Blind Ambition

by Carol Ashby

  As he finished, he glanced at Valeria. Her face shone with her brightest eyes and warmest smile. It had been worth reading just to make her so happy. As he closed the codex, she began their prayers. “Dear Father, we thank You...”

  Decimus held Rhoda in his lap while the three of them thanked their god for various things and asked him for his help and blessings. As always, Valeria gave thanks for him being with them and prayed for his continued healing. He still didn’t understand how they could treat a god like a personal friend, but he was glad he’d joined them at the table, if only for how happy it had made Valeria. Perhaps he would make a habit of it.

  Decimus lay on his side, watching the cottage door. Valeria had gone out on the porch to spend a few minutes alone after banking the fire and before going to bed. It had been a long time since she walked outside, much longer than usual. Had something happened to her?

  He rose from the bed and followed her onto the porch.

  “Valeria? Is anything wrong?”

  She was leaning against the post, gazing up at the night sky. Even in profile, he could see the droop of her shoulders and the absence of her usual smile. Without turning toward him, she replied. “No. I was just remembering.”

  “Remembering what?” He moved over to stand close beside her.

  “Standing here with Gaius in the summer, watching the falling stars together. There’s one now.”

  She shivered. The night was already chilly, and she hadn’t brought her shawl.

  “He used to put his arm around me to keep me warm, and we would stand here for the longest time, just watching the stars and talking.” There was a long pause. “It’s been three years this month since the raiders killed him. I know he’s with Jesus in heaven, but I miss him so much sometimes.”

  Decimus never wasted a strategic opportunity. “My arm is usually reserved for Rhoda while we’re reading, but she won’t mind if I use it to warm you up tonight.” As he spoke, he leaned his crutch against the post, wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and drew her to his side.

  He half expected her to pull away. Instead, she gave him a grateful smile and almost snuggled into him. She’d never let him get so close when she wasn’t crying. How could he keep her there?

  A streak of light revealed the solution. “There’s another one. I’d like to watch them for a while, too.”

  They stood together in silence for many minutes. She was counting the falling stars. He was acutely aware of her breathing in and out, relishing the warmth and the closeness as he enfolded her in his arm.

  Finally, she sighed. “Time to go in.” As she stepped away, she turned to face him. “What is it about Roman hair?”

  She pushed a stray lock back from his forehead and ran her hand slowly through his hair to keep it from falling back. His blood heated and surged. He fought to keep the desire out of his eyes.

  “You and Galen are a pair when it comes to letting it fall onto your face.” Then she handed him his crutch before she walked through the door ahead of him.

  His lips pursed. How ironic. She would let him put his arm around her as long as she thought it was like holding Rhoda, and she would touch his face only in the way she would touch her little brother. That was more than he’d expected, but it was much less than he wanted.

  At the foot of the ladder, she smiled as she pushed the wayward strand back from his forehead again. “Good night, Decimus. Rest in peace.”

  “Good night, Valeria.”

  He watched her climb the ladder. It felt so good when she touched his face, even if she was only thinking of him as a brother...for now.

  Valeria lay in her bed, thanking God that she’d found him alive, thinking about how nice it was having him as part of her family circle, and praying that his willingness to read Jesus’s words would turn into a desire to follow him as Lord.

  Decimus lay on his bed, wondering what it would take for her to see him as a man who loved her instead of a grown-up version of Galen and pondering what he should do about it if she ever did.

  Chapter 27: A Good Brother

  Valeria was already cooking their breakfast when Decimus awoke. He rose and limped over to the chair.

  Her eyes narrowed as she gauged how his leg was doing when he put his weight on it. He was moving like he had before he hurt it trying to dig the grave, so it must be at least a little better. But even if it wasn’t, he would tell her it was much better and not to worry about him.

  “So how are you feeling today?”

  “Ready to work with Galen again. The day of rest helped.”

  “I want you to take it easy today. Too much too soon is always a bad idea. You’ve had a major setback.”

  “I might be tempted to take it easy if I can spend the time watching a beautiful woman.”

  The smile that was playing at the corner of his mouth and the twinkle in his eyes triggered the same in response.

  “I’m sorry we haven’t found one for you yet. I know a good hostess should try to give a guest what he wants, but you’ll have to settle for me.”

  He brought the tease out in her, just like Galen always did.

  “You must be the best hostess around here since you’re exactly what I want.”

  “Then I don’t know why you keep asking for a beautiful woman if I’m all you want.”

  The grin he gave her was as big as her own. Joking with him was such good fun.

  Rhoda came in with the basket of eggs and Galen right behind her.

  “Hope you made a lot this morning, Val. It smells great, and I’m starving.” He grinned as he settled onto his stool.

  She pushed a strand of his hair back from his forehead as she placed a steaming bowl in front of him. “You make it so easy to cook. You’ll eat anything and say it’s good.”

  She glanced at Decimus. How best to keep him from doing too much today?

  “Are you working in the high meadow again? If so, we’ll be glad to keep Decimus company this morning.”

  “I was planning to work on―” Galen stopped with his mouth open. “Right. I’m going to the high meadow.” He grinned at Decimus. “Sorry. I guess you’ll have to put up with these two this morning.”

  Decimus saw through her attempt to manipulate what he’d be doing. Normally, her being too protective would have irritated him, but today he was willing to let it pass. It probably would be better to have another half-day of rest for his leg.

  “It’s no sacrifice to watch a pretty woman instead of working. I can handle that.”

  He looked at her to see if he made her blush, but she only smiled like it was one of Galen’s jokes.

  Rhoda almost bounced on the bench. “Can you read me more fables after I get my chores finished?”

  The corner of his mouth pulled up as he nodded. That wouldn’t be as much fun as watching Valeria, but making Rhoda happy was a good way to spend a morning, too.

  Decimus was sitting on the porch bench, watching Astro, when Galen began washing his hands for lunch.

  “What are you doing in the high meadow?”

  Galen shook off the water before grabbing the towel by the porch washbasin. “I’m repairing the sheep pens.”

  “That sounds like what we did in the cattle shed.”

  “It’s not much different.”

  Decimus leaned back and laced his fingers atop his head. What Galen was doing sounded like something he could help with that afternoon. He didn’t feel like resting the whole day, even if Valeria was convinced he should.

  After lunch, Valeria spotted Decimus following Galen toward the path that led to the high meadow. Her lips tightened. Galen should know better than to take him up that trail yet. It was steep and rocky and no place for someone who needed a crutch to help him walk. He was sure to do something to make his leg worse, maybe even start the bleeding again. If he really hurt it, how would they ever get him back to the cottage?

  She hurried to catch up with them.

 
“Where are you two going?”

  “Galen needs help fixing the sheep pens. It’s easy work, and I’ve rested enough.”

  Galen’s eyes flicked from her to Decimus and back. “Val, I told him I could manage myself, but he really wants to come help. He says his leg is much better.”

  She put her hand on Decimus’s arm.

  “That trail is steep and slippery, even with two good legs. You need to wait a few more days before you try it, or you’ll undo all the progress you’ve made. I’ll help Galen with the pens today.”

  Decimus stopped his lips from tightening. She didn’t need to be such a mother hen, but she was probably right this time. He wasn’t that surefooted using the crutch. His leg didn’t hurt much as long as he wasn’t using it to lift something. Then it bothered him a lot. Maybe climbing a steep trail was too much like lifting.

  “All right, physician. I’ll follow your instructions...today at least.”

  She smiled and patted his arm. “That’s good. Let’s go, Galen.”

  His gaze stayed locked on her until they disappeared over the top of the hill.

  Decimus was reading by the window when Valeria returned from the high meadow.

  “You look like you’ve had a restful afternoon.”

  “A well-written history is as good a way as any to pass the time when there’s nothing else to do and no pretty woman to watch. I’m glad Rhoda rescued my scrolls and codices.”

  She smiled at him and nodded. “I don’t often have time during the day, but I love reading, too.”

  She’d ignored his comment about her being pretty. Disappointing. He’d expected a playful exchange with her claiming she wasn’t beautiful and him insisting she was.

  She took her comb from the cupboard at the foot of the bed and sat down at the table.

  “There’s always a good breeze in the high meadow. I forgot to braid my hair before I went up.” Her first attempt to pull the comb through met with fierce resistance.

  He smiled at the opportunity before him. She would have to loosen the tangles by hand before she could begin to comb it. As she started to work the snarls out with her fingers, Decimus walked over behind her.

  “Rhoda would help you do that, but since she isn’t here, let me help.”

  She turned and smiled up at him. “That would be nice.”

  He picked up a tangled section. Beautiful hair, lustrous and thick. For days, he’d wanted to work his fingers into it, to feel its silky softness. This was the perfect chance to run his fingers through it, to play with it as he removed the snarls. Asking her to let him substitute for Rhoda had been a stroke of genius. No reason why she shouldn’t let the “extra brother” do her sister’s job.

  The first section wasn’t as tangled as it looked, and he soon had it flowing loose and free.

  “You’re good at this. Have you untangled the hair of many women before?”

  “No. Only Astro’s tail.”

  The laughter that shook her shoulders was musical in his ears. “So now I’ll know when you tease me about having the softest hair you’ve ever untangled that you only have Astro’s tail to compare it to.”

  Decimus let her laugh at him. It was true that hers was the first woman’s hair he’d untangled, but he’d played with the hair of many women before her. He could honestly say hers was the finest in his extensive experience, but she wouldn’t believe him.

  “Do you have any sisters, Decimus?”

  “No. I had an older brother, but Tiberius died when I was only four. I don’t really remember him.”

  “That’s too bad. You would have made a wonderful brother.”

  Her comment frustrated him. There was nothing brotherly about his feelings for her. Still, he did enjoy running his fingers through her hair, and she wouldn’t allow that if she thought of him as a man instead of a brother. For the moment, he’d settle for what left her comfortable, but it couldn’t come soon enough that she’d see him as the man he was rather than the brother she imagined him to be.

  When the clean-up after supper was finished, Rhoda opened the cupboard and lifted out a codex and the cloth for their evening prayer time. Cradling it in one arm, she reached out to Decimus with her free hand as he sat on the edge of his bed. He took it and let her lead him to the table.

  “It’s Valeria’s turn to pick tonight, but she won’t mind if you read.”

  She handed the codex to Valeria and spread the cloth on the table in front of him.

  Valeria beamed. “I would love to have you read what I choose.”

  He settled into his chair, and Rhoda crawled into his lap and snuggled in. He wrapped his arm around her and waited for Valeria to show him what she would have him read.

  A special glow lit her eyes as she looked up from the codex and fixed her gaze on him. The last time he saw her that happy was the day his sight returned. Why him reading made her so happy mystified him, but he was willing to do anything so simple that could bring her such pleasure.

  He cleared his throat and began. “...And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.”

  Rhoda whispered, “That’s Jesus talking to the people who were thinking about following him.”

  Valeria touched his hand where it was resting on the codex.

  “Thank you.” Her smile was radiant.

  “Father, we thank You today...” As she began praying, he settled back in the chair with both arms wrapped around Rhoda. There was a strange sense of peace around the table when they were praying. He couldn’t quite figure out why sitting there felt so good, but he would be willing to do this every evening. He’d made Valeria happy, and something that he couldn’t explain made it feel so right to be sitting there while they prayed.

  Rhoda and Galen were already in the loft when Valeria finished banking the fire and headed for the porch. She paused in the doorway and turned her gaze on Decimus, inviting him with her smile to join her. He followed her out the door and stood beside her at the edge of the porch.

  “I’m glad you’re joining us for prayers.” Her eyes sparkled as she smiled up at him.

  What could he say that would keep that beautiful smile on her lips?

  “I enjoy reading. I’m glad Rhoda asked me to start.”

  He’d chosen his words well. Her smile remained as she took his hand and squeezed it before turning to gaze at the stars.

  It was another chilly night, so he moved closer to her to place his arm around her. “Warm enough?”

  She leaned into him as he pulled her against his side, and she wrapped her arm around his waist.

  “Yes.” Her deep, contented sigh drew his smile. After a few minutes of watching stars, she moved away from him, taking his hand in hers as he lowered his arm. She led him back into the cottage and released his hand at the ladder.

  “Good night, Decimus. Rest in peace.”

  “Good night, Valeria.” His eyes followed her into the loft. Bright stars on a cool night and his arm around her―the perfect ending to a good day.

  Valeria lay in her bed, thanking God that Decimus’s healing continued and that he was happy to be learning more about Jesus.

  Decimus lay on his bed, thinking about how much he’d enjoyed every quiet moment with her: untangling her hair, watching the stars, holding her close to his side.

  Chapter 28: Justice

  It was market day, and Valeria had already loaded the vegetables into the cart. Now she was making breakfast.

  Decimus sat at the table with the chair tipped back and his hands resting atop his head. “Galen and I are going to start a new project.”

  She turned from the fireplace to look at him. “What are you planning to do?”

  He rocked the chair back onto its legs. “I can never repay you for all you’ve done, but I want to do something. If you’re going t
o raise horses, you’ll need a stable for your broodmares and new foals. It’s a two-man job, and Galen and I should have time to complete it before Astro’s healed enough to carry me back to Mogontiacum.”

  Her eyebrows shot up at his suggestion. She hadn’t thought of him as a man who knew how to build things, only as a wounded soldier who needed her help to get better. It sounded like an excellent way for him to hurt himself again.

  “That’s too much to ask of you.”

  “You’re not asking. I’m offering, and it’s not too much at all. I’ve overseen the construction of army camps. I know exactly what it will take to build the stable. There are plenty of the right type and size of trees in your woods, and I can teach Galen all the skills he doesn’t already have.”

  Her lips parted to tell him not to do something so likely to hurt him, but the set of his jaw told her he was already determined to do it. Nothing she could say would persuade him not to.

  He crossed his arms. He was expecting an argument from her, but instead she smiled.

  “It’s a wonderful idea.”

  Galen came through the door and sat down by Decimus. “Did you tell her?”

  “Yes, and we’ll start work on it tomorrow. Today we’ll finish up in the cattle shed.”

  As Valeria handed out the porridge to everyone, she found herself looking at Decimus differently. She’d been so used to thinking of him as the wounded tribune who needed her help. He was actually a complex man of many talents. He wasn’t helping Galen anymore. He was directing what the two of them did together. Funny she hadn’t noticed that before.