Sneaking a peak from the side booth near the bar, I realize Malcolm isn't so much intimidating as he is just overwhelming. He's tall, maybe 6'4, but he's built like a brick shithouse. He definitely has large muscles, but with his height the overall effect is one of a huge man with a stern, harsh-looking face when he isn't grinning or laughing.
"Saige..." Malcolm breathes nearly touching my back with his body, startling me so much I actually drop a wine glass on the table as I jump. "Sorry," he adds grabbing my arm to steady me.
Turning on him, I practically yell, "What IS it with you guys?"
"I apologize for scaring you," he replies quickly releasing my arm. "I wanted to ask if you'd like to have coffee with me some time."
"I'm not interested, okay?" Glaring up at him I'm so over all this shit. Moving to leave I just catch his slow grin before turning away. "What's so funny?" I snap again. "Never mind. I don't want to hear it."
"I can't stop thinking about you," he smiles stunning me for a second.
"Look, Malcolm," I exhale slowly. "I'm not interested, okay? And quite frankly your other buddy Keith used that exact same line on me earlier."
When Malcolm looks confused or maybe angry by my statement, I walk away. Leaving him standing alone by the booth I round the bar for the kitchen with my hands full to get away. Nearly tossing the plates in the dirty bins for the Busser, I take a second to calm my racing heart.
Leaning against the wall I wonder why Malcolm thought it was a good idea to sneak up on me. Honestly, why the hell would he practically corner me against the booth if not to scare the shit out of me? Christ, men are such idiots sometimes.
Waiting them out, I notice Sheila walking towards the kitchen, so when she enters I have to know, "Are the 2 at the bar still here?"
Laughing at my irritated face I assume, she asks, "You mean your other admirers? Jesus, Saige... Are you producing extra pheromones today or something?"
Surprised by her comment, I burst out laughing with her. "Not that I'm aware of," I giggle.
"Well, you're doing something. Did you see the shorter one? He was gorgeous," she fans her face and I assume she means Dan who was both shorter and better looking than Malcolm. "Wanna tell me your secret?"
"Um, I yelled at the earlier asshole last night, and apparently that was a huge turn on for the rest of his friends. Who the hell knows?"
"Huh. Whenever I yell at men they think I'm a bitch. Next time you have to let me watch so I know how it's done," she adds grinning.
"No problem. Have they left?"
"Yup. But they did leave you another love note on the counter. Can I read it?"
Exhaling as I walk back out to the lounge I mumble, "Go for it," as she walks over to their empty glasses on the bar and another business card underneath. "'I hope to see you soon... Malcolm,'" Sheila reads his phone number as I shake my head.
"Not likely." Taking the business card from her, I read Dan's name on the front and see he's a contractor at Ciccone's Contracting, either his family's company or his own before throwing out the card with Keith's in the trash.
God, men are irritating me tonight. Well, this whole week actually, and I really wish everyone would just leave me the hell alone.
Eventually closed and cleaning up I think of Tyler often. Between his life with me, and his ending of us, I'm still shocked by how it all went down. I never saw this coming, and I can't stand how it happened.
Almost laughing out loud when my mind suddenly focuses on a MasterCard commercial, I think my sadness has made me nearly delirious.
4 years of love and devotion.
2 minutes of sex and ruination.
55 hours of sadness.
Eternal heartbreak...
Priceless.
CHAPTER 7
Escaping the back doors before Mike can follow, I make my quick getaway when he locks himself in the back office to put the deposit in the safe. Typically, 2 people have to close out and lock up together but with the other staff and Sheila leaving as soon as the place was cleaned, I knew I had to make a break for it when he was busy.
Running for my car, I'm almost giddy over my escape. I didn't want to lie to Mike, but I just couldn't deal with another argument over staying at the motel again.
Rounding the driver's side, I gasp when I see someone jump at me.
Screaming, I feel myself falling when I'm suddenly hit and tackled to the ground by someone waiting.
Instantly my face explodes against the ground and everything is so dark, I don't know what's happening.
Gasping, I try to scream again but a quick fist to the side of my face shuts me up as the pain bursts through my head stunning me silent.
Fighting as hard as I can, my arms are held tightly behind my back by a hand as my skirt is yanked up to my hips. Twisting and gagging on the blood in my mouth, I try to fight him. I cry-scream when I can, and I close my legs as tightly as possible when I feel his hand trying to pry them open.
Ahhhhh... Feeling fingers tear and push through my underwear from behind I cry out scraping my face against the ground until a knee digs so hard in my back I'm instantly winded.
I can't breathe, but I can suddenly feel his fingers pushing inside me hard and fast.
Oh my god!
There's so much pain as he thrusts into my body in both my front and back as I fight to get my hands free. Trying to scream again I can't pull in a breath with his weight on top of me.
Gagging from the pain, I hear a belt buckle jangle and the sheer panic of that sound freezes me in place. I know what that sound means, and I know what happens after that sound.
I know what’s happening, but I can't stop it.
"Noooooo..." I slur from the side of my mouth before I'm hit so hard in the side of my head, my eyes lose focus and my mind blanks around the stars and darkness swallowing me up.
Fading back in I beg, "Please d-don't do this," but there’s nothing but a grunt in reply.
Ignoring all the pain in my body and the feel of being torn apart by dirty hands, I know when my hips are lifted because the pressure on my chest and back suddenly eases.
My face scrapes against the ground again and my arms suddenly thump down to my sides when I'm released.
With one long last cry, my completely illogical mind suddenly thinks of Tyler.
Tyler always said he loved me and he always laughed after my hands thunked on the mattress or floor after he made me come. Tyler thought it was funny and sexy when my arms suddenly fell away from him because I was too weak to hold him in my post-orgasmic haze.
Tyler is the only man I've ever known this way, and I can't stand the pain ripping through my chest at the thought of this man taking that away from me.
Screaming again when I feel fingers tear apart my ass I try one last fight before it’s over for me. Pushing back against the body behind me, I rise on my hands and twist and slam myself into my car door before he grabs me again hard by my hips and thigh.
Ripping my flesh and squeezing me so tightly I scream, he lifts me back into position.
"Saige?"
Gasping a quick breath, I scream as he slams me against him to penetrate me once quickly before I'm released and thrown forward on my face again.
And then it's over.
"I'll see you soon," he says and I freeze instantly.
Gasping, I know that voice. And I know him.
Feeling him stumble against my legs he quickly stands but kicks me in the side before I hear Mike yelling closer to me.
"I'm... here..." I moan grabbing my own ribs.
Inhaling on a gasp, the pain is unbearable. My lungs won't pull in another breath, and my head hurts so badly I'm nearly blinded by the pain throbbing through my skull.
"Saige! Oh, god..." Mike cries slamming down on his knees beside me. "Oh fuck, honey," he babbles touching all over my body with shaking hands as he turns me over on my side. "Oh, god. Okay. I'm calling the police. Shit, Saige..."
Listening to Mike freak out, my mind fades
in and out. Gasping for breath, I try to stay with him but I hurt too much. When everything inside turns hollow the night becomes too painful and dark around me to stay awake anymore.
"Saige? Listen to me... No, she keeps passing out. Fuck, she looks so bad. Saige? Can you stay awake for me? The ambulance will be here in just a few minutes. Please, Saige? I don't know! But her face is really bloody and she's breathing weird and there’s blood around her thighs- Not more than 5 minutes!" Mike yells choking on tears beside me.
Leaning toward me Mike gently brushes the hair off my face with a shaking hand when I finally look at him. Flinching, my face is on fire, and his hand though I'm sure gentle feels like sandpaper scraping me harder.
"Don't touch my face," I moan before choking on the blood in my mouth.
"Where are you hurt, Saige? Can you tell me?"
Thinking of what he's asking, I blank again.
Everything hurts.
There isn't a part of my body that doesn't hurt. From my knees to my head, all I feel is intense pain.
Suddenly crying, I gag on my sorrow and choke on my blood.
"Don't look at me," I croak realizing my skirt is still lifted and Mike can see my body and everything that was done to me. "Please don't look at me," I beg trying to move my hand lower until he quickly moves my skirt lower for me and squeezes my hand softly.
"I hear the sirens, Saige. And you're safe now, I promise," Mike says so sadly, I focus on his eyes still dripping tears down his face. Absurdly, I find myself nodding to reassure him.
"Did you see h-him?"
Shaking his head, Mike groans, "Not really. He was big in dark clothing with a hood but I heard you scream so I ran to you instead of chasing him. I'm so sorry," he moans.
"So'kay," I mumble again as the pain in my head starts thumping so hard and fast, I feel like I might actually have some real damage. "I know him..." I whisper before the darkness takes me finally.
*****
Waking in the ambulance, the paramedic starts asking me questions I can’t answer. I hear him, and I even understand what he's asking me but I can't find my own voice. My lips are moving I think, but no sounds will come out of my mouth. Focusing on a silent, horrible looking Mike, I feel silent tears fall from my eyes.
"I'm so sorry," he breathes softly, and all I want to do is shake my head to let him know he shouldn't be sorry, but my head won't move. I want him to know I’m okay, but I still can’t speak.
Mike saved me, and he took care of me. He's not the bad guy here, and I don't want him to feel bad for any of this.
*****
Waking in the ER, I feel the surgical scissors cut away my clothes as a mad panic sets in. Moaning, I feel my hands thrash against the hands touching me before a nurse talks me calm. I'm reassured and soothed and eased by medication as others surround me. I'm foggy and unsure of my reality as lights pass overhead.
I'm awake, but unconscious in my head.
And I’m terrified.
*****
Waking in a room, I agree to a physical exam before I fade to darkness once more as the medication soothes my broken soul.
I wish I could feel Tyler holding me warm.
But Tyler is gone.
*****
Waking in a room, I'm not alone. Feeling a man's presence, I look quickly and open my mouth to scream.
Screaming inside from the pain, I stop the fight and look to the woman beyond and know I'm not going to be hurt again.
She won’t leave me alone.
*****
Waking, my head is pounding and my face hurts so badly, I cry out before I realize where I am.
Touching my own skin, I'm shocked by the feel of my face. I'm swollen and bumpy, and I throb and ache everywhere.
I am nothing but pain.
*****
Waking, I hear the whirling sound moving around me and feel the closed walls tightening around my chest in fear.
Lashing out, I flail and kick until I'm stopped by a calm voice soothing me back to sleep.
Calmed, I am darkness.
CHAPTER 8
"Saige?" Opening my eyes again, I see Selena smiling beside me. "Hey kiddo... welcome back," she says squeezing my hand.
Gasping my relief, I burst into tears. Feeling my body hugged, I sob in the safe arms around me. Selena is like my big sister. She’s my best friend and I love her so much she’s just everything good in this moment.
Holding my head tightly, I'm astounded by the pain. Moaning in agony, she gently leans me back on my pillow wiping her own tears away.
"I don't know what to say, Saige," she breathes so sadly in my ear I huff a last cry. I don't know what to say either. I have no words, and I can't think of anything that will make this better for her.
"The police need to speak with you as soon as you can. Mike’s already given a statement, and we're both just devastated by what happened to you. I wish I knew what to say to make this all better for you but I don’t," Selena whispers softly as another tear slides down her cheek.
Watching her tear fall in slow motion, I realize my brain isn't functioning right. I’m delayed, or damaged, or destroyed maybe.
"I'm not concen- th-thinking right. Like in my head, Sel-ena. There's s-something wrong," I panic.
When she takes my hand again I relax a little as the minutes pass.
"Listen to me," she leans closer until I open my eyes again. "You have a bad concussion with a little brain swelling I was told by your doctors. You're in for at least the rest of today and tonight and maybe even tomorrow night while they monitor you. They explained what might happen to you and confusion was one of the symptoms. But you're going to be okay, so don't worry about that big brain of yours," she soothes. God, if my face didn't hurt so much I might actually smile back at her I'm so relieved. "You're also heavily mediated right now, so that’s why you're confused. Oh, and Mike told the police and hospital staff I was your sister if anyone asks."
Bursting into tears again, I slur, "You are my s-sister," before I feel her hug me back asleep.
*****
Waking, I realize one thing with such certainty, my heart starts pounding as the fear freezes me still.
"I know him," I cry out loud as Selena gasps beside me.
"How?" She whispers at my side. "How do you know him?"
Thinking of the sounds, and the smells, and the weight of his body and hands, I search my brain but come up empty. "I don't know. But I know I do."
"Okay. We'll tell the police that and they'll find him, Saige. They said it was probably a personal attack because your purse was still on the ground beside you."
Crying, I ask, "Why personal?"
"I don't know."
"He didn't rape me all the way," I suddenly choke then gag when I remember his fingers inside me. "Um, but he touched me bad, Selena. Really bad and painful and it was so awful. He put his fingers in me in both places and I still feel them," I cry as she nods beside me.
Not speaking, she lets me barf out the gross memory to her.
Choking a little as the fear constricts my lungs I tell her all I can. "He hit me, and hurt me, and he was going to rape me, but Mike called my name. He kicked me and punched me and tore my clothes and hit me and he actually kicked me, Selena!" I yell angrily.
"And when I heard his belt buckle I knew what he was going to do and I was so scared, and I don't want that, but Mike called my name." Nodding at me, I continue.
"Mike called my name so he could only thrust in me one time. Then he kicked me and stopped, but I was so scared and I didn't want him to do that to me. But then Mike saved me before he could rape me all the way I think."
"Saige, you were raped and-"
"No. It was just the one time he was in me, so that’s not rape," I find myself desperate for Selena to agree with me, until she nods slowly with another tear falling from her sad eyes.
Sobbing, I try to wash all the filthy memories away. I need to make this stop, and I need to forget this happened.
/> "God, my head really hurts, and I feel confused and kind of sick."
"I know. Just take it easy for now. The police said they'd be back in a few hours, so you have time to sleep again. I'll be here, and Mike is waiting to see you whenever you can."
"He saved me..." I moan again remembering him fall on his knees beside me. Crying, he was so gentle and kind to me when I needed him.
“I know he did, honey.”
"Where's Griffin?" I panic. "He's too sweet for all this ugly. I don't want him to know anything about this. I don't want him to see me like this, Selena. You shouldn't be away from him for me," I freak out desperately until she stops me.
Patting my arm Selena lets me know, "He's with Dave right now, and then he's going to my mom's in the afternoon."
"Dave?" I choke thinking of her asshole ex-husband.
"Yup. He came running in the middle of the night to help me as soon as I called him," she nods. "So he's staying at my place with Griffin until he takes him to my Mom's later. Griffin is safe at home. And Dave manned-up for once," she smirks to my relief.
"Thank you for coming here," I squeeze her hand.
"Of course I'd be here." Inhaling deeply, Selena's gearing up for something hard I can tell. I've seen that expression of hers, and I know when she's struggling to speak. "I have to know... do you want us to call Tyler?" Actually whispering his name at the end, it still stabs through my heart.
Shaking my head, I feel the tears start again, and honestly, every part of me wants to say yes. I want Tyler to fix this so badly I'm almost desperate enough to beg for him. But he can't fix me or what he's done, so instead I say, "Never."
"Honey, you've been moaning his name and crying for him all night."
"Never, Selena," I glare so she knows I'm serious. "He didn't want me more than her, and I don't want him like this. I'll never know why he really came for me, and I don't want to know if it’s only guilt or sympathy. Don't ever call him or tell him because it’s over for us. Please?" I beg until she nods.
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