“Except, of course, the mother-in-law felt she had the right to walk back in any time she felt like it, because she’d given it to them and she still looked on it as more hers than Margot’s.”
“Did you and Margot still see a lot of each other?” asked Robin.
“We did,” said Oonagh. “We used to try and meet at least once every couple of weeks. Real best friends, we were. Even after she married Roy, she wanted to hold on to me. They had their middle-class friends, o’ course, but I t’ink,” said Oonagh, her voice thickening, “I t’ink she knew I’d always be on her side, you see. She was moving in circles where she felt alone.”
“At home, or at work, too?” asked Robin.
“At home, she was a fish out of water,” said Oonagh. “Roy’s house, Roy’s family, Roy’s friends, Roy’s everyt’ing. She saw her own mammy and daddy plenty, but it was hard, the daddy being in his wheelchair, to get him out to the big house. I t’ink the Bamboroughs felt intimidated by Roy and his mother. So Margot used to go back to Stepney to see them. She was still supporting them financially. Ran herself ragged between all her different commitments.”
“And how were things at work?”
“Uphill, all the way,” said Oonagh. “There weren’t that many women doctors back then, and she was young and working class and that practice she ended up at, the St. John’s one, she felt alone. It wasn’t a happy place,” said Oonagh, echoing Dr. Gupta. “Being Margot, she wanted to try and make it better. That was Margot’s whole ethos: make it better. Make it work. Look after everyone. Solve the problem. She tried to bring them together as a team, even though she was the one being bullied.”
“Who was bullying her?”
“The old fella,” said Oonagh. “I can’t remember the names, now. There were two other doctors, isn’t that right? The old one and the Indian one. She said he was all right, the Indian fella, but she could feel the disapproval off him, too. They had an argument about the pill, she told me. GPs could give it to unmarried women if they wanted—when it was first brought out, it was married women only—but the Indian lad, he still wouldn’t hand it out to unmarried women. The first family planning clinics started appearing the same year Margot disappeared. We talked about them. Margot said, t’ank God for it, because she was sure the women coming to their clinic weren’t able to get it from either of the other doctors.
“But it wasn’t only them. She had trouble with the other staff. I don’t t’ink the nurse liked her, either.”
“Janice?” said Robin.
“Was it Janice?” said Oonagh, frowning.
“Irene?” suggested Strike.
“She was blonde,” said Oonagh. “I remember, at the Christmas party—”
“You were there?” said Robin, surprised.
“Margot begged me to go,” said Oonagh. “She’d set it up and she was afraid it was going to be awful. Roy was working, so he couldn’t go. This was just a few months after Anna was born. Margot had been on maternity leave and they’d got another doctor in to cover for her, a man. She was convinced the place had worked better without her. She was hormonal and tired and dreading going back. Anna would only have been two or three months old. Margot brought her to the party, because she was breastfeeding. She’d organized the Christmas party to try and make a bit of a fresh start with them all, break the ice before she had to go back in.”
“Go on about Irene,” said Robin, conscious of Strike’s pen hovering over his notebook.
“Well, she got drunk, if she’s the blonde one. She’d brought some man with her to the party. Anyway, toward the end of the night, Irene accused Margot of flirting with the man. Did you ever in your loife hear anything more ridiculous? There’s Margot standing there with her new baby in her arms, and the girl having a proper go at her. Was she not the nurse? It’s so long ago…”
“No, Irene was the receptionist,” said Robin.
“I t’ought that was the little Italian girl?”
“Gloria was the other one.”
“Oh, Margot loved her,” said Oonagh. “She said the girl was very clever but in a bad situation. She never gave me details. I t’ink the girl had seen her for medical advice and o’ course, Margot wouldn’t have shared anything about her health. She took all of dat very seriously. No priest in his confessional treated other people’s secrets with more respect.”
“I want to ask you about something sensitive,” said Robin tentatively. “There was a book about Margot, written in 1985, and you—”
“Joined with Roy to stop it,” said Oonagh at once. “I did. It was a pack o’ lies from start to finish. You know what he wrote, obviously. About—”
Oonagh might have left the Catholic Church, but she balked at the word.
“—the termination. It was a filthy lie. I never had an abortion and nor did Margot. She’d have told me, if she was thinking about it. We were best friends. Somebody used her name to make dat appointment. I don’t know who. The clinic didn’t recognize her picture. She’d never been there. The very best t’ing in her life was Anna and she’d never have got rid of another baby. Never. She wasn’t religious, but she’d have t’ought that was a sin, all right.”
“She wasn’t a churchgoer?” Robin asked.
“At’eist t’rough and t’rough,” said Oonagh. “She t’ought it was all superstition. Her mammy was chapel, and Margot reacted against it. The church kept women down, was the way Margot looked at it, and she said to me, ‘If there’s a God, why’d my daddy, who’s a good man, have to fall off that step-ladder? Why’s my family have to live the life we’ve had?’ Well, Margot couldn’t tell me anything about hypocrisy and religion I didn’t already know. I’d left the Catholics by then. Doctrine of papal infallibility. No contraception, no matter if women died having their eleventh.
“My own mammy t’ought she was God’s deputy on this earth, so she did, and some of the nuns at my school were pure bitches. Sister Mary Theresa—see there?” said Oonagh, pushing her fringe out of her eyes to reveal a scar the size of a five-pence piece. “She hit me round the head wit’ a metal set square. Blood everywhere. ‘I expect you deserved it,’ Mammy said.
“Now, I’ll tell you who reminded me of Sister Mary Theresa,” said Oonagh. “Would she have been the nurse, now? The older one at Margot’s practice?”
“D’you mean Dorothy?”
“She was a widow, the one I’m t’inking of.”
“Yes, that was Dorothy, the secretary.”
“Spit image of Sister Mary Theresa, the eyes on her,” said Oonagh. “I got cornered by her at the party. They’re drawn to the church, women like dat. Nearly every congregation’s got a couple. Outward observance, inward poison. They say the words, you know ‘Father forgive me, for I have sinned,’ but the Dorothys of this world, they don’t believe they can sin, not really.
“One t’ing life’s taught me: where there’s no capacity for joy, there’s no capacity for goodness,” said Oonagh Kennedy. “She had it in for Margot, that Dorothy. I told her I was Margot’s best friend and she started asking nosy questions. How we’d met. Boyfriends. How Margot met Roy. None of her bloody business.
“Then she started talking about the old doctor, whatever his name was. There was a bit of Sister Mary Theresa in her, all right, but dat woman’s god was sitting a desk away. I told Margot about the talk I’d had with her afterward, and Margot said I was right. Dorothy was a mean one.”
“It was Dorothy’s son who wrote the book about Margot,” said Robin.
“Was it her son?” gasped Oonagh. “Was it? Well, there you are. Nasty pieces of work, the pair of them.”
“When was the last time you saw Margot?” Robin asked.
“Exactly two weeks before the night she disappeared. We met at The T’ree Kings then, too. Six o’clock, I had a night off from the club. There were a couple of bars nearer the practice, but she didn’t want to run into anyone she worked with after hours.”
“Can you remember what you talked about that nig
ht?”
“I remember everyt’ing,” said Oonagh. “You’ll think that’s an exaggeration, but it isn’t. I started by giving her a row about going for a drink with Satchwell, which she’d told me about on the phone. They’d bumped into each other in the street.
“She said he seemed different to how he used to be and that worried me, I’m not going to lie. She wasn’t built for an affair, but she was unhappy. Once we got to the pub, she told me the whole story. He’d asked to see her again and she’d said no. I believed her, and I’ll tell you why: because she looked so damn miserable that she’d said no.
“She seemed worn down, that night. Unhappy like I’d never seen her before. She said Roy hadn’t been talking to her for ten days when she ran into Satchwell. They’d had a row about his mother walking in and out of the house like she owned it. Margot wanted to redecorate, but Roy said it’d break his mother’s heart if they got rid of any of the things his father loved. So there was Margot, an outsider in her own home, not even allowed to change the ornaments.
“Margot said she’d had a line from Court and Spark running through her head, all day long. Joni Mitchell’s album, Court and Spark,” she said, seeing Robin’s puzzlement. “That was Margot’s religion. Joni Mitchell. She raved about that album. It was a line from the song ‘The Same Situation.’ ‘Caught in my struggle for higher achievements, And my search for love that don’t seem to cease.’ I can’t listen to that album to this day. It’s too painful.
“She told me she went straight home after havin’ the drink with Paul and told Roy what had just happened. I think partly she felt guilty about going for the drink, but partly she wanted to jolt him awake. She was tired and miserable and she was saying someone else wanted me, once. Human nature, isn’t it? ‘Wake up,’ she was saying. ‘You can’t just ignore me and cut me off and refuse all compromises. I can’t live like this.’
“Well, being Roy, he wasn’t the type to fire up and start throwing things. I t’ink she’d have found it easier if he had. He was furious, all right, but he showed it by gettin’ colder and more silent.
“I don’t t’ink he said another word to her until the day she disappeared. She told me on the phone when we arranged the drink for the eleventh, ‘I’m still living in a silent order.’ She sounded hopeless. I remember thinking then, ‘She’s going to leave him.’
“When we met in the pub that last time, I said to her, ‘Satchwell’s not the answer to whatever’s wrong with you and Roy.’
‘We talked about Anna, too. Margot would’ve given anything to take a year or two out and concentrate on Anna, and that’s exactly what Roy and his mother had wanted her to do, stay home with Anna and forget working.
“But she couldn’t. She was still supporting her parents. Her mammy was ill now, and Margot didn’t want her out cleaning houses any more. While she was working, she could look Roy in the face and justify all the money she was giving them, but his mother wasn’t going to let her precious, delicate son work for the benefit of a pair o’ chain-smokin’ Eastenders.”
“Can you remember anything else you talked about?”
“We talked about the Playboy Club, because I was leaving. I’d got my flat and I was thinking of going and studying. Margot was all for it. What I didn’t tell her was, I was thinking of a t’eology degree, what with her attitude to religion.
“We talked about politics, a bit. We both wanted Wilson to win the election. And I told her I was worried I still hadn’t found The One. Over t’irty, I was. That was old, then, for finding a husband.
“Before we said goodbye that night, I said, ‘Don’t forget, there’s always a spare room at my place. Room for a bassinet, as well.’”
Tears welled again in Oonagh’s eyes and trickled down her cheeks. She picked up her napkin and pressed it to her face.
“I’m sorry. Forty years ago, but it feels like yesterday. They don’t disappear, the dead. It’d be easier if they did. I can see her so clearly. If she walked up those steps now, part of me wouldn’t be surprised. She was such a vivid person. For her to disappear like that, just thin air where she was…”
Robin said nothing until Oonagh had wiped her face dry, then asked,
“What can you remember about arranging to meet on the eleventh?”
“She called me, asked to meet same place, same time. I said yes, o’ course. There was something funny in the way she said it. I said, ‘Everything all right?’ She said, ‘I need to ask your advice about something. I might be going mad. I shouldn’t really talk about it, but I t’ink you’re the only one I can trust.’”
Strike and Robin looked at each other.
“Was that not written down anywhere?”
“No,” said Strike.
“No,” said Oonagh, and for the first time she looked angry. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised.”
“Why not?” asked Robin.
“Talbot was away with the fairies,” said Oonagh. “I could see it in the first five minutes of my interview. I called Roy, I said, ‘That man isn’t right. Complain, tell them you want someone else on the case.’ He didn’t, or if he did, nothing was done.
“And Lawson t’ought I was some silly little Bunny Girl,” said Oonagh. “Probably t’ought I was tellin’ fibs, trying to make myself interesting off the back of my best friend disappearing. Margot Bamborough was more like a sister than a friend to me,” said Oonagh fiercely, “and the on’y person I’ve ever really talked to about her is my husband. I cried all over him, two days before we got married, because she should’ve been there. She should’ve been my matron of honor.”
“Have you got any idea what she was going to ask your advice about?” asked Robin.
“No,” said Oonagh. “I’ve t’ought about it often since, whether it could have had anything to do with what happened. Something about Roy, perhaps, but then why would she say she shouldn’t talk about it? We’d already talked about Roy. I’d told her as plain as I could, the last time we met, she could come and live with me if she left, Anna as well.
“Then I t’ought, maybe it’s something a patient has told her, because like I said, she was scrupulous about confidentiality.
“Anyway, I walked up that hill in the rain to the pub on the eleventh. I was early, so I went to have a look at that church there, over the road, big—”
“Wait,” said Strike sharply. “What kind of coat were you wearing?”
Oonagh didn’t seem surprised by the question. On the contrary, she smiled.
“You’re t’inking of the old gravedigger, or whoever he was? The one who t’ought he saw Margot going in there? I told them at the time it was me,” said Oonagh. “I wasn’t wearing a raincoat, but it was beige. My hair was darker than Margot’s, but it was the same kind of length. I told them, when they asked me, did I think Margot might’ve gone into the church before meeting me—I said, no, she hated church. I went there! That was me!”
“Why?” asked Strike. “Why did you go in there?”
“I was being called,” said Oonagh simply.
Robin repressed a smile, because Strike looked almost embarrassed at the answer.
“God was calling me back,” said Oonagh. “I kept going into Anglican churches, t’inking, is this the answer? There was so much about the Catholics I couldn’t take, but still, I could feel the pull back toward Him.”
“How long d’you think you were in the church?” asked Robin, to give Strike time to recover himself.
“Five minutes or so. I said a little prayer. I was asking for guidance. Then I walked out again, crossed the road and went into the pub.
“I waited nearly the full hour before I called Roy. At first I t’ought, she’s been delayed by a patient. Then I t’ought, no, she must’ve forgotten. But when I called the house, Roy said she wasn’t there. He was quite short with me. I wondered whether somethin’ more had happened between them. Maybe Margot had snapped. Maybe I was going to get home and find her on the doorstep with Anna. So I went dashin’ home, but she
wasn’t there.
“Roy called at nine to see whether I’d had any contact. That’s when I started to get really worried. He said he was going to call the police.
“You’ll know the rest,” said Oonagh quietly. “It was like a nightmare. You put all your hopes on t’ings that are less and less likely. Amnesia. Knocked down by a car and unconscious somewhere. She’s run away somewhere to t’ink.
“But I knew, really. She’d never’ve left her baby girl, and she’d never have left without telling me. I knew she was dead. I could tell the police t’ought it was the Essex Butcher, but me…”
“But you?” prompted Robin gently.
“Well, I kept t’inking, t’ree weeks after Paul Satchwell comes back into her life, she vanishes forever. I know he had his little alibi, all his arty friends backing him up. I said to Talbot and Lawson: ask him about the pillow dream. Ask him what that means, the pillow dream he was so frightened Margot would tell people about.
“Is that in the police notes?” she asked Strike, turning to look at him. “Did either of them ask Satchwell about the pillow dream?”
“No,” said Strike slowly. “I don’t think they did.”
25
All those were idle thoughtes and fantasies,
Deuices, dreames, opinions vnsound,
Shewes, visions, sooth-sayes, and prophesies;
And all that fained is, as leasings, tales, and lies.
Edmund Spenser
The Faerie Queene
Three evenings later, Strike was to be found sitting in his BMW outside a nondescript terraced house in Stoke Newington. The Shifty investigation, now in its fifth month, had so far yielded no results. The restive trustees who suspected that their CEO was being blackmailed by the ambitious Shifty were making ominous noises of discontent, and were clearly considering taking their business elsewhere.
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