by Dee, Cara
“Whatever.” Gray capped the water bottle and threw it to the side. “Come at me, you old fuck.”
As tired as he was, the training with Darius had given Gray a lot of motivation to keep going. More than that, he’d started really listening to Darius, and he could control his temper better these days. It also helped that his physical strength was slowly returning.
But the thing that’d helped the most was realizing he wasn’t competing against Darius. He was competing against himself. It was about being better today than yesterday, because if he focused on the wrong thing—if he focused on defeating Darius—Gray would always lose. Which wasn’t a way of surrendering or saying he could never get stronger than Darius, but the dude had twenty years of solid, heavy-duty experience on Gray.
Keep your guard up. Never lower your guard.
Darius’s instructions from the past two days went on a loop as they began. Gray kept himself light and quick on his feet—his biggest skill from his hockey days. He’d always been fast and agile, and he refused to lose it. When Darius aimed for Gray’s shoulder, Gray swung sideways and returned with an uppercut.
“Good,” Darius grunted. “But remember—” He grabbed on to Gray’s elbow, twisted it upward and sideways, then delivered a light punch to his ribs.
Gray cursed as the pain spread.
“Don’t waste energy on blows that won’t incapacitate your attacker,” Darius reminded. “They’ll only leave you vulnerable.”
Right. The enemy wasn’t watching until you made a mistake, or however the saying went.
Taking a deep breath, Gray concentrated on Darius’s weak spots. Throat, eyes, nose, crotch, stomach… He flew forward, punched Darius in the gut, then quickly moved behind him and threw out his fist to the back of Darius’s head.
“Better,” Darius coughed. “Jesus, kid.”
Gray smirked.
It went without saying that Darius got the upper hand almost every time, but it felt great to catch him by surprise even once. And when it’d happened a second and a third and a fourth time, the ball was rolling.
After their workout, when they were showered and dressed—and goddamn starving—they went upstairs and trailed into the large kitchen to make a late lunch.
One of the counters was all stainless steel and long enough to serve a buffet on, and for the past two days, it was where Darius had baked bread. Another thing Gray had learned. The man didn’t buy bread at the store. He bought flour and yeast.
It was endearing as hell. And, frankly, sexy. There was no finesse to it, and yet he looked like a pro. No recipe needed, apparently. Water, yeast, salt, olive oil, flour. Then kneading…
Shit. Gray almost burned the omelet he was working on.
The bread wasn’t for now. Once Darius had prepared the dough, he dropped it in a large bowl and covered it with a damp towel. It would rise for a few hours before it was time to start dinner, at which point he’d cut the dough in two and shape them into loaves. He’d do all that without really paying attention, because that was when Jayden sat on the counter next to him and Darius quizzed him about geography and math.
“Shit!” Okay, now Gray had definitely burned the omelet. Dammit all. He winced and plated the piece of charcoal.
“Need any help?” Darius asked.
“No, I need a new brain,” Gray muttered. Walking over to the fridge, he hoped they still had some eggs left. “The one I have now is busy cataloguing every move you make.”
Darius chuckled and went over to wash his hands.
Thankfully, there were six eggs left. The third shelf in the fridge was all theirs, and they’d stocked it with chicken, eggs, milk, vegetables, ground beef, and cheese. Darius had been in charge at the store, though Gray was the one who’d made sure they got enough greens. That didn’t seem to be as important to Darius.
Gray finished the mixture to a new omelet and poured it into the sizzling pan.
“We should think about heading off soon,” Darius said.
“I know.” Gray didn’t wanna think about it, though. He liked it here.
Okay, it was weird with Leah sometimes. She seemed to carry a torch for Darius, who was completely oblivious, leaving it up to Gray to be subtle about them. Other than that… Leah kept her distance too, maybe because she wouldn’t be getting the reunion she’d hoped for, but also because she worked a shitload. She and one other employee ran around preparing for the spring, when more guests would show up. There was a lot of snow to clear too. Both Darius and Gray had helped her yesterday.
It was how this place was run. The cost of staying wasn’t pricier than an average roadside motel, but you helped out and pulled your weight when you had the chance.
Darius walked over to stand behind him, and he dropped his chin to Gray’s shoulder.
Rivers of contentment flowed through Gray. He wanted to close his eyes and just enjoy Darius’s strong arms around him—but he didn’t wanna burn another omelet.
“You should stay with me for a while when we get back to Camassia.” Darius pressed a kiss to Gray’s neck. “It’d get you away from the town centers, and we could continue your training. Some target practice, some fightin’… You could teach me how to grow tomatoes.”
Gray felt his face split with a grin, and he tilted his head back. “Really?”
“Really.” Darius kissed his mouth. “You and me in the woods.”
Holy crap, the mere idea… Gray couldn’t think of any place he’d rather be if he had to go back to Camassia. “It’s still too early to grow tomatoes.”
Darius smirked into another kiss. “Depends how long you stay.”
Jesus. He was dangerous. He couldn’t say those things. Gray cleared his throat and faced forward again, flipping the omelet before he ruined this one too. “Count me in. I’ve never visited a proper homestead before.”
He’d meant it as sort of a joke to lighten the tension. Maybe only he felt it, which wouldn’t be awesome. He couldn’t fall for Darius. It was too soon, and the goals and dreams Gray had once had definitely didn’t match with what Darius wanted.
“Can you go get Jayden?” he asked. “Food’s ready. I’m just gonna reheat the chicken.”
“Sure.”
They were back in the kitchen around six.
Jayden was sitting on the counter next to Darius’s workstation, and he was FaceTiming with Father O’Malley. The boy was rambling a mile a minute about everything they’d done and all the cool things he’d seen.
Gray didn’t have much to do. The ground beef was seasoned for their tacos, the vegetables were chopped and sliced, and the cheese had been shredded. So, he watched Jayden—and Darius—and realized something. In his quest to make sure he didn’t fall head over heels in love with Darius, he’d kinda fallen for the boy. Jayden’s cocky grins and goofy smiles had become essential to Gray’s well-being. And he loved taking care of the kid. He loved being there for him, sharing new experiences, teaching him things…
Handing him over to Adeline was going to be rough.
“No, we didn’t,” Jayden answered, “but we saw the tracks, Malley! Right, Darius? Didn’t we see bear tracks?”
“We did,” Darius chuckled. He’d just placed the two loaves of bread on a tray to go into the oven.
Gray eyed his own phone on the counter where he’d chopped vegetables, and he chewed on the inside of his cheek.
He’d run out of excuses for not reaching out to Mom.
He picked up his phone and hesitated. He’d unblocked all numbers a while ago, and he had to give Mom credit. The few times he’d texted her, she’d only responded with a single message in return. She understood that he couldn’t handle more.
He went with mildly sugarcoated honesty.
Hey. Just wanted to give you an update. I’m feeling a bit better, and we’ll be heading toward Camassia soon. We’re in Colorado right now. Darius has been great to me, and Jayden is amazing. You’ll like him. I’m sorry about keeping my distance, but it really has helped. I l
ove you all, and I miss you.
He pressed send as Jayden finished his call with Father O’Malley.
A beat later, Leah walked into the kitchen with a polite smile and asked to speak to Darius when he had a minute.
“I have a minute now,” Darius replied. “Lemme just get these in the oven.”
Gray side-eyed Leah before he walked over to Jayden.
“What do you think about a movie night?” He leaned his hip against the counter and threaded his fingers through Jayden’s hair. It’d become their thing. The boy wasn’t too familiar with hugs yet, and this was a way for Gray to be able to show affection without earning himself too many strange looks.
“Yeah…” Jayden closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He did like having his hair played with. And his scalp scratched. “Can you and me pick a movie this time?” he asked. “Darius only likes old stuff.”
Gray grinned.
Too bad Darius had already left the kitchen. That one was funny. His taste in movies had proved to be no surprise whatsoever, unlike his skills in the kitchen. Because it was all about war, history, Westerns, and true crime.
“We’ll pick a funny one,” Gray answered as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and expected to see Mom’s reply, but it wasn’t. It was from Cole.
Hey, man. Sorry I didn’t respond until now. I had to unplug for a while. I’m heading out with my pop tomorrow again. We’re gonna deliver horses to another ranch. It sucks that I missed you when you were in my neck of the woods, though. Hope we can catch up soon. I talked to Tai and Oscar this morning, btw. They’re doing ok. Give Darius my best. –Cole
Gray exhaled in relief, happy about the update.
“If we bring the food to the cabin, we can watch the movie while we eat,” Jayden reasoned.
“Then we’d have to bring the dishes back and forth,” Gray chuckled. “We’ll eat here. Darius has to keep an eye on the bread anyway.” Speaking of, Gray should heat the tortillas too.
“Can we at least eat here and not out there?” Jayden pointed in the general direction of the seating area with the fireplace. “Leah is out there all the time.”
Gray furrowed his brow and lowered his hand from Jayden’s hair. “Don’t you like her?”
Jayden shrugged and rubbed his nose. “She asks a lot of questions about you and Darius.”
Oh, really… “Like what?”
“If you’re boyfriends and stuff.” Jayden opened his phone and flipped between his game apps. “I said fuck if I know, but you kiss sometimes, and then she said I shouldn’t cuss, so I said goddammit.”
Oh my God. Gray pinched his lips together to keep from laughing. The boy was too much sometimes—in the best ways.
“Jonas had boyfriends,” Jayden went on frankly. “They weren’t fun like Darius. Darius teaches me how to use my knives better, and he’s good at everything.”
Gray couldn’t help but smile at that. Maybe Darius had never been interested in starting a family, but he was a natural with Jayden and, from what he’d heard, with his nieces.
“He’s pretty awesome,” he agreed. “You do curse too much, though.”
Jayden glanced up at him and widened his eyes. “Fuck?”
Gray snorted and shook his head, and he had an idea. “Here’s what we’ll do. From now on, I promise to give you five dollars as an allowance every week. But every time you curse, I’ll deduct a quarter. So, if you curse once, I’ll take away twenty-five cents from those five dollars.”
That made Jayden think hard. He pursed his lips and put aside his phone. “Two curses is fifty cents, four curse words is a dollar.”
Gray inclined his head.
“I need a list of curses I can’t say,” Jayden said hesitantly. “Sister Margaret said damn is a curse. And I couldn’t say crap or yell Jesus Christ.”
“Oh—I’m not that strict,” Gray promised with a chuckle. “I also know it’s difficult to change a habit, so if I notice that you’re trying hard but a curse sometimes slips out, it’s fine. But you can start by removing all the fucks, shits, motherfuckers, and goddammits.”
“Okay.” Jayden nodded slowly, thoughtful. “What about dickweeb and pussy?”
Gray cringed and palmed his face. “Definitely not those, sweetheart. Christ.”
Jayden giggled. “What about—”
“Probably not.” Gray let out a laugh but decided it was time to not let him take this any further. “You’re a smart boy. I think you know that those words aren’t okay—and absolutely not for someone your age.”
“Yeah, but your face is funny.”
Gray shot him a playful scowl. “Careful, kid. I do have limits.”
Jayden’s beautiful eyes danced with mirth, and he slapped a hand over his mouth. “I’ll do my best.”
“Good—”
“Hey, let’s eat at the cabin.” That was Darius. He’d returned, and he wasn’t looking happy. He strode over to the oven and checked the bread, which couldn’t be anywhere near done.
“What’s wrong?” Gray asked.
Darius shook his head and grabbed two plastic containers from a cupboard. “We can talk about it later. But I checked us out for tomorrow. We leave at first light.”
As Gray watched the food getting the brunt of Darius’s anger, he rushed over and decided he could get answers later. “Here, hon. Let me do that. I’ll grab the food and wait for the bread. Jayden can help me. You can go out to the cabin.” And calm down.
Darius’s jaw ticked with tension. His hands were balled into fists along his sides, and when he unclenched them, they trembled.
“I mean it,” Darius gritted under his breath. “We leave tomorrow.”
“Okay. We leave tomorrow.” Gray put a hand on Darius’s arm. “I’ll pack the rest of our food too, all right? And I’ll make sure we didn’t forget anything downstairs.”
Darius dipped his chin and drew in a breath through his nose. “Just like that?”
Gray’s gaze softened, and he slid his hand down to give Darius’s hand a squeeze. “I trust you with my life. I think I can save a discussion for when you’re ready.”
That seemed to work. Darius leaned in and pressed a firm kiss to Gray’s temple, and then he nodded once and walked out.
Gray exhaled heavily. Whatever had transpired between Darius and Leah hadn’t ended well, but before Gray got to the bottom of things, he’d be what Darius needed. It was the best way to carry his burden. Or share it. By trusting him and letting him lead.
By the time Gray and Jayden returned to the cabin with their arms full of food and leftover gear from the gym, Darius had retreated to the loft. A trail of wet footprints led from the bathroom to the stepladder near Jayden’s bed. Darius must’ve washed up using only the sink in their half bath.
Gray cranked up the entertainment for Jayden’s sake, and the two heated up dinner in the microwave and ate in bed. In front of them, they had Darius’s laptop and a funny movie playing.
Jayden was in high spirits once Gray had assured him Darius would feel better soon.
After the movie, Jayden was feeling chatty and had a million questions about Camassia, so Gray took him on a tour around the town through tales and trivia while he started packing their bags. Jayden seemed to struggle the most with the concept of Camassia’s different districts. He knew neighborhoods and bus zones but couldn’t grasp that you had to drive through a forest to get from Cedar Valley to Camas and Downtown.
“But they’re the same place?” Jayden questioned. “A forest in the city?”
Gray chuckled and set one of their bags by the door. Since they’d picked up a fair amount of clothes and other things, their number of bags had increased. “On a map, Camassia looks pretty big. The districts are spread out. Then each district has its own set of neighborhoods—like you have in Philadelphia. So, I guess you can say it’s five tiny towns that make up one bigger town. But we don’t have many people, not like you’re used to.”
“Cool,” Jayden replied,
sliding onto a chair at the table. “You said there are mountains, right? I like mountains.”
Gray smiled and gathered some of Jayden’s shirts to fold. “Plenty of mountains, plenty of forests, right by the water, beautiful waterfalls, nice beaches. I think you’ll like it.”
Jayden nodded slowly and fidgeted with his action figure. “And you live there,” he stated.
“I do.” Though, Gray didn’t quite know where at the moment. Mom had told him in Florida that, in order to make rent, the guys Gray had shared an apartment with near the college in the Valley had had to find another roommate. All his stuff had been moved to Mom and Aiden’s house in Ponderosa, which was pretty close to where Adeline’s facility was located. “I’m gonna crash at Darius’s house for a bit before I get my own place.” At least, that seemed like the most reasonable plan. He had to find a new job too… He used to work part time at a bookstore, which had been just enough to pay rent and utilities in the past. He’d need something more stable now.
Mom and Aiden had offered to pitch in with whatever he needed, but they’d already done too much.
School didn’t appeal anymore. Gray couldn’t imagine sitting down in a lecture hall with a bunch of students his own age.
Hmm. Maybe Gray could move in to the cottage behind Mom’s inn. He’d called it home before. Once Gage had gone off to college in Seattle, Mom hadn’t renewed the lease for the apartment they’d rented in the Valley at the time. She, Gray, Gabriel, and Gideon had instead crammed themselves into the tiny two-bedroom cottage. They’d spent a summer fixing it up. And once Mom met Aiden—or rather, after they got married and moved in to a big house up in Ponderosa—Aiden had used the cottage for work until his home office was ready. As far as Gray knew, the cottage stood empty now.
He shook the thoughts for the time being, although he acknowledged, with some relief, that the idea of rebuilding his life in Camassia didn’t seem as foreign anymore. Shit would look a lot different; his path had changed, but Camassia was still his home.
“Time to get ready for bed, buddy.” He smoothed down Jayden’s hair as he walked past to grab the last of their stuff. “You can leave your clothes in the plastic bag over there. It goes in the duffel with laundry.”