by Dee, Cara
He pressed send at the same time as they drove past the sign welcoming them to Ponderosa.
A beat later, Mom’s face lit up the screen.
“I should’ve known she was gonna call,” Gray answered and smiled ruefully. “Hey, Mom. Aren’t you busy?”
“Hi, sweetie! I am, but this is important,” she replied. “I’ll cut right to the chase. I spoke to Adeline last night—”
“Of course you did.” Gray rolled his eyes and got uncomfortable. She was gonna quiz him about Jayden now. He just knew it.
“Don’t interrupt me,” she sang. “She told me you’re very concerned about Jayden and that you wanna be there for him. And considering you already have a lot on your plate, Aiden and I decided that you shouldn’t work.”
“Wait, what?” Gray rubbed his forehead, trying to keep up.
“Well, you have to contact your therapist, honey,” Mom replied patiently. “The FBI agent assigned to you in Seattle would also like you to check in. You’re supposed to touch base once a week, remember? And then there’s us. Your family misses you, but we don’t want to put pressure on you. So, I figure, adding work to that will be too much. It’s better you focus on recovery, and when you feel like you should’ve worked a shift or something, you go see a family member instead. Go see the babies! Have coffee with Gage. Reconnect with Gid and Gabriel at the rink—you get what I’m saying.”
Gray was beginning to, at least. It was still a lot to process.
“Without an income—”
“You have the card Aiden gave you,” Mom pointed out. “You can argue if you want, but you have to take it up with him.”
Jesus Christ, he didn’t deserve his family. “I can charm Aiden into seeing my side of things,” Gray said, unsure if he actually believed it. Darius didn’t seem to. He chuckled next to Gray. “I don’t wanna be a liability.”
“First of all,” Mom said, “I’m pretty sure my charm on him works better. And second of all, say you’re a liability one more time, and I’ll tan your fucking hide. Are we clear, son?”
Shit. Gray straightened in his seat automatically. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Good,” she responded firmly. “Besides, this was Aiden’s idea.”
That kinda made sense. He knew she still struggled at times with how easily Aiden made financial issues go away. To him, money was nothing and family was everything. Mom would agree, but she’d never had to make the choice before because money had been scarce.
“We’ll give this a try a few months, at least,” she added. “Oh, and a quick question before I have to hang up.”
“Yes?”
“Would you have been able to work at the inn tomorrow night?”
Gray furrowed his brow. “Of course.”
“Perfect! Then you’re welcome to join us for dinner at seven. Don’t worry, the twins have practice, so it’ll be just the three of us.”
Holy shit, he’d walked right into that one. Gray had to admire Mom’s sneakiness. “I’ll be there,” he chuckled. “Love you.”
“Love you too, baby! I’ll text you the recipe when I get home.”
“Thanks.” He shook his head, in a daze, and ended the call.
“I heard most of that,” Darius noted, amused. “Good luck with my sisters, is all I’m gonna say.”
Great. Fucking great.
But Gray wasn’t gonna pretend to be upset. He was a lucky bastard, and he was done keeping his family on the sidelines. As long as he moved forward slowly and didn’t overwhelm himself, he wanted them all close. Including Darius and his family.
At ten on the dot, Jayden burst out of the facility and grinned widely. “You came!”
Gray matched it with his own grin and jogged over to him. “Of-fucking-course I did.” The cracks in his heart healed instantly when Jayden crashed into him. “Are you ready for our little adventure of the day?” He weaved his fingers through Jayden’s soft locks, and the boy nodded furiously. “Good. Get in the car, and I’ll grab your beanie. It’s freezing out here.” He spied Adeline at the door and wanted to hear how the first night had been.
He watched Jayden run to the car and greet Darius.
Darius grinned back. “Hey, buddy.”
Gray turned toward the house and trailed up the steps to Adeline. “Morning.”
“Good morning, hon.” Adeline smiled and extended Jayden’s beanie and mittens. “Everything’s gone well so far. He was a little quiet at first when you left, but after I spent most of our dinner talking about you, he felt better.”
Gray’s forehead creased. “Talking about me?”
She nodded slightly. “He has some abandonment issues—understandably. He reasoned to himself that this shelter was still better than the ones in Philadelphia. I sensed he was trying to see the silver lining in case you didn’t return.”
Ouch. That shit was gonna burn for a long time. Not the part where Jayden felt that way, but that Gray had to drop him off here and leave after every visit. It was gonna take time for Jayden to trust that Gray would always come back.
“He’s a sweet kid,” Adeline murmured. “And you’re wonderful for him, hon. Don’t doubt that.”
Gray tried to put a smile on his face. “I just hope the state will see that one day too.”
Adeline hummed and hugged herself, shivering a bit. The winds were picking up. “At least Washington is a progressive state. They’re pretty flexible these days, and the requirements aren’t too strict anymore. I don’t think you will have that many problems. It’ll just take time.”
“Really?” It was insane how quickly his pulse skyrocketed. He’d thought it was going to be virtually impossible to adopt.
“Oh yeah.” Adeline smiled curiously. “This is what you really want, right? You want to be his parent?”
Heat bled across Gray’s cheeks, because the feeling was still weird and crazy. Plus, he was talking to his best friend’s mother about it. “Yes,” he managed to say.
“Then we’ll make that happen,” Adeline replied with a nod. “You focus on getting back on your feet, and then we’ll get you approved as a foster parent. It’ll be the easiest route for you. And don’t worry about any outsiders. I have a great working relationship with the two social workers who handle the cases of any children coming through these doors.” She paused, hesitating. “His biological parents are dead, right?”
“I think so—I’m not a hundred percent, though.” Gray knew that would be the biggest obstacle. “I’m not sure if Jayden knows either. His brother left with him…”
Adeline nodded in understanding. “I’ll figure it out. It won’t take much digging.”
Yeah, the woman was definitely getting flowers today. And by flowers, Gray meant things he could donate to the shelter. It was the kind of present Adeline always preferred.
“Thank you—and…thank you for not telling Mom just how serious I am about Jayden yet.”
She chuckled and patted his arm. “That’s your story to tell, but I’m sure she’ll be happy once she’s gone through the ten stages of worry.” She nodded at the parking lot. “I think someone’s impatient to leave.”
Gray looked toward the car and smirked when he saw Jayden waving for him to come.
“We’ll be back this afternoon,” he said.
“Sounds good. You boys have fun.”
The risk of running into someone Gray knew at Target at this hour was close to nil; however, running into a former classmate’s mother was practically a given. So Gray yanked up his hood before he entered the big store with Jayden and Darius in tow.
This type of store beat malls any day of the week. Everything you needed in one place, plus more, and then you were done and could go home.
“Hop in, skipper.” Gray grabbed one of the signature red carts and grinned as Jayden lit up and climbed in. “You need clothes.”
“I really don’t,” he huffed.
Perhaps not if you were used to one or two sets of outfits, but those days were over.
D
arius was a trooper. He trailed along and didn’t complain, even though it was evident he’d rather be anywhere but there. He spent some time on his phone too. He talked to his parents while Gray helped Jayden find pants, and he texted with someone while Gray tossed underwear, socks, and T-shirts into the cart. Of course, he aimed right at the boy and earned a laugh every time a pair of underwear landed on his head.
Gray was learning to filter things out. Only the aisle he was in existed, and right now, it was the clearance section. The rest of the store wasn’t there. It helped keep him calm.
“This won’t fit.” Jayden held up a T-shirt with the NASA logo.
“I’m hoping it will fit your new roommate,” Gray explained. “Can you tell me about Justin?”
Jayden shrugged and struggled out his jacket. “He’s quiet and goes to bed early. I don’t know. He doesn’t like the dark, I think. Luis came in to say goodnight, and Justin sat at the desk drawing, but he ran to bed so fast. When I looked down at his bunk, he had the covers up here.” He gestured to his eyes.
Gray hummed and eyed a blue pajama set with little astronauts on it. “Do you think this will fit him?”
“I don’t know? Maybe. He’s small.”
Well, it was seven bucks. If it didn’t fit Justin, it would fit someone else sooner or later, so Gray grabbed two sets in different sizes.
Then he remembered the list Adeline had sent him and checked his phone. Oh, thank fuck. She’d included his sizes. That made shit a lot easier.
“Are we done with clothes now?” Jayden asked hopefully.
Gray chuckled. “We are.” He looked up at the signs along the aisles. “I think a night-light would be good for Justin. I had one when I was little.”
Darius came up behind him and pressed a kiss to his temple. “I’m just gonna step out for a minute and call Charlie’s mother. He’s in the hospital.”
Worry shot through Gray, and he widened his eyes. The last thing Gray needed was to hear about another friend’s death or something. Charlie had to be okay, goddammit. They’d lost too many innocent young men.
“Yeah, go call her. Fuck.”
While Darius walked out, Gray tried to act like he wasn’t on the verge of panic. His hands felt clammy all of a sudden, and breathing was a chore. But he managed to push through and throw things into the cart on autopilot. He had to do something. Everyone who’d come back alive had scattered after Florida, and Gray didn’t like it. Perhaps he could arrange a group chat for everyone so they could stay in touch and support one another.
They found a night-light for Justin. One of those with an adhesive on the back that you just stuck to the wall above your bed and pushed in when you wanted more light.
It took about ten minutes for Darius to come back, and by then, Gray and Jayden had made it to the crafts for kids.
“Are you ready to test your math skills, buddy?” Gray picked Jayden up from the cart and set him down. “See these boxes of crayons?”
Jayden nodded and eyed the crayons on the bottom shelf.
“I want you to pick boxes for a total of twenty-five dollars.” Gray bent down and grabbed one box. “It doesn’t have to be exact. Don’t worry about the cents.”
“Okay, I think I got it.” Jayden squatted down on the floor and picked three boxes, then started counting on his fingers. It was too cute for words. And it would keep him occupied for a bit.
Gray joined Darius a few feet away.
“He’s all right for now,” Darius said quietly, much to Gray’s relief. Thank God. “He goes from nightmares to flashbacks, where he thinks he’s still got the GPS tracker embedded in his neck. So he wakes himself up clawing at his neck, trying to dig it out. Apparently yesterday, he’d woken up with blood everywhere.”
“Jesus.” Gray’s stomach churned with unease. “Is there anything we can do? I thought I could reach out to them and suggest a group chat, but I don’t know if it’s enough.”
“Group chat sounds good,” he replied with a nod. “Charlie will be fine, I reckon. He wears his grief on his sleeve and goes to therapy every day. He’s not hiding anything, and he’s close with his family.”
That was good to hear, at least.
Gray glanced over at Jayden, who was juggling a stack of seven or eight boxes of crayons while using his free hand to count.
“I shouldn’t be surprised you’re keeping track of everyone,” he murmured.
Darius rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m just texting their folks.”
There was no “just” about that.
Gray leaned up for a quick kiss, but Darius held him there. He palmed Gray’s cheek and kissed him slowly.
“I’m looking forward to tonight.” Darius ended the kiss with one, two, three soft pecks. “You, me, good food, and a movie.”
Gray blinked and nodded dumbly, a shiver traveling down his spine.
“I think I’m done!” Jayden declared.
Gray was fairly sure he was done too.
Fifteen
Gray was by no means comfortable with the routine he established in the following weeks, but it would have to do for now. Mom had been right; adding work to all this would’ve been too much. He reached his limit for being around people very quickly, and thanks to Darius’s support—and constant reminders—he didn’t hide his discomfort anymore. If he had dinner with his family, he often excused himself after an hour or two.
He was really only at ease when he was with Darius and Jayden.
At ten every morning, Gray picked up the boy from outside Adeline’s facility, and then—for the most part—they went back to Westslope and Darius’s cabin.
Jayden fucking loved it there. He could run around with his action figures and explore the property.
They were getting an extra-long day together today, because tomorrow would be the first time they didn’t see each other at all. Willow was getting close in her search; in fact, she’d already pinned down the buyer’s name and address. But as Darius had pointed out, people who led double lives didn’t have just one home. And Willow had determined that the penthouse in downtown LA where the son of a bitch lived was unlikely to be the place he’d taken Jackie.
Either way, Darius and Gray were heading out into the wilderness tomorrow. One professional was gonna stage a rescue operation for a newbie. Gray would be in charge so Darius could evaluate.
They’d timed their little outing so Jayden wouldn’t get too worried. He’d be busy with Adeline and many of the others at the facility, who were going on a field trip to the aquarium in Seattle.
“Can I FaceTime Malley when we get to the cabin?” Jayden asked.
“Of course, buddy. I bet he’ll be happy to hear from you.” Gray turned onto the bridge and crossed the river. “Did the girls like your gifts yesterday?”
They’d done another run to Target to buy Jayden some rain boots he needed, and he’d asked if he could buy Justin a small action figure with his own money. Gray had kind of melted, so he’d bought some toys for both boys. And then he’d told Jayden to find something for the girls too, which had resulted in two sparkly pen cases and glitter glue.
“Yeah! They put that shit everywhere,” Jayden replied, laughing. “Anna had glitter in her hair at breakfast.”
Gray smirked wryly and pinched Jayden’s side playfully. “That’s fun to hear, but I believe that’s a quarter off your next allowance.”
“Oh, f—” Jayden slapped a hand over his mouth.
Gray shook his head in amusement and drove farther into the forest.
Tonight, when he dropped Jayden off again, he hoped to see the other three children. Since Gray and Darius always waited outside, they’d only spotted Justin and the girls in passing a couple times. But Gray would venture to call the other kids Jayden’s friends now, so he wanted to at least meet them properly. Obviously under the ruse of bringing baked goods to the night personnel.
“I thought we could make more cinnamon rolls today,” Gray said.
They were Darius�
�s current obsession, and he could go through a whole batch of them in a single weekend.
Good thing Mom’s recipe was awesome.
“Again?” Jayden huffed and swung his legs against the seat, unable to sit still.
Gray chuckled. “We can bake something else too.”
To be honest, he loved his new role at Darius’s place. They were equals and worked together like a well-oiled machine. When Darius made bread in the morning, Gray prepared eggs and coffee. Then they sat down and talked throughout breakfast about the plans for the day—from training and chores around the house, to appointments and errands. Recently, it involved work for Darius too. And while he was at the restaurant, Gray checked things off his to-do list so they could have dinner as soon as Darius came home.
Tonight would be his first late shift, and Gray and Jayden would come down there for dinner.
Gray was equal parts anxious and excited about it. Quinn’s Fish Camp was a popular place, Abel had told him when they’d talked the other day. There would be a lot of people. But Gray didn’t want to miss it, and Jayden had talked about it all week.
“Can I play with Darius first?” Jayden asked. “He’s gonna teach me how to throw knives.”
Of course he was. “Sure.” That was perfectly normal when you were eight years old. Well, to Darius, it probably was. Gray hadn’t been quite as outdoorsy growing up.
It was a good thing Darius had thought about removing Jayden’s knives from his backpack, though. Gray sure as hell hadn’t remembered—until he’d seen the knives on the living room table in the cabin. Darius had cleaned and sharpened them for the kid. He’d also rounded the tips, which Gray thought was brilliant.
Gray had just taken the cinnamon rolls out of the oven when he heard a short, terrified scream coming from outside. His heart jumped up into his throat as he bolted out of the kitchen and toward the entryway, where he tore open the door and ran out barefoot.
The first thing he saw was Darius carrying a crying Jayden toward the cabin with brisk steps and a grim expression.
“What happened?” Gray jogged down the steps, ignoring the cold mud he landed in, and closed the distance.