Never Stay Past Midnight

by Mira Lyn Kelly

  Levi shot her a questioning glance.

  “About my family being so great. You said they sounded perfect, and I told you they were because that’s how it used to be. And sometimes, maybe, I’d just rather pretend it still was.”

  Levi watched the road. Taking in her admission and turning it around in his head. Knowing this was the opportunity to come clean himself. Ease her conscience by telling her about his own past.

  Instead, he said, “You don’t need to apologize, Elise. You don’t owe me anything you aren’t comfortable sharing. But for the record, if you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.”

  Her lips pressed into a flat line as she nodded too quickly, blinking back tears.

  “It’s just hard for me to talk about. Hard to deal with. But at least if I’m the only one dealing with it, then when I don’t want to think about it—when I want to pretend it’s like it always was, I can. If you don’t know what’s happening, then you won’t ask me what kind of day my dad is having. What the latest news is on his medication. If he’s getting worse.” She swallowed, and closed her eyes a second before snapping them back open and scanning the streets.

  Levi slowed the car, giving her time to reassure herself she hadn’t missed anything. Settling back into her seat, she went on. “Sometimes I just need to forget—be someone without all the worries.”

  Someone without all the worries.

  He understood the need to be someone else for a while. To take a break from the problems. But he also understood something else. “This is why you can’t come with me. Why leaving town, even for a few months, isn’t an option.”

  “And why the studio is so important. It’s not just for me.”

  No, he’d imagined it wouldn’t be. “What are you thinking?”

  “That my mom’s spent the last six years at home taking care of my dad. Giving up a little more of herself each year, because she wouldn’t consider giving up the time she had left with him. Didn’t want to risk speeding up the progression of the disease with a change in surroundings or by bringing in unfamiliar faces. She just kept telling us she could handle it. Refusing to even consider that Dad might be at a point where he needs more help than she can give him. But after this—something has to change. And she’s going to need something to do. A place to go, to start rebuilding a life that doesn’t revolve around someone who mostly doesn’t know who she is anymore.”

  He got it. “And you’re going to be ready. With a place for her to come.”

  “She needs to be around people again. Get out of that house for more than a trip to the doctor’s office. The studio would be a base where she could spend some time with me. If she wanted to work, she could help out with the child care or handle the front retail area. I just want her to have options. I want to give her something she can count on.”

  Because Elise knew what it was to feel as if her options were gone. To suddenly have everything she’d counted on taken away. Levi’s fists clenched over the wheel.

  Yeah, now he got it, all right.

  He hated that she had to go through this. But at least she wasn’t alone now. He’d stay with her, searching, for as long as she needed him to.

  Reaching over, he slipped his hand beneath the tumble of silky curls at Elise’s neck. “We’ll find him.” He just hoped to hell it was the truth.

  Twenty minutes later, the phone chimed to life, the screen illuminating behind the white-knuckled grasp of Elise’s fingers.

  Slowing at a deserted intersection, he waited as she quickly connected the call.

  “What’s going on?” she asked, still scanning the sidewalks. And then her head dropped forward, her free hand covering her face, and something wrenched deep inside his chest.

  “Thank God. Where?… I can be there in—… Are you sure?… Okay, I’ll see you then.”

  Disconnecting, she turned to him, eyes shimmering bright.

  “He’s okay?” he asked.

  She nodded, her throat moving up and down in the exaggerated way it did with the buildup of too much emotion.

  “Yes. David and Ally found him down by this restaurant we used to go to when we were kids. He’s fine. Tired and worn-out—which may have been a good thing in getting him into the car…” Her voice trailed off, and she looked out the window into the darkness of night. “But he wasn’t hurt.”

  “Do you want to meet them over at your parents’ house? Is that where they’re going?”

  “It is, but they don’t want me to come. David’s going to stay the night and then in the morning I’ll go over and we’ll meet with his doctor. Talk about options.” Leaning back into the seat, shoulders sagging with relief, she closed her eyes. “Could you just take me home?”

  She looked fragile in the seat beside him. At that moment, all he wanted to do was pull her into his lap and hold her against his chest. Promise her all kinds of nonsense about how everything would be okay. Only it would be a lie, one that neither of them could buy into. Levi didn’t have a wealth of information about Alzheimer’s, but he knew well enough what it was like to live with a disease that couldn’t be cured.

  His mother’s alcoholism. At times she was recovering, but the disease itself would never go away.

  Shifting uneasily in his seat, he tried to push the thoughts of his mother away. Only the parallel was too easy to draw, especially as his mother was currently unaccounted for. In Levi’s case, however, there wasn’t anything remarkable about that. She dropped off the grid most every time one of her short-lived bouts of sobriety splashed to an end.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  BACK at her apartment, Elise dug into her pocket for her keys. Still shaken by the events of the night and particularly the rushed call from her sister when she’d gotten their father back to the house, she dropped them on the floor, then nearly stumbled trying to pick them up before Levi stepped in to retrieve them for her. Without a word he opened the door and, palm low at her back, guided her inside.

  Taking her hand in his, he studied her face—brushed his thumb beneath her eye. “You’re exhausted. Let’s go to bed, honey.”

  She peered up at him, and suddenly it was all more than she could bear. All the emotion she’d been fighting to control, all the doubts and fears and needs and wants. Everything burst free in a choked sob too great to contain.

  Her hands flew to her face and she tried to turn away, tried to hide, but Levi’s hands were on her shoulders, pulling her back into his arms. “It’s okay, Elise. You can cry, sweetheart.”

  And she did. She wanted to stop, but the strength of those arms around her were too much to resist. Levi was solid and warm. Capable. And he didn’t back down or back away beneath the barrage of her tears. Instead he gathered her closer—one hand cupping the back of her head while his other arm banded across her body. Soothing her with that gruff, low voice she hadn’t known could be so tender. “Shh. I’ve got you.”

  Her forehead pressed against his chest, finding the center shallow that seemed made just for her. “He hasn’t recognized me for months. Every time I see him, he’s slipped further away. I barely recognize him as the man who raised me and—Levi, when they got home, my mom had a black eye. He’d gotten so agitated this afternoon—she said she couldn’t calm him down and it was just an accident, but…”

  Levi’s hand stilled where it was, his whole body seeming to tense around her. And then his arms slipped tighter, holding her more securely than she could ever remember being held. “Has that happened before?”

  She shook her head. “My dad? Never.” Her throat constricted. “He wouldn’t raise a hand to any of us. Which makes it all the worse. This disease has stolen him from us. From me. Taken the constant he’s always been and turned it into something else.”

  “No. What your father’s been to you isn’t something that can be taken away. Your dad may not have the ability to remember it, but you will. He’ll always be with you. A part of you. That relationship is the foundation of who you are. No matter how you build on it, that
love is always going to be there. Even when he can’t be anymore.”

  Fingers smoothing the fabric of his shirt, she whispered the only words she could manage. “Thank you.”

  Levi held her a minute longer, then ducked down to catch her behind her knees.

  Cradled in his arms as he carried her back to her bedroom, she peered up at him. “You don’t have to do this.”

  “You’re light. I’m strong. It works,” he offered, deliberately misunderstanding her.

  “I’m a mess. You don’t have to stay.”

  Levi’s chest rose and fell on each breath. His heart hammering a steady rhythm beneath her ear.

  “Yeah, I do.” He hit the hall lights before turning into her room.

  “I’d be okay.”

  “I wouldn’t be.” Levi sat on her bed, his back against the headboard, legs outstretched, arms holding her against him. “I’d worry, wondering if you’d been able to sleep. I’d spend the night thinking about how much better it would have been if I were holding you instead. For now, just let me take care of you.”

  Her throat tightened around a well of emotion she didn’t want to try to name and she nodded against him. In that moment, she realized he was everything she’d been telling herself she wasn’t ready to have. He was kindness and understanding. Humor and support. Tender strength and unfailing generosity. The kind of man who would be there for her—if he weren’t leaving in less than a month’s time.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  AS DAYS of the week went, Sundays were a long-standing favorite with their slow pace and quiet vibe. Elise worked most of them, usually covering four classes split between two studios catering to the morning crowds, but by noon she was free and clear, and today she couldn’t wait to get home.

  When she’d left at six, Levi was still in bed—all naked, stubble rough, and sound asleep—and, more than anything, she’d wanted to crawl back under the sheet and close her eyes. Let the strong arms that had held her through the night close around her again, and give into the bliss of Levi in her bed. Only as tempting as that enormous masculine body was sprawled across the too small expanse of her bed, she knew better than to risk getting within arm’s reach. A semiconscious Levi, intent on getting her body tucked back against his own, was not as receptive to reasoning about work commitments as she might need him to be.

  On her first attempted break from her bed that morning he’d offered to write a note excusing her from class. When she’d mentioned a note wouldn’t get her paid, he offered to cut her a check. For a thousand bucks.

  Rounding the corner, her smile spread wide and her pace picked up as she remembered the sound of that low growl of satisfaction when he buried his nose in the curve of her neck. Somehow—even with the emotional turmoil of moving her father into a special care facility this week, the hours of paperwork, and nerves running rampant through her family—Levi had kept her sane. Reminded her that she could smile. Shown her she wasn’t alone.

  A flash of white caught her eye and Elise squinted down to the far end of the block. To Levi, walking her way with what looked like a paper and pastry bag in one arm and a drink tray with two coffees in the other. She wanted to blame the acceleration of her heart on her hastening steps to meet him, but it wasn’t true. More and more, it was just Levi. Doing things to the center of her chest with his grin, the strength of his arms around her, that look he gave her when she caught him off guard. His candid talk about business strategy, that easy laugh, and the way he made her feel so intensely wanted by somehow finding a way to touch her nearly every minute they were together.

  Levi pressed a quick kiss to her lips and held his bounty up for display. “Hey, beautiful.”

  The way he said that pushed her belly into another round of acrobatics. “You got food?”

  Levi dug into the bag with a nod. “Doughnuts. From the place you like. Let’s sit in the park.”

  Elise nodded, always fond of Printer’s Row Park and the small fountain there.

  Seated on a bench, he passed her a chocolate-glazed doughnut, napkin, and coffee, then asked about her classes. “Mrs Fitz there this morning?”

  Coffee halfway to her mouth, Elise paused. She’d told him about the sixty-eight-year-old eccentric—with form and strength that put hers to shame—weeks ago. And he remembered her name.

  “She was.” And wearing one of the skimpiest yoga get-ups Elise had ever seen.

  Absently sorting the sections of the paper, Levi grinned. “This is the class over at the athletic club, right?”

  “Yeah, you should get a day pass just for a look at her. Or maybe not. Even closing in on seventy, she kind of blows me away.”

  Levi chuckled. Elbows resting on wide-slung knees, he flipped open the entertainment section of the Trib. “Not possible.”

  A warm breeze rustled the edges of the paper and teased through the strands of his dark hair. Elise leaned into the right side of Levi’s broad back, felt the vibration of his gruff, “Nice,” against her cheek where it rested on his shoulder.

  Closing her eyes, she told herself to just take this moment. To hold on to it for the beautiful simplicity it offered and not to let the panicked emotions pushing at her throat free. Not to give in to those thoughts fast on the rise that were suddenly demanding to know what she was going to do when Levi left.

  Because somehow, against all her best intentions, in spite of all her defenses, she’d gone and fallen in love with him.

  She was over her head, and getting deeper every minute…even knowing that every day was one day closer to the one where he left town for good.

  Suddenly it was all too much. The loan, the studio, her parents, her future, and the one thing that felt so totally right on the cusp of being over. Her head spun and her stomach seized. The open air around her turning thick and stale in her throat.

  She jerked to her feet, stumbled back.

  “Elise?” Levi was on his feet reaching for her as she desperately fumbled her keys.

  Get inside. She had to—

  Too late. Her stomach heaved and she lunged for the trash bin.

  * * *

  Inside, Levi wrung cool water into the sink and then pressed the washcloth to the back of Elise’s neck where she sat on the side of the tub, head bowed.

  “I’m fine, Levi. Completely better now, though I’m not sure I’ll ever recover from the humiliation of you seeing me get sick. And in public.”

  “Glad you’re recovered.” Only not really. Staring down at Elise’s slender back, the silky curls tied out of her face, and the delicate hands pressed against her eyes, Levi would have felt a hell of a lot better if Elise were still hugging the porcelain bowl, cursing a sketchy breakfast sandwich consumed some time in the last few hours. But no, the nausea that hit her out of nowhere was gone as quickly as it had come. And the only reason she was still sitting in here was because Levi hadn’t let her up yet.

  He needed a minute.

  Not because he couldn’t handle the sight of a woman vomit. Courtesy of his mother, he’d been hardened to that at an early age. So seeing Elise pitch at the park was about as close to old home week as he got. The only thing missing was the sinus-burning fumes of cheap liquor in the mix.

  No, what had Levi’s gut wringing harder than the cloth in his hands was the short list of reasons women were suddenly, violently sick to their stomachs. Without a fever.

  Yeah, Levi had definitely needed a minute.

  To do some math. To think back…very carefully…and come up with a whole lot of holy hell. He couldn’t recall more than two nights at a stretch they hadn’t seen each other. In over a month.

  Catching sight of himself in the battered rectangle of mirror above Elise’s single bathroom sink, Levi tried to rearrange his features into a mask of something that at least resembled calm. It wasn’t working.

  Tossing the washcloth into the sink, he stalked out of the bathroom before Elise could get a look at him.

  “Levi?” Elise sounded tense behind him.

>   Because she wasn’t sure how he’d take her blowing the contents of her stomach in front of him?

  Or because she had something she hadn’t been ready to tell him…and she’d just given him a very big clue.

  Gripping the back of the couch in the front room, Levi stared at the window, seeing nothing beyond. Just feeling the slow press of the walls around him. An incremental tightening of his skin.

  God, it couldn’t be that.

  “Levi, I don’t know what to say. I’m really embar—”

  He turned, staring hard at her. “Are you pregnant?”

  “What?” Confusion flashed in those guileless gray eyes. Confusion followed close by horror. “You think because I—” Her hands waved in a small churning circle. “No— Oh, my God, no.” Her shock was genuine. No one could fake that level of stunned distress—or at least Elise couldn’t.

  “No. I can’t be.”

  That was the answer he’d been hoping for. Only between that breath and the next, Elise’s eyes lost their conviction and her face went pale.

  Damn it.

  “Let’s just start simple. When was your last period?” This wasn’t the kind of conversation he typically had with his dates. But then most of his dates barely registered as more than a blip on the radar. And no, it wasn’t that he didn’t think they could get pregnant because he only slept with them once or twice. It was more that the kind of women he generally went out with tended toward the more sexually practiced. So in addition to his religious condom use, there was typically another form of birth control in play. The pill. The patch. An IUD. Something.

  But Elise. She didn’t have the kind of lifestyle where she was looking to be prepared just in case something came up. Which meant the condoms he’d been packing were flying solo. And they weren’t one-hundred-percent effective.

  A small furrow dug between Elise’s eyes as she pinched the bridge of her nose with one hand, using the other apparently to count on her fingers. The muscles along his spine cranked tighter.