by CD Reiss
When I found that envelope, I thought I was coming to another pivot point. A fork in the road where choices had to be made, because I promised myself that if he deployed, we were going with him, logistics and common sense be damned.
“You really dodged a bullet there,” I said from the passenger seat. The front of the yellow surfboard stuck out from the roof like a giant duck’s bill in the windshield.
“How’s that?”
With the windows open, the cool morning air whipped his hair every which way. I’d married a man who was rigid and yoked by darkness, but my husband had a burden-free spirit.
“I was going to take Hank wherever they sent you.”
He laughed and put his hand in my lap, twining it with mine.
“Don’t ever change, Grey. Never.”
“Don’t ever leave me. Ever.”
Hank made little boy sounds in the back, holding a toy helicopter against the window so the sky would be a backdrop.
“I got an email from Ronin,” I said.
“Which Ronin?”
“That’s the news. There’s only one. They used the visualization procedure.”
“Yours?” He stopped at a light and turned to me, brows raised. Big smile. God, this man was beautiful when he was happy. “The one you developed?”
“Yup.”
He slammed the car into park and put his arms around me. His kiss was insistent and jubilant, made through a smile. He pulled away.
“I’m proud of you.”
“I’m pretty proud of myself.”
His eyes left mine for a second and he pushed the neckline of my shirt aside, exposing the mark he’d left on me the night before. It was sore to the touch. He was still good at hurting me just enough.
“You better have a doctor look at that,” he said.
“Good idea.”
“G’een, g’een!” Hank shouted from behind me, kicking my seat. A horn honked behind us.
“Let’s go!” Caden said, looking at Hank in the rearview as he crossed the intersection.
“Let go!” his son repeated.
“Onward!” I joined in.
“O’wad!”
“Onward,” Caden said, taking my hand as he turned onto our block.
Forward we went.
Always forward, with nothing but the earth beneath us, the blue sky above us, and the horizon line before us.
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Acknowledgments
Thank you, thank you, thank you for joining me on this journey. This series was for you but also for my own soul. It’s not often that the id of a writer and the needs of readers are the same, so I cherish this series for that. My goal was to deconstruct a marriage, piece by piece, examine it, and put it back together. It’s because of you, my faithful readers, that I was allowed this conceit.
Throughout the writing of this series, Sarah Ferguson and her husband answered stupid questions about the military in sixty seconds or less. Rebecca Yarros was great help for the Fallujah flashbacks . I learned so much I can barely fit it all in my head. These women make their husbands’ sacrifices possible. They serve our country as bravely as the men they love, and they are not to be underestimated.
Sarah is also on my PR team, and it’s because of her and Jenn Watson that I was allowed time to write. Yes, this thing was a month late, but they held down the fort while I struggled to make this series what I needed it to be.
Fort-holding-down credit also goes to Jean, Serena, and Michelle for their help with my Facebook group. Cameron makes the gorgeous graphics on Instagram and profile pictures. Anthony keeps the money where it belongs and is amazingly good at being the soothing voice that cuts through the panic. Thank God for all of them.
Chanpreet Singh used her medical training to help figure out what happened in that closet in Fallujah. A lady from my fan group helped me find the right Kurdish phrase for “I’m pregnant.” I’ve searched my Facebook inbox and cannot find her name. If you’re there, wonderful lady, message me again so I can place your name here.
Cassie was a goddess and editor of grace, as always. Her staff, especially superbrain Devon B, proofed the series, and can I tell you something? Devon puts the CMoS numbers in the comments. Super sexy.
Lauren Blakely and Laurelin Paige mentor the hell out of me. I can’t even begin to list how many times and ways they extract my head from my ass.
I tried to calculate how long Caden’s parents were in the air as they fell. With the help of the internet, it should have been a snap. It wasn’t. I finally broke down and asked Penny Reid if she knew anyone who could help me calculate it, and she came back with a number in less time than it took to fall from the 101st floor of the World Trade Center circa 2001.
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I took liberties with history, military procedure, and medicine. I’ve listed them below in the order they occurred to me. There are probably more I’m not aware of. I apologize if any of these took you out of the story.
There was no major shamal (sandstorm) in Baghdad in 2007. There was one in 2005 and 2008. The May storms are called Al-Haffir or “the driller,” which is a fact irrelevant to this list but delightful nonetheless.
Surgeons didn’t go with medevacs regularly until 2011. Their presence saved lives, but not in 2007.
Medical teams at Balad Air Base worked for eight days straight at the outset of Phantom Fury (the second battle of Fallujah) with minimal rest. I have no evidence they were being given amphetamine or any other performance-enhancing drug.
Abu Ghraib was the site of horrible acts of torture I never want to see again. As far as I am able to ascertain, the Department of Defense did not order these specific acts as a way to “use their culture against them.” Ronin’s quote is an expression of my belief that people do not act in a vacuum, not point of fact.
Military Service Obligations are eight years. After 9/11, AMEDD recruiters could negotiate the obligation down for medical personnel who didn’t have an educational debt to work off.
This one isn’t really a fudged fact, but it’s worth mentioning. I have done bioenergetic/circular breathing many times. The effects are exactly what’s in the book. You should give it a try.
The characters’ personality problems were the result of an experimental drug that I made up, so the presentation of very real, very serious dissociative disorder wasn’t even close to textbook. Mental illnesses, in general, are not as easy to cure as some made up drug side effect in a book. I hope I was clear in that.
The word “crazy” is only used in context of character. If the character would think or say it, they do. Greysen wouldn’t. Caden would (though by book three, he was less dismissive). Mental illness is serious, debilitating, and worthy of compassion and resources. I hope I dealt with it in a way that expresses reality as well as respect. If you don’t think I lived up to my ideals, let me know.
On capitalization: I know the military has their own style guide, but I don’t like it. I follow the Chicago Manual of Style. I don’t capitalize army or rank unless I’m specifically talking about the US Army in a formal way or using rank with a person’s name. This can get pretty fuzzy in casual prose. When there was even the slightest bit of doubt, I opted to not cap army or rank. The word “soldier” should never be capitalized unless it’s the first word in a sentence. It’s my book. I do what I want. End.
Same for capitalization of internet, web (as in world-wide), and wi-fi.
You can pry the Oxford comma out of my cold, dead hands.
Jake’s abduction is loosely based on the capture of US military personnel in May 2007. It is not meant to match the historical record or erase the stories of the lives that were lost.
Getting t
hese two to jump from a plane/helicopter/building without her knowing she’d live was a puzzle I was putting together, taking apart, and rearranging until the last minute. Seriously. Do those bags just stay inflated all the time? Doesn’t someone have to be there to deflate at the point of impact? Six stories? Really? I hope I didn’t push credulity too far in this or anything.
As always, thank you to all my readers: The new ones for taking a chance on a genre-straddling series and the old for sticking with me. I hope I can continue to entertain you for years to come.
Also by CD Reiss
The Games Duet
Adam Steinbeck will give his wife a divorce on one condition. She join him in a remote cabin for 30 days, submitting to his sexual dominance.
Marriage Games | Separation Games
The Submission Series
Jonathan brings out Monica’s natural submissive.
Submission | Domination | Connection
Corruption Series
Their passion will set the Los Angeles mafia on fire.
SPIN | RUIN | RULE
Forbidden Series
Fiona has 72 hours to prove she isn’t insane. Her therapist has to get through three days without falling for her.
KICK | USE | BREAK
Contemporary Romances
Hollywood and sports romances for the sweet and sexy romantic.
Shuttergirl | Hardball | Bombshell | Bodyguard