Alice comes pounding back down the stairs and plops back down on the sofa next to me. She’s holding those postcards of hers and I brace myself. I notice the postcards when I pulled the books out of her backpack at the hospital and I’ve seen her staring at them more than once with a reflective expression on her face. Whatever they mean, I know they’re not to be taken lightly.
She hands me the postcards. There are about a dozen of them. They’re all photographs of four major places; Seattle, Portland, Mt. Shasta, and Yosemite.
“My mother was born into Hardwidge,” Alice says. “She hated it. She always did. She wasn’t shy about talking about how much she hated it and she was punished a lot for that. She never followed the rules. She wanted to be human too much, she wanted to live in the city, she wanted a television, she wanted to eat food she didn’t hunt herself. And she did all those things all the time even when they beat her for it. After she had me, they warned her. If she kept rebelling, they would take me away from her or exile her and keep me. But she didn’t stop. She went right on doing whatever she wanted.” Alice laughs a little at that. “That’s what I’ve always heard anyway. I was supposed to take a lesson from that. It was supposed to teach me that I should obey, follow the rules. Be a good wolf. But it did the opposite. I did follow the rules most of the time. I guess I cared about getting punished more than she did. But I dreamed of leaving. I dreamed of finding a way out one day and being as brave as she was every time she broke the rules.”
“And you did find a way out,” I say, unable to keep my mouth completely shut for once.
“I guess so,” Alice says, smiling softly.
“I never saw her again. Jason and I were left without a mother. Which really meant we had to fend for ourselves. I know who my father was but Hardwidge fathers don’t act much like fathers. I barely knew him. Anyway, my mom always talked about the places on these postcards, how she’d like to live there someday. I guess when she was little, Hardwidge was a little different and it used to move around more. She had good memories. I always figured, if I ever tried to find her. I’d start with these places.”
“Did she ever try to come back for you?” I ask. “Did she ever send a letter or anything?”
“Not that I know of,” Alice says quickly. “But I always wondered if she tried and they stopped her before she could get to me or found letters she tried to send to me. It’s possible. I’m not even sure how anyone would have been able to send mail to Hardwidge.”
“Yeah, that’s possible.” I frown and bite back the thought that’s on the tip of my tongue. It’s possible there were extenuating circumstances that I don’t understand. It’s also possible that Alice’s mother is dead. But I know that if I had children trapped in a place like Hardwidge I would do anything to get them back. It seems like if her mother had tried to get to her and they stopped her, they would have told her so if only to twist the knife a little more. “Listen, I will do whatever I can to help you. Xander has a private investigator he uses sometimes. We could try to track her down that way too, assuming she’s using the same name.”
“Oh! I hadn’t thought of that,” Alice says. She kisses me on the cheek. “That would be wonderful. I’ve dreamed of finding her for so long.”
“Of course,” I whisper and wrap an arm around her, pulling her close. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”
Alice smiles and kisses me for that and we fool around a little before attempting to watch the show again. My brothers keep texting me, asking how things are going with Alice. I’m assuming Xander has told them that romance has blossomed and sure enough, they keep asking questions. Happily though, they’re being encouraging, especially Aaron and Micah. I think that having been recently mated themselves, they understand more than Xander how quickly it can happen and how overwhelming it can be.
When are you bringing her for dinner at the house? Micah asks. Of course, he’s talking about our parent’s estate. The thought has definitely occurred to me but it seems too soon. As much as Alice has opened up to me and to Luna too, I feel like my place has become a sort of a safe space for her. I know how intimidating my parent’s estate can be too, even when their attentions are good. And everything is so good and happy now in our little bubble. Popping it is tricky. Not that it won’t pop eventually. The last thing I want is for Alice to hide in this house away from the world forever. That would just be a different kind of Hardwidge.
Not sure, I text to Micah.
“Hey, we need to get you a phone,” I mutter in Alice’s direction. She casts me a wide-eyed look of surprise and I can’t think of why at first. Of course, she needs her own phone. And then I realize that it’s the first sort of permanent thing that I’ve suggested we get for Alice. Because it’s not the same as buying her a toothbrush or some books. A phone is expensive and it requires a phone plan that has to be paid for. It implies that she’s going to be around a while.
“Sure,” she murmurs. “I...I guess so.” I think she doesn’t know what to say and I kiss her hair. Just as quickly she suddenly blurts out, “I want to get a job sometime. And I want to go to school. I know I need one of those things instead of a high school diploma though.”
That makes my heart swell right up. “Absolutely. I think that would be great.”
“Really?” Alice turns to me and raises her eyebrows. “You think I could...go to college? Or something like it?”
“Of course,” I say with a snort. “All you do is read. You’d be a wonderful student.”
Alice lights up and starts to speak again when there’s a knock at the door. My brothers were all just texting me but now I’m wondering if somebody’s come by to pay a surprise visit or if Luna forgot something. The thought of danger doesn’t even cross my mind and it’s only as I’m opening the door that I catch Jason’s scent. But by then, it’s too late.
Alice’s brother shoves the door open just as I realize what’s happening. Wherever they were keeping him, which Xander told me was a good hundred miles south of Quinton, he must have escaped. Jason doesn’t wait to be told to come on, he just swaggers inside like he owns the place. I have a feeling Hardwidge men have a habit of doing that.
“Jason!” Alice hops to her feet and I know she’s just as scared of him as she was in the cave as she backs away and the scent of her fear is sharp on the air.
“Came to visit my sister,” Jason bites out, looking right past me.
“You can’t be here,” I say, clenching my fists at my side. The urge to shift and fight him is overpowering but I want to stay cool if I can. I’m not used to feeling this way. I’m not like Xander. I’m much slower to anger and beyond my loyalty to my brothers, I’ve never felt a sense of possessiveness so powerful. But I can see the danger in Jason’s eyes and I remember too well how paralyzed with terror Alice was when I found her tied up in that terrible cave. “I know very well that you’re not supposed to be here. And Alice doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“Get out of here, Jason,” Alice says behind me. Her voice is strong even as it quakes. “He’s right. I don’t want to talk to you! I never want to talk to you again!”
“We’re family!” Jason says. His eyes are wild. My wolf is pawing inside me, desperate to get out. I feel as if everything has gone from ten miles an hour to one hundred in a second. I’m poised to strike, my adrenaline surging. I hate that Alice can’t shift though. She would be much safer. “Family stays together! You and me, Alice! You think you belong with a Tremblay, you’re living in a dream world!”
“Get the hell out of here,” I say slowly. “You leave and you don’t come back. Not ever again. I’ll give you five seconds and then I’m ripping your throat out.” I surprise even myself a little bit. I don’t think I’ve ever made that kind of threat to anyone in my life, in fact, I know I haven’t. But I’m absolutely serious as I stare Jason down. I see the corner of Jason’s mouth turn up and I know there’s about to be a fight. He wants it to happen.
Well, that’s fine with me.
; Alice screams just before Jason shifts like she could feel it was about to happen and I let my wolf out. The two of us go at each other, leaping in the air and clashing with teeth bared. We wrestle each other to the ground and it’s happening too fast for me to strategize very much beyond reflexively going for his throat. We’re both fairly large wolves and there’s nothing delicate in the fight as Alice jumps back and can only watch as we knock over a side table, a vase shattering on the floor. We knock over my water fountain and Jason slams me against the big windows which are fortunately much too thick to break even with the pressure of a giant wolf slamming into them. I get my bearings and go at Jason full force, tackling him to the couch, our claws tearing it to shreds and he bowls me over into the coffee table.
When I finally get a good mouthful of his flank, I bite down with every bit of strength within me, feeling his blood fill my mouth and relishing it. I don’t let go. Jason goes still, yet I can feel him breathing. He’s surrendering. When he shifts back into human from, I shift too and I slowly stand, watching him lie there, bleeding on my nice white area rug. I’ve made a nice hole in his flank but assuming he drove here, he should be able to get somewhere before he bleeds out.
Unfortunately, I think darkly.
“This how it goes?” He says, panting. “This how it goes, Alice? I’m your brother. Who is he? Who is he, Alice! Your sugar daddy!”
I hear Alice approach behind me and my instinct is to stand between her and him but she comes around and kicks him in his injured flank so that he groans and curls up in pain before struggling to stand up, holding his side.
“You tied me up!” She screams at him. “You kept me prisoner in that cave! You were going to mate me off to Kyle like I was some livestock to be sold! Just to breed for your stupid pack! Don’t pretend for a second that you ever cared about family! Fuck you! Fuck you, Jason.” She shakes her head and her face streaked with tears even as she stares him down and whispers, “Get the fuck out of here Jason, before I kill you myself.”
Jason staggers out of the house, bleeding on my floor. He has a hole in him but he’s not too torn up. My wolf growls within me. It wants so badly to finish the job but I let Jason get in his car (that I have to imagine he stole) and drive away. I need to call Xander and tell him what happened. he should probably be caught but all I want to do right now is make sure Alice is okay as she stands there crying on the floor, staring down at Jason’s blood.
“I wanted to kill him,” I say quietly.
“I know,” Alice says, wiping her eyes. I cross to her, intending to wrap her in a hug but when I try it, I hiss in pain and she pulls away. “He did get you. Shit…”
Jason bit my shoulder. It doesn’t feel very bad and it’s certainly not life threatening but only now as I catch my breath is the pain sharp. I’m a little banged up besides that; my forehead was scraped where I hit the floor and I know my muscles will be sore as hell tomorrow.
“It’s not bad,” I murmur, but Alice gives me a wary expression as she wipes her eyes. She takes a deep breath and grabs my hand, dragging me upstairs. “Wait, my phone…” I find my phone, having been swept to the floor during the fight. In fact, the entire living room looks like a war zone, shattered glass and blood everywhere. But it’s hardly the biggest priority right now. Alice helps me to the bathroom and makes me sit down on the side of the tub and takes my shirt off.
There’s a bit of a tiff as I insist on calling Xander before letting Alice take care of me and she sighs as she roots around my bathroom for medical supplies. I think she’s making too much of it, personally. It’s not that bad and I’ll heal quickly. But if it makes her feel better, I suppose I can play patient. I call Xander who yells about the lack of security at the safe-house where Jason was being kept and rants that he’s really tired of “these goddamn Hardwidge bastards” coming at his brothers. But eventually I get him to calm down and describe the car he was driving.
“Are you okay?” I ask her once I’ve hung up.
Alice looks at me incredulously and snorts a laugh. “Eh darling, you’re the one gushing blood.”
“Not gushing blood,” I grumble a little defensively. “It’s just a scratch. And obviously you were upset.”
“Of course, I was upset,” she says quietly, cleaning my wound with her cloth. “I don’t ever want to see him again. Didn’t expect him to show up at your door.”
“But you were scared…”
Alice frowns and finds a big bandage from my First Aid kit and affixes it to my shoulder. “I was mostly just...upset. I was so angry that he dared to come for me. And I was frustrated as hell that I couldn’t shift. I wanted to be the one to fight him. I never dared before. But I could now.”
“I would say maybe next time,” I say lightly, smoothing her hair back as she smoothes the bandage along my shoulder. “Only there better not be a next time.”
“If there’s a next time, he definitely won’t survive it. I’ll make sure of it. Whether I can shift or not.”
“That’s my brave girl,” I say fondly.
Alice smirks and picks out a Band-Aid to stick to the scrape on my forehead. “To be honest , I think the best revenge on my dear brother might be...forgetting about him. I mean not that I can ever forget Hardwidge, not really. I can’t and maybe I shouldn’t. But I can build a new life. I can build my own life. If I can do that then...I really don’t care where Jason goes or what he does. It’s nothing to do with me.”
My mate, I think, looking at her adoringly.
“I think that’s very wise,” I say. “I think it makes a lot of sense.”
“Thank you.” She kisses the tip of my nose. “So do you think… Do you think we could look for my mother then? I have this feeling like I have to find her before I do anything else. And I’m starting to get tired of doing nothing in this house. As much as I love this house and reading for hours.”
“You got cabin fever?” I ask her. “I wouldn’t blame you.”
“God, yes,” she says, sighing. “I don’t mind going out walking in the woods but I can’t shift and it makes me sad. I sort of just want to get out and go somewhere.”
“Hey.” I grab her hand and squeeze it, and impulsive idea occurring to me. “What if we just got in the car and drove, huh? We could go to the places on your postcards and who knows, maybe we’ll be able to sniff her out. I’ll ask Xander for help from his P.I. too but why not try? As long as you feel like getting away for a while?”
“That sounds wonderful,” Alice whispers, kissing me softly. “You always know the right thing to do.”
“I don’t,” I say, chuckling. “But I do try.”
Chapter Twelve: Alice
I’ve never packed for a road trip before and it feels as fun to me as a road trip might be, even if the aim is to find my mother which I’m not entirely looking forward to, even as I feel I need to if I’m going to truly move on from Hardwidge. Mason reveals a variety of luggage options in his garage and I borrow a small duffle since I really don’t have much to pack. He teases me relentlessly for the number of books I insist on bringing, which would be irritating if I didn’t know how much he loves that I like to read so much.
“I could never read in the car,” he tells me. “Gives me motion sickness.”
“Oh, I read in the car when they drove us all up to the Quinton mountains from Hardwidge,” I say, remembering the last unpleasant road trip I took. “I think I would’ve lost my mind if I hadn’t been able to read on the way up. I mean it was a book I’d already read about ten times, but still.”
Not that I imagine I’ll be reading the whole way. But one of the things I love most about Mason is the way that we can talk or not talk and when we don’t, it doesn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable.
Mason claims that the key to a good road trip is snacks and the most important stop on a road trip is the grocery store you stop at on the way out of town to stock up. He also packs a ridiculous amount of clothing for himself and gets all flustered and turns red when I poi
nt it out.
Our plan is to hit Seattle last, based on my theory that my mother would likely move farther away. We’ll go to Portland and then all the way to Mt. Shasta in California, which is a place that I know nothing about except what my mother told me. She said there was a pretty mountain there and people went there on vacation a lot. She did always talk about living in the city but I know she loved the woods too. Sometimes I think she just mouthed off about living in the city to prove a point since she was already breaking so many rules anyway.
If nothing else, we’ll have a nice drive.
Mason tells me his brothers are being supportive and that Xander thinks it’s a good idea to get out of town for a bit so they can try to deal with Jason. Apparently, they’re hot on his trail. The idea that even Mason’s brothers are so devoted to the idea of protecting me in this way moves me so much, it’s a little overwhelming. I don’t know how I’ll ever thank the Tremblays for what they’ve done for me, even if Mason insists it’s what I deserve.
By nine in the morning, we’re hitting the road.
Going to a grocery store with Mason turns out to be an eye opening experience. I never realized how picky he was before. I tell him it’s because he grew up rich and he turns red. Of course, a person will be picky if they can afford to be. But I’m hardly complaining. He buys about ten types of beef jerky and not the cheap kind either. He throws items into a cart and I could swear that he’s deliberately picking out the most expensive version of everything and the bags take up half the backseat of his car.
Mason declares that this road trip is a good time for me to get into “podcasts” which I have never heard of. I’m insecure sometimes about the things I don’t know, having grown up in such an obscure place away from the world. Mason says there’s no reason I would know about podcasts but he thinks I might like them and puts one on about fantasy books since I seem to like them. It’s not bad but soon enough it just becomes background noise as we get to talking about whatever. Sometimes the most important conversation with Mason seem to be the ones that seem meaningless, the ones that are about silly things like the games he played with his brothers as a kid and how I used to make little dolls out of pine needles and sticks because I was so desperate to play like a regular kid and so often tired of always being forced to shift and learn to hunt properly I even named my dolls. They were precious to me. Most of them were destroyed over the years. But I still have one doll; a cork tied to a stick with a pine needle stick. I named her Emily and decided she was a witch. I’ll show it to Mason sometime, but I know he’ll get sappy about it. The thought makes me chuckle and he asks me what I’m thinking of as we drive beyond Quinton through miles of endless green.
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