“Mr. Wet Hen,” she said, smiling at his quite excellent French accent. Hers wasn’t great, but she understood better than she could speak from studying it in school.
“I told myself I was imagining things. There was no potential threat. Why would there be? We were aid workers. I stayed behind at the clinic and didn’t go with them because I was too busy showering all my knowledge on the village’s young, inexperienced midwife. I had just about run out of things to yammer on about when we heard the blast.”
“Oh, Eli.”
His features were grim. “Apparently, there were still opposition forces in the area angry that the leadership of this village would accept foreign aid workers. They killed fifteen villagers at a peaceful market square for no reason, along with a sweet orphan girl who only wanted to help.”
“Miri,” she whispered, heart aching for the devastation she heard in his voice.
“She died instantly. Justine was conscious and in agony for only a moment after I arrived on scene. I tried to stabilize her, but she’d lost too much blood and the shock was too great. She went into cardiac arrest. I told you I did CPR while we tried to call for help but... It was too late. I couldn’t save either of them.”
She had no words, nothing that could comfort this sort of deep pain.
“Miri was only a girl, with a future that was much brighter than it had been a few months earlier, before Justine came into her life. I hate knowing that future was wiped out because of me.”
“Why do you blame yourself?”
“I could have made other choices. I shouldn’t have let them go into the market alone. I should have been with them. We should have taken more protection with us.”
“Could any of those things have stopped what happened?”
He looked helplessly at her and she knew the answer. No. He would have been a target, too.
She removed the omelet from the stove to a plate, choosing her words with care. “You can’t blame yourself, Eli. You didn’t plant the explosives and you couldn’t have known someone else would. You were there to help people.”
“I know that intellectually. Convincing my emotions isn’t quite as easy.”
The torment on his features broke her heart. She was a nurse, driven to ease suffering where she saw it, and she hated knowing she couldn’t help him.
She couldn’t resist going to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. She wanted to tell him not to blame himself, that she understood he had been there to help others and he couldn’t hold himself responsible for the evil actions of a few, but she knew that would be cold comfort.
Still, something in her touch must have calmed him, as she hoped. After a few moments, she felt some of the tension in his muscles seep away. He returned her hug with a grateful embrace before he stepped away.
“I’m sorry. I keep thinking I’ve dealt with it. It was six months ago and most of the time I’m fine. Every once in a while, I let down my guard and the memories wash over me like a flash flood.”
“I’m glad I was here to keep them from drowning you.”
“So am I.” He gestured to the table. “But I hate to waste a good omelet, especially when you’ve gone to all the trouble to make it. Should we eat?”
For all the sadness of his story, she found the meal surprisingly restful. They spoke of mutual acquaintances and some of the changes that had come over the town in the years since both of them had lived here. She didn’t want their time together to end, but the long day finally caught up with her and she couldn’t hold back a yawn.
He glanced at his watch, shook his head and rose. “I should go. It’s nearly two. Thank you for the omelet and the evening. I enjoyed both.”
“Thank you. I forgot all about missing Skye.”
He shrugged into his jacket and headed for the door. She walked him there, with Max trotting at their heels.
“If you want to take Max home with you, I should be okay. I feel silly I was ever worried about being alone. This house just feels so big when I’m the only one here, especially when I know Sonia and Rosa aren’t in town.”
“Keep him until Skye gets home, if you want. He’s good company. To be honest, you’re better company to him than I will probably be. He’s been lonely, I’m afraid. I think he misses my dad. And I’ll be at the rehab center most of the day, so he would be alone otherwise.”
He planned to spend his Sunday with his father, which filled her with a soft tenderness. “You’re a very sweet man, Eli.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Why? Because I have a good relationship with my dad?”
“You care. Too many people who have been through what you have would harden their soul against letting in any kind of softer feelings, but you haven’t. You care about your father, you cared about Jim the other day on the beach, you care about our patients and about your refugee patients thousands of miles away.”
She had to kiss him. Though she knew it was potentially dangerous, she couldn’t resist rising on her tiptoes and pressing her mouth to his.
He remained frozen for one breathless moment, and then he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her as she realized both of them had been craving all night.
It was raw and hot, his mouth searching hers, his body pressed against her. She realized as his arms tightened around her that she had been fooling herself. She hadn’t kissed him out of tenderness or empathy but because she had been craving his kiss since those magical moments the day before, outside the beach gate.
She made a soft sound and wrapped her arms around his neck, her mouth angled to allow him better access. Her breasts ached where they were pressed against him. Everything ached.
His mouth was urgent and demanding on hers, and the hunger in it aroused her.
He wanted her.
She didn’t need to feel the hard nudge of his arousal against her to sense it in his hands and his mouth and his body. They were alone in the house. She could take him by the hand and tug him into her bedroom, and they could spend the rest of this rainy, misty night wrapped together, pushing away the shadows.
The temptation consumed her. How easy it would be to take that step. It had been so very long since she had felt wanted and needed and cherished like this.
And then what? If she and Eli spent the night together, where would that leave them? He was still committed to leaving. He had just told her all his reasons for it. He was driven to continue the work he had been doing, providing medical care to people in need. She understood now that he was motivated by a complicated tangle of guilt and grief and obligation. She also understood that she would be a fool to think she would be enough to keep him here.
Her heart would be broken. Just like her marriage—which she had known even as she was saying I do was a mistake that never should have happened—it would be her own stupid fault.
One the best ways she had found to discipline Skye on the rare occasions her daughter misbehaved was to redirect, to encourage her to make a better choice. Those words, make a better choice, were often all she needed to say when Skye was throwing one of her rare tantrums or doing something Melissa had told her not to do.
She needed to listen to her own advice to her daughter. She had no hope of creating happiness in life if she made choices she knew from the outset would only lead to heartbreak and pain.
She couldn’t make love with him, as much as she ached to feel his arms around her all night long, to learn all his secrets and explore that delicious body.
It would leave her too vulnerable. She was already half in love with the man. Spending what was left of the night together would push her headlong the rest of the way.
She had entrusted her heart and her life to one man who put something else ahead of her. Fixing her mistake had cost her dearly, and her child would pay the price for that the rest of her life, forever separated from one parent or the other through the tangled maze of
custody and visitations.
She couldn’t wander blindly into a similar situation. When he walked away to return to the military and the life that gave him such purpose and meaning, Melissa was very much afraid she would never put back together the pieces of her shattered heart.
She didn’t want to end the kiss. She wanted to stay right here forever, with his warm, sexy mouth teasing out all her secrets. Just a few more moments...
He was finally the one who broke the embrace. He eased his mouth away and rested his forehead against hers.
She thought she smelled roses again, but this time the scent was wistful and almost sad.
“Didn’t we say we weren’t going to do this again?” he said, his forehead pressed to hers.
She wanted to make some smart response but couldn’t think of anything. “Kisses don’t count in the middle of the night.”
“I think that’s when they count the most.”
After a moment, he stepped away, eyes haunted with regret. “I need to go, before I forget all the reasons why I can’t stay.”
Her chest ached and she wished with all her heart that things could be different, that she could be the woman for him.
“What about Max?” he asked.
Already the house seemed to echo with emptiness. For all that the ghosts of Brambleberry House seemed friendly enough, she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to face them alone tonight. “He’s here and he seems comfortable enough. If you don’t mind, I’ll keep him overnight.”
“No problem.”
He looked as if he had other things he wanted to say, but Eli finally headed for the door. When he opened it, Melissa saw the light rain of earlier had turned into a steady downpour. It matched her sudden mood—dank, dark, dismal.
“Good night,” he said with one last, backward look that seemed filled with regret.
Was he regretting that he had to leave?
Or regretting that they both knew he couldn’t stay?
After he walked out into the night, Melissa locked the door behind him, then went through her apartment turning off lights, grateful for Max’s company as he followed along behind her.
Her heart ached as she thought of the story Eli had told and the sadness behind it. He must have cared about the woman very much to shoulder such a burden six months later. This Justine person must have been remarkable. Not the kind of woman who basically fell apart simply because her daughter was spending the night with her father.
She had learned to be tough after the divorce, and she needed to call on that strength. Something told her she would need all the courage she could find after Eli left Cannon Beach once more.
Chapter Nine
The next day, Sunday, she rose early despite her late night and took Max for a run along the beach. He didn’t have Fiona’s loping grade but toddled along beside her so cheerfully, it warmed her heart.
The day had turned cooler from the rain of the night before, with more precipitation predicted for later that evening. April could be fickle on the coast, with the rare warm, pleasant day often giving way to a spring snowstorm.
Things weren’t supposed to be that drastic, but it was definitely cold enough first thing in the morning that she was grateful for her jacket.
They didn’t bump into Eli, as she had half hoped and half feared. All in all, it was the most uneventful run she’d had on the beach in what felt like forever.
As if to remind her of previous fun times, her wrist ached more than it had in days as she and Max returned to the house. She ignored it and spent the rest of the morning trying not to watch the clock as she finished some of her coursework for her online nurse practitioner classes.
She had just hit Send on another assignment when Max suddenly scampered to the front door just moments before it opened.
“Mommy! Hi! Where are you, Mommy?”
She hurried out to the entryway to find Skye and Cody standing just inside the door. Skye must have used her key to come in.
“You’re back! Hi, honey.”
“Hi, Mommy.” Skye hugged her but didn’t stop frowning. “Hey, why do you have Dr. Sanderson’s dog? Hi, Max!”
“He’s babysitting me,” she said. Skye giggled while Cody looked on, confused.
She didn’t bother to explain to him. “How did things go?” she asked instead.
She didn’t necessarily want Skye to rant about how miserable she’d been overnight. Melissa didn’t want to think she was that small-minded.
Still, when her daughter beamed, Melissa had to smile through clenched teeth.
“So fun,” Skye said. “We went to a baseball game last night and they had fireworks and everything. Then we had pizza and this morning we went to the store. We were going to go to another baseball game but decided not to. I got to see Grandma and Grandpa Fielding, too. Did you know they have a swimming pool at their new house?”
Her in-laws had only recently moved to Portland from Manzanita and she hadn’t been to their house yet.
“I didn’t know that. How fun.”
Skye made a face. “Dad said it was too cold to go swimming, plus I didn’t take my suit.”
“Next time, though,” Cody promised.
“Do we want to set up the next visit?” she asked her ex.
Cody looked a little distracted, as if he hadn’t thought past this one. “I don’t know what my schedule’s going to look like next week. We might be heading down to Cali. What about two weeks from now?”
She forced a smile. “That could work. Just let me know.”
“Thanks, Missy. Hey, Skye-ster. Thanks for hanging with me. I’ve got to run.”
“Okay. Bye, Dad.”
“Sorry to leave so fast. Amalia didn’t do well on the drive here. She’s a bit carsick so I’d better get her back to the city.”
“No problem. Next time I could meet you halfway.”
“That would be great. You’re the best, Miss. Thanks!”
She waved him off, proud of herself for taking the high road this time. It made things go so much more smoothly when she tried to be the adult in their interactions.
After he hurried down the steps, she smiled at her daughter, who was busy petting Max.
“Why is he really here?”
“I wanted some company last night. The house was pretty empty since everyone but me was gone for the night.”
“Even Fiona?”
“She went with Rosa on a hiking trip out of town. So, yes, it was just me.”
“We should get our own dog.”
It was not a new request. Skye had been pushing for their own dog since they had moved from Hawaii.
“Maybe when we get into our own house. I’m so glad you had a great time with your father and Amalia. Is she nice?”
“Really nice. She doesn’t say much, but she’s trying to learn English. She taught me a little Portuguese. That’s what they speak in Brazil, not Brazilian, did you know that?”
“That I did know.”
“I don’t know why. It’s weird, if you ask me. But she taught me how to say hello—olá, which kind of sounds like hola. And goodbye is adeus, which also sounds like adios. Thank you is obrigada. Dad would say obrigado but I’m not sure why. It was fun, except I missed you a ton. Maybe you could come next time.”
Wouldn’t that be delightful? She swallowed a groan and chose her words carefully. “That’s sweet of you, honey, but it’s important for you to enjoy your special time with your dad and new stepmom. And soon you’ll have a new baby brother to love. You get plenty of time with me.”
“I guess. I still missed you.”
“I missed you, too. So much, I had to borrow Max here to keep me company.”
“I wish we didn’t have to give him back.”
“I know, honey. But you like sleeping in your own bed and I’m sure Max doe
s, too.”
“I guess.”
Melissa didn’t want to fall into the trap of trying to compete with her ex for most fun parent, but she’d been without her daughter for an entire day and wanted to have a little fun with her while she could. “Why don’t you go get your kite and we can take Max home, then fly your kite on that good stretch of beach by Dr. Sanderson’s house.”
Skye had been begging her to take the kite out for several weeks and she latched onto the idea with enthusiasm. “Yay! I’ll go get it.”
She skipped to her room, leaving Melissa to gather up the dog’s things and try not to be nervous at the idea of seeing Eli again.
* * *
As he finished putting together the lift recliner he had purchased that morning, Eli wasn’t sure whether his father would be happy about the gift or would accuse him of trying to turn Wendell into an old man before his time.
His father was recovering from a double knee replacement. Nobody would think less of him for using anything that might make his life a little more comfortable. And after all his father did for his patients around town, didn’t he deserve a comfortable chair at the end of the day that he could get into and out of without pain?
It was a good argument, if Eli did say so himself. Whether his father would buy into it was another story entirely.
He pulled the chair into the corner where his father’s beat-up old recliner held pride of place. He would never dare to get rid of the thing, but he could at least offer this one as an alternative. If nothing else, Max would probably like it.
He looked around automatically for the dog, then remembered. Max had spent the night with Melissa.
Lucky dog.
He pushed the dangerous thought away as he settled into the recliner to check it out. He couldn’t think about her like that.
How had she made it through the night? It had taken all his strength that morning not to walk up to Brambleberry House to check on her.
That hadn’t stopped him from thinking about her all day. Their hot, intense kiss had haunted him, kept him awake most of the night.
A Soldier's Return ; The Daddy Makeover Page 12