by E. L. Todd
I took a deep breath. “I just expected being an adult would be awesome. It would be all fun and games. All I would do is enjoy my freedom. Life would be good, it would be great. But…”
“But what?” he pressed.
“I guess it’s a lot harder than I thought.”
His eyes softened when he looked at me. They turned blue for a moment, showing his vulnerability.
“I feel like I don’t know where I belong. I keep making mistakes. I just want to fast-forward to the next stage. I want to find the perfect guy and marry him. I want to be married with kids. I just want to find the place where I belong…” I realized this conversation became too serious. “I’m sorry. I’m just rambling.”
He processed my words for a long time. “When I first became an adult, I struggled. I was a much different man before your mother came into my life. I was a jerk, frankly. I wanted to be a bachelor all my life. All I cared about was racing fast cars and picking up different girls every night. I went through the motions, just having fun. But in reality, I was sad. When your uncle Sean got married, I realized how empty and meaningless my life was. All I did was waste time and break hearts. I had nothing to show for it. The depression hit me hard. I was a single guy, alone and broken. But then your mother came into my life, bringing the light with her.”
His words echoed in my mind long after he said them.
“My point is, even though I went through a hard time, I wouldn’t change it for anything. Because when you do finally find where you belong and the person you belong with, you realize you wouldn’t have appreciated it so much unless you struggled to begin with.” He rested his hand on mine. “You will find the place where you belong and the guy you belong with. But never speed up time. Because we really don’t have long on this earth. Appreciate what you have. Because before you know it, it’s gone.”
My father pulled his hand away then sipped his coffee. Silence stretched between us. My dad and I always had serious conversations, but we never went as deep as this. He was a friend as well as a parent. It felt good to get that off my chest. Because, like always, he made me feel better.
24
Cayson
I sat down at our usual table in the library but Skye wasn’t there. It was only Trinity and Slade.
“All I’m saying is, you’re stupid and annoying.” Slade ate his burrito while he spoke, forgetting his manners. “So just shut the hell up.”
“You aren’t supposed to eat in the library,” she hissed.
“And you aren’t supposed to talk,” he snapped. “Do the world a favor and become mute.”
“Ugh.” Trinity looked like she might slam her textbook into his head.
I eyed them both. “Best friends, I see…”
“I wouldn’t be her friend if you paid me,” Slade said, still eating his burrito.
“I’m so close to smashing my book into your skull,” she threatened.
“You would never hit your target.” He crammed the rest of the burrito, nearly half of it, into his wide open mouth. He could barely close his lips around it.
“Gross…just take a bite and chew,” Trinity said. “Why do you have to shove it down your throat like a seagull?”
“At least I eat. You’re a twig.”
“At least I’m not disgusting.”
I couldn’t stand this much longer. “Kids, knock it off. Or time-out for both of you.”
Slade rolled his eyes. “I’m about to wipe a booger on her.”
“Gross…” She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed.
“Have you seen Skye?” I asked. “She’s usually here about now.”
“No. I haven’t seen her all day,” Trinity said.
She usually came to the library for her two-hour break. I couldn’t recall a time when she skipped it. “That’s odd.”
“Just text her and ask where she is, genius.” Slade balled up his foil then threw it right at Trinity’s face.
“Jackass.” She swatted it away and it fell on the floor.
I typed the message. Babe, I’m in the library. Where are you?
“Excuse me.” The librarian stood at our table, looking pissed. Her glasses made her eyes look three times as big. She looked like a bug under a magnifying glass.
Trinity stiffened.
“No food in the library.” She was staring at Trinity, annoyance and disapproval heavy in her eyes. “You know the school rules. Now pick up that trash and throw it away.”
Trinity turned to Slade, glaring at him.
Slade covered his mouth and tried not to laugh.
“I’m waiting...” The librarian crossed her arms over her chest. “You think just because you’re a rich kid that you don’t have to follow the rules?”
The librarian was being awfully harsh but none of us told her off.
Trinity sighed then picked up the foil from the ground. Then she threw it away.
“Now was that so hard?” The librarian gave her one final glare before she walked off.
Trinity turned her rage to Slade. “You dick!”
Slade laughed hard, hitting his hand against the table. “Oh man, that was hilarious.”
“It was not,” Trinity hissed.
“Dude, that book nerd hates you.” Slade couldn’t stop laughing. “That was priceless.”
“Go to hell, Slade.” She grabbed her bag and marched off.
Slade kept laughing even after she was gone. “She had it coming.”
I didn’t comment on it. I never understood their odd relationship. Slade treated her like dirt but he was willing to stick out his neck to protect her. He tried to act like a macho and careless guy on the outside, but he had a heart of gold underneath. That was the reason why he was my best friend. There was a lot of good to him—he just never showed it.
I turned my attention back to my phone. Skye never texted me back.
“Dude, leave her alone,” Slade said. “Don’t be one of those obsessive and stalker type boyfriends.”
“I’m not,” I said immediately. “It’s just out of the ordinary for her. And the fact she isn’t messaging me back is worrying me.”
“Chill, man. Girls hate clingy guys.”
“I’m not clingy,” I said firmly. “I’m just concerned.”
“She’s probably taking a dump,” Slade reasoned. “No reason to get upset.”
I ignored his comment and called her. It rang several times then went to voicemail. What was she doing? Did she go home? If she did, why? And why wasn’t she texting me back? “I’m going to look for her.”
“Overreacting…” He shook his head slightly.
“When you fall in love with someone, you’ll overreact too.”
“Fall in love?” He leaned his head back and laughed. “Stop with the jokes. My stomach hurts.”
I left the library to search for her. I walked past the classes she already had and hoped to find her there. She was nowhere to be found. I headed to her apartment but she wasn’t there either. I was starting to get uneasy. The situation wasn’t adding up. Where was she?
I headed through the school grounds toward the main building. I still couldn’t find Skye so I was backtracking. The fact no one knew where she was and she wasn’t answering her phone was making me panic. I wasn’t sure if I should call the police or her dad. I tried to stay calm and remain logical. There was obviously an explanation for her disappearance.
When I reached the path, I heard voices.
“No, you aren’t running away from me. I want to talk about this!” a man yelled, sounding threatening.
“Leave me alone!” It was the voice of a woman. And I recognized it immediately.
I turned the corner and saw Zack gripping Skye by the elbow. He was holding her phone in the opposite hand, keeping it out of her reach.
“Give it back to me,” she hissed. She tried to knee him in the groin but he moved out of the way.
I suspected Zack would make a reappearance at some point, but not like this. Seeing
him grip her arm sent me to the brink. If it were any girl, I’d be pissed. But since it was Skye, I was livid.
“No,” he snapped. “How do you think I felt when I was stuck in the hospital for two weeks?”
“I didn’t put you there!” She hit him in the stomach and tried to grab the phone.
He pushed her back. “Don’t act innocent. I know it was your dad. You—”
I grabbed him by the neck and viciously slammed him into the concrete.
Skye stepped back then looked at me, relief written all over her face.
Without thinking, I raised my foot over his face and stomped down, making his nose crack and blood spew out.
“Fuck!” He clutched his face and rolled over.
“You think that hurt?” I savagely kicked him in the side, right where his ribs were. “Since you miss the hospital so much, I’ll put you back there.” I kicked him again. “Fucking dick.”
He curled into a ball and moaned, trying to protect himself.
“Let’s get this straight. Come near Skye again and I’ll make it a million times more painful.” I stomped on his hand, snapping two fingers.
“Fuck!”
“Cayson, that’s enough.” Skye’s words washed over me.
Only her voice could hold me back. Like a scabbard, she could sheath my anger like no one else. The blood lust was suddenly gone. I turned away from Zack and looked at her. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She walked around Zack then yanked her phone out of his grasp. “I’ll be needing that.” No sympathy was on her face. She came back around, joining me.
I was so relieved she wasn’t hurt. I immediately pulled her into me and formed a steel cage around her with my arms. “You’re safe now. Don’t be scared.”
“I wasn’t scared. He was just being a dick.”
“Well, I won’t let him be one anymore.” My hand moved through her hair, treasuring her.
She rested her face against my chest then sighed.
Zack climbed to his feet slowly then wiped the blood from his nose. One hand was pulled to his chest and his fingers were bent in an odd way.
I stared him down, not feeling any remorse. “She’s mine now. And I won’t hesitate to kill you if you give me a reason to.”
He gave me a final glare before walking away.
Skye sighed then pulled away. “Please don’t mention this to my father.”
I would do whatever she asked. “Okay.”
She looked at her phone and saw all the messages and missed calls. “I’m sorry, Cayson. You must have been worried.”
“Don’t apologize,” I said immediately. “I’m just sorry he had you cornered like that.”
“It’s okay. I’m not scared of him.”
That didn’t mean I wasn’t. I’d have to keep a better eye on her. “Is there anything I can do?”
“No. I just want to go home and eat something.”
“Okay.” I pulled her close to me and kissed her forehead.
“Thanks for getting rid of him. I was so relieved when I saw you.”
“I’ll always take care of you.” I never meant anything more in my life.
She grabbed her bag off the ground and shouldered it. “Let’s go.”
Two empty pizza boxes were left on the coffee table. Skye could down a whole one by herself. Her brother teased her for it, but I thought it was hot. She had curves in all the right places, and she wouldn’t have them unless she ate like a normal person.
“Poker?” she asked as she pulled out a deck of cards. A mischievous grin was on her face.
It was past nine. Since it was a Friday night, I didn’t care about the time. I’d probably stay with her all weekend, and before I knew it, it would be Monday again. Time flew by with her. I never had enough of her. “Sure. But I’m not playing for money.”
“Because you know I’ll win.”
I smirked. “No. Because I’m a gentleman.”
“I don’t want a gentleman. I want you.”
When she said things like that, my heart fluttered. It was hard to understand that she wanted me the way I wanted her. So many years had gone by when she didn’t notice me. Now everything was different. “Well, that’s what you’re going to get.”
She pouted her lips. “You don’t have to be perfect all the time, Cayson. I wouldn’t mind a darker side to you.”
My eyes narrowed when I looked at her.
She pulled out the cards and started to shuffle them. “Can I ask you something personal?”
“Like I said, you can ask me anything.”
“Were you like this with your other girls?”
“Like what?”
“Sweet, considerate, compassionate…stuff like that.”
When I remembered my time with Jasmine, I knew the answer. “No. I was a dick most of the time.”
“I can’t picture it…” She shuffled the cards again and started to deal.
“I’m only sweet to you, Skye. Honestly, I’m not that great of a guy. I have a lot of regrets.”
“Like what?” She placed the deck on the table and looked at me.
This was a new realm for her and I. “Jasmine is one of them.”
She stared at me, waiting for me to go on.
“I told her we were just…” It was hard to find an appropriate description. I watched my language around Skye, being a gentleman. “Someone to pass the time with. Our relationship was only physical but she always wanted something more. I told her I couldn’t give it to her. But then she told me she loved me…and that I was the one to her.”
Emotion flashed in her eyes but she said nothing.
“I wish I’d never gotten involved with her. I know firsthand what it’s like to love someone you can’t have. I never wanted that to happen to her…but it did.”
She stared at the cards in front of us, considering my words. “It’s hard not to fall in love with you, Cayson. I’m not surprised. I’m sure it happens more often than you think.”
Did that mean she was in love with me? I knew she loved me but…was it the same? “Do you have any regrets?”
She smirked. “I think it’s pretty obvious what my biggest regret is.”
Zack. She didn’t need to say it. “Any others?”
She pulled her hair over one shoulder, revealing her slender neck. It caught my eye immediately. “You.”
“Me?” What did she mean?
“I wish I had realized how I felt before…all the time we wasted.”
“We have the rest of our lives, Skye. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
She gave me a slight smile before she dropped it. “There are a few things here and there but nothing major. I never really had a serious boyfriend when I was younger because my dad would have shot them.”
I chuckled. “Yeah…I could see that happening.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m glad you aren’t scared of my dad.”
“Who said I wasn’t?” I teased.
“He loves you.”
“Yeah. But that could change if I crossed a line.”
She stared at me across the table. “But you never would.”
Snow was falling lightly outside. The windowpanes were starting to frost. She and I were alone in winter bliss. I treasured the silence, feeling like we were secluded from the world. She was mine—and mine alone. “I’m glad you realize that.”
“I trust you more than anyone, Cayson. There’s no room for doubt.”
“I’m glad you feel that way.” Because I worked hard for that trust. I stared at the skin of her neck, wanting to press my lips against it. Her flesh would feel warm against my mouth. But there would be time for that later.
She grabbed her deck and looked at the cards. “How about we make it interesting?”
“What are you thinking?” I picked up my cards and looked through them. Uncle Mike taught me how to play and I was pretty good at it, definitely better than Skye. But I always let her win.
“Strip poker?” She ga
ve me a seductive grin.
That caught my attention. I wanted to see Skye naked all the time—ever since I hit puberty. “I’m game if you are.”
“I am too. But I’m going to be fully clothed while you’re naked.”
Not this time. “We’ll see.”
We started the round. I had a good hand and all I needed was to trade a single card. Skye thought she had a clever poker face, and maybe she fooled everyone else, but she couldn’t fool me. I’d studied her face for too many years, saw it in every dream, to not understand all of its secrets. She gave a quick smile, a fake one, and then traded a card.
She was bluffing.
“You ready?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to fold?”
“No.” I kept a stoic face, hiding everything.
“Alright…what item of clothing is this for?”
I immediately wanted to blurt “shirt” but I didn’t want Skye to know that, like every other guy, I was obsessed with her chest. “Shoes.”
“Okay…your feet are about to get cold.” She put down her cards. She had two pairs.
I smirked then put mine down. I had a full house.
She narrowed her eyes. “Lucky hand.”
“Yeah.” She was going down. “Now take off those boots.”
She yanked them off then tossed them aside.
“Those socks will be next.”
“Don’t get cocky,” she warned.
Too late.
We played another round. Skye pulled her typical tricks on me but I didn’t let them slide. My hand beat hers—easily.
“Now take those socks off.” I stared at her, waiting for her to comply.
She sighed then pulled them off.
I smirked. I was loving this.
“Your luck has run out.” She dealt the cards again and we picked up our piles. I had a bad hand but I knew how to play it cool. I only traded one card instead of all five.
Skye watched me, studying my face. Then she looked back at her hand.
“For the pants?” I asked.
She seemed unsure. Then she put her cards down. “I fold.”
I smirked. “Someone is dropping the ball.”