by E. L. Todd
I guess I would be a little jealous…”I see your point.”
“I’m really not the jealous type,” he admitted. “But…something about you having a meaningless relationship with a guy gets under my skin. You’re such a treasure and you don’t deserve to be used and treated like garbage.”
It was what I wanted to hear my whole life. It was something I wanted Slade to say to me. I felt like I wasn’t special or anything more than a pretty face. It seemed like no guy wanted to get to know me, to listen to my thoughts or dreams. Reid was the first guy that wanted to take me to dinner then drop me off. Most guys felt like they were entitled to sex because they bought me dinner.
He left his fork on the table and stopped touching it. “I’m sorry. I think I overstepped my boundaries. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, it’s okay…”
“I know I’m supposed to play the game everyone plays. I’m supposed to act like I don’t care and I’m not really into you. But I hate playing games and I think they’re childish.”
It was like a breath of fresh air. “No, don’t worry about it.”
“What you do in your personal life is none of my business. I shouldn’t have stuck my nose in it—at least not yet,” he said.
“I’d rather you care than not care.”
His eyes lightened in response.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked.
“Certainly.”
“Have you had a similar arrangement?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I’ve had one-night stands, which made me feel worse the next morning than I did in the beginning, but I’ve never had a purely physical relationship with one person before.”
That was the response I was hoping for. “I’m surprised you don’t have girls swarming all over you.”
“I never said I didn’t.” He gave me a cute grin then winked.
I laughed at this playfulness.
“I’m kidding,” he said. “I’m very selective with my women now. When I was younger, that wasn’t the case. I took any pretty girl on my sheets. But now that I’m older and I’ve had a serious relationship, I realize what I want.”
“Which is…?”
“I want to settle down. I’ll be thirty soon and I would like to have a few kids by then. When I was younger, I dreaded getting old because being married sounded dreadful, but now I feel completely different. I want a best friend to share my life with. Obviously…you and I probably don’t have the same agenda. You’re so young and full of life. And I’m…much older than you. But I don’t want to stop seeing you because I really like you.”
I didn’t know what to say. Settling down was exactly what I wanted. I wasn’t obsessed with the idea of marriage, but I was jealous of what Skye had with Cayson. I wanted that warmth and intimacy. I wanted a guy that loved me for me. Being single and dating losers wasn’t exactly fun. I knew I hit rock bottom when I decided to let Slade use me over and over. It was a stupid decision. “I feel the same way.”
“About what?” he asked.
“About settling down. I know I’m a little young but I’m done fooling around. I want something serious.”
He nodded his head slowly. “I’m glad to hear that. Maybe that’s the direction we can head in…once we get to know each other a little bit better.” He sipped his wine again.
That’s it. I’m only dating older men from this point onward. I’m sick of young dirt bags. “Yeah, we’ll see.”
The waitress brought our food and placed it in front of us. “Enjoy.”
We dug in.
Reid ate with perfect manners. He kept his elbows off the table and his napkin in his lap. “Any new developments with your fashion?”
“I just do sketches here and there.”
“Have you shown your father?”
“No. I think I will next time we have breakfast.”
“Breakfast?” he asked.
“My dad comes down every other Sunday and we go to this same diner we’ve been going to for years. I always order the same thing, a waffle, and he teases me about it.”
“He drives two hours every time?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah…” Was that odd?
He continued to eat his food. “That’s really sweet.”
“I think my dad just wants to check on me. It’s probably the best way for him to see how I’m doing.”
“And I’m sure he loves spending time with you,” Reid said.
“Well, obviously.” I gave him a playful smirk. “Why wouldn’t he?”
Reid chuckled. “My sister isn’t close with my dad. Actually, she’s not close with either of my parents. They never got along.”
“But you’re close with her?”
“Apparently, I’m the only person she likes,” he said with a laugh.
“You’re very likeable.”
He grinned at me. “Thanks.”
“So, who was your friend the other night?”
He hit his forehead playfully. “I never introduced you, did I? I swear I’m not normally that rude. You just caught me off guard.”
“It’s okay.” I loved how upbeat he was.
“That was Hank, a friend I grew up with. He had his eye on your friend, Skye.”
“Well, good thing he didn’t go for it since she’s taken.”
“The pretty ones usually are.” He finished his food then placed his napkin on the table.
“Damn, you eat fast.”
He laughed. “My mom always told me I inhale my food.”
“She wasn’t exaggerating.”
“And you eat very slow,” he noted.
“I can’t shovel food into my mouth and talk at the same time like you can.”
“It’s a lost art,” he joked.
“My brother can though.”
“He sounds like a swell guy,” Reid said with enthusiasm.
“He actually goes to school with me. He’s a year younger.”
He nodded. “That’s cool. Are you close?”
“Not really,” I answered. “I mean, we hang out with the same people but we don’t spend time together one-on-one. And we usually fight whenever we’re in the same room for too long.”
Reid had a slight smirk on his lips. “Well, that sounds about right.”
“But I know he cares about me…even though he acts like he doesn’t most of the time.”
“What makes you say that?” he asked.
I recalled the night where I almost took a spiked drink. When Conrad tracked me down, he seemed concerned. My brother wasn’t an emotional guy, so the fact he acknowledged any feelings toward me was a big deal. “He’s been there for me when I least expected it.”
“Brothers tend to act like jerks, but they usually have a heart of gold underneath.”
“Yeah…” I picked at my food then finished eating. I couldn’t possibly eat another bite.
“Looks like you’ll have leftovers later,” he noted.
“Sorry, I’ve never been much of an eater.”
“Don’t apologize,” he said with a chuckle. “I was only teasing you. You have a beautiful figure because you take care of yourself.”
I liked that he complimented my appearance without using vulgar descriptions. Slade always said I had a nice rack or my ass looked good in my jeans. The one time he said I was beautiful was just a fluke.
Reid seemed like the perfect guy, so how did his ex let him go? If I were her, I would have fought for him with tooth and nail. “Can I ask you a personal question?” I asked.
“Ask me anything, Trinity,” he said. “I’m an open book.”
“What happened with your last girlfriend?”
“Oh that.” He rested his arms by his sides, making his shoulders look broad. “She and I dated for a few years. It was pretty serious. We were actually living together. But the longer we spent time together, the more I realized she wasn’t entirely what I thought she was. For instance, she started being more controlling about what I di
d and who I spent time with. She was hostile when I didn’t take out the garbage or clean up the dishes in the sink. It was just stuff like that. I understood her point of view but she would get so upset that it became a really intimidating environment. The sex started to get bad, and eventually, I was unhappy altogether. When I told her this and tried to talk about it, she argued with me and wouldn’t let me get a word in. So I ended our relationship. When that happened, her attitude changed and she asked for another chance. But by then, I wasn’t even in love with her anymore. There was too much resentment there.” He shrugged. “So I left.”
I was expecting someone to cheat or someone to lie. But I guess it was common for relationships to end that way.
“I know it sounds like something not worth breaking up over, and it’s really not. But, I was just unhappy. Since we weren’t married, I didn’t want to force something if I didn’t have to. Love should be spontaneous and wonderful. And it seemed like she cared more about how clean her dishes were than keeping that aspect alive.”
“Have you dated anyone else since?”
“I’ve seen a few girls casually but nothing serious. I wouldn’t even qualify it as dating, more like friends just hanging out. I haven’t really asked out a girl until I set my eyes on you.”
If he hadn’t been single for a year, I might not even consider dating him. Being someone’s rebound was no fun.
He seemed to read my mind. “I’m over my ex. Out of respect for our three-year relationship, I haven’t been with anyone for a year. Believe me, she’s no longer in my heart or thoughts.”
“I’m just sorry you had to go through that.”
He rubbed the thin stubble on his chin. “Relationships fall apart regularly. I don’t think that necessarily means it failed. Sometimes you need more than just love to stay together. You need friendship, trust, understanding, and passion. Those four things are more important than love itself. Which is why I’m looking for a beautiful girl who’s also funny and easy-going. You seem to have both of those qualities.”
I felt my cheeks blush even though I wish they wouldn’t.
“Have you ever been in a serious relationship?”
I immediately thought of Slade. We didn’t just have sex. We spent time together and told each other secrets we never revealed to anyone else. We got along great and had a wonderful time together. Even when we were done with the fun stuff, I still liked to be around him. I would count that as a relationship but I knew Slade wouldn’t. Sometimes I wondered what would happen if we really did give our relationship a chance. But then I remembered how Slade was. He wasn’t just the sensitive and caring guy that I saw when we were alone. He was also the asshole he projected to everyone else. He was vulgar and harsh. He would never give me the romance and love I wanted. So, did he qualify as a relationship? I guess not. “No.”
He nodded. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I was just curious.”
Was that something I should be embarrassed about? I was almost done with college and I never had a serious boyfriend? What was wrong with me? Maybe men weren’t the problem. Maybe I was the problem…
The tab arrived at the table and Reid immediately slipped his cash inside. I would offer to pay for my own meal or at least the tip but I wasn’t sure if that was proper etiquette. The only man who took me out for a nice meal was my father. I had nothing else to compare it to. “Are you finished?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
After I got a to-go box, we left the restaurant and got into his Range Rover. The heater was on and it was nice and warm. I leaned my head back and watched the lights pass by.
“Where do you live?” I asked.
“I live in Boston. I have an apartment there.”
“Do you have any roommates?”
“No. Do you?”
“No.”
“That house is all for you?” he asked while he drove.
“My dad didn’t want me to live in an apartment. He said he doesn’t think they are safe enough.”
He smirked. “You’re still tucked under his wing.”
“I am not,” I argued.
“Hey, it’s not an insult so don’t be offended. I think every father should treat his daughter that way—like a princess. He sets good standards of what you should expect from your husband.”
Yet I completely ignored them. I let guys treat me like dirt, Slade in particular. “Yeah…”
He pulled into my driveway then walked me to my door. His hands were in his pockets and it seemed like he wasn’t going to make a move. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or sad about that. “I had a great time tonight.”
“I did too.” I faced him, feeling my heart beat in my chest.
He scratched the back of his head. “I’ve refrained from kissing you because I just don’t trust myself. I’m very attracted to you and I don’t think I’d be able to stop.”
My heart fluttered.
“Can I take you out again? I know I’m an old man but—”
“I like old men.”
He chuckled. “Good. I was hoping so.”
“And I’d love to go out with you again.”
“Excellent. How about Monday? I know it’s a school night but—”
“I don’t do my homework anyway.”
He smirked. “You’re a dedicated student…”
“I’ll see you then, Reid.”
“Yeah.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I look forward to it.”
“Me too.”
“Have a good night.”
“You too.” I didn’t want him to leave but I couldn’t invite him inside.
He walked back to his car then drove away.
After he was out of sight, I finally walked inside and tried not to think about how much time I wasted with Slade.
47
Slade
“Where does Skye think you’re going this weekend?”
Cayson looked uncomfortable. “My parents.”
“Um…don’t you think there’s a good possibility she’ll know you’re lying?”
“I asked my dad to cover for me.”
“What?” I spat. “No questions asked?”
Cayson nodded. “My dad trusts me and knows I wouldn’t have asked him to lie for me unless I had a good reason.”
“Did you tell him what the good reason was?”
“No. If I told him about Stanford, he’d make me go.”
“Understandably…”
We got to the airport then checked in our bags. Then we waited at the gate for our flight to board.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was Trinity. I hadn’t seen her much this week because she always said she was busy or had homework. I thought it was odd but I didn’t press her on it. Whenever we were around each other and everyone else, she seemed normal.
Can I see you?
She never asked me that before. She didn’t even talk in code. Is everything all right?
I’m fine. I just want to talk to you.
About what? Well, I’m at the airport right now.
The airport? Why?
I’m leaving for the weekend. Shit, what was I going to tell her? I couldn’t tell her I was with Cayson because she would tell Skye. I had to think of something quick.
Where the hell are you going?
Uh…think. My dad and I are going to this tattoo festival in California. It was the only thing I could think of.
She seemed to accept it. Oh. When will you be back?
Monday. Are you sure everything is alright?
Yeah, I just wanted to talk. But it can wait.
What can wait? What did she want to talk about? Why can’t you just tell me now?
I want to talk in person.
Oh no. I knew what that meant. Anytime a girl wanted to ‘talk,’ it was because she wanted something more. They wanted a commitment and for me to ‘show that I care’ and be more affectionate and blah blah. I thought Trinity was cool with our arrangement, but like everyone else, she wanted somethin
g more. Pretending to sleep with that girl totally backfired. The whole point of that was to keep Trinity off my back, not make her want me more. Maybe she was jealous and wanted me to be monogamous with her. That wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I didn’t want to sleep with anyone anyway. But I feared what it would lead to. Then she would want me to drop the L bomb and be romantic and crap. I couldn’t do any of that. Unsure what to text back, I didn’t say anything at all.
“You okay, man?” Cayson asked.
“Yeah.” I stuffed my phone back in my pocket. “I’m good.”
We got to the university two hours early just in case we got lost. After roaming the endless halls in search of the right area, we finally located the correct offices where they were conducting the interviews.
Cayson sat down then fidgeted with his tie. He was wearing his nicest suit. It was black and pressed. I knew Cayson hated wearing suits and I didn’t blame him. But this interview seemed pretty formal.
I wore jeans and a t-shirt like always. I wasn’t being interviewed for anything so I didn’t see the point in dressing up.
Cayson was absolutely silent and he looked pale as a ghost.
“Dude, you’re going to be fine.”
He took a deep breath. “Maybe I shouldn’t even do this.”
“We flew all the way here and now we’re just a few feet away. You may as well go through with it.”
“But maybe not knowing if I got in would be better. I wouldn’t have any regrets.”
Now I didn’t understand his meaning at all. “Cayson, just calm down. You’re the smartest bro I know. You’re going to rock that interview and make them fall in love with you. And when you get in, you can brag about it to every person you know.”
He moved his hand toward his hair but I grabbed it and yanked it down.
“Don’t touch your hair!”
“Sorry.” He pulled his hand away.
I smoothed out the arms of his suit. “Don’t mess anything up.”
“Are you my mom now?” he snapped.
“Just be calm, alright? Tell me something about Skye.”
“Skye?” He raised an eyebrow. “Why her?”
“Because you love to talk about her.” I rolled my eyes.