by E. L. Todd
We drove to the burger joint in Boston then stepped inside.
“This place smells good—better than those roses.”
“They should make burger a smell for cologne,” I said.
She laughed. “So many guys would wear it.”
“Maybe I should invent that.” I rubbed my chin then stepped toward the menu. “What are you getting?”
“The number one.”
“Alright.” I stepped forward and ordered for both of us then I paid for it. After I grabbed our food, I put the trays down at a table then pulled out the chair for her.
She smiled then sat down. “This is turning out to be a nice date.”
“I told you I was fun.”
She bit into her burger and took small bites. Her shoulders were sculpted and round, and her stomach was tight with muscle.
“What type of exercise do you do?” I asked.
“I do weights and I run.”
“It shows.” I stuffed eight fries into my mouth at the same time.
She smirked while she eyed me. “Hungry?”
“What gave me away?”
She picked at her food, barely eating half of her meal.
“That was pathetic,” I teased. “My sister could do laps around you.”
“And your sister has a metabolism that scientists can never explain,” she said with a laugh.
“It’s going to catch up with her and then Cayson will be sorry.”
“He would love her anyway.” She said it without bitterness or resentment. Was it just because I was there? She felt bad saying something bad about my sister?
“Do you hate her?” I asked seriously.
“No. Why would I?”
I cocked an eyebrow. “I thought that reason would be obvious…”
She shook her head. “Cayson told me from the beginning he loved her, and I accepted that condition. Honestly, I was hoping she would never notice him and he would just get over her. Then I would get my way.” She shrugged. “But things don’t always work out the way you want.”
“Because if you hate her guts, you can tell me. I promise I won’t say anything to her.”
Confusion spread across her face. “I was always under the impression you were loyal to your sister.”
“I am,” I said immediately. “But I understand the situation.”
“From what I hear, it sounds like she does things that imply she doesn’t appreciate him… I guess that’s one thing I don’t like about her. Sometimes I feel like she doesn’t deserve him. It seemed like she only cared about him when he was interested in someone else. Sounds a little bratty to me. Honestly, how could she be oblivious to his feelings for her for so long? I’m not buying it.”
I shrugged, understanding her point of view. “I told her a million times, but she never believed me. My sister is really stupid. I honestly think she didn’t understand his feelings.”
“But she isn’t stupid, Roland. She’s a very intelligent woman.”
“She still has airhead moments.”
She picked at her fries. “I’m happy Cayson got the girl of his dreams. I just hope she spends every day making him happy, because he deserves it.”
I eyed her for a moment. “What’s so special about him? He’s just a good-looking guy.”
She laughed. “He’s so much more than that and you know it.”
“Because he’s smart? Because he’s funny?”
“No, because he’s loyal and honest. He treated me with nothing but respect and told me the truth even if it was painful. He was always gentle with me, putting me before himself in every instance. He’s one of a kind. I’ve never met someone so perfect in my life.”
She was clearly still in love with him. “Even after all this time you still feel the same way?” I asked incredulously. Maybe since I was a dude, I didn’t see what was so special about Cayson. I respected him and approved of him for my sister, but I didn’t think he was dreamy.
“I’ll always feel this way,” she said sadly.
Since I’d never been in love, I guess I didn’t understand. I thought I was too young to understand such a powerful emotion. I’d read about it in books and literature, but never in my life had I experienced something that remotely resembled that. Perhaps I wasn’t meant to fall in love. Or perhaps I was just too young. Either way, it wouldn’t matter to me if it never happened. It just seemed to cause more pain than joy anyway. “I’m sure you’ll meet someone else way better than Cayson.”
She laughed. “Sure.”
“There are other good guys out there.”
“I have yet to meet one.”
I waved a hand in front of her face. “Um, hello?”
She laughed again. “Roland, you’re a good guy but…not in the way women want.”
“Well, I get laid all the time so I must be doing something right.”
“Maybe for your looks. But women want more than that.”
I knew that too well.
“I can tell you have a heart of gold. I think you’ll be a dreamy guy someday. I just don’t think you’re ready for that—which is totally fine. Enjoy your youth. Everyone goes through reckless stages.”
“I’m only this way because I’ve never met anyone who made me feel something more.” I shrugged. “So why should I force something? I should just let it happen. If it never does, that’s fine.”
She nodded. “I agree. Unfortunately, we live in a society that expects us to pair off with a mate, and if we don’t, there’s something wrong with us. I know that too well…”
I finished my food then pushed it aside. “How do go-carts sound?”
She smiled. “Like, on a track?”
I nodded. “You want to race?”
“That depends,” she said. “You want to lose?”
I laughed. “Wow…someone’s cocky.”
“I have something to be cocky about.”
Jasmine wasn’t kidding. She was good.
She passed me for a second time on the track, hugging the curb and cutting me off.
“Damn!” I hit the steering wheel and tried to get around her again.
She stuck her tongue out at me. “Sucker!”
I hit the gas then maneuvered around her. “How do you like that?” I yelled.
She leaned into the turn and gained speed. When we were out of sight from the attendants, she swerved into my car, making it shake, and immediately slowed down. “I play dirty, in case you didn’t notice.”
I gripped the steering wheel so I wouldn’t lose control. “Jerk!”
“What are you going to do about it?” She sped off then crossed the finish line first.
Man, she creamed me.
I pulled the car into the enclosure then removed my helmet before I got out.
“Good thing you didn’t bet money.” She pulled her helmet off and flipped her hair.
The attendant immediately noticed her, his eyes lingering on the curves of her body.
“Thanks for being so humble about your win,” I said bitterly.
“Awe, you’re a poor sport.”
“I let you win,” I argued.
She laughed. “Sure.”
We left the park then got back to my car. “Where did you learn to race like that?” I asked.
“My brother and I used to do stuff like that all the time.” She looked out the window while we headed home.
“You have a brother?” I thought Cayson said she was alone.
“Well, I did. We lost contact a long time ago.” There was no sadness or bitterness in her voice.
How was that even possible? “What do you mean?”
“Well, my parents were shitty and abusive. Hamilton is older than me, so he took off when he was young. I never saw or heard from him again. A year later, I ran away too.”
“So, you never knew what happened to him?”
“No.”
My sister and I butted heads a lot, but if she ran away, I’d spend my life trying to find her. We argued and said
mean things to each other, but I loved her, and I knew she loved me. I couldn’t imagine if I lost her from my life—forever. “I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay. I’m sure he’s in a good place.”
“Cayson said you were an only child…”
“I tell people that when I don’t want to get into the specifics. Cayson is the type of person that aches when someone else is in pain. I wanted to spare him from the truth.”
Well, it hurt me too… “Have you ever tried to find him?”
“No. If he wanted to see me, he would have reached out to me. He clearly doesn’t care.”
“But if you did all those things together, you were obviously close.” Right?
She shrugged. “Things change. Hardships and pain change people.”
“If my sister ran away, I wouldn’t stop searching for her until I found her.”
She gave me a soft look. “Well, maybe he tried and he was unsuccessful. I guess I’ll never know.”
“Well, if you—”
“Roland, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” There was no anger in her voice.
I shut my mouth and turned on the radio.
She stared out the window, watching the city pass by.
“I had a good time with you today.”
Jasmine turned back to me. “I did too.”
“If you ever want to hang out, just give me a call.”
“Well, since you’re Skye’s brother, I think that would be a conflict of interest…”
“I’m not betraying her by hanging out with you. I’m not trying to get you back together with Cayson. If she had a problem with it, I’d tell her to go to hell.”
“I’d still rather not make problems for Cayson. When I ran into him at that bar, I could tell Skye wasn’t happy.”
“Cayson put her in her place. She was being immature and she knew it.”
Her eyes widened. “He was upset with Skye over that?”
“Yeah. He said Skye was rubbing her victory in your face—and he didn’t like that.”
“I don’t think she was doing that,” she whispered. “I think she just wanted to mark her territory. Honestly, I would have done the same thing.”
We arrived at her apartment and walked to her front door. She pulled her keys out of her purse then stood still.
“Well, thanks for taking me out. I haven’t had fun on a date since Cayson.”
“Cayson isn’t fun. He’s boring as hell.”
She smiled. “He’s a great guy. But so are you.”
“I hope I made amends for what I did. You’re a really cool person and I enjoy spending time with you.”
“You did, Roland. I appreciate all the effort you put in.”
Now what? Do I hug her? I was fearful of touching her because I didn’t want to give her the wrong impression. And I also didn’t want to piss off Cayson.
She leaned forward then wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me.
I reciprocated the touch and felt her face against my chest.
When she pulled away, she placed a kiss on my cheek. “Whoever does become your wife is a lucky lady.”
I smiled, feeling the warmth flood through my stomach. “Thanks. But make sure you tell her that, because I’m sure she’s going to get tired of putting up with me.”
She walked inside. “I don’t think so.”
Then she shut the door.
“How was Greece?” I stared at my mom across the table. The coffeehouse was practically empty. Students were hovered over their books in corners, and every once in a while, the blender would go off, making someone’s drink.
She sighed in happiness. “A dream.”
“What did you guys do there?” I realized the error of my mistake immediately. “I mean, did you see the Parthenon?”
She understood my meaning even though she had the grace to ignore it. “We did. It was beautiful. Then we went wine tasting and sightseeing. We hit the beach and felt the white sand on our fingertips. It was truly amazing, somehow more amazing than our first honeymoon.”
“That’s cool. Glad to hear it.”
“And there was no one there because it was during the off-season.”
“Even better,” I said.
“The flight was brutal.”
“What did you do on the flight?”
A smirk stretched her lips while she pondered my question. “Slept, mostly.”
“Cool.” I sipped my coffee then stared outside. Spring was warming the land, taking away the ice and the cold. I preferred summer and spring. I had no idea why some people loved the winter. It was too damn cold to do anything but ski.
“I’m glad you and Cayson made up.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Took him long enough to get over it.”
She laughed. “Sometimes it takes longer for others to forgive.”
“Like years,” I mumbled.
She laughed again. “Cayson is a wonderful human being. He’s just more sensitive than others, but that’s not a bad thing.” She stared at me for a long time, her coffee untouched. She seemed to be reliving a memory I couldn’t see. “Have you seen Jasmine since…the last time you saw her?”
“Actually, yes. I took her on a date last weekend.”
Her eyes widened. “Am I missing something…?”
“It wasn’t a real date. I just wanted to take her out to make up for the way I treated her before. We went out to dinner then rode go-carts. It was pretty fun.”
“Cayson was okay with this?”
“Yeah, I asked him before.”
Tension left her shoulders. “That was very sweet of you, Ro.”
“I didn’t mind. It made me feel better. And I think it made her feel better too, even if she’ll never admit it.”
“I’m sure it did.”
“And she’s really cool. She actually beat me on the track.” I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. “Can you believe that?”
“Yeah, I beat you too.”
Why did she have to remind me? “It’s still very odd.”
“Looks like this girl knows how to take the road.”
“She does.” I relived our conversation. “But she’s still hung up on Cayson…”
“It’s understandable. Cayson is remarkable.”
“But…I don’t get it. If he doesn’t love her, why won’t she just move on, you know?”
My mom glanced out the window for a moment before she turned back to me. “It’s not that easy, Ro. When I left your father for six months, I never got over him, even though I had every motivation to.”
“But Dad is different.”
“I don’t see how,” she said simply.
“Cayson is in love with Skye. And Jasmine knows that.”
“It doesn’t change how her heart feels.”
I shrugged. “I just feel like she’s wasting her time mourning a guy who never loved her. She would save time just by moving on.”
My mom pressed her lips together and said nothing more on the topic. I guess both of us talking about Jasmine was a conflict of interest. Probably neither one of us should like Jasmine because of Skye, but that wasn’t in our nature.
“How’s school going?” she asked.
“Fine. Boring. Whatever.”
Her mouth stretched into a grin. “Interesting way to describe it.”
“I guess I’ve never been super invested in school. But you’ve always known that.”
“I’ve never understood why.” My mom was always so calm all the time. A lot of my comments would upset any parent, but she always listened to the full story before she gave a reaction. Sometimes I thought she should be a psychologist instead of an editor. My dad was like a volcano, going off at any time, but my mom was like a cold mountain, always staying exactly the same all year round.
“Skye is super interested in the discipline, but I guess I’m not.”
My mom rested one arm on the table. “What are you interested in, Ro?”
I’d never told her.
I wasn’t sure if I should. “Books.”
“Books?” she asked. “Reading them? Writing them?”
“Both.” I gripped my cup but didn’t raise the glass to my lips.
Her eyes widened slightly as emotion passed through, but then it disappeared. Serenity and calm emitted from her. “Have you written anything?”
“A few short stories…a book here and there.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “I had no idea…”
“It’s stupid… I guess I was embarrassed.”
“Why would you be embarrassed about that?” she asked quietly. “I think that’s wonderful.”
“You do?”
She nodded. “What do you write about?”
“Well, I wrote a fantasy novel about dragons and dwarves…I wrote a horror story…all sorts of stuff.”
My mom rested her chin on her hand. “Can I read them?”
I knew she would ask this. “Uh…I don’t know.”
She didn’t pressure me, only stared.
“I’ve never shown anyone before… I doubt they’re even good.”
“How will you know unless you ask?”
“Well, obviously you’re going to like them because you’re my mom. So, you aren’t the best person to ask.”
“I can ask your aunt Janice.”
“No,” I said immediately. “Don’t show her. She would rip it apart.”
“Then let me read it. I’ll give you honest feedback. Remember, I do this for a living.”
“I don’t know…if you hate it, I might stop altogether.”
She rested her hand on top of mine. “I understand your fear. It takes a lot of courage to put your thoughts and ideas onto paper to be judged anonymously by other people. Believe me, I get it. But I will be honest with you but not demoralize you. And I have a strong feeling your stories won’t be bad.”
“To you, maybe…”
“So, you’ll let me read them?” Her hand still rested on mine.
“I guess.”
She smiled triumphantly, excitement in her eyes. “Thank you, Ro. I’m really looking forward to it.”
“Don’t tell Dad,” I said immediately.
“Why?” she asked. “Your father loves to read too.”
“I just…I don’t want his disapproval.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “Why would he disapprove? Your father thinks everything you do is amazing, Roland. I’m not sure why you think otherwise.”