by E. L. Todd
“God, why? Not her…” I covered my face with my hands.
My dad pulled me into a hug and held me close, his hand on the back of my head. “I got you…”
“I can’t lose her…”
“I can’t lose her either.” His voice was full of emotion.
I clung to him, not ashamed to admit a girl had brought me to tears.
He rubbed my back gently while he held me, hiding the depth of my feelings from everyone else in the room. “She’s a strong girl. And she’s a fighter.”
I knew that too well. “You think she’s going to be okay, Dad?”
“I don’t know, son. But I hope so.”
Minutes passed while he held me. I finally stopped crying and wiped my tears away. Even though I stopped, I wanted to keep going. Never in my life had I felt pain like this. It was worse than physical trauma or betrayal. It had a whole different category.
My dad finally dropped his arms, letting me stand on my own. “I’m here.”
“I know.” I used my sleeve to wipe the last of the moisture away.
“Now we just wait until she comes back.”
If she comes back.
My dad turned back to the door and walked with me. “Do you want to wait out here?”
I nodded then slid to the floor outside the door. I couldn’t see my family, see their tears. It would just make me break down all over again.
“I need to be with your mom right now. But you know where to find me.”
I nodded.
He placed his hand on my shoulder before he walked inside.
An hour later, feet echoed down the hallway.
Conrad walked with Roland, his face in tears. He ran into the room, searching for his sister.
I overheard the words he said. It was the exact same conversation I’d just had with my father but with his.
More footsteps came, and I recognized familiar voices.
“Go inside,” Cayson said. “I’ll talk to him.”
Everyone crammed inside the room.
I remained on the floor.
Cayson slid to the floor beside me but didn’t speak. He just sat with me, staring at the opposite wall. He had no idea how I felt about Trinity, that she had quickly become everything to me. As far as he was concerned, we felt the same way.
“I’m here if you need me,” he whispered. He still didn’t look at me.
“Same here.” I hid the emotion from my voice.
“I brought you Snow Caps.” He handed the box to me.
I wasn’t in the mood to eat because Trinity was fighting for her life at this very moment. But I took the box anyway. “Thanks.”
I breathed through the pain and tried not to give in to the fear. Time passed, but it moved so slowly. I needed to know if she was okay, that she would survive. If that didn’t happen…if I lost her…I didn’t know if I could go on.
When they rolled Trinity into the room, I got to my feet.
She was asleep, hooked up to wires and an IV pole. She looked so helpless in the massive bed. Bandages covered her wounds, and she was so beat-up she was hardly recognizable. I almost broke down again at the sight.
Mike immediately grabbed her hand and so did Cassandra.
Conrad didn’t bother to cover his face as his tears fell.
The doctor held the clipboard in his hand. “The surgery went well. I repaired the internal organs and cleaned up the extra leakage. She was given two liters of blood because she lost so much. The fracture in her leg was mended, but she’ll need serious physical therapy if she ever wants it to return to normal.”
Mike nodded. “So, she’s going to be okay?”
“I’m hopeful. As long as there are no complications from the surgery, she’ll make a full recovery.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Mike said.
He nodded then left the room.
Mike kissed Trinity on the forehead and a tear escaped his eye. It fell down his cheek.
Cassandra sobbed while she held her daughter’s hand.
Everyone remained silent, giving them as much privacy as possible.
I stood in the corner, wishing I were lying in that hospital bed instead of her. The idea of her being in so much pain made me sick. It took every ounce of strength not to kiss her on the forehead then her lips.
Mike and Cassandra hovered over Trinity for hours, constantly checking her and watching her monitor. Conrad stayed in the corner, unable to process his grief. Roland stood beside him, being a quiet companion. Cayson stayed beside me, sitting still and keeping his silence. No one left, even though there was no point in staying. Like in every other time of trial, our family clung together and didn’t leave a single member behind.
Hours later, Trinity’s hand moved slightly.
I noticed it.
And so did Mike. “She’s waking up,” he whispered to Cassandra. “Give her some space. She’ll need a few moments to process what’s going on.”
They both let go of her hand and watched her.
Trinity didn’t open her eyes, but her hand moved again. She moved her lips, but nothing came out.
On the edge of our seats, we all waited.
Then Trinity spoke, her eyes still closed. “Slade?”
Everyone turned and looked at me, putting me on the spot. I felt their stares burn into my skin. No one knew what it meant. No one understood why she was calling me. But I did.
I stood up then came to her bedside, feeling the tears break over the surface. I didn’t care who was there. Her father was just a foot away from me, watching every move I made. I was on display, unable to hide behind excuses and lies.
I took her hand and felt how cold it was.
“Slade?” She finally opened her eyes and looked at me.
More tears fell. “Trinity.” I leaned over her and pressed my face to hers. “I’m here.”
Her arms hooked around my neck and she pulled me close to her, clinging to me like she was terrified to be without me.
My hot tears fell onto her neck and I gave in to the sobs. I’d almost lost her, never having told her how I felt. She almost left my world, taking all the joy and happiness she brought me. A life without her was one I couldn’t even contemplate. I pulled away and looked into her eyes, seeing the tears that matched my own. “I love you, Trinity.”
She sobbed harder, but there was joy in her eyes. “I love you too.”
I kissed her and felt her warm tears on my lips. Salt was heavy and saturated. Then I sat at her bedside and kept my face close to hers, refusing to let go. I’d almost lost her, and I wouldn’t let it happen again.
I stayed at her bedside like a watchdog and never dropped my hand from hers. Even though she was okay, I was still scared. The feeling of loss still lingered in my veins. At any moment, I could break down and sob from the pain.
Trinity brushed her thumb over my knuckles, her touch light.
I brought it to my lips and kissed it, being openly tender and loving with her. I’d just confessed my undying love for her to everyone in that room. So, there was no point in dulling my affection or pretending she didn’t mean anything to me.
Because she meant everything to me.
When I looked up, her father was staring at me. His eyes were guarded and unreadable. I had no idea what he was thinking. Perhaps he hated me. Perhaps he planned to kill me at the first opportunity. But it didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to leave Trinity’s side. My death would have to wait.
Like a man, I met his gaze for a few seconds before I looked back at Trinity. I could only imagine how confused everyone was. All my friends were probably blindsided by the confession. No one had any idea that Trinity and I had a relationship that lasted over six months. It was a lot to process.
Mike held her other hand. “Are you feeling okay, honey?”
“I’m fine, Dad. But thanks.”
He ran his fingers through her hair then dropped his touch. “I’m so glad you’re alright.”
“I am too.”
/> He kissed her hand. “I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost you…”
“I love you, Dad.” Her tears glistened as she dropped my hand then leaned over to hug her father.
He wept while he held her, not ashamed to show his emotions to everyone who meant something to him.
And that made him more of a man than he was before.
“My girl…” He pulled away and kissed her forehead. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she said again.
Her mother hugged her next, unable to stop crying. “You’re going to be okay, Trinity. Don’t be scared.”
“I know, Mom…”
When they broke apart, Conrad came to her and hugged her tighter than everyone else. “I’m sorry I’m so mean to you all the time. I don’t mean to be like that… I love you.”
She hugged him back. “I know… I love you too.”
“You’re the best sister anyone could ask for.”
“And you’re the best brother.”
When he looked at her, the tears were forming. “I’m so glad you’re okay…I was so scared.”
“I was scared too.”
“You aren’t ugly,” he blurted. “You’re beautiful.”
She smiled. “Thanks…it’s nice to hear that for once.”
He smiled back. “I’ll be better from now on. I promise.”
“You were fine before, Conrad.”
“But I’ll be better. We’ll do stuff together from now on…spend time together.”
“I would love that.”
He nodded then moved back to his seat.
Everyone else came to her and showed her affection. I moved out of the way so people would have room. Even though it pained me to be away from her, I knew it was the right thing to do.
Cayson stood beside me then looked at me.
I knew what he was going to say. The last thing I wanted to do was deal with the drama my relationship with Trinity would cause.
He rested his hand on my shoulder. “I’m happy for you.”
That was not what I expected him to say. I looked at him in confusion.
“I knew you’d find someone that would change your life for the better. I just didn’t expect it to be her.” He smiled slightly then clapped me on the shoulder again.
“Thanks…”
“And I’m sorry I called you gay.”
For the first time in two days, I smiled. “Thanks.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. “Can I get you something to eat? Some coffee?”
“I’m okay. But thanks.”
“Let me know if you change your mind.”
My dad came to my other side then leaned close to me. “I knew it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Now isn’t the time to gloat…”
“It’s always the time to gloat.” He put his arm around my shoulders. “I’m proud of you, son. It takes courage to declare something like that in front of a room of people—especially her father.”
“I know I’m going to regret it later,” I said with a laugh.
“Well, I got your back if you need me.”
“Like you could take on Mike.”
“For my son, I could.” He headed back to my mom.
Skye sat beside Trinity and cried while she held her hand. “I don’t know what I would have done without you…”
“You’d have to find someone else to go shoe shopping with,” Trinity said, half laughing, half crying.
“Don’t ever say that again.” Skye hugged her hard and rocked her from left to right.
For the next few hours, everyone visited with Trinity, making her feel alive. I lingered in the back, giving her time and space to talk to everyone. All my aunts and uncles glanced at me, thinking exactly what I knew they were thinking. But none of them spoke to me, knowing it wasn’t the right time. And none of my friends teased me like I thought. They seemed to respect the moment and give me my space.
The nurse came inside and said visiting hours were over. Apparently, there were too many of us, so we were getting kicked out anyway. “Only four people allowed.”
Damn, that meant I had to leave. Mike, Cassandra, and Conrad would stay, and the fourth person would either be Sean or Scarlet. I guessed I could wait in the lobby.
“Out,” the nurse herded us like cattle.
I came to Trinity’s side to say goodbye. “I’ll wait in the lobby. I won’t leave the hospital until you do. Just call me if you need me.”
She grabbed my hand. “No, stay.”
I eyed her family then returned my gaze to her. “But—”
“Don’t leave,” she begged.
“I don’t want to leave…as long as I’m welcome to stay,” I whispered.
“Stay,” she said without hesitation.
I sat down then held her hand like before, feeling the tension in the room rise.
Her parents both eyed me but didn’t drill into me. Conrad glanced at me every few minutes but didn’t say anything.
It was awkward as hell.
But I wouldn’t leave Trinity as long as she wanted me here. I could deal with their quiet thoughts and discreet looks. I needed her hand in mine, to feel her next to me so I could remind myself she was okay.
Trinity turned to her parents. “You guys must be exhausted. Go get some sleep. I’ll be fine. And Slade will be here.”
“I’m not leaving.” Her father said it with such authority that Trinity didn’t argue with him.
Trinity turned to her mom. “I’ll be fine, really. Come back in the morning.”
Her mother seemed torn. “I guess your father and I can take shifts…”
Mike patted her thigh. “Take Conrad to a hotel and get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Cassandra still seemed unsure.
“She’ll be fine,” Mike said. “I’m here. And I won’t let anything happen to our daughter.”
That was enough to convince her. “Okay.” She leaned down and kissed Trinity. “I’ll be back in the morning.”
“Okay, Mom.”
Conrad hugged her before he left with their mom.
Now it was just Trinity, her father the gargoyle, and me.
He leaned back in his chair and eyed me next to her bed. All he did was stare but not speak.
If he thought that would intimidate me, he was wrong. I only squeezed Trinity’s hand tighter and refused to walk away, even for a second. I knew Mike loved me like his own son, and even if I murdered someone, that wouldn’t change, but when it came to his daughter, different rules applied. I’d crossed a line I could never uncross. He wasn’t stupid. He could figure out the kind of relationship we had, and a lot of sex was involved. The fact that I hadn’t asked his permission and kept it a secret didn’t help matters. There were so many assumptions he could make, and none of them worked in my favor.
Trinity picked up on the tension but didn’t say anything. Her hand remained in mine, and I had to make sure I didn’t touch any of the tubes that went into her body. “So…what now?” she asked quietly.
I suspected she’d waited until her mom was out of the room to ask this, knowing it would be too hard for a mother to listen to.
Her dad’s voice was low, like he was afraid talking too loudly would stress Trinity. “You’ll stay here for a few days then you’ll head home. After your leg heals, you’ll do physical therapy. I’ll come down to your house and take care of you and take you to class.”
“I can take care of her,” I blurted. I was with her all the time anyway. Why should Mike have to change his life around taking care of his daughter when I was perfectly capable of doing it, wanted to do it.
Mike narrowed his eyes at me. A few heartbeats of silence passed. “Can you?” It wasn’t a question, and it wasn’t a statement. It was a challenge, a cryptic jab. I knew exactly what he was saying, and it had nothing to do with Trinity’s recovery.
I didn’t back down. Mike would never accept me as her boyfriend unless I gave him a reason to.
“Yes.”
Trinity felt the tension elevate. “We’ll talk about it later…”
I tore my gaze away and looked at the TV in the corner. The screen was on with a soap opera, but the sound was off.
Mike crossed his ankle to his knee, his slacks coming up slightly and showing black socks and shiny dress shoes.
I kept my hand glued to Trinity’s, sitting vigil beside her, feeling the tension settle on me like a cloud from an incoming storm.
“Dad?” Trinity turned to him.
“What is it, honey?” He leaned forward, all his attention and focus on his most prized possession.
“Can you get me some juice from the cafeteria?”
I immediately knew it was a ploy so we could have some privacy. I knew how the conversation would go before we even had it.
His eyes shifted to mine for just a second before they moved back to hers. He knew exactly what she was doing. “Sure, honey. What kind?”
“Apple.”
“Coming right up.” He stood up and buttoned his jacket with a single hand, looking like a powerhouse in an Armani suit. His shoulders were thick and broad, and the muscles of his arms were still distinguishable. He silently threatened me with just a look and a stance.
I wasn’t scared.
He left the room, his footsteps receding until they disappeared.
I didn’t waste any time. I sat at the edge of her bed then leaned over her, taking her face in my hands. Words left me and I just stared at her. Trying to comfort me, she kissed me gently, moving to the corners of my mouth and the corners of my eyes.
Her hands moved over mine while she stared at me with bright eyes. “You love me?”
I nodded.
Victory shone in her eyes. “I thought you didn’t do the girlfriend thing?” Her eyes twinkled in mischief.
I smirked. “I never thought you would be the kind of girl to gloat.”
“I guess I am.”
“And I guess I am too.”
Her fingers moved over my knuckles and the sadness started to come into her gaze. “I was so scared I’d never get the chance to tell you…”
I took a deep breath, feeling the pain of my lungs. “Me too…”
“I’m so sorry I scared you.”
“Don’t apologize,” I said immediately. “It wasn’t your fault. I just wished I had come with you. Maybe things would have been different…”