by E. L. Todd
He hushed me and tried to stop my tears. He pressed a button on his desk and all the windows were covered with a black shield, protecting my privacy from people who passed by his office. “Pumpkin, it’ll be okay…”
I knew it wouldn’t. Nothing would ever be okay again.
My dad rubbed my back but said nothing else. He used to combat my demons and make all my boo-boos go away. Now he couldn’t fix the pain. He couldn’t put a bandage on this cut. It was too big. “For what it’s worth, you’re making the right decision. I know it doesn’t seem that way now, but you’ll realize it later. The skies are cloudy and the world is dark, but the sun will come out again. I can’t tell you when or how, but it will. Please believe me, Skye.”
“Without Cayson, there is no sun…for me.”
He wiped a tear away with his thumb. “This breakup doesn’t have to be forever…you can get back together later.”
I took a deep breath. “Yeah…but who knows if we will.”
“If it’s meant to happen, it will.” He kissed my forehead. “Have faith.”
I wiped my face with the back of my hand. “I don’t even know how I’m going to get him to go. Knowing him, he’ll just stay anyway. I won’t be able to convince him.”
“You’ll have to figure out a way, Skye.”
I leaned my head against my dad’s chest and closed my eyes, trying to forget about the pain and torment throbbing in my heart. I just wanted to think about nothing, to pretend that everything was okay. For a second, I cleared my mind and concentrated on my dad’s heartbeat. It was steady and strong, never faltering. I started to count. One…two…three…
Somehow, I fell asleep in his arms, too overcome with grief to stay awake.
Trinity stared at me with a winded look on her face. Minutes passed but she continued to be speechless. Several different reactions overcame her face, and her lips opened and closed several times.
Finally, she found the words. “This has to be a fucking joke.”
I wish it were.
She leaned over the table, like she might strangle me. “No. Out of the question.”
“I wish I had another option.”
“You do!” she screamed.
People in the coffee shop turned and looked at us, startled by Trinity’s outburst.
Trinity didn’t care. “Let him stay. It’s obviously what he wants to do.”
“But there’s nothing for him in New York.”
“Nothing?” she screamed again. “What about you?”
I knew this would be hard for her to take in. It was hard for me too. “Cayson deserves more. I can’t be selfish and let him stay just for me. He’s destined for something much greater. All I’m doing is holding him back and denying the world of his goodness.”
She wanted to slap me. “I know Stanford is the best of the best, but it’s just a school. If he goes to another college, he’ll still get a good education.”
“But Doctors Without Borders only takes the top one percent. He’ll never get in if he chooses a different college. I don’t want it to be this way either, but I wouldn’t have any right to claim I love him if I let him stay.”
“You guys are meant for each other. Don’t you understand that?” Her eyes were wide and crazed.
I tried not to cry. “You think this is easy for me?”
Her eyes softened. “Of course not. But there has to be another way. You can’t do this.”
“I have to…”
“But this is insane. If you go through this ridiculous plan, you’ll change everything about your relationship. He won’t see you the same way anymore. There’s no going back from this. You won’t even be a happy memory, just a mistake.”
“There’s no other way,” I said miserably. “If I ask him to leave, he won’t do it. He’ll follow me until the ends of the earth…unless I hurt him.”
She covered her face and took a deep breath before she looked at me again. “There has to be another way…this can’t be the only option.”
“Then enlighten me.” I clutched the table, feeling sick. “Because I got nothing. Any suggestion will help.”
Trinity fell silent while she brainstormed. Minutes passed and she remained quiet. Finally, she sighed in defeat.
“You and I both know how he is. He won’t give me up unless I give him a reason to walk away.”
Her eyes started to water. “But it’s you and Cayson…”
I averted my gaze, knowing I would cry if I looked at her. “I know. It’s killing me.”
“You’re soul mates.”
I took a deep breath. “When he’s finished with school, I’ll tell him the truth. And he’ll take me back.”
Trinity shook her head. “No, he won’t, Skye. If you hurt him like this, there’s no going back. If you think he’s just going to let it go like everything else in your relationship, you’re wrong. This is different. It’ll change him. It’ll shake him. It’s not going to be simple like you think it is.”
“I know. But…it’s me. I’ll always be the one to him. He might change and he might be different…but he’ll always be Cayson.”
She sighed. “I really don’t think this is a good idea. The relationship you guys have can survive anything…but not this.”
“We promised we would always be friends—no matter what.”
“I’m not worried about that,” Trinity said. “Give him a year or so and he’ll bounce back. He’ll be in the same room with you and still care about you. He’ll tease you and make jokes just like before. That won’t change. But romantically…I think this is suicide.”
I rested my head on my hand, leaning over the table. “Like I said before, do you have a better idea?”
She shook her head slightly. “No…”
“Neither do I.”
“I just want you to understand what you’re doing. This is serious shit, Skye.”
“I know.” My eyes watered.
“I really think you should just let him stay.”
“Trinity, I couldn’t live with myself if I did that. Would you hold back Slade if he wanted the one thing he’s been working his whole life toward?”
She became thoughtful. She touched her coffee cup, feeling the sleeve. “No.”
“I can’t do it either. Cayson would never ask me to change for him, so shouldn’t I do the same for him? Years down the road, I’ll confess everything. He’ll be mad, maybe even hate me for a while, but he’ll come back to me…I know he will.”
She sighed. “Cayson is strong. He’s compassionate and forgiving. And when it comes to you, he has an obvious soft spot. But remember that you can only push someone so hard before they break. And I promise you, Cayson will shatter.”
“There’s no other way…”
She pushed her coffee aside, looking sick. “Okay.”
I can’t believe I was really going to do this.
“When?” she whispered.
“Right after graduation and before he leaves.”
“That isn’t going to work,” she said. “He has to notify Stanford he’s coming. If he doesn’t, they’ll give his spot to someone else.”
I’d already thought about that. “Slade.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “What?”
“Have him sneak in to Cayson’s apartment and take care of the paperwork, including his living situation. And have him go to orientation as Cayson and get all of his supplies. They wouldn’t know the difference.”
Trinity looked at me like I was crazy. “He would never agree to that. Cayson is his best friend. Slade would spill your plan to him quicker than a snap of your fingers.”
“I know…but not if you asked him not to.”
She shook her head. “Slade would do anything for me…but not that.”
“Just ask him—no questions asked.”
She started to get irritated. “Skye, it won’t work.”
“Tell him you want to make sure everything is ready just in case Cayson changes his mind—that’s all.”
She sighed in frustration.
“Trinity, please.”
“Fine,” she hissed.
“And you better not tell him about my plan—I mean it.”
She gave me a firm look. “I would never do that, Skye. But I’m pretty sure Cayson isn’t going to believe you.”
“I’ll make sure he does…”
“Ugh.” She gripped her skull. “Do you feel as sick as I do?”
“Yes.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Much, much sicker.”
83
Slade
I was excited to leave college and start my life in New York. My years at Harvard were full of great memories, but they had nothing to do with my course work. All the parties I went to, all the girls I slept with, and all the fun times I had with my friends were what I’d always remember.
And the first time I fell in love.
As graduation drew near and finals passed, everyone was excited for the end to come. Our gowns had been bought, and everyone was getting lazier with every passing second.
I had more free time, and obviously, that free time was spent with Trinity. I pondered how our relationship would change when we moved to the city. Would she and I be just as inseparable as we were now? Would anything change?
I was sitting on the couch reading a book when Trinity walked in.
“Are you liking it?” she asked as she put her purse down.
“A lot.” I tossed the book aside and gave her my full attention. Even though we were just dating, it felt like we were something more. It felt like more time had passed than really had. It was like she’d always been in my life, had always been my other half. “How was your day?”
“Good.” She came to me on the couch then straddled my hips. She leaned over me and cupped my face. Then she planted a firm kiss on my lips, sending shivers down my spine. It was heated and passionate, strong for a greeting. When she pulled away, she stared at my face with sad eyes, like she was afraid I’d slip away.
“What is it, baby?” I whispered.
“I just love you…so much.” She looked into my eyes then felt my lips with her thumb. “And I’m so glad you aren’t going anywhere.”
Where was this coming from? “I love you too.”
She moved her face into my neck then hugged me tightly.
“Is everything okay?” I asked as I held her.
“Yeah.” Her voice was weak.
Maybe she was just moody because graduation was coming soon. It was an end to an era. We were going off on our own, taking the plunge. It was enough to make anyone upset.
She collected herself then sat up. “How was your day?”
“Good. But now it’s terrific.” I pulled the hair out of her face. When I glanced at the table, I spotted a pink bag that was clearly from a lingerie store. My heart quickened and I got excited. “What’s that over there…?”
She followed my gaze and smiled. “A surprise.”
“For me?” I grinned then pulled her closer to me.
“Well, if it were for someone else, you’d kill them.”
“Yes, I would,” I said as I tightened my hands on her waist. “So…are you going to show me?”
“You don’t want to wait until bedtime?”
“Uh, no.” Was that a joke?
“Alright. Get ready.”
I was hard the moment she sat on my lap, so I was ready for take-off. “Oh, I’m ready.” I gave her my best smolder.
She chuckled then took the bag into her bedroom.
I patiently waited, my mind running wild. What color was it? How skanky would she look? Would she be wearing heels? I loved it when she wore heels. Her legs looked longer than normal.
She finally walked into the living room, wearing a black baby doll that highlighted her breasts and emphasized her curves. Her hair was long and wavy.
And she wore black pumps.
I took her in, feeling my cock twitch and become harder. “Fuck.”
She smirked then came closer to me, just a few inches away.
I sat up then touched her legs, slowly moving up her thighs.
She grabbed my hands and steadied them. “Slow down.”
I growled.
“If you do something for me…I’ll do something for you.”
What game was she playing? “Okay.”
She unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down, along with my boxers. Then she kneeled before me and immediately sucked me off.
My head rolled back because it felt so good.
She sucked and licked, and then moved her tongue across my tip. Then her warm mouth left me, and she moved into my lap. My hands gripped her, and I rocked my hips slightly, desperate to be inside her.
“Are you ready for my request?” she asked.
“Just let me fuck you,” I said desperately.
She smiled in victory. “I want you to break in to Cayson’s apartment, take his acceptance letter to Stanford, and make sure he’s enrolled and has an apartment.”
Perhaps my mind was elsewhere, but that was the last thing I expected her to say. “What?”
“Just do it. Or you get nothing.”
I finally stopped thinking with my dick. “Why are you asking me to do this?”
“No questions asked, okay?”
“Not when it’s my best friend,” I argued.
“I’m just concerned that Cayson might change his mind about everything, and if he does, I want to make sure he has Stanford as an option.”
“He’s not going to change his mind,” I said immediately. “He’s thrilled to stay in New York.”
“Slade, it’s just a precaution and you aren’t hurting anyone. Just do it, okay?” She gave me a firm look, threatening to hurt me if I didn’t do it. “And don’t say a word to him.”
I rolled my eyes. “Such a waste of time…”
“Slade.” She gripped my cock then wrapped her hand around my shaft and started to jerk me—hard. “Do as I say.”
Her hand felt so good, and I was losing focus. Her demand was odd, but there didn’t seem to be any issues with it. I knew Cayson wouldn’t change his mind, but at least it was there just in case. “Fine, I’ll do it.” I was desperate to be inside her.
“Good boy.” She slapped my cheek slightly then pointed my tip inside her. Then she slid down.
I moaned loudly as I felt her, so wet and smooth. I gripped her hips and led her up and down, enjoying every second of it. Her request was forgotten as we moved together. And I didn’t question it again.
84
Cayson
Skye wanted to have sex with me—all the time.
She and I were always passionate and physical, but this was a new level. I couldn’t keep up with her. I’d wake up in the morning and she would be on my lap, riding me before I’d barely opened my eyes.
I didn’t mind—in the least.
It was just curious.
“Let’s go do something fun,” she said. She straddled my hips while I lay in bed.
My back was against the headboard and my hands were on her hips. Her gorgeous tits were in my face. I’d never grow tired to waking up to those every morning. “Okay. What do you want to do?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Want to play laser tag with Trin and Slade?”
Her eyes widened. “That would be fun.”
“You want me to ask?”
“Sure.” She leaned forward and kissed my neck while I grabbed my phone and sent out the message. Laser tag with me and Skye?
We’re down.
“They’re coming.” I tossed my phone aside and felt her kiss my neck.
“Great,” she said as she kissed my ear.
“Baby?”
“Hmm?”
“As much as I love all the attention and sex I’m getting from you, is there something up?”
She pulled away and looked at me in alarm. “No. Why?”
“You’re just…all over me. At least more than usual.”
/> “Does that bother you?”
“No,” I blurted. “Not at all. I was just curious as to why.”
Her eyes fell in sadness and she took a deep breath. Then the look disappeared quickly. “I just love you so much.” Her voice cracked slightly.
For a second, she was on the verge of tears. “Skye, what’s wrong?” I demanded.
“Nothing.” She waved it off. “I’m just…happy.” She gave me a smile, but it was forced.
“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong…?”
“Yeah. Of course.” She rubbed my shoulders. She studied my face for a moment, taking in my blue eyes. Her eyes focused on my lips then the curve of my jaw. I had no idea what she was thinking, but it seemed like she was thinking a million things. “I just want you to know how much I love you. Please don’t ever forget that—ever.” She cupped my face then kissed me.
I stared at her when she pulled away. “Okay…you’re freaking me out.”
“What?” she blurted. “I’m just saying…”
“You’re acting like you’re saying goodbye to me.”
“No,” she said immediately. “I just can’t believe you’re mine sometimes…”
I wasn’t buying it. “I’m not going to Stanford. Don’t waste your time asking me to leave.”
Surprise came into her eyes, but it quickly disappeared. “I didn’t ask you to…”
I wasn’t sure if I could believe her. Her behavior was peculiar, and knowing her, she would try to get me to leave anyway. I’d made my decision to stay, and there was nothing she could say to make me change my mind. I’d chosen my destiny—a life with her. “Then stop looking at me like you’re about to say goodbye.”
“I’m not.” Her voice was weak.
I gripped her then rolled her onto the bed. “Because I’m not going anywhere. It’s you and me forever.” I stared down at her, threatening her. “Don’t even think about trying to convince me to go. You’re wasting your time.”