by E. L. Todd
My dad opened the door again and another person walked through. The familiar sound of heels was in my ears.
My eyes were closed, but I didn’t need to see her to know who it was. “Trinity?”
“I’m here, girl.” She sat beside my mom then grabbed my hand. “I’ve been so worried about you.”
I didn’t have the strength to form a response.
My dad sat on the other side of my mom and stroked my back.
I tried to stop myself from crying but it was useless. My heart gave out and my lungs burned from all the screams I’d never released. I kept my eyes closed, hoping that would shut out the pain.
My mom glided her fingers through my hair, trying to keep me calm. “You’re a strong woman, Skye. You’ll get through this. I know you will.”
My mom was right about everything, but I had a feeling this time was an exception.
The storm continued to thrash my windows while we huddled on the floor. My tears burned my face as they dripped to my lips. My family stayed silent, not knowing what to do or what to say. They each had a hold on me, reminding me I wasn’t alone in my sorrow.
99
Cayson
Medical school at Stanford was exactly what I thought it would be. My course work was exhausting, and when I wasn’t studying, I was in my clinical rotation. Fortunately, being so busy helped me forget about the pain. Skye’s face swam in my mind during my dreams and fantasies, but when I was learning how to read an X-ray, she drifted away.
I didn’t have anything to compare the feeling to, but I’d never been in such catastrophic pain. Every day was harder than the previous one. I just wanted her to call me, to ask me to take her back. I wanted her to fight for me. Every time there was a knock on the door, my heart jumped in hope Skye was on the other side.
She never was.
As the months passed, the pain only became more intense. When I entered the third month, I wondered what was wrong with me. I should be getting better, not worse.
Then the anger started to come out.
How could she do that to me? I didn’t give a damn if she was drunk. How could she fuck some other guy? What about all that talk about marriage and a happily ever after? Was that just a meaningless conversation like the kind you had when you ran into an old friend? You talked about plans of meeting up even though they would never happen?
I’d done everything for her. I was the perfect boyfriend. There was nothing I wouldn’t give her. All she had to do was ask. Memories of our time together flooded my mind at the most random times. I remembered the feel of her lips against mine, and in my darkest hour, I remembered our nights in bed together. Even now, I still wanted her. I hated her. But I wanted her.
Ugh, what is wrong with me?
The anger intensified when she didn’t call. She didn’t check on me once. It was like she had just dropped me and moved on without another thought. Was I that easy to get over? Did our relationship mean squat to her?
I hate her. I fucking hate her.
She ruined me. All that time together meant nothing. Now it was in the past, just a memory. I analyzed every aspect of our relationship and wondered if she had ever really been happy with me. What did I do to mess it up? What did I do to make her hurt me like that?
I wanted to punch my fist into a wall. I wanted to kill someone. I started to get so angry that I didn’t know how to channel it. I started running at night, hoping someone would try to mug me just so I had a reason to flip the hell out.
I was quiet in class and didn’t socialize very often. The only friend I had was Mitchell, but I couldn’t really count him. We didn’t talk much when we were at the apartment. We were hardly there because we were both busy with school. And when we were home together, I was usually in my room. Occasionally, I heard him bring girls over, sometimes two at a time.
I just wanted to drown and suffocate to death. The pain was excruciating.
When will it end?
I made a sandwich in the kitchen while Mitchell was watching TV in the living room. He was drinking a beer while his face was glued to the screen.
I searched for a bag of chips then tossed it on my plate.
“Raiders are actually winning. That’s a miracle.” Mitchell rested his feet on the coffee table.
I didn’t watch football anymore. It reminded me of Skye. I grabbed my lunch and headed back to my room.
“Get your ass back here.”
I stilled then turned around, wondering what his problem was.
He pulled his feet off the coffee table then leaned forward. “I’ve been patient with you for three months, but I’m getting sick of your self-pity fest.” He snapped his fingers then pointed to the seat beside him. “Sit.”
I was too depressed to argue. I sat down and put the plate on the coffee table.
“Dude, snap out of it.”
I ran my fingers through my messy hair, sighing as I did it.
“Chicks come and go. There’s no reason you should be acting like this. Moping around and feeling sorry for yourself won’t get you anywhere. You’re just prolonging the pain.”
“It’s not so simple…”
He tapped my shoulder in a friendly way. “Tell me.”
I didn’t talk about this stuff with anyone besides Slade. Mitchell was cool, but we weren’t close. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” I rose to my feet.
He grabbed my shoulder and pushed me down again. “No, we’re going to do this. Now spill it. Why are you so distraught over this girl? What happened?”
I pressed my palms together and stared at my joined hands. “She was the one…”
He rolled his eyes. “They are all the one.”
“But she really was. I’ve wanted her my whole life, and when I finally got her, she broke my heart.”
His eyes bored into the side of my face. “She cheated on you, huh?”
I didn’t want to admit it out loud. Every time I thought about her kissing or touching someone, it shattered my heart all over again. I was sick to my stomach and had the urge to vomit. Instead of responding verbally, I just nodded.
“Then she’s a bitch,” he snapped. “She isn’t worth being depressed over. You’re too good for her and you need to move on.”
“Believe me, I’m trying.”
“You aren’t trying hard enough. I got a ton of hot girl friends who would be more than happy to ride you all night long. I’ll call them up and—”
“No,” I said immediately. “I’m not ready…”
“You have got to get back on the horse sometime.”
In a twisted way, I felt like I was cheating on Skye.
He grabbed my shoulder and shook me. “Snap out of it, man. You’re better than her. You shouldn’t be holding a vigil like this for her.”
My resistance was becoming weaker by the second. “She hasn’t even called me…not once.”
Mitchell stared at the TV and fell silent.
“It’s like she doesn’t care about me.”
“Because she doesn’t,” he whispered.
“We were going to get married…she said she wanted to marry me. Then she got drunk and fucked some guy at a party. It’s worse than if she had a relationship with some other guy behind my back. She threw away what we had, something so perfect and beautiful for…a midnight fuck she can hardly remember.” I breathed hard, fighting my body from giving out on me. “It hurts a million times worse.”
He nodded in agreement but kept his silence.
I covered my face and sighed. “But I still love her… I want her back. I want what we had. Everything was perfect.” I took another deep breath. “God, I’m pathetic.”
“You are.” He didn’t give me any sympathy. “Cayson, this girl fucked some other guy, as in, let some guy stick his cock in her pussy over and over. And—”
I held up my hand. “Stop.” I was going to be sick.
“No,” he snapped. “You need to hear it. You need to face the music. You need to understand what she did and stop r
emembering all the good times you had. All that was void the moment she let some random dude fuck her. Cayson, it’s time to move on. It’s been three months. Shit, you should be over her by now.”
I shook my head. “I guess…I’m hoping this is all just a terrible nightmare. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. She was it. I’ll never love anyone like that for as long as I live.”
“Who said you have to spend your life with anyone?” he demanded. “Go out and get laid. Being single is the best thing in the damn world. Come on, we’re both good-looking bros, we’re going to be doctors, and we’re both going to be rich. The chicks practically throw themselves at me. Just go out and enjoy it.”
“I’ve never been like that. I’m a one-woman kind of guy.”
“And where did that get you?” He stared me down.
I looked away.
“Look at you. You’re a damn mess. Were the good times with this girl really worth what you feel now?”
I kept replaying our relationship in my mind, wondering where everything went wrong. Did she ever love me? Was she just lying to me? Every time I thought about it, I wanted to strangle someone. I was furious and out of control.
“I wish I’d never loved her.” The words echoed in my mind long after I said them. “We should have just stayed friends. I never should have gone down this path. I was stupid for ever letting it happen.”
“There you go.” He clapped my shoulder.
“You’re right. This is stupid. I’m mourning someone who doesn’t give a damn about me. She’s probably enjoying her life in the city, not thinking twice about me. She’s probably slept with so many guys since I left. She doesn’t mourn me, so why am I mourning her?”
“That’s what I’m talking about.” He clapped me on the back. “This is the guy I want to live with.”
I wasn’t going to sit around and let my heartbreak ruin my life. Skye taught me a valuable lesson I should have learned long ago. I’d been living my life the wrong way. I’d been the perfect gentleman, being selfless and putting others before myself. I was sick of getting hurt and letting people walk all over me. I was fucking sick of it.
My old ways were in the past. People were innately evil and distrusting. They pursued their own interests even at the cost of others’ happiness. Skye used me and shattered me without a second thought. I was tired of getting the butt end of the stick. I was sick of being hurt. Those days were over.
I was a new man.
100
Slade
I sat in the booth and anxiously waited for Trinity to show up. She’d been gone for four days, and I missed her like crazy. Sometimes it frightened me how attached I was to her. Without her, I couldn’t be happy. She was constantly in my thoughts.
Finally, she opened the door and stepped through. She wore an olive-green blouse that shone. It showed her bare shoulders, which were perfectly sculpted and toned. Black jeans were tight on her body and she wore black stilettos. Her blond hair was curled, and it framed her face perfectly. Her green eyes lightened when they landed on me.
Damn, she’s a knockout.
I stood up then walked toward her.
She smiled as she came closer, giving me a look that made my knees weak, no matter how many times she gave it to me.
When I reached her, my hands moved around her petite waist and pulled her into my chest. Her breasts pushed against me, reminding me how perky and prominent they were. Her head automatically moved to my shoulder and she rested it there while she returned the embrace.
I held her in the middle of Mega Shake, not caring if anyone saw or judged our public display of affection. My hand moved up her back until I reached the area between her shoulder blades. I missed her warm body in my arms. Her familiar scent washed over me, putting me at ease.
“Missed me?” she whispered. Her voice contained her smile.
“What gave me away?”
“Everything.”
I pressed my lips to her hair, loving the feel of her soft strands. Any guy who saw Trinity got hard, and I loved the fact that she was mine. Only I got to enjoy her. Only I got to talk to her. Only I got to have her. “Missed me?”
“Not really.”
I rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see me. “Liar.”
“It was a nice break.”
“You’re so full of it.”
“Or am I?” She pulled away and gave me a playful look.
I pressed my forehead to hers and looked down at her lips. My hands moved to her hips, and I wanted her so desperately that taking her in the middle of the diner sounded tempting. “You’d better have missed me. If not, I’ll have to do a better job of giving you a reason to.”
“That sounds nice.”
I smirked, loving the way she flirted with me. My hand moved to her neck and I felt the soft skin. Then I gripped her aggressively but didn’t squeeze too tightly. My lips moved to hers and I caressed them, missing their softness and warmth. I restrained myself from sticking my tongue down her throat and doing all the things I wanted. Instead, I gave her a gentle kiss that told her just how much I’d missed her. It made my words redundant.
When I pulled away, she had a glazed look in her eyes. She seemed dizzy, like she might fall over. She blinked several times. “What were you saying?”
I smirked then grabbed her hand. “Nothing important.” I led her to the table then sat beside her. “You want the usual?”
“Yes, please.”
“Chocolate or vanilla milk shake?”
“Both.”
“You got it, baby.” I patted her thigh then headed to the register. After I ordered the food, I returned to the table carrying the trays. I sat across from her so I could stare at her pretty face. I contemplated how I’d take her later. I wanted to be inside her so badly I was going crazy.
She ate her burger then met my look. “Why do you keep staring at me?”
“I missed you.”
She ate a few fries without dropping her gaze. “You’re thinking about sex, aren’t you?”
I shrugged. “What else do I think about?”
She smirked then sipped her shake. “How do you want me?”
“We shouldn’t talk about this right now.” I ate half my burger in a single bite.
“Why?”
“Because I’ll have to fuck you right here on the table.”
“I’m calling your bluff.” She gave me a mischievous look before she pulled out her phone. She hit a few buttons then put it down.
I wondered what she was up to. Then my phone vibrated in my pocket. “What did you send me?”
She shrugged. “You won’t know until you check.”
I narrowed my eyes at her before I checked the message. She attached a picture—a naughty one. She stood in her bra and matching thong. She was blowing the camera a kiss, and the angle showed every curve and the swell of her gorgeous rack. My cock hardened the second I looked at it. I put the phone down then growled. “Such a bitch…”
She smiled then flipped her hair over one shoulder. “I know.”
I continued to eat my food and tried not to think about that picture. The image was ingrained in my mind permanently. I had to adjust myself in my jeans because my hard-on was seriously uncomfortable.
“What did you do while I was gone?” she asked.
“Worked as my dad’s bitch at the shop.”
“He hasn’t let you do anything else?” she asked sadly.
“Nope. I clean equipment, stock supplies, clean more equipment, and run the register every now and then—annoying.”
She shrugged. “He’ll give you more responsibilities as you go along.”
“And hopefully a raise,” I said bitterly. “I don’t want to live with my parents anymore.” I had money saved, but I didn’t want to use it for my rent when I didn’t know when I’d be making more money. And living with my parents wasn’t terrible because my mom did my laundry and cooked for me. But I couldn’t have Trinity whenever I wanted
. I missed having my own place and sleeping with her. It’d been torture so far.
“I kinda like living at home again. It’s nice to spend time with my family.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re annoying.”
“Hey, not sleeping with you has been hard for me too. I’m just trying to be positive. We’ll have our own space eventually.”
We’d been using Skye’s apartment to meet up and get it on. But Trinity flew to California to retrieve Skye so now that was out. “How’d it go out there?” She and I didn’t talk about Cayson and Skye often. It was a conflict of interest. Even though Skye was my cousin, I was pissed she’d hurt Cayson like that. He was my best friend and didn’t deserve that. Trinity was Skye’s best friend and seemed particularly sympathetic toward Skye. Every time we discussed them, we ended up fighting. For the sake of our relationship, we just didn’t talk about it.
“It was okay.” Her voice fell in sadness. “She was a mess.”
Good. I was glad she felt like shit. “Did she come back?”
“Yeah.”
I sighed. “Now we’ll have to find somewhere else to get down and dirty.”
“Yeah…”
She picked at her fries but didn’t eat them. “Have you talked to Cayson lately?”
“I talk to him every day.”
“How’s he doing?” she asked quietly.
“How do you think?” I said bitterly.
She let the conversation die. She nibbled on a fry and kept her gaze downturned. “I can’t believe they’re really over…”
It was hard for me to swallow too. As soon as Cayson and Skye got together, I thought that was the end of their story. What would happen during the holidays? Would they ever be able to be in the same room together again? Was everything ruined? Did we have to pick sides? I knew what side I was on.
Trinity studied my face and read my mind. “They’ll be friends again—in time.”
“If Skye weren’t my cousin, I wouldn’t talk to her again.”
Trinity sighed. “Don’t be mean to her. I mean it.”