by E. L. Todd
“Aren’t you going to ask me the same question?”
He kept smiling. “Why? You’re a good girl.”
“I am not,” I argued.
“It’s not offensive.” He kissed my neck. “I like that you’re a good girl.”
“I don’t know what I did to give you that impression, but I’m definitely on the opposite end of the spectrum. I’ve been around.”
He moved on top of me then dug one hand into my hair. His face was an inch from mine. His warm breath fell on my skin, making me melt. A distant light burned in his eyes, a playfulness just for me. “Oh, really?”
“Yes, really,” I said firmly.
“How many?”
Huh? “How many what?”
His grin stretched. “If you don’t know what that question implies, then you haven’t been around.”
“No, I do,” I lied. “I just want to make sure you know what it means.”
He chuckled. “How many guys have you slept with, beauty?” He let the question linger in the air. “Give me a number.”
What was a lot? Five? What should I say? “Um…too many to count.”
He tried not to laugh. “Come on, bad girl. Fess up.”
“A hundred…”
Arsen wasn’t buying it. “You want me to go first?”
“No,” I said quickly. “I don’t want to know.”
“I’m not going to judge you, Silke. You can tell me.”
Judge me because the number was pathetic? “One…” I felt the redness flood my cheeks.
He smiled in victory. “One other guy before me?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “No. Just one.”
His face changed into one I didn’t recognize. His eyes lost their light, and he didn’t blink. The room became dead silent. Neither one of us moved. All we did was breathe.
Arsen’s eyes bored into mine, and a different kind of emotion shone through. It was unidentifiable but strong. He swallowed the lump in his throat while he stared at me, a thousand thoughts going through his head.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that. I was surprised he hadn’t figured it out in the beginning. I tried so hard to be confident and cool. I just wanted to be what he wanted me to be. The moment I laid eyes on him, I wanted him. It was a sensation I couldn’t explain. I just had to have him, and for some reason, I knew he was mine forever, even if it seemed so unlikely.
He took a deep breath, and the emotion was undeniable. “Silke…why me?” His eyes shone in the darkness, a coat of moisture forming. His hand fisted my hair more tightly, trying to hold on to me like I might slip away. He held himself up on one elbow, and his legs were in between mine.
I felt the stubble of his chin with my hand then moved up his jaw. His blue eyes were beautiful and cold like the Arctic, but if you looked long enough, you could see them change and become heated like a desert. There was so much more to Arsen than he let people see. Only I got to see the real him. And he was wonderful, passionate, and perfect, despite all his flaws. I was probably stupid for feeling this way about him, and maybe one day that would become a painful regret, but that fear couldn’t stop my heart from beating for him. My thumb brushed over his bottom lip then I moved my fingers through his brown hair. “You know why.”
102
Conrad
“Tapped Beatrice yet?” Theo asked while he opened his beer. He leaned back on my couch and watched TV.
I hadn’t stopped thinking about her since I last saw her. “No. And I’m not going to.”
He turned his head toward me so fast he must have gotten whiplash. “What? Are you serious?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t want to tell him what she told me. It was too personal. Besides, I promised I’d keep her secret.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” He was on the edge of his seat. “And why didn’t you mention it sooner? I’ve seen you every day this week, and you never brought it up.”
I shrugged. “I guess I’ve just been thinking about it a lot.”
“So, what happened?”
“She just…she…has some issues. She’s been through a lot. All she wants is to be friends, and honestly, I think that’s all she can handle. So, I’ll settle for her friendship.”
His eyes were wide. “So…that’s it? You’re done?”
“We’re not done,” I said firmly. “We were never anything to begin with. So, we’ll be friends from now on. And only friends.”
“Wow…all that work for nothing?”
“I wouldn’t say that. She’s really cool, and I don’t mind hanging out with her. It’s not the end of the world. In fact, I’m glad she told me her…personal stuff. It meant a lot to me.”
He took a long drink of his beer. “If you say so.”
I watched the game again and tried not to think about her.
“Back on the prowl, then?”
“I guess so.” I hadn’t thought about it much. I finished my beer then left the bottle on the table.
“Does she even like you?” he asked. “She really just sees you as a friend? Is she gay?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m being serious.”
“I know she has feelings for me, but I think her need for distance and space is stronger.”
“Why don’t you guys just hook up?” he asked. “Everyone wins.”
“She’s not like that,” I said frankly. “She’s very conservative.”
“All the gorgeous ones are.” He shook his head.
We went back to watching the game, but I kept thinking about Beatrice and what she’d told me. The fact that she told me something so traumatic made me realize she valued me as a person in her life and a friend.
“Want to order a pizza?” Theo asked.
“Huh?” His voice shattered my thoughts.
He smirked. “Still hung up on her, huh?”
I grabbed another beer and didn’t say anything.
I was watching TV when my phone vibrated.
Hey, how are you?
I stared at Beatrice’s name, feeling my heart rate increase. I hadn’t texted her because I didn’t want to bother her. But I was surprised she reached out to me. Well. How are you?
Hungry.
I smirked, imagining her beautiful face and bright eyes. That makes two of us.
I didn’t see you in the library today.
Because I didn’t go. I didn’t want her to think I was stalking her. If I popped up everywhere she went, it would probably make her uncomfortable. I had to run a few errands.
I see.
Did she text me just to say she noticed I wasn’t in the library? Did she want something from me? This was why I preferred to hang out with men over women. They just blurted what they wanted, and there was no confusion. What are you up to?
I just finished watering my garden. What about you?
Sitting on my butt watching TV.
Admirable.
I was glad she was texting me, but I preferred to talk in person. I’m going to get a pizza. You want to come? I sent the message and patiently waited for a response.
I’d love to.
Wow, that was easy. Can I pick you up, or you just want to meet there?
You can come get me.
She was going to let me see where she lived? We were on a new level of friendship. Send me your address, and I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.
Her apartment wasn’t the nicest one in the city. Actually, it was the cheapest one that was close to campus. The building looked old and run-down, and there was concrete everywhere, hardly any trees.
After I parked the truck, she emerged from the stairs. She was wearing jeans and a pink t-shirt, her breasts obvious in the hug of the shirt. Her jeans highlighted her toned thighs and prominent ass.
When I realized what I was thinking, I forced myself to stop. I couldn’t look at her like that, not when she only wanted a friendship from me. I got out then came to her passenger door. “Hey.”<
br />
“Hi.” She flashed me a bright smile as I opened the door for her. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” After she got in, I headed back to the driver’s side. “I’m so hungry I could eat a hippo.”
“Word.” She linked her music device with my sound system, and her song selection immediately came in through the speakers. “Now we don’t have to share earbuds.”
“Sweet.” I headed to the pizzeria and tried not to stare at her. Her brown tresses framed her face, and her flat stomach led to wide hips. Her waist was so petite I was certain I could span it all the way around with just my hands. “Was the library boring without my presence?”
“The library is boring either way.”
“Then why do you work there?” I asked.
“It’s quiet. And I like books.”
“You’d probably make good tips as a waitress.”
She shrugged. “I’ll stick to checking out books.”
I parked in front of the pizzeria, and we both headed inside. We sat at a square table with a red-and-white tablecloth. We picked up our menus and looked at the selections.
“You want to split one?” I asked.
“Depends.”
“On what?” I asked.
“What you like.”
I put the menu down. “I’m not picky. I’ll eat anything.”
“How about a vegetarian pizza?”
“Sure.” I sat up straight in my chair and tried to look at anything besides her. She was gawked at on a daily basis. I didn’t want to remind her of that.
“What’s new with you?” she asked.
“Um…my friend is getting an award for one of her sculptures,” I said. “She’s pretty excited about it.”
“Good for her.”
“Yeah…Theo and I are happy for her.”
She nodded. “You and Theo are really close, huh?”
“We’re pretty much family, actually. Our parents are really close, and we were basically raised as siblings.”
“That’s cute,” she said.
“I guess.” I shrugged. “But we have a very big, annoying, and dysfunctional family.”
She chuckled. “Sounds like fun.”
“So, you want to eat here, right?”
“I guess,” she said. “Or we could head back and watch a movie or something.”
I had to remember all these invitations weren’t romantic, just friendly. My hopes got too high, and then I crashed. “How about Star Wars?”
“You can’t go wrong with that.”
“Cool.” I waved down the waitress and put the order in.
“I hope I didn’t ruin your evening.”
“Not at all.” When I looked at her, I saw her green eyes flash like emeralds. They were so bright and beautiful, like gems in a treasure chest. Every inch of her was chiseled and perfect, like she was designed to be gorgeous for a reason. Her high cheekbones gave her a splash of elegance, and her voice reminded me of a songbird. Sometimes I wondered if I was hallucinating all these features.
“When you weren’t in the library, it threw my day off.” She said it with a smile.
“I’ll make sure I’m there tomorrow.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. But your absence was noticed.”
I bet every guy in the restaurant hated me right then. I was sitting across from the coolest chick in the damn world. She was only looking at me, only comfortable with me. She was selective with whom she spent her time, but I somehow made the cut.
“And your presence is always noticed.”
She sat back in her chair and crossed her legs. She always held herself like a queen, someone who was prominent or influential. It surprised me that her back hadn’t broken under the weight of everything she’d experienced. For some reason, I had a feeling that was only a small part of her suffering. She had more depth than all the oceans combined. “What are you thinking about?”
Her words brought me out of my trance. “Your eyes.” It was the first thing I could think of, and it was a bad response.
“What about them?” She seemed interested, not annoyed.
“They remind me of the forest.”
“What kind of forest?” she asked.
“The bright kind. You know, like the Amazon. With those tall trees and hanging vines, full of different fruits and birds. That kind.”
A slight smirk stretched her lips. “Thank you. That’s a nice compliment.”
I cleared my throat. “Now it’s your turn.”
She laughed. “You’re making me give you a compliment?”
“Yep.”
“Well…let me think.”
I patiently waited.
“I like your…face.”
That was anticlimactic. “My face?”
“You have a strong jaw and a thoughtful look like Clint Eastwood, but you always have soft eyes, like someone who is innocent. You’re very handsome.”
I liked that last part. “Well, thank you. People tell me I look like my father.”
“Then he must be special.”
“He thinks he is,” I joked. “He looks like a serial killer when he’s upset.”
“I’m glad I haven’t seen you upset,” she teased.
“I’d never get mad at you,” I blurted. “Too hard.”
She gave me a sweet smile then touched her hair. “I have my mom’s eyes.”
The mention of her mother made me sad. I wanted to say the right thing to make her feel better but couldn’t think of anything. “At least you carry on your mother’s legacy in more than one way.”
“My brother does too. I hope it forces my dad to think about her every time he looks at us.” She said it without emotion, like the topic wasn’t difficult for her to discuss.
“Are you close with your brother?”
“Not really. We don’t talk very often. And he’s closer with my dad, so that makes me push him away even more. If my brother knows anything about me, he might tell my father.”
The waitress came over with the pizza box. “Enjoy.”
I pulled the cash out of my wallet and handed it to her.
Beatrice pulled her money out. “Let’s split it.”
“It’s okay, really.”
“Take it,” she said firmly.
“How about you just get the next one?” I said.
She took her money back hesitantly. “Okay.”
I wasn’t sure why she was so adamant about paying all the time, but I let it go.
We headed back to the truck then decided to go to my place since it was closer. After we parked, we headed up the stairs. Thankfully, I’d just cleaned my place. Now Beatrice wouldn’t know how much of a pig I was.
“The bachelor pad,” Beatrice said as she walked inside.
I laughed. “More like a man cave.” I tossed the pizza box on the table.
She took a look around then noticed my large TV. “Nice.”
“It’s good for football.” I grabbed a few plates then set them down. “What would you like to drink? Beer or water?”
“Beer.”
Really? “Okay.” I retrieved the bottles then handed one to her.
She sat down and drank it like she drank beer often. When she caught my look, she turned to me. “I don’t like wine,” she explained.
That made sense.
I put the movie in then turned off all the lights. “Are you ready to see the greatest movie of all time?”
“Always ready.” She pulled the pizza onto her plate then sat at the opposite end of the couch.
“Let the awesomeness commence.”
We ate our pizza while we watched the movie. When I glanced at her from the corner of my eye, I saw her mouth some of the lines. She really was a hard-core fan. It made me more attracted to her.
Damn.
“R2-D2 is my favorite. He’s so cute.”
I rolled my eyes. “Everyone thinks he’s cute.”
“Because he is,” she said firmly. She pulled out her phone then sh
owed me a picture. “Look at my trash can.”
It was an R2-D2 replica. It looked just like the robot, but it was a garbage can. “Wow, that’s so cool!” I looked at her with crazed eyes. “How did you get that?”
“eBay.”
“I’m so jealous.”
“It’s cool, huh? It makes little noises every time you walk up to it.”
“Wow.” I handed the phone back to her. “Coolest chick in the galaxy.”
She chuckled then blushed. “Maybe the nerdiest.”
“For guys, it means the same thing.”
She leaned back on the couch then tightened her arms around her waist.
“Cold?”
“A little.”
I grabbed a blanket my mom made and handed it to her.
She covered herself with it then examined the stitching. There were different t-shirts from my youth on it. Most of them were sports t-shirts from championships I played in. When I grew out of them, I was going to throw them away, but my mom kept them and made a blanket instead. “Are these your old t-shirts?”
“Yeah, my mom made that for me before I left for college. I guess she wanted to keep my youth alive even after I left the house.”
She felt the fabric in her hands and smiled. “That’s sweet.”
“Yeah…when she’s not being annoying, she’s alright.”
“Do you have pictures of your family?”
I didn’t keep picture frames around the house. That was too girlie. But I had a few on my phone. “Yeah.” I pulled it out then handed it to her. “This was us last Christmas.” The four of us stood in front of our house wearing the ugliest Christmas sweaters we could find.
Her eyes softened. “Wow…so cute.”
“I guess,” I said with a shrug.
She stared at the picture for a long time. “Your family is beautiful. They look like models.”
“Well, I do. I don’t know about them…”
“Is that your sister?” she asked.
“Yep.”
“Very pretty. And your parents look so young.”
“They aren’t,” I said immediately. “They just look like it.”
She tapped the screen then made the image bigger. “You do look so much like your father.”