by E. L. Todd
I stayed up late and watched TV. I wasn’t in the mood to sleep. My mind kept racing, focusing on the single person who had my undivided attention. I wanted Beatrice. I wanted all of her, wanted her to tell me she cared about me. I wanted to know she was mine and that I was hers. She made it clear she could only be a friend. But what if she could be more?
I was going through a dry spell. I hadn’t had sex since I’d met Beatrice. She took up a lot of my time, and I hadn’t gone out to look for a quick lay. But honestly, I didn’t really want to. All I would think about was Beatrice anyway. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t going crazy for some kind of contact. I was used to having sex on a regular basis, and that just ended. I would use my hand, but I hated masturbating. It didn’t feel as good.
A knock sounded on my door.
I checked the time. It was almost one in the morning. Who would be at my door at this hour? My heart leaped in joy at the thought of Beatrice being on the other side.
I looked through the peephole but only felt disappointment when I spotted Stacy. She was one of my regulars. I usually liked having a different girl every time, but I kept the really good ones around. I opened the door. “What are you doing here?” I asked.
She put her hands on her hips and cocked an eyebrow. “Is that a serious question? What do I normally come over for?”
Oh yeah…
She stepped inside my apartment. “I missed you.”
“You did?” I asked with a smirk.
“Yeah.” She shut the door then put her hands on my chest. “I want some of that bear love.”
Stacy was wild and kinky. She did a lot of things most girls wouldn’t do, and she never cared that I didn’t want something more. She was the definition of easy. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She moved down to her knees then undid my jeans.
I was so horny that I was desperate for her. She got my jeans down then gripped my boxers.
I suddenly felt cold. Sickness pooled in my stomach, and I felt dizzy. It didn’t feel right. Guilt and shame flooded through me. I gripped her shoulder. “Wait, hold on.”
“What?” she asked. “I’ll let you do that thing you like…”
I pulled up my jeans then stepped back. “I’m just not feeling it tonight.”
She stood up and raised an eyebrow. “Well, it looked like you were feeling it.”
I opened the door. “Stacy, you should go.”
“Why are you being weird?” she demanded.
“I think I have a girlfriend.”
“You think?” she snapped. “How can you not know?”
“It’s complicated…”
“I’ll say.”
“It’s nothing personal,” I said quickly. “But I think you should go.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You’re missing out.” She walked out and didn’t look back.
After I shut the door, I leaned against it. My mind was spinning, and I felt out of breath. Stacy was gorgeous and easy. She satisfied me and gave me exactly what I wanted, sex and no relationship.
So, what the hell just happened?
113
Silke
I stepped out of the changing room. “What about this one?”
Arsen shrugged. “It’s great.”
I sighed then walked back inside and changed. He seemed to be indifferent to every outfit I tried on. I came back out wearing a blue one. “Do you like this?”
“Sure.” He leaned back in the chair with his hands behind his head. The cashier kept eyeing him closely, like he might pull out a gun and rob her. His leather jacket and persona of indifference were intimidating to everyone.
I sighed then walked back inside and changed. I put on a black dress that was backless. It was tight on my body and revealed my legs underneath. I stepped out and watched his reaction.
His eyes widened as he took me in. They lingered on my legs then moved up to my chest.
“How about this one?” I made a pose for him.
He whistled loudly. “Come to Papa.”
I rolled my eyes. “Pig.”
He patted his lap. “Park that RV right here.”
“RV?” I snapped.
“Don’t act like you don’t know you have junk in that trunk.” He winked.
“Go to hell.” I walked back into the changing room. When I was alone, I smiled. I liked the attention he gave me, even though I acted like I didn’t. When he was attracted to me, it made me giddy with excitement. His attention was all I wanted.
I walked out with the dress in my hand.
“You’re getting it, right?” He stood up and adjusted his jacket.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“And you’re going to put it on when we get home?”
I smacked his arm then headed for the register. After I paid for it, we walked out.
“How about we stop and get some slutty lingerie?” He grabbed my hand and held it in his own.
“No.”
“Come on.” He leaned close to me. “I’ll buy.”
“I don’t need your money.”
He smirked while he stared at me. “Miss Independent…”
I tried to hide my smile while I walked with him. Ever since Christmas, he’d been in a better mood. He wasn’t thoughtful and quiet all the time. Since my parents had accepted him, his self-confidence seemed to be stronger. He wasn’t pushing me away like he used to. He finally let me in to stay.
“Look what we have here…” A guy wearing a beanie, baggy jeans, and a t-shirt with holes in it came up to us. He was smoking a cigarette even though we were inside. Two guys who looked like thugs were behind him, looking threatening. They eyed me blatantly then whispered to one another.
I didn’t like them one bit.
Arsen tensed immediately. His happy demeanor was gone, and he squeezed my hand a little tighter.
“Looks like Arsen has a girlfriend after all…” He flashed us a smile full of yellow and crooked teeth.
Arsen positioned himself in front of me, blocking me from view. “Combs.”
“Fancy seeing you here.” He laughed like he’d said something funny.
“It’s a public mall.” Arsen’s voice had never sounded so cold and hollow. “It’s not that surprising.”
Combs tried to peek around him to get a glimpse of me. “Who’s the pretty lady?”
Arsen moved in front of me, blocking his view. “None of your business.”
Combs turned to his cronies. “Someone’s sensitive…”
“I’ll see you around.” He grabbed my hand again and pulled me away.
“Whoa…hold on.” Combs clapped his hands. “I want to purchase some of your high-quality product.”
Arsen turned to him. “I’m not selling at the moment.”
“Excuse me?” His somewhat friendly demeanor evaporated. “Did you just say no to me?”
“I said I don’t have anything on me. We can arrange something at a different time.”
I’d never witnessed a drug exchange or seen dealers in action. Combs and his cronies weren’t exactly friendly, and they rubbed me the wrong way. Arsen seemed particularly protective of me in front of them, trying to take me away from the situation as quickly as possible.
Combs stared at him with a threatening look. “I suggest you don’t let it happen again. Or maybe I’ll take a turn on that girl of yours.”
My skin prickled in fear.
“Come near her, and I’ll murder you.” The threat was in Arsen’s voice as well as his words. He stared at Combs, not backing down. I knew it wasn’t an idle threat. It was literal in every sense of the word.
Combs smirked, not seeming afraid. “Touchy, are we?”
Arsen gave him a final look before he dragged me away. His jaw was clenched tightly, and his eyes looked crazed. He didn’t speak, just pulled me along. He didn’t glance over his shoulder as he walked as fast as he could without running.
When we made it to the garage, he grabbed my helmet and put it on quickly. “
Come on. Let’s go.”
I didn’t say anything and did as he asked.
He got on the bike then sped out of the garage, hauling ass. When we got onto the road, he took a different route than I’d ever been on. We were going the opposite way of the campus.
“Where are we going?”
He didn’t speak. He moved through the cars and headed to the highway. When we were there, he pushed his bike to the limit. I couldn’t hear anything but the wind in my ears. If I spoke, he probably couldn’t hear me. He drove for two hours, his destination unknown.
When we arrived at a small town in the middle of nowhere, he pulled into a motel parking lot and parked in the rear. He killed the engine then tossed his helmet aside.
I watched him and held my silence.
“We’re staying here tonight.” He headed into the front office and disappeared.
I stayed on the bike, unsure what to do.
He returned then yanked my helmet off. “Come on.”
“Okay…”
He pulled me into our dark and small room. The curtains were closed, and he bolted all the locks. He paced in front of the bed, his eyes glued to the floor as he moved.
I sat at the foot of the bed. “I have class tomorrow.”
“You aren’t going.” He ripped off his jacket and tossed it on the floor.
Combs and his crew were frightening, but Arsen didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who was scared of anything. Since he worked with these people often, I was surprised he was frightened off so easily.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
He sat next to me but kept his silence.
“Talk to me.”
His jaw was clenched tightly. “I never meant to bring you around that.”
“I know.”
“I’ve never cared about what people do to me. They can threaten me with anything, and I’d never blink an eye over it. But you…you’re different. I could never let anything happen to you.”
That made my spine shiver. “You think…he would do something to me?”
He was quiet for a long time. “Those guys aren’t like people you know. They do bad things to good people. Most of the time, words are just idle threats. But with those guys… I’d never take the chance.”
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “What now?”
“We’ll stay here for the night just in case they tried following us. I’ll take you back home tomorrow. I just didn’t want to risk them following me to your apartment.”
My heart was beating fast, and the blood was loud in my ears. I was never scared of anything, and I tried to remain brave.
“After I drop you off, you won’t see me for a while. I’ll do the deal with them and wait for things to blow over. When I think it’s safe, I’ll call you.”
Now I was scared for him. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Yes.” He said it without any doubt. “Keep your enemies close.”
I hooked my arm through his and rested my head on his shoulder.
“I want you to stay with your friends for a few days. Tell them you’re fumigating your apartment or something. I prefer Theo since he knows martial arts.”
“Maybe we should call the cops.”
“No,” he said immediately. “Then they would murder us and dump our bodies in the ocean.”
That didn’t make me feel better. “Arsen…do you deal with this a lot?”
“No. I’m always careful. We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time today.”
I clung to him tightly and closed my eyes. “I don’t want you to do this anymore…”
He stared out the window, his eyes not blinking.
“Please, Arsen.”
“It’s all I’ve ever known.”
“You’ll find something else. I’m scared for you.”
“Beauty, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“You’re obviously scared of these people for a reason. You just drove two hours away…”
“I can take care of myself. I’ve never been worried about that. It’s you I’m concerned about.”
I breathed hard while I clung to him.
He turned his face to me then kissed my forehead. “Don’t be scared. I promise I’ll never let anything happen to you. I just have to do a better job of keeping you separate from my…profession.”
I closed my eyes and concentrated on the steady sound of his breathing. It kept me calm. His skin was warm in my hand, and I inhaled his scent and pretended we were at home in bed. The world was at peace, and we were safe.
If I believed it long enough, maybe it would be true.
Arsen walked me to my door then kissed me hard on the mouth. “Don’t call me.”
“How will I know if you’re okay?”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll call you when I can.”
I didn’t want him to go. I wrapped my arms around his neck then held him close. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, holding on to me. He held me for a long time, struggling to let go.
“You’ll be safe,” he whispered. “I promise.”
“I know.”
He cupped my face and kissed my forehead. “I’m so sorry about this.”
“It’s okay, Arsen. Don’t blame yourself.”
“But I’m the only one to blame.” He kissed me one more time before he pulled away. “And don’t come to my apartment for any reason. I mean it.”
“Okay…”
“Promise me.” He looked to my eyes for confirmation.
“I promise.”
He gave me one final look before he turned around and walked off.
I watched him go, feeling my heart go with him.
114
Theo
When I woke up at noon the next day, Alex was wrapped around me as if I was a teddy bear. Her leg was between mine, and her face was pressed into my neck. My arm was hooked around her waist, and the smell of her hair came into my nose.
When I first woke up, I didn’t stir. My eyes were heavy with sleep, and I released a deep breath. I wanted to stretch, but I didn’t want to wake up Alex. When my hand moved down her back, I realized she didn’t have any bottoms on. Only her panties covered her down below. She must have gotten hot in the middle of the night and taken them off. I kept the blanket over us so I wouldn’t see anything.
She finally stirred and let out a deep sigh. Her hand clutched my chest, and she squeezed me slightly. She finally came around then stiffened. Suddenly, she sat up and looked at me with wide eyes.
What did I do?
She lifted the blanket and looked down at our bodies. Then she forced the blanket back down, panic in her eyes. “You’re such a fucking asshole.” She jumped out of bed and searched for her clothes.
What? “What are you pissed about?”
She grabbed my jeans and chucked them at my head. “I knew you were a jerk, but this is just ridiculous.”
“What the hell did I do?” I demanded.
She turned around and changed quickly. “Fuck you, Theo. Fuck you.” She stormed out of the room.
I chased after her in my boxers. “Whoa, calm down.”
She grabbed my remote and threw it at me.
“Shit.” I blocked it. “Calm the hell down.”
“I can’t believe you took advantage of me and slept with me! You’re a horrible person. Horrible!”
Now it made sense. “I didn’t sleep with you! Well, I did, but not in the way you think. We just slept together, in the same bed. Now stop throwing a damn hissy fit!”
She eyed me warily, a textbook in her hand.
“Don’t you dare throw that at me.”
Indecision was in her eyes.
“Do you not remember what happened last night? At all?”
“Maybe…”
So that was a no. “I saw you at the bar, and you could barely stand. I brought you back here because you couldn’t remember where you lived. We had Taco Bell then went to bed.”
“Why the hell
would you sleep with me?” she asked. “Why didn’t you stay on the couch?”
“You asked me to!”
“I did?” she asked hesitantly.
“Yeah…when you’re drunk, you’re open, vulnerable, and sweet. I want that Alex back.”
“What else did I say?” She lowered the book.
“Stuff.” I shrugged.
“What kind of stuff?” she demanded.
“Well, for one, you think I’m handsome.” I gave her a playful smirk.
Her cheeks reddened slightly. “No, I didn’t say that.”
“You bet your ass you did. Then you took off your dress and tried to seduce me.”
She dropped the book then covered her face as she gasped. “No…”
“Yeah.”
Alex was completely mortified. “Oh my god…”
“But nothing happened. You changed into my clothes then went to bed.”
“You…didn’t sleep with me?” she asked. “Even though I wanted to?”
“Of course not,” I said. “I don’t sleep with drunk girls. It’s not my thing.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, her cheeks still blushing.
“Don’t be embarrassed. We all do stupid things when we’re drunk.”
She turned away from me, hiding her face.
I sighed then stood behind her. “For what it’s worth…you were gorgeous.”
She sighed but didn’t turn around.
“Hey, let’s just forget about it, okay?” I placed my hands on her shoulders. “I won’t tell anybody. It will be our little secret.”
“I’m so mortified.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist then rested my chin on her head. I was already used to snuggling with her, so the affection didn’t feel odd. “Would you like to know something embarrassing about me? Maybe that will make you feel better.”
“Okay…”
“When I went on my senior trip to Disney World, I got food poisoning. I couldn’t go home, and there was nowhere for me to camp and relax. I…I got bad diarrhea and went in my pants. I stank bad and everyone knew.”
A quiet laugh escaped her lips. “Oh my god…”