Jamie moaned from the grass near us, and Jens laid me down next to the prince when Tucker reappeared. “Take Linus. Quick, Tuck! I see lanterns in the distance.”
Linus was nervous. “Um, how do I do this?”
Tucker didn’t respond, he only grabbed Linus and disappeared.
I wanted to freak out, but there were too many things wrong to pick just one to cry about. Tucker had tapped into the battery that I couldn’t touch, but now I couldn’t move much and couldn’t form words.
I’m sure it’s not a stroke. I’m in my young twenties.
Jamie’s clumsy hand found mine, and though neither of us could squeeze comfort into the other, that simple act united us in our pain. We’d been through much together, and I sincerely hoped this would be the final time I was responsible for his maladies.
Tucker reappeared and sized up the three of us. “I can only port one at a time, so brace yourselves.” He sized up Jamie with a bold look of determination. Instead of lifting Jamie off the ground, he knelt beside his charge and wrapped his arms around Jamie’s limp body in a tender hug that melted me a little bit. “I’m sorry, friend,” he whispered before the saw sliced through my cranium again.
8
Brotherhood
I wondered if I would ever get used to the agony that was being separated from Jamie. As the seconds ticked by, Jens grew more frantic, drawing two knives as I screamed. I wasn’t sure what he had it in his mind to do with the blades; it’s not as if anything needed cutting.
The only light aside from my hands caught my eye, and my screaming ceased for only seconds when my gasp replaced the outpouring of agony. Too many lanterns were charging down the path we’d cut through the forest, making Jens’s and Foss’s efforts seem like a joke. I stapled my lips shut and tried to keep quiet while the mind-torturing chainsaws did their best attempt at cutting my head open.
Jens bent down and scooped me up, turning us both invisible. “I know it’s awful, but if you can keep quiet, they might not know where we are. Tuck’s coming, baby. It’s almost over.” His eyes were in guardian mode as he scoped what little he could make out using the lanterns’ faint illumination in the distance. “It’s the Tonttu Army,” he whispered. His eyebrows furrowed together as he sized up the varying uniforms the soldiers wore. There was the purple from the Tonttu tribe, but there were also soldiers decked out in blue and yellow. “And Nisse? And King Gunnar’s men? Since when do they work together?”
“Find the prince!” Pontus shouted, and the soldiers fanned out.
Of course Tucker would port back just as the enemy broke through to the Darklands, spilling out like ants from a hole in the ground. Of course he was seen first thing from the light of their torches.
“There’s one of them! Get him!”
Tucker hit the ground seconds before arrows flew directly at him. Had he not acted quickly, it would’ve been a direct hit. This wasn’t a capture mission; it was a shoot to kill assignment.
Jens whistled, and Tucker crawled in the darkness toward us as Jens ran me to him and set me on the ground. “I’ll stay invisible until you come back. Meet me over by those trees,” he instructed, motioning to a far corner that could not be seen. “Quick, Tuck! Get her out of here!”
Tucker’s arm wrapped around my middle, and two seconds later, my headache was gone. I was on the sandy shores of Fossegrim in the middle of nowhere with only a few houses in the distance and rickety rowboats on the humble dock that looked like it had seen better days a few decades previous. It was peaceful at night, almost like slavery and the horrors of the Depravity of Man curse didn’t exist. I could see the red moon, and drew in a breath of tranquility that we were not in total darkness anymore.
Relief washed me from the inside out, but was quickly replaced by terror for Jens’s plight. Despite Tucker’s newfound magic, porting that many people was starting to take its toll on him. He held his chest like a runner, doubled over to catch his breath. I made a noise of earnest pleading, and though I couldn’t form words, he knew what I meant. “I’m on it, käresta. One more port, that’s all I have to do.” He was psyching himself up, which Jens really didn’t have time for.
He disappeared, and Linus moved to my side, his voice pinched with anxiety. “What the smack’s wrong? Why can’t you or Jamie move? Why can’t you talk?”
I tried to answer, but it was useless. Linus was scared, and I hated the sight of his worry being wasted on me. I didn’t like being the weak one. There was a whole laundry list of things I didn’t like about this situation.
Linus and I shared the same fear in that moment. He did what I needed someone to do, but would never ask for. Linus sat on the ground, lifted me onto his lap and held me. He knew not to look at my face, lest the understanding between us force me to devolve into a puddle of tears I would never recover from. My brother tucked the top of my head under his chin, supporting me when I couldn’t support myself. That’s the thing about your other half. When you’ve lived so long without it, the simplest gesture feels like finally being given permission to breathe.
When I felt a tear drip down my forehead and into my eyelashes, I knew Linus had felt the gap between us while he’d been gone every bit as much as I had. We weren’t meant to be separated, and I made it my mission in life that from now on, we never would be.
Linus was trying to suck down his emotions, but they were evident in his shaking voice. “I felt it. When I was dead. I didn’t feel the dying, but I felt without you. The emptiness. The separation from you. From myself. That’s not…” He buried his face in my hair and squeezed me tighter. “That’s not how it’s supposed to be! So whatever stroke you’re having? Get over it quick. Maybe you could get along without me for two years, but I… We’re not doing that again. It’s both of us, or none of us.” He shook his head. “Where you go, I go.” He gripped me afresh. “So don’t worry about a thing. I’ve got you, and I won’t… It’s… We won’t be apart anymore.”
Foss’s machete was drawn, and he sat between Jamie and the Kincaid mess, as if to guard us. It was imperative he not be seen until we got our ducks in a row, so he kept his head down. When he addressed Linus, it was in a low voice. “They were weakened like this once before when Tucker tried to tear down the wall your mother set in Lucy’s mind. Going around the wall was too dangerous. I won’t let Tucker do that again.”
Linus nodded, finally considering Foss. “Thanks. I had no idea this was a possibility. I mean, it looks like she’s had a stroke! Can she even understand me?” He laid me down on the grass between them, holding my limp hand.
I answered in an indignant moan, but Foss put words to it. “She can hear you and understand. She can’t move her mouth, though.” His hand reached down and fell into my hair, brushing through the tangles to relax the fears he knew were climbing inside me. “Shh. It’s okay.” His large hand cupped my face and stroked the crest of my cheek. I let out a fear-laced exhale as I tried to believe that everything would be okay eventually. “That’s right. Just relax. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
I closed my eyes and rested my head against Foss’s thigh, sighing at the revelation that he was near, and I would be safe. Though I couldn’t move to defend myself if something came upon us, Foss could, and that was enough.
When my eyes opened, Linus was looking between Foss and me with a guarded expression. He knew. I could tell by that look he knew enough about the situation to form concrete opinions. It was the one time I was glad I looked too pathetic to yell at. I knew the second I was back on my feet, Linus would have an earful for me.
Tucker and Jens appeared in a bloody tangle of limbs. I wanted to rush to them, but my stupid body was being stupid. Like a stupid piece of stupidity that just lay there and didn’t do what it needed to do. I hate being helpless.
Foss helped Jens sit down, his lips drawn tight at the arrow that was protruding from Jens’s thigh. “I can get it out, but I’d rather we had someplace to do it that wasn’t so out in the ope
n. I don’t want the wolves to smell your blood.” He pointed to the wound. “This is going to be a gusher.”
Jens had a bloody nose, an arrow sticking out of his thigh, and his hair was mussed more than usual. I wanted to hold him, to help patch him up, but I couldn’t do a thing. I had never been more frustrated than I was watching my beautiful man endure such pain with gritted teeth, and not being able to lift a finger to help.
Tucker held up a hand, trying not to fall over from exhaustion. “I’ll get us a house. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be back with something.”
I wanted to ask what the plan was, but of course, I was useless.
I watched as Foss gripped Jens’s hand like they were about to arm wrestle, and placed his free hand on Jens’s shoulder. “Breathe through it,” Foss coached him, keeping eye contact and setting the example by inhaling deeply.
I was transfixed at the level of brotherhood exuding from both of them as they clutched each other and held on for dear life. I don’t know how we’d gotten this far, but watching them get along and lean on each other was a beautiful thing. I couldn’t imagine what Foss might be like with his curse fully lifted; his heart had plenty of kindness in it already.
When Tucker returned, it was with a slight spring in his step. “This way, Team Tucker.”
I moaned at the terrible team name. No way was I going by that.
“Jamie, can you vanish Foss?” Tucker asked, kneeling next to his charge.
Jamie answered by lifting his clumsy hand and placing it on Foss to vanish him.
“Okay, then Foss, can you carry Jamie to the house on the hill up there? It’s the one with two chimneys. The occupants suddenly felt the urge to rent us their place for a week. They’re going on a vacation to Nøkken. They’ve always wanted to go.” Tucker cast me a dazzling grin. “Being a siren is just about the greatest feeling there is. Just call me your ace in the hole.”
I had other suggestions for what to call him involving the word “hole”, but kept it to myself. Foss hefted up the invisible Jamie, his heavy footsteps the only clue to their path.
“Linus, can you carry your sister? You won’t be invisible, but it’s late anyway. The couple living there got it in their minds that they needed to take this vacation quick, so hopefully they’ll be packed and gone by the time you get there. Lucy, close your eyes and pretend to be asleep. Jens, get ready to be swept off your feet by yours truly.” Tucker was actually good at taking charge every now and then. I could tell the extra magic gave him the confidence boost he’d been missing since, you know, getting Jamie and me abducted and tortured. He stroked the pouch that hung around his neck, and Clara Barton poked her head out to sniff his hand. The two were totally precious together.
Linus was careful as he lifted me off the ground. “You’re too light, Loos,” he said gravely as he walked up the hill. “And it’s not because I’m stronger now. This is unhealthy. Don’t they have greasy Chinese here?”
I snorted against him.
He lowered his voice, his jaw stiff as he spoke. “Not for nothing, I saw the way Foss looked at you. That’s some act the two of you’ve got going. Almost seemed like your marriage was real.”
I said nothing to this, but shut my eyes, pretending to follow the instructions Tucker had given me.
“Nice try, faker.” Linus walked up the hill for a few beats without talking, and I thought (foolishly) that I’d escaped the worst of it. “Jens took shifts with you, you know. When I was in the hospitals? When you fell asleep, he sat with me, playing Madlibs and doing anything he could to distract me from my slow death.”
I hated when Linus called leukemia his slow death. He was right, but it was horrible all the same.
“Jens fixed your car when it broke, put money in my wallet when we didn’t have much for gas or groceries, settled a few scores with jackholes who needed a good reckoning. Jens bought you presents I pretended were from me, because he’d rather you had them than get the credit for giving them to you. I’ve never seen anyone except for Mom and Dad be in love like how Jens loves you.”
I wanted to assure Linus that I was happy with Jens, that the Foss mess was far enough behind me that I could actually say with some certainty that I was only with Jens. My mouth couldn’t figure out how to do its job, so I was stuck cowering under the weight of Linus’s lecture, which thankfully ended once we got inside the house.
The owners of the one-bedroom square-sized quaint wooden house were gone, and I was grateful no one else would see me in my broken state. Foss directed Linus to the bedroom, where he lay me down next to Jamie on the bed with reluctance any brother would get at putting his sister into bed with a guy he didn’t know. He hovered, but I didn’t mind it. He pulled in a chair from the kitchen and sat by my side of the bed. The bedroom was small, holding only a trunk for clothes at the foot of the bed, the straw mattress on a handmade wood frame, and a hook with a hanging lantern on the wall. The entire house was made of roughly hewn wood and smelled like a piney rustic heaven.
Linus reached out and scooped up my hand in both of his, blowing on it to warm me, and then rubbing some heat in with friction. “You really can’t talk?”
My shoulders slumped and I did my best to shake my head.
His voice lowered, and he glanced at Jamie, who had his eyes closed, though I knew he wasn’t asleep. “That’s probably best for what I have to say.” He inhaled, steadying himself. “Uncle Rick told me about Undraland and all of it on our seventeenth birthday. They thought I wouldn’t make it, and it was one of those death-bedside confessions. I wanted to tell you. Begged Mom and Dad, but they were firm. Got in a good many fights about it. The only time Mom ever slapped me.” He lowered his eyes in shame. “But I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. Every day after that, I felt like I had to be the bigger one to carry the family secret so you could stay young.” He motioned to my body. “It was for nothing now. You’re so old. Undraland’s changed you.” He shook his head. “It’s not a bad thing, but I missed you growing into an adult. I feel like I closed my eyes for a minute, and my parents died, you got married, and a whole new world sucked the play outta you.”
I wanted to argue with Linus that I still had plenty of play left in me, but upon further thought, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d pulled a prank or told a joke that wasn’t because I was tired out of my mind.
Linus pointed to my lavender Chuck Taylors. “You match your shoes now. No matter what you’re wanting to say to tell me otherwise, you’re an adult now. I can smell it on you a mile away.”
Jamie’s hand moved next to mine to offer some solidarity, that he knew I was still me. That somewhere deep down, I was fun and young.
I wasn’t so sure I believed him. Maybe I was old.
Linus sensed my melancholy and sat back, shaking his head. “Maybe I’m being too adult myself. Maybe I’m reading it all wrong. I mean, you can dance if you want to.”
I groaned, but it was meant to be a laugh.
Linus knew what I meant, so he kept on with the song. His usual pep that came when he sang Safety Dance was muted to thoughtfulness that made the lyrics really punch me in the gut. “‘We can go when we want to. The night is young and so am I.’” He grabbed the toe of my Chuck and wiggled it back and forth so I was dancing.
That’s the thing about a good brother. He can find the play in you when you were certain it was lost forever.
“‘And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet, and surprise ’em with the victory cry.’”
I wanted to dance. With everything in me, I wished for the ability.
My body remained motionless, and despite Linus’s best attempts at pulling me out of my funk, I slipped further down into despair.
9
The Thing about a Good Brother
Watching Linus patch up Jens after Foss ripped the arrow out of his thigh was surreal. Dad’s lessons were not wasted on us, and I was grateful Linus was there to pick up the slack where I was lacking.
Jamie
and I were able to sit up in the bed now and speak, but we still couldn’t put our legs to use. Sensation was beginning to come back to our extremities like slow-moving molasses eking through our arteries. It was better than nothing, so I didn’t complain.
No sooner was Jens’s thigh wrapped did he demand the berries.
“Sit down, Jens. You shouldn’t put your weight on that leg yet. You’ll tear the stitches,” Linus told him.
My man was stubborn as a mule, and I wouldn’t have him any other way (except when he’s arguing with me. Then I want him to admit that he’s wrong and that I’m the queen). Jens shook his fist in the air. “I want it over tonight! I want that stupid bond gone!” The pain was making him irate, though I couldn’t blame him for his short tone. I was pretty tired of the bond, too. Linus acted as Jens’s crutch, and everyone was soon crammed into the small bedroom, waiting to see what had never been done before.
Linus produced the balled-up shirt he’d fashioned into a sack for the berries and set it in my lap. “How do we do this, now?”
Jens took the lead, though he was covered in sweat and looked about ready to fall over. “Grab my knife from my boot, Line. I can’t quite… It’s an elven blade. We have to dunk it in siren blood to bless it. Then they eat all the berries. After that, I use the knife to cut an X into both of their chests over their hearts.”
“Wait, what?”
I guess we’d left that out of the story, since Foss, Tuck and Linus all wore matching expressions of surprise.
“It’s fine,” I assured them. “He’s not cutting out my heart, just a little scar. After that, Jamie and I have to both wish for the bond to be cut. Then we have to barf up the berries, since they’re poisonous.”
“What? No,” Linus ruled. “Absolutely not.”
Jens shook his head at Linus, his blade ready. “It’s the only way, Line. It has to be done. You’ve seen how much the bond hurts your sister. We have to cut it.”
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