Gunnery Sergeant Fitch,
How did you know I served in the Marines? Hazel?
Emily
Chapter Five: Emily
Lying on his cot, Daniel’s thoughts were full of Emily. With the first e-mail sent he debated if he should have revealed he was on the rescue team that saved her. The war raged in his mind between what he had done and what might have been the right decision. If he were her, he’d want to know. Still what good would it have done? It would have done nothing except bring back the past. If she had moved past the terrible incidents from that day, he had no right to bring them up. Still guilt stabbed him in the gut for not being upfront with her.
Six years or yesterday, whenever he closed his eyes he could see the mission playing out in his mind. It was the same with almost every assignment he’d been on. No matter how hard he tried, some things he witnessed, did, and heard, were impossible to forget. They were forever ingrained in his memory and on his soul.
Closing his eyes, the tent disappeared around him, until he was no longer stretched out on his cot. The sweltering air curled around him, like a heavy blanket. His fingers brushed against the hot brick building. This was the place.
He held up his fist, halting his men, before he pressed his back against the hot brick and took a deep breath. They needed to wait for the signal before storming the building. With his night vision goggles on, he scanned the dark surrounding. Everything seemed calm, too calm. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled, alerting him something wasn’t right. He glanced back at his men, each of them on guard. Barrett’s weapon was raised as he scanned the darkness, no doubt feeling the same tension Daniel did.
He could only hope that they’d find the others and make it out alive. There had already been too many casualties on the first team. It was impossible for them to know how many had already succumbed to their wounds since the last transmission more than an hour ago. At that point there had been at least three alive. It was his job to get them out of there. Alive, he hoped.
The building appeared to be empty, but with the insurgents lurking around the abandoned town, he needed to sure. He needed to give the medics as much time as he could for them to move those who were injured. It would do no good for them to leave a bloody trail back to the Humvee. They’d meet up with the medevac further outside of town.
Gunfire echoed through the night air. With the town full of insurgents, it was too much of a risk to have radio communication, forcing them to proceed silently with the plan and hope the gunfire was the planned distraction. With the insurgents rushing toward the sound, Finch could lead his team and the medics in unnoticed. At least that was the plan.
With a nod he rounded the corner of the building, his gun at the ready. Stepping through the open doorway his gaze landed on a man collapsed against the wall, his finger instantly brushed against the trigger, ready to shoot. Expecting it to be an enemy soldier he almost fired, but as his gaze traveled over the man he realized there was no threat. The man was dead. The gaping wound in his stomach was more than enough to kill him, but from the bloodstained clothes it appeared there were at least two other bullet wounds.
As he forced himself further into the room his gaze went to the man’s uniform. Gavin. His gaze jerked to the man’s face and recognition sank in. Gunnery Sergeant Gavin’s eyes stared back at him, death already clouding the pupils. He’d known Gavin for years and for a moment the images of Mrs. Gavin and their two sons flashed before his eyes. There was nothing left for them to do for Gavin and he couldn’t spare the time to think about the Gavin family. He had to continue with the mission at hand. There were still two wounded Marines somewhere in the house that they might be able to save.
“For fuck’s sake,” he growled sitting up on his cot. If he were back in the States he’d grab a bottle of whiskey to push the memories away, but here it wasn’t an option. He needed to sleep but every time he closed his eyes he could see pieces of that fuck-up mission playing out like a video behind his eyelids. That was the last thing he needed. He needed to keep his head in the game. There was enough happening every day to screw with his mind, he didn’t need his own subconscious screwing with him too.
Collapsing back on the cot he rolled to his side, trying to focus on anything but that mission. Hazel. He pictured his sister standing in front of the classroom full of kindergarten students with more energy than any adult. As quickly as the image of his sister formed it vanished.
Two medics worked on Sergeant Sharp as his team kept guard. They needed to move, but Sharp’s condition was critical. He was giving them as much time as he could, yet that was nearing its end. His gaze shifted back over toward them. The blood loss had made her pale features almost ghostly.
“We need to be going.” Even to his own ears his tone was rough.
“Almost ready.”
He wanted to argue. If they didn’t get her to the medevac team soon, they’d lose her. With his medical training it was clear to him the blood loss was taking its toll on her. With the Humvees destroyed, most of the squad dead, and two gravely wounded Marines, Gavin had sought shelter in this building to wait for backup. That decision had cost him his life, but it might have been the only thing that gave Sharp a chance at surviving. Sharp, the sole survivor.
Chapter Six: Half Truths
The sun was creeping over horizon and the heat was already skyrocketing as Daniel strolled across the grounds to the computer tent. With little more than an hour of restful sleep he was up and ready for the day. His team was set to go out on patrol in a little more than an hour, which gave him time. Time he planned on using to check his e-mail.
Stepping inside, he polished off the shit that was considered coffee around the base. Coffee was his drink of choice in the mornings normally, but not here. It was always either as disgusting as mud or so watered down it shouldn’t even be called coffee. Still with as little sleep as he got he needed it to help clear the fog on his brain. He crushed the paper cup and tossed it toward the trash can as his gaze scanned the room.
Normally the place was crowded, with a wait for an open computer, but this morning luck was on his side. Not one but two computers were unoccupied. The early hour meant those who weren’t on patrol were still in their cots or at the mess hall, which helped to ensure the room was nearly empty.
He dropped into one of the folding chairs and woke the computer from its sleep cycle. It had only been a few hours since he emailed Emily, still he needed to see if she replied. Maybe she knew who he was. If she already knew he had been part of the rescue team it would take the burden off him.
He shook his head at the thought. If she knew she wouldn’t have pretended to be a stranger during her first letter. They were strangers technically, but she’d have said something. Wouldn’t she have?
“I should tell her the truth.” He mumbled to himself as he launched his e-mail account and signed in. “The full truth.” Even as his e-mail loaded he knew he wouldn’t go through with it. He didn’t want to be the one responsible for dragging up the past.
In the past he’d received letters and e-mails from strangers who wanted to show their support, yet none of them affected him as Emily’s letter had. Since receiving it he hadn’t been able to get her off his mind, even before he knew why her name sounded so familiar. What was it about her letter that stood out?
Now that he knew who she was he wanted to believe it was because he found her near death and now she was alive and well. Yet that didn’t explain the connection from the moment he opened the letter. Part of him wondered if it wasn’t because they were both Marines. She had already transitioned back into civilian life, while his transition was about to begin. The most recent Marines who came to mind who transitioned out of the service had a spouse and children. They had the support. He had Hazel but after more than twenty years living in a different state they’d drifted apart. There was so much he couldn’t tell her. So much she’d never understand.
Seeing Emily’s name at the top of his e-mai
l list made his mood lighten. He pushed his thoughts about his sister aside and clicked to open the email.
How did you know I served in the Marines? Hazel?
This was his chance to come out with the truth, yet he couldn’t bring himself to do it. She was unconscious when they found her and so deathly pale. She’d have no idea he was there. There was no reason to tell her. Yet keeping that information to himself felt like betrayal.
Miss Sharp,
There’s no need to be formal, please call me Daniel.
Hazel didn’t tell me. I’m sure she’s mentioned you in her e-mails, but your military service didn’t come up. Staff Sergeant Lawrence Barrett is part of my squad. My understanding is you and his younger brother Christopher Barrett were stationed together shortly after boot camp. He asked about the letter I received, since it’s unusual I receive mail, and shared that tidbit about his brother and you.
A teacher huh? Is that something you’ve always wanted to do?
Best part of Blessing Elementary is that it’s just down the street from Blessing Café. That is if it’s still there. Since your letter I’m craving their amazing coffee. The crap I just drank was worse than two-day old coffee. It was like mud. If you’re a coffee drinker, enjoy an extra mug for me.
Until next time,
Daniel
Chapter Seven: Strength
The afternoon sun warmed Emily’s skin as she sat on the back deck, her thoughts circling back to Daniel. She didn’t know him, but there was a connection between them. It was possible it was because of how much Hazel talked about him. He was her younger brother, but she admired him. Excitement with the possibility he was coming back to Blessing to settle down had Hazel walking on air. It was clear having her brother close by meant more than words could describe. Emily only hoped it would be as good in reality as the fantasy Hazel was building in her mind.
The disappointment would strip the life out of Hazel, if she learned Daniel wasn’t the same person he was the last time they lived in the same town—twenty years ago. There wasn’t a doubt in Emily’s mind that Daniel had changed. No person could spend twenty years in the military and be deployed countless times and not change. He witnessed things that would be unforgettable, things that would change who he was and possibly even what he believed in.
She had gone through it firsthand. The person she was before she signed on the dotted line, giving herself to the Marines, was not the same person she was now. Boot camp strips a person down until they feel like they’re at their breaking point, then it rebuilds each person into a Marine. There were times when it was so hard she didn’t think she could make it through. The idea of doing one more mile, let alone two miles, almost killed her. In the end it made her stronger. It turned her into a person she didn’t know she could be.
The transformation was dramatic enough that there were times she couldn’t believe who she’d become. It made her wonder, if she had family, would they even recognize her? Not that it mattered. She was alone in this world. Being a foster child with no family connections was the reason she joined the Marines. She wanted to go to college for elementary education and the military seemed like a good way to do that. Only she hadn’t realized how great the cost would be. Not financially but emotionally.
If she had a chance to go back and do it all again she wasn’t sure what decision she’d make. The connections she made with other service personnel was as close as she got to family. The closeness she had formed with her follow Marines meant she ended up grieving for them—an emotion she hadn’t known before her tour in Iraq.
It also allowed her to experience friendship, camaraderie, courage, and even love. Her squad had become a family of sorts. One that someone who hadn’t served didn’t understand. It had been her lifeline as she experienced her first tour of duty and even the deployments that had followed. Just like the camaraderie with others in the service had been her lifeline to get her through her injuries and then her discharge from the Marines.
Daniel would go through that and Hazel needed to be accepting as he tried to find his place in his new world. It wasn’t her friend’s strong suit to wait but pushing Daniel would only hurt his progress. Somehow, she had to make Hazel see that before it was too late.
Bringing her coffee to her lips her thoughts turned back to Daniel’s last email. She could almost picture him standing in Iraq with his gear on and the scorching sun baking him overhead. The hot air stagnant around him, as he drank crappy coffee to stay alert. There were days that never seemed to quit, they’d drag on with one thing after another. If it wasn’t patrols, it was raids, or attacks on the camp. Those days seemed the worst for many but for her it had been the quiet days that got to her. Waiting for the next attack put her on edge because it always seemed worse than before. Too many quiet days and she became jittery.
As she thought about Daniel in Iraq the words from his last e-mail circled through her thoughts. She hadn’t replied to it yet because she wasn’t sure what to say to him. Or maybe it was the fact he mentioned the Barrett brothers and the memories that had stirred within her.
Since moving to Blessing she had tried hard to keep her past tucked away, not allowing it to interfere with her new life. That didn’t mean she hid her military service or cut herself off from other veterans. Rather, she embraced the veteran community which was surprisingly strong in Blessing and the surrounding area. She chose to be a support system for those who needed it and a friend that anyone could rely on. By doing that she shoved her own traumatic experience deep inside of her, not allowing it to come out. There were times it backfired bringing her nightmares back with a vengeance.
Life has a way of breaking even the strongest among us. Don’t give up. You can win if you stay strong. Those were the words a nurse said to her when she woke up in the hospital asking about the rest of her squad. When they wouldn’t answer her it should have been the first clue as to how bad things were. Believing her team was alive she fought for her life and the opportunity to rejoin them. It wasn’t until later that she found out the true accounts of that mission.
That had been her breaking point, the point she wasn’t sure she could overcome. Yet there she was. She could have let it defeat her or steal her reason to smile, but with each day that passed she knew she couldn’t give up. She owed it to the rest of her team who didn’t get the chance to make it back to their families. For them she fought to stay alive and through rehabilitation. Now in their memory she did what she could for those struggling through what had happened to them.
Christopher Barrett had been one of the ones who made her see she couldn’t give up. He’d been the one to visit her in the hospital every chance he got and was always there with words of encouragement anytime she needed it. Without him she wasn’t sure where she’d be. He was a good friend, one she could never repay.
Her heart skipped a beat, fear thickened her blood, and made her stomach roll. Christopher was deployed and occasionally, the fear would creep up overwhelming her. This was one of those times. With her fingers wrapped tightly around the coffee mug, she focused on her breathing. With every breath she forced herself to relax. This wasn’t Christopher’s first deployment and being career military it most likely wouldn’t be his last either. There were never any guarantees in life, especially not in war. Christopher knew how to take care of himself. He was an expert marksman, the top shooter of their platoon, and now a sniper.
“He’ll make it home.” The words were soft but hearing them made it easier for her to relax. She had to trust him and everyone who had his back.
Rising from the chair she decided she needed to e-mail him. He might not get back to her for a couple days but at least then she’d known he was okay. Then she could respond to Daniel without the weight of fear pressing down on her. “I can’t spend my days worrying about what the future holds. I can only focus on today.”
Chapter Eight: Exploring the Possibilities
As Daniel lowered himself into one of the folding chairs he coul
dn’t help but shake his head. In the last week he spent more time in the computer tent than he had the whole time he’d been in Iraq. Emily Sharp was messing with his thoughts, making him feel like a school boy again. Instead of hoping to catch a glimpse of a girl in the high school hallways he was stalking his inbox every chance he got hoping for an e-mail from her.
With his e-mail loaded he glanced down the list, ignoring any of the others as he searched for one from Emily. There were two from Hazel that he scanned past before seeing Emily’s name. Shifting slightly in his chair he clicked to open it.
Daniel,
Please call me Emily. The only ones who call me Miss Sharp are my students and, well, Mr. Kline, the principal.
I apologize for being short in my last email. Your “Marines have to stick together. Oohrah.” comment threw me for a loop. Caught off guard, I didn’t give you the proper response that you deserved.
Blessing Café…that place cannot be summed up in words. You know their coffee is amazing. Have you tried their food? I guess not. Hazel said you haven’t been to town since before I moved here, and they started serving food a little over a year ago. Their sandwiches are the best around. How about instead of meeting for coffee when you’re in town, we make it for lunch? Then you’ll get the best of both. Hazel can even join us if you’d prefer. I’m not sure she’ll even let you out of her sight. She’s so excited that you’re coming home.
I’ve always wanted to be a teacher. I remember growing up playing school and I had to be the teacher. Being a foster child, I wasn’t sure how I’d afford college. The military was my opportunity to get my degree in education. Little did I know I would love being in the Marines so much. I re-enlisted and put my degree on the back burner for a bit.
When my service ended I was…lost. That word is inadequate but it’s the only way I can describe it. It took me almost a year before I went back to finish my degree. Blessing Elementary is my second teaching job. Before this I spent a year teaching at an elementary school in Ohio.
Touch of Home (Blessing Montana Book 2) Page 3