by Karen Swart
Chapter 10
I didn’t shift to Chax’s place; I was not in a mood for one of his lectures at the moment. Instead I shifted to the fountain he found me at the other night. I knew he would find me here eventually, but until then, I had some time alone.
I looked around to make sure that ‘alone’ was the case, and luckily no one else was around. I’m sure they were probably training at the house. I walked over to the bench near the fountain, where I was sitting the other night, and planted my butt there, looking at the water again.
How could I have been so stupid? I attacked another Fallen armed and he wasn’t? Then I went even further and jammed my blade into his chest, almost piercing his heart? I know we can’t die like that, but I bet it still hurts like hell. What was I thinking?
Yeah, sure, the guy pissed me off, but was it enough to do that to him? No, I didn’t think so. Chax was right; I should have left this for him to sort out, but no, I had to use my freaking stupid brain. Man, the looks on Nanini’s and Lada’s face were breaking my heart. Not only did I turn into a monster, I may have lost my friends in the process.
My first and only friends to add to it! I’m a walking disaster. No wonder my mom hates me. OMG, what is my mom going to do when she hears about this? She will eat me alive this time. Oh, and my dad, he will be so disappointed in me. “I know my Filiola will make me proud,” were his words and look what I did. Oh no, I totally messed up everything! Crap, why couldn’t I listen for a change and think like a normal person?
I sat there for hours, thinking about everything. Soon my view of the water started to fade as the sun went down and darkness took its place. The whole time I was sitting here, I mentally punched myself over and over again. “Stupid girl,” I could hear my mom say. “Oh no, baby,” I could hear my dad say, and I could picture his face with those words. I let him down. I didn’t make him proud; instead I made a disgrace of myself. The air shifted behind me and I knew that Chax had finally found me. I heard his feet hit the ground and just kept my head down.
“Kasadya,” he whispered, walking slowly to stand in front of me. I kept my eyes on the ground, too embarrassed to look at him. He was right. I was a little girl throwing tantrums all over the place, and deadly ones at that.
“You have to come with me. The council awaits,” he went on, and at those words I looked up at him. His face said it all. Not only was I in big freaking trouble, but also he was disappointed in me, and I already knew Mom and Dad were too. No way this wouldn’t reach them; most likely they had already turned their backs on me to leave me to my fate, a well-deserved fate.
Tears started to form in my eyes, and I knew that if I kept looking at him it would turn into a waterfall. I returned my face to the ground and stood up, holding out my hand. “I won’t cry,” I kept telling myself, trying to take what was coming with some dignity. Face it like a man they always said. He took my hand and we shifted. The next thing that came into my view was a tiled floor with small patterns on them. Chax let go of my hand and walked away, leaving me to my fate. I don’t blame him. If I were in his shoes, I’d walk away and never look back.
“Kasadya Levourne, step forward,” a man said. I took a deep breath and lifted my head, taking in the room.
I was in some sort of court-like room. In front of me sat Vulcan, another male, a female, and Chax. To my left were my mom and dad. Dad looked at me with sad eyes and Mom didn’t even bother to look at me. No surprise there. Now I really was not worth the effort. To my right stood Astin and Dontalion. Astin’s face was neutral and Don looked at me, also with a sad face. Okay, so this is not going to be fun. I get it. Bracing myself for the impact, I took a few steps and stood in the middle, looking up at them.
Chax didn’t even look at me; he kept his eyes on the bench in front of him. Vulcan finally looked at me, anger in his face but at least he was looking at me. I stood there ready to face my mistake. In a Fallen life you grow up very fast, or at least I did.
“In your absence we have discussed the incident that took place today. We took in everyone’s testimony in what lead to it and also what happened. Do you wish to say something before we make our final decision?” the other guy asked.
What could I say? Everything they most likely heard was the truth. I earned a punishment for doing this, so suck it up and take it. “No,” I replied, and kept my eyes on him. No use trying to look at someone else; they were either mad or disappointed in me.
“Then it is final. In the charge of disobeying your Custos’s direct order to refrain from violence, and to the charge of attacking and injuring a fellow Fallen, we find you guilty. Your punishment will begin immediately,” he said and looked at my mom and dad. I kept my eyes on him. “As the Apprendo’s parents, do you agree?” he asked my parents, and my heart sank down into my stomach.
A short silence followed then my mom answered, “As her parents, we agree.” I felt a tear fall down my cheek. Yeah, that’s my mom. Hell, no matter what, I’d never make her proud, so this was not a surprise at all. My dad agreeing hurt a lot, but I deserved it. I sucked back my tears and kept my eyes on him.
“Kasadya Levourne, you will remain in solitary confinement for one month. You will only be allowed to see Dominus Custos Chax and Vulcan. You will not be allowed to interact with any of the other Apprendos living in the house. You will only be allowed to use the facilities within the house after they have used them. As for your training, you will not be allowed to continue training with the teams. However, Dominus Custos Chax’s request was considered and you will therefore be escorted to and from his house for training until your month is over.
“When your month is over, we will consider new testimonies about your behavior and hope to find an improvement. If there is none, you will continue with your confinement until you shape up,” the guy said, and at the last word he looked at Vulcan, who stood up and walked towards me. I kept my eyes on the guy who just ended my life for a month, maybe even more.
Vulcan came to stand in front of me. “Come,” he said and walked past me. I took one final look at Chax, who still wasn’t looking at me. I have a feeling “brutal” is not the word for my next few days of training.
So I turned around, my eyes catching my mom and dad as I turned to walk behind Vulcan. My dad looked at me, sadness in his eyes, but my mom didn’t even give me that honor. No, she just kept her eyes on the bench where Chax and the others sat. One hell of a mother, huh? I turned my eyes from them and followed Vulcan, my throat burning from the tears I was trying to suppress.
We walked outside the room and then the doors closed behind us, on their own, of course. Vulcan offered me his hand, his face still angry, so I just took it to get this over with. We shifted into a room with just one bed, no widows, and a small bathroom. He let go of my hand and shifted out again, leaving me alone in my newfound home. Well, better get used to it.
I walked over to the bed and planted myself on it, bending my head to my hands and watching the floor again. They were so pissed at me. Chax refused to even look at me, and I must admit that was really getting to me. Don’t know why; it was not like he was my favorite person here. Maybe because I tried to prove myself to him and only ended up proving him right. Oh yeah, that must be it.
The look on my dad’s face had the tears streaming from my eyes and over my cheeks; he was so disappointed in me. The air shifted, and still crying, I refused to look up. A pair of black boots came into view, followed by my suitcases.
“I asked Nanini and Lada to pack up your things for you. They ensured me that everything is here. I will bring you some food and refreshments in a while. It will give you enough time to unpack,” Vulcan said, and at the last word shifted out.
Well, at least I had my stuff to keep me company, but I made no effort to get up and unpack. I just sat there, remembering the whole day. About half an hour later a knock sounded at the door. I lifted my head and looked at it. I’m so not in the mood for this anymore. Another knock sounded, followed by Vulcan’s vo
ice, “Can I come in?” Yep, no luck for “leave me alone.”
“Yes,” I replied and looked back at the floor.
He opened the door and walked in, closing it behind him. Scared I’ll try to run? “I have brought some food and refreshment. Seeing that it’s already late, we will all retire for the night. Good night,” he finished, placing my food next to me on the bed then walking out, locking the door behind him. I wonder if shifting is possible? Nah, didn’t think so. They would have blocked me or something. I looked at the food and decided to eat, needing to keep my strength up. A few bites later I placed it on the small table in the corner, not very hungry.
I walked over to the suitcases and picked one up, placing it on the bed to start unpacking. No use in delaying the matter; I was here for a whole month. I placed the first pair of jeans in the small closet next to the bed. Yep, all luxury was gone with the punishment. “Oh, Kas, shut up and get on with it,” I scolded myself. I repeated the movement and soon my suitcases were unpacked, and I was looking at an empty one.
My dirty clothes were still not back from the laundry, which by the way was also another secret I wanted to find out. I just hope it reached me here, wherever here may be. I had kept my pajamas on the bed and now took them and my bath goodies to go take a shower. I stopped at the mirror and placed them on a small bench. I then looked up to see myself in the mirror, taking a step back from the sight.
I was covered in blood; my face, t-shirt and everything. I remember hitting Marcus in the nose and how his blood sprayed over me. No wonder Lada and the rest backed away. Not only were my hands covered with his blood, but my whole face and clothes too. Just look at the sight of me, I looked like...like a monster.
Was that what I had become, a monster? Someone who took pleasure in hurting others? My throat started burning again from the tears I was trying to hold back, but I gave in and let them run freely. I felt so bad; indescribable emotions ran through me. Still crying, I turned on the shower, got undressed, and stepped in the water. Freezing cold started to turn slowly into warm water; I didn’t even flinch, too shaken.
I looked down to see the water below red from Marcus’s blood. I opened up my heartache and let it flow with the water, trying to wash away my awful day. After a long time the water started running cold again, so I sucked up the tears and finished off. I toweled off the water on me and got into my pj’s then walked over to the bed. I was exhausted, from fear to adrenalin back to fear and finished off with tears.
I climbed into bed and drew the covers over me, hoping to hell I could fall asleep and try to escape this day. Luck finally came to me. After a few minutes I was pulled into a dream, and for once it started pretty good.