The night after Chloe’s lunch with her brother, she’d opened up to Beck over dinner. According to Chloe, Linc had told her everything about his falling-out with Beck, without minimizing the fact that he’d slept with Beck’s girlfriend. Chloe had defended him, mentioning how proud she was that he’d accepted his role in the breakup of their friendship.
As much as it galled him, Beck appreciated the man’s candor and acceptance of responsibility. Linc had also revealed Beck’s role in the business deal with their father, but when Chloe had asked her brother if Beck had known their father had dementia at the time, Linc admitted Beck hadn’t been aware. It had been a transaction, pure and simple. With a little satisfaction on Beck’s end thrown in, but Chloe didn’t seem to hold that against him.
Although Linc still wasn’t happy about his sister’s friendship with Beck, apparently he’d promised to find a way to deal with it in a better way. Another point for her Linc Kingston. Despite his personal feelings, which Beck had to admit had diminished since seeing how much Linc cared for his sister, Beck was grateful he hadn’t given Chloe a hard time. And since Beck didn’t have to deal with Linc personally, all was well.
For the rest of the week, the specter of his father’s surgery hovered, and he kept busy with work. Since Chloe had moved in, he’d been neglecting the hands-on part of the business, and though his higher-up people could handle it, he’d spent the time catching up. He was aware of the fact that he’d stopped paying as much attention to Chloe and transferred his focus to his business, but it was necessary on many levels.
Work needed him.
His family needed him.
And Chloe shouldn’t get used to his complete attention.
That didn’t mean he ignored her at night, and she seemed to accept and maybe even understand the withdrawal that was obvious to both of them. Beck needed space while he dealt with the upcoming surgery and whatever the results might be, and Chloe gave it to him. She also provided warmth and caring in bed.
Selfish as he was, he accepted what she offered. How could he not when it was given so freely?
On Wednesday morning, Chloe and Beck walked into his private office as her cell phone rang, and she answered immediately. “Hi. What’s up?”
Beck sat down behind the desk and waited for her to finish.
“Thanks, Amelia. Yes! I’ll see you at three. Text me the first address.” As usual, Chloe’s smile kicked him in the gut. She was so damned beautiful, and he was drawn to her no matter what else was happening in his life.
“Thanks!” She disconnected the call and glanced up, meeting Beck’s gaze.
“Amelia. That’s your Realtor friend, right?” As he asked, his stomach twisted, and he breathed through the uncomfortable sensation.
She nodded. “She was able to schedule three apartment viewings today. The ones I liked best. Two of the buildings are close to each other, so it’s not hard to see them all this afternoon.”
He studied her face but couldn’t get a read on her feelings about how fast things were potentially happening with her move. He, on the other hand, hated the building pressure in his gut.
He put his hand on the mouse, turning on his computer, and glanced at today’s schedule on the screen. “I’ll reschedule a call and I can go with you.” He wanted to make sure these were suitable places for her.
“I already told you that you don’t have to come with me.”
He narrowed his gaze. “I’m going.”
His tone had her widening her eyes. “Okay. Thank you.”
He nodded. “Where are the buildings located?” Hopefully downtown, somewhere close by so he could meet her for lunch on occasion.
“Two on the Upper East Side and one in Midtown,” she said. “Okay, I’m going to Natasha’s office. I’ll stop by at two thirty when I’m ready to leave.” With a wave, she walked out the door, leaving him staring at her sexy ass swaying as she walked.
Pushing away the locations that took her from him, Beck got to work, and anyone who called got the brunt of his mood. Until Ronnie, who’d been working for him for three years and wasn’t afraid of him, snapped back and let him know he was being a dick to the people he worked with. Not in those words.
But Beck knew she was right. Still, he had to deal with Chloe leaving soon, and deep down, he knew the separation was necessary for them both.
* * *
Chloe wished Beck hadn’t joined her. His mood was atrocious, and she understood he was anxious about his dad’s surgery tomorrow. Based on how often he’d holed up in his office this week, he had much better things to do than go apartment hunting with her. Leaving him would be hard enough, and she needed the space to evaluate these apartments without his negative energy infusing every unit and individual room they went into.
They started on the Upper East Side. The first apartment he deemed too small and, since it had no pets, something they hadn’t put in the listing, and one day she might want a dog, she didn’t argue.
The second one was two bedrooms and one and a half baths in a doorman building.
Beck stepped past Amelia, strode from bedroom to bedroom, and folded his arms across his chest. “This won’t work. If you have a guest, they’ll have to share your bathroom.” Beck waved a hand, dismissing the place, and she hadn’t even examined the kitchen or seen the view.
Ignoring him, she walked through the apartment and over to the window. “Look at this.” The unit was on the twenty-third floor and overlooked the East River.
Beck grunted from behind her.
She took in the kitchen next and loved the dark granite countertops, white cabinets, and stainless appliances. “This is pretty.”
“The whole place is too small,” he said.
Chloe turned to see Amelia glancing from Chloe to Beck, taking a step back when her gaze landed on his frown. “I’ll just leave you two to discuss things,” she murmured and walked out into the hall.
“You’re in a horrible mood and I understand why. You’re worried about tomorrow. I get it. But I’m the one who has to choose,” she reminded him.
He raised an eyebrow. “Did the last apartment or this one appeal to you?”
“Well, no, but I wanted to look at them and make a decision.”
He shook his head, a wry smile lifting those smoldering lips.
“Okay, fine. You’re right. But give me a chance to say it first,” she said, grinning back. “It’s my life and I need to be in control.”
He nodded in understanding. “Okay. I get it. But I hope the next one is much bigger or we’re going to have a problem,” he muttered.
Rolling her eyes, she stepped past him and headed to Amelia to give her the final verdict on apartment number two.
The third place was amazing. Modern and not quite ten years old, the condo was a duplex, much bigger, as Beck had demanded, with two bedrooms down four steps, the master on the main level, a beautifully sized living room, state-of-the-art kitchen, and a view of a park. Chloe felt like she had a keeper.
“I love it!”
Amelia nodded. “I thought you would. It’s a condominium, though, so you need to jump through some hoops and get approved. But first we start with an offer. If you’re ready that quickly.”
“I’m sure she needs to see some other places.” Beck spoke up for the first time in this building.
To his credit, he’d allowed her the space she’d needed, from meeting the doorman to discussing amenities and walking through the apartment itself.
“Actually, I don’t. I did research on all the places I looked at, and this one is perfect. This apartment is the only one available, and no others seem to be coming up any time soon.” She turned to Beck.
If he didn’t want her to move out, if he wanted her to stay, this was the time for him to speak up, and she wasn’t referring to him complaining about the apartment itself.
She waited a beat and waited some more. When he didn’t say anything, she ignored the scowl on his face and named a number to offer
the condo owner.
“That’s a solid price, and the owner will like it even if he does come back with a counter,” Amelia said. “There’s also a chance that the condo owner may want to sell. Would you be interested in buying outright?”
“Hang on. You need to do a lot more research before you agree to buy something,” Beck said.
She set her jaw. “Do you think I don’t know that? My family is in real estate. I’ll get back to you,” she told the agent.
Amelia nodded in understanding. “It’s just something he mentioned to me when I told him I had a showing today. Let’s keep in touch, and I’ll talk to him about the rental in the meantime.” She smiled at Chloe and ignored Beck.
“Sounds great,” Chloe said.
They stepped into the hall and Amelia locked the apartment. All three of them took an elevator downstairs before Chloe and Beck parted ways with the real estate agent on the street.
Turning to Beck, Chloe opened her mouth to yell at him for his attitude, but he stopped her by bringing his mouth down on hers, his tongue sliding through her lips and tangling with hers. As usual, her body melted into him, her brain short-circuiting thanks to his kiss.
He lifted his head and met her gaze. “I didn’t mean to undercut or underestimate you. I’m just stressed and overwhelmed worrying about tomorrow.”
Her anger fled with his sort-of apology and she sighed. “I know. Trust me, I’m not going to throw away millions on an apartment I don’t know enough about.” Millions she had thanks to a trust fund set up by her father’s father.
“I know. I was looking out for you.” He put a hand on her back and flagged down a taxi and was silent during the ride back to his loft downtown.
* * *
Chloe lay in Beck’s bed. After they’d had an amazing, satisfying round of sex, he’d pulled her into his arms and fallen into a deep sleep. This whole week, she’d accepted that he’d been using her to exorcise the demons that haunted him. Used wasn’t the right word. It wasn’t that any body in bed would do. She knew he wanted only her, just as much as she understood it was temporary.
He’d rolled onto his back, releasing her from his hold, and beside her, he slept hard. She was glad he’d been able to fall asleep given tomorrow was his dad’s surgery. She, on the other hand, was tossing and turning. His moodiness this past week had been emotionally draining, but instead of crashing like he had, she stared at the ceiling because her mind wouldn’t shut off.
She thought back to her lunch with Linc. After their talk, she’d been optimistic about possibilities, and she’d hoped Beck would realize not only did he care about her, he wanted her in his life. And not just on the periphery. After all, when he let down his guard, they had fun, enjoyed meals and the ins and outs of living together, and they were in sync in so many ways. More so than she’d ever been with Owen.
A few weeks ago, she’d been a stranger to Beck, yet he’d stepped up and made her see how much was possible if she’d push past her fear. She’d tried so hard to do the same for him, but he didn’t seem to be willing to try and get past his issues.
Linc was just one example. She’d told him about her brother’s admission about sleeping with Beck’s girlfriend and how he’d known the rift was his fault. Chloe had hoped Beck would soften toward her brother. Instead he’d listened, said he was glad she knew the truth and that Linc would no longer give her a hard time. He’d acted like the story had nothing to do with him at all, because he’d distanced himself so far from the relationship with his one-time friend, he had no interest in any kind of personal détente. And it was sad.
As for Chloe herself, the closer they came to his father’s surgery day, the further away from her he pulled. As she watched him sleep, her heart squeezed hard in her chest. This was the only time his expression was soft and relaxed, not tortured. She wanted so much more for him than he seemed willing to accept or give, all because he refused to open his heart to anyone outside his immediate family. Loss. His fears were so real.
She traced a hand down his face and pressed a kiss to his cheek before rolling over, determined to fall asleep.
* * *
Beck was up early, without the help of an alarm clock, prepared to face the day. Though he’d told Chloe she didn’t need to come to the hospital, she’d been up and ready even before he was. They met up with his brothers in the waiting room, where Mom would come once she’d settled their father in.
Time dragged by and even his brothers, who were usually good for jokes and laughs, were silent. Chloe stayed throughout, bringing back coffee and snacks and generally doing whatever she could for his family but mostly for him. And when the surgeon stepped into the waiting room, she grasped his hand and held on tight.
The woman’s gaze came to his mother. “Mrs. Daniels?”
Audrey was already on her feet. “Yes, Dr. Skinner. How is he?”
Everyone had stood and waited.
The doctor smiled. “Surgery went well. We were able to go in laparoscopically as we’d hoped. We thought it was stage one, but it appears the cancer has grown through the wall of the colon but not…”
From there, Beck’s vision went blurry, and a rush sounded inside his ears. He heard the words lymph nodes, possible chemotherapy, and prognosis, and his world collapsed around him.
“Beck? Did you hear what she said?” his mother asked. “Although it’s stage two, they’re very hopeful.”
“Right. Like they were hopeful with Whitney.” The walls were closing in, and he needed to get out of here. “I have to go.”
His brothers looked at him with concern on their faces.
“Beck, wait.” Chloe stepped up to him. “I’m sure you want to see your father once you’re allowed, so let’s sit down and we can talk.”
He shook his head. He didn’t want to break down in front of her or, worse, feel closer to her while she tried to comfort him, an impossible feat at this point in time.
She placed her hand on his arm, and he deliberately shrugged it off, not wanting her concern or her pity. “I need to be alone.”
And on that note, he turned and strode out of the room and away from the hospital and the words that reminded him of another time and place, when the outcome hadn’t been positive at all.
* * *
Chloe watched Beck go and did her best not to take his rejection personally. She’d been watching him while the doctor discussed her findings and had seen him shut down, his expression go blank. The color had drained from his face, and she’d been worried about him even before he spoke.
“Chloe, don’t let him get to you. He’s not dealing well with Dad’s illness because it reminds him of something,” Tripp said, obviously not sure how much she knew.
She glanced at the man who’d lost his twin yet still seemed to be more composed than Beck. Everyone processed death differently, and Tripp was a medical professional. He’d had more experience with illness after his sister’s passing. Chloe had no doubt Tripp’s career choice had everything to do with his twin’s illness.
“I’ll drive you home, and by the time I get back, maybe I’ll be able to see Dad.” Drew glanced at her, his warm gaze comforting.
Audrey walked over to her. “Go on, honey. It’s going to be a long day, and you’ve done enough for us already.” She patted Chloe’s arm. “Thank you for being there for my son. I hope you don’t take his reactions too personally. He had the most difficult time processing Whitney’s death. I took the boys for counseling, but I honestly don’t think Beck really listened or opened up.” She lifted her shoulders and sighed.
“You did the best you could,” Chloe murmured. “And you were dealing with your own loss. Beck’s going to have to figure things out for himself.” She had the distinct impression he wasn’t going to let her help him, either.
Drew hooked his arm through hers. “Come on.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind taking an Uber, and that way you can wait here.” She didn’t want to put anyone out on an already stressful d
ay.
Beck’s brother nodded. “Positive. This way I keep busy instead of sitting around waiting.”
She shot him a grateful look and said her goodbyes. Both Tripp and Audrey promised to let her know if they heard from Beck, and she hoped he checked in with someone. His family had enough to worry about.
Drew had his car and drove her downtown to Beck’s. He insisted on walking her up to the loft and making sure she got inside safely. She assumed he also wanted to see if Beck had just gone home. He hadn’t.
“Do you have any idea where he went?” she asked as Drew turned to leave.
He shook his head. “At some point, he’ll end up somewhere to grab a drink and brood. I’m going to see Dad, and then Tripp and I will go looking for him. I have a couple of ideas where he’ll end up.”
She swallowed hard. “Bring him back safely,” she said, her voice hoarse from trying not to cry.
She was worried and stressed and very concerned about Beck’s reaction to something that really did sound potentially positive in the long run. He’d gone somewhere else while that doctor spoke, and Chloe had to wonder if he’d heard everything she said or put his own spin on the words that went in one ear and out another.
“I will, Chloe.” Drew pulled her into a hug. “You’re good for my brother. I know he’s got walls up but don’t give up on him, okay?”
She treated him to a small smile. “I’m not sure the final decision of what happens between us is going to be mine. But thank you. I know he’s going to need his family. I’m glad you’re all so close.”
He winked as he headed out, leaving her alone in Beck’s apartment with no idea where he’d gone. Having known the day would be long, she was already dressed in comfortable clothes, so she kicked off her shoes and left them by the door, then grabbed her iPad from her room and settled in on the sofa in the family room to wait.
To kill time and avoid worrying, she touched base with her friends who’d been calling her all through the weeks since the wedding, wanting to know how she was doing. She’d let them know she was fine, but now she began to open up about her life and her plans, feeling freer each time she explained leaving her job, entering the contest, and considering opening her own business.
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