by Wendi Wilson
I realized I was being childish, but I couldn’t bear to face them. I was too ashamed.
By dinnertime on Monday, after skipping all my classes and my training with Cris, my time was up. I was lying in bed, staring into space when my door flew open and crashed against the wall with a loud bang. I flew upright, hand clutched against my chest to hold my heart inside.
Crispin Jonas stood in the opening, his lips pinched together and his arms crossed over his chest.
“Get up.”
“You can’t bust in here like this,” I argued, but I got out of bed anyway.
I copied his stance, crossing my arms in front of me as I narrowed my eyes at him. I tapped my toe against the floor for added measure. He needed to leave so I could return to my pit of shame. I had some more wallowing to do.
“What are you going to do about it?” he snapped, and I was taken aback.
Cris had never been anything but encouraging and understanding with me, even when he was pushing me past my limits during our training sessions. His harsh words confused me and put me on the defensive.
“Get out, Cris,” I said wearily, not feeling up to verbally sparring with him.
“Make me. Or are you too weak?”
He stressed the last word, and a spark of anger flared inside me. He must’ve sensed it somehow, because he went in for the kill.
“Maybe Tiana was right. Maybe you aren’t strong enough to do what needs to be done. Maybe you don’t belong here, after all.”
Despite thinking all of those things myself over the last few days, hearing Cris say it out loud made my hackles stand on end.
“I am not weak,” I gritted out.
“Aren’t you?” he asked, his tone sharp with disbelief. “One mistake and you decided to hide out in your room like a toddler.”
“Get out!”
The truth hurt. It also made me angry.
“Make me,” he repeated, the words slow and measured.
Unbidden, wind swirled around me as electricity crackled over my skin. My chest heaved with short, ragged breaths as energy built inside me, begging to be released. My body rose, levitating a foot off the floor.
I met Cris’s eyes, and the fog of wrath lifted. There was no fear in their blue depths. Despite my scary display of magic, he stood his ground, a slight smile playing on his lips. He watched me closely as I let the energy drain from my body and drifted back to the floor.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, feeling a fresh wave of self-loathing coming on strong.
Cris rushed forward and grasped my shoulders, saying “Don’t do that.”
His voice had returned to its normal tone, kind and encouraging.
“Do you see what you did there, December? You took control instead of letting the power control you.”
“Like I did when I attacked Tiana?”
“Well, Tiana is a little bitch and had it coming.” My eyes widened and my head jerked back, prompting him to say, “Sorry. That wasn’t very professor-like of me, was it?”
“No,” I said, feeling the urge to laugh and cry simultaneously.
“December,” he said, his grip tightening on my shoulders and his eyes locked on mine, “you lost control in an extreme situation with your biggest rival. She has tormented you for weeks, pushing harder and harder until you broke. She put her hands on you. Anyone would’ve lost control under those circumstances.”
I opened my mouth to argue, to say that anyone else doesn’t have the freaky powers flowing through their body that I do. That I’m a danger to others. That there may be an evil hiding deep inside me. An evil that relished the fear in Tiana’s eyes.
But Cris jerked me forward and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. I stiffened instantly, uncomfortable with his embrace. He was an adult male, my teacher, my mentor—but he was treating me like a close friend or family member and I didn’t know how to take it.
“You’re a good person,” he whispered, and my body relaxed the smallest bit.
Only then did he release me, pushing me back to an arm’s length. He gave me a boyish grin and ran his fingers through his blonde hair.
“Sorry about that, but I thought you might need a hug.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled, not sure what else to say. The situation was just too weird.
“You like me, right?” he asked. He must’ve seen the panic in my face, because he held up his palms toward me and took another step back. “Not like that. I meant, as professor. An advisor. Maybe even a friend? What I’m trying to say is that you don’t dislike me, right?”
“No, of course not,” I said, wondering where he was going with this. “I like you as a person.”
“So,” he said, “if you like me as a person, a mere associate, and you can tame the power within you after I’ve made a very concerted effort to piss you off, what makes you think you could ever hurt your close friends? The people you really care about?”
“But Tiana and Aubrey…”
“Like I said, they had it coming. Go, December. Go to your friends. You need them as much as they need you. And there’s no need to punish yourself anymore.”
And just like that, the thousand-pound weight that I’d been carrying around my neck disintegrated. Cris was right. The time for isolation was over.
“I am starving,” I said, giving him a small smile. “I’ve been living on chocolate bars and peanuts for three days.”
“Go,” he said, stepping back to give me access to the door. “I’ll have your things moved back to your old room.”
I nodded and moved into the doorway before pausing and turning back. I met his blue gaze and held out a hand. He took it gently, shaking it up and down.
“Thank you,” I said, my words genuine and full of feeling.
“Anytime, December. Anytime.”
Chapter 18
The silence was instant and thick as soon as I stepped foot into the dining hall. I nearly turned around and ran out, deciding I would wait to talk to my friends in a more private setting. But the screech of chair legs against the tile floor broke the silence and a blonde head was flying toward me and, before I could blink an eye, I was wrapped in Shaela’s arms.
“Are you okay?” she asked, pulling back to let her eyes rove across my face and body.
“I’m s-sorry,” I stuttered out, my eyes burning with emotion.
I’d been awful, shutting her out completely for three days, but she didn’t hold it against me. I could see it in her eyes. Her only concern was for my well-being.
She hooked her arm through mine and led me toward our table, saying “Listen D, as pissed as I was that you ignored my demands to let me in, I get it. What happened was…a lot. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
My hand fluttered up to my necklace, the “best friends” pendant that Shaela gave me for my birthday. I rub it between my fingers, offering silent thanks to whoever put Shaela Goodman in my life.
I just hoped Easton was as forgiving as she was.
When we reached the table, Shaela released me to round the corner and take her seat next to Charles, who offered me a friendly smile. I stood there, waiting for Easton to acknowledge my presence. Nervous, I shifted my weight from foot to foot. Finally, he looked up from his tray of food.
“Hey,” I said, my dry throat making me sound hoarse.
His foot kicked out, pushing the empty chair next to him away from the table. He waved a hand toward it, silently telling me to sit. I sunk into the chair, swiveling to face him.
“Easton, I—”
“Later,” he said. “Eat first, then we’ll talk.”
I might have argued if I hadn’t been starving. Or if my relief at putting off the inevitable conversation for a while longer wasn’t so great. I knew we needed to hash it out, but I was afraid my self-imposed isolation might have been the last straw for him.
I’d ignored all twelve attempts he made to coax me out of my room. Refused to answer his pleas to at least talk to him through the door. I had, to quote my eloquent me
ntor, acted like a toddler.
Shaela tried to carry on a normal conversation as I ate but, other than me telling her I was moving back in, I didn’t respond with more than nods and shrugs. Easton sat frozen, staring at the table top like he was lost in thought.
Deciding on the perfect words to break up with me, no doubt.
As soon as I set down my fork and pushed the tray away, he rose from his seat. He offered me his hand and I took it, reveling in the warm feel of his skin against mine. Without a word, he led me from the dining hall, up the stairs to the boys’ wing, and straight into his bedroom.
He closed the door and, locking it, turned to lean back against the wood. I scuffed a toe across the carpet, waiting for him to speak, but he just stared. When I couldn’t bear the silence any longer, I whispered out an apology.
“I’m sorry I shut you out,” I said.
“Where’s your ring?” he asked, seemingly ignoring my apology.
I patted the pocket of the ratty jeans I’d had on all weekend.
“I didn’t want to see your aura,” I admitted. “I was scared after the last time I saw you.”
“Why?” he asked, cocking his head to the side and taking a step away from the door. “What do you think you saw?”
My eyes burned, unbidden tears filling them up and spilling down my cheeks. I sniffed and shook my head, swallowing against the emotion.
“In the gym…after, you know…your aura was white. You were scared of me, and rightly so. I was out of control.”
My eyes dropped to the floor as shame tried to wrap its prickly arms around me once more. Easton’s shoes came into my line of sight and his fingers slipped under my chin, lifting my face so he could look into my eyes.
“Take it out and put it on, December. I want you to know, without a doubt, what I’m feeling right now.”
Doing as he asked, I shoved my hand into my pocket and pulled out the ring. Before I could put it on, Easton plucked it from my fingers and held it front of my face.
“This shows you the colors, but each one is open to interpretation. I was scared, yes. That’s why my aura was white. But I wasn’t scared of you. I was scared for you. Scared that you were going to do exactly what you did, retreat into your own head, and isolate yourself from those who love you.”
As he spoke those last words, he lifted my right hand and slipped the ring onto my finger. His aura lit up before me and fresh tears filled my eyes, spilling down my cheeks. Pink with yellow streaks and purple around the edges, it showed me love. It showed me happiness and relief, and a touch of desire.
“You’re not mad?” I asked, honestly dumbfounded.
“I was angry that you shut me out. That you felt like you couldn’t talk to me, again. But then a certain professor made me realize that you needed time to sort out your own feelings, and I needed to put mine aside and let you have that time. That your isolation wasn’t about me. That if I loved you, I’d wait for you to come to terms with the stuff you were dealing with and just be there for you when you were ready.”
“Cris said all that?” I asked, guessing that’s who Easton was talking about.
He nodded, and I barked out a laugh.
“Good thing he doesn’t take his own advice. He busted into my room and baited me, making me lose my temper so I could prove to myself that I can control it.”
“Did you attack him?” he asked as his hands slipped around my waist.
“Nearly,” I said, my voice a little breathless as he pulled me in close. “I got the anger under control, though, and proved his point. He called Tiana a bitch who deserved what she got.”
Easton laughed, his eyes sparkling. “Can’t argue with that.” His face grew serious and he leaned his forehead against mine. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shook my head and pulled out of his embrace, my face warming under his questioning glance.
“I need to take a shower and brush my teeth,” I admitted.
I’d snuck out of my room to use the toilet during my isolation, but nothing else. I was sure the only thing that stank worse than my body was my breath.
Easton grinned and took my hand squeezing it between the two of his.
“Will you come back when you’re done?” he asked.
I nodded, and he moved to the door and opened it for me. I wiggled my fingers at him in a small wave and darted through the opening, practically running all the way to the room I once again shared with Shaela.
I paused outside the closed door, wondering if I should knock first. Even though it was technically my room, I’d moved out and Shaela had become accustomed to her privacy. Shaking my head, I opened the door and shouted her name, hoping to surprise her.
Shaela loved surprises.
Only I was the one who was surprised as I spotted her jumping from her bed, straightening her clothes as Charles stood nearby, his back to me. His shoulders heaved up and down with each breath, and I couldn’t contain my grin as I looked back at my best friend.
She gave me a pained look, her cheeks pink, and I said, “Oops. Sorry.”
But I really wasn’t. I was so happy for Shaela, I couldn’t stop beaming at her. Things were obviously progressing with Charles and, despite her obvious embarrassment, there was a twinkle in her eye that was impossible to miss. She was happy.
“Don’t mind me,” I said, walking over to my side of the room. “I just came to grab some of my things so I could shower, then I’m heading back to Easton’s room.”
Understanding dawned on Shaela’s face, her eyes darting to my side of the room as if seeing it for the first time. My bed was made, my trunk open with clean clothes stacked inside. Shaela looked back at me, tears shining in her eyes.
“You’re moving back in?”
I nodded, my own happiness making my eyes burn with emotion. Shaela rushed me, wrapping me in a bear hug as she squealed in my ear. When we pulled apart, I looked at Charles, who was staring at Shaela with a soft smile, like her happiness made him happy.
“Anyway,” I said, “I’ll leave you two to…whatever.” I smirked at Shaela, and she rolled her eyes. “Don’t wait up,” I sang as I walked out the door and pulled it closed behind me.
Things were looking up, and I whistled a merry tune as I walked down the hall to the bathroom. It was time to move on. To accept both sides of myself and learn balance.
I didn’t realize at the time just how hard that was going to be.
Chapter 19
I walked down the hall toward Easton’s room with clean clothes and wet hair, anticipation making my body hum. His door was standing open, and I stuck my head in and took a look around. The room was empty.
I stepped inside to wait for him. I figured since he was expecting me, he wouldn’t be long. I headed for the bed, but before I could sit, the sound of the door closing behind me had me whirling around.
Easton leaned casually against the wood panel, one hand turning the lock on the knob. Wearing nothing but a loose pair of shorts, the look in his eyes told me he was thinking the same thing I was—finally. Finally we were together, alone, with nothing standing between us.
And his aura told me we wanted the same thing, too.
We rushed forward at the same time, our lips touching as our bodies crashed together. Easton wasted no time parting my lips with his tongue, delving deep and sending shivers down my spine. He walked me backward until my legs hit the edge of the mattress. Spinning, he pulled me down with him so that we were laying on our sides, facing each other, not once breaking our kiss.
My hands ran over his bare shoulders and down his chest, my fingertips caressing every peak and valley. His moan rumbled into my mouth, telling me that he liked it. I flattened my palm against his skin, feeling his heart pounding against it.
I was wearing one of my uniforms, since I didn’t have any decent regular clothes, and Easton’s hand slipped under the hem of my shirt to stroke the sensitive skin of my back. His touch was hot and electric, and I bucked closer, throwing one leg a
cross his hips. Grabbing his bicep, I rolled onto my back and pulled him over on top of me.
Easton braced his weight on his arms as he continued to kiss me, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. The feel of him, with nothing between us but my underwear and his thin shorts, sent a jolt of sheer heat through me. I groaned, threading my fingers through his white-blonde hair and kissing him harder.
I started to feel dizzy, like the whole thing was a dream, as the heat between us grew hotter and higher. I missed this. I missed him. And all I wanted was to get closer. I tightened my legs’ grip on his hips and growled with disappointment as his lips broke away from mine.
The disappointment quickly faded into bliss as his tongue brushed against the sensitive skin of my neck. His lips followed, and a sweet, sucking sensation sent me reeling even higher. His teeth scraped my earlobe before he kissed his way down the column of my throat to the open collar of my shirt.
I tilted my head back to give him better access and let my eyes drift open. I saw…the ceiling?
“Uh…Easton?”
He lifted his head to gaze into my eyes, the heat of lust making his usually ice-blue irises a slightly deeper shade.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, but, uh…” I mumbled turning my head to the side.
Easton’s eyes bugged out as he took in our surroundings. We were hovering in the air, his back only a foot or two from the ceiling. I concentrated on releasing the wind I’d subconsciously called, little by little, until my back hit the mattress with a bounce.
Easton rolled off to the side and propped himself up on one elbow so he could look down at me. His smile was soft and sweet, and his aura was pink and purple and yellow. No white. No fear. I felt myself relax.
“That was awesome,” he said, leaning down for a quick peck of his lips against mine.
“You don’t think it’s freaky?” I asked. “Something happens every time we get close like this.”