She wanted to tell him. To share her feelings. After all they had shared everything else: their bodies, their fears, their anger and pain. And now their love?
Except it wasn’t their love, it was only hers, in spite of the intensity of their lovemaking and the romantic appearance of these last few days.
She knew all about Basa’s deep-seated sense of responsibility for those around him, his need to right the wrongs. And that was all she was to him—a wrong to be righted.
The ache in her chest was spreading and, needing to make it stop, she leaned forward and took his face in her hands, kissing him fiercely.
‘I need you,’ she whispered.
And he pulled her to her feet and led her back into the house, where they stripped one another naked and she welcomed the wordless oblivion of her body’s response to his.
CHAPTER NINE
GAZING DOWN INTO the lake, Basa stood shivering for a moment in the crisp morning air and then, tipping forward, he executed a perfect forward dive.
His heart jolted, and he felt the chill of the water like a punch. Striking out, he began to swim towards the distant shore. Normally he loved swimming in the lake—loved the sense of freedom and peace, the chance to connect with nature in its raw state—but today he just needed to move, to lose himself in the rhythm of his body and briefly suspend the conflicted thoughts that had dogged him since waking.
Last night had been incredible—He frowned. No, that was wrong. There were no words, or none in his vocabulary, to describe what it had been like, but he did know that it would never be as good with any other woman.
They had made love repeatedly, feverishly at first, with his body responding to the white heat of her desire and the urgency of her mouth, and then more slowly, each of them holding back, letting their hunger build in time with their accelerating heartbeats, neither one wanting that time to be the last, so that even before their shuddering bodies had stilled they were reaching for one another again.
He had fallen asleep with Mimi’s body caught against his and woken early with a cramp in his arm. Shifting free, he had found it impossible to doze off again, with his body tuning in to the tension in his head, so he had quietly rolled off the bed, found his swim-shorts, and made his way onto the deck.
Slowing his stroke, he lifted his head from the water. He was more than halfway across the lake and his muscles were warm now, and aching. Using the glow from last night’s asado as a beacon, he headed back towards the deck, his arms working in time with the arguments and counter-arguments firing back and forth.
Logically, he knew that he and Mimi had no future, and that the only reason it felt as if they did was the fact that they had been cooped up together with a barrel-load of heightened and complicated emotions and a shared history for company.
A shared history that was still mired in scandal...a scandal that definitely hadn’t yet reached its sell-by date. And he couldn’t risk exposing his family, or Mimi, to any more unwanted media attention.
His fingers grazed the wooden underside of the deck and, reaching up, he pulled himself out of the water, smoothing his wet hair back, feeling his skin burning in the cool air.
This time tomorrow his life would be back on track, he told himself. Okay it was going to feel a little odd, her not being there, but with the benefit of time and distance it would soon seem like nothing more than a fantasy frozen in time.
Only, having steeled himself to face a future without her, now he was floored by the reality of what that would mean.
He couldn’t picture a bed without Mimi in it—and it wasn’t just sex. He loved to lie and watch her brush her hair. Loved to hold her in his arms while they read to one another out loud from their books.
How could he walk away when every thought, every action came back to her?
Breathing out unevenly, he made his way back into the quiet of the house and to her room. She was still sleeping, and for a moment he stared down at her, his body loosening with desire, his heart pounding out of time, as he watched the steady rise and fall of her shoulders.
Then, as though sensing his presence, her eyes opened and she looked up at him drowsily. ‘Basa...’
‘I’m here.’
She shivered when he reached out and touched her bare collarbone, her eyes more grey than blue in the hazy morning light that was inching into the room. ‘You’re cold.’
‘Sorry. I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a swim in the lake. I’ll go take a shower...warm up.’
‘I’ve got a better idea.’
Her fingers slid up his thigh and his muscles bunched as she pressed her hand flat against the erection that was pushing against the damp fabric of his shorts.
‘Come back to bed,’ she whispered. ‘Body-to-body heat is the best way to get warm.’
It wasn’t heat he wanted—it was her. And not just to warm up his body. But what he wanted was complicated, fraught with risk.
He watched her slide his shorts down over his hips, and as he slipped beneath the sheets he let his hunger blot out everything else.
* * *
‘Forgive me.’ Switching off his phone, Basa ran his hand over his face, grimacing apologetically at Mimi. ‘That was my head of HR in New York. She’s been sitting on something for a few days now and I really needed to sign it off.’
They were on the plane now—somewhere over the North Atlantic. Both of them had slept on the overnight part of the flight, but since breakfast he had been trying to resolve this issue with his North American office.
Mimi looked up from her book and smiled. ‘It’s fine. It gave me an opportunity to get stuck into this.’ Her blue eyes rested on his face and then dropped to the book in her lap. ‘I’m nearly finished, so I should be able to give it back to you before we land. Or I can just give it to Alicia,’ she added.
Her remark was innocuous enough, the kind of polite comment anyone might make about a book they had borrowed, but he felt his body still, saw her still too, and knew that she had picked up on the unspoken implication of her words: when they stepped off the plane in London they would be going their separate ways.
‘Keep it.’ He managed to smile, his body tensing in ever-tightening anticipation of a moment he was dreading. ‘Please, I’d like you to keep it.’
‘Okay, well...thank you.’ Looking up at him, she bit down on the corner of her lip. ‘Was it a big problem? Your call?’
He shook his head. ‘No, not really. It’s a bit of a headache, but it’s nothing major, and certainly nothing that can’t be sorted. It’s just that I have to be the one to sort it, and I don’t normally drop off the grid so comprehensively.’
She frowned. ‘But doesn’t that happen every time you go to Patagonia?’
He held her gaze. ‘No, actually, it doesn’t. Usually, I crack and end up calling in.’
Her eyes narrowed. ‘You told me there was no Wi-Fi.’
‘There isn’t,’ he said quickly. ‘But I do have a satellite phone.’
‘That you forgot to mention?’
‘No, I didn’t forget. It was deliberate.’ He sighed. ‘In the beginning I didn’t want you radioing home for back-up, and then later...’
He hesitated. Making love to Mimi and then sorting out this mess in New York had temporarily stifled the debate in his head over what he should do and what he wanted to do. He had done this journey so many times, and he knew that they were probably less than an hour away from landing. Now that they were so close to England he could no longer avoid the bruising reality of the facts.
If he didn’t do or say something in the next sixty minutes then he was going to end up sleepwalking into a situation he didn’t want—namely, Mimi’s abrupt departure from his life.
But not from his head.
He felt his chest tighten, the impossibility of it all making his whole body tense with a panic he had never felt befo
re.
When his mother had been killed he’d been too numb with shock to feel anything, and later the need to care for his sister and father had overwhelmed his own desperate loneliness and loss. And that night at Fairbourne when he’d called his lawyer had been the same. There had been no time to think about his own feelings; that had come later, after the dust had settled. And however terrible it had been—and it had been terrible—both times had been played out in public, shared with family and friends and police officers and lawyers.
This feeling was his alone, and he had to deal with it on his own.
His heart began to pound. It was an unsolvable dilemma. He and Mimi might work on an island on a lake in Patagonia, but they weren’t outlaws. They couldn’t run away and hide out at the edge of the world for ever.
Back in London—make that anywhere people had smartphones—his relationship with Mimi would be news, and once it was out there he wouldn’t be able to control it.
He knew exactly how bad it might get. His body tensed as his mind recalled how bad it had been before. For a full year he hadn’t been able to open a newspaper or search for his family’s name on the internet without wanting to dig a hole and bury himself.
He couldn’t unleash that kind of abuse on his loved ones.
‘And then later, what?’
His head snapped up at the sound of Mimi’s voice. He’d forgotten they were in the middle of a conversation, but now, looking down into her wide, blue eyes, he realised he was fighting a battle that had been lost the moment they had arrived on the island and given in to the inexorable sexual pull between them.
He took a breath. ‘Then later... I didn’t want you to leave.’ Reaching out, he took her hand. ‘I don’t want you to leave now.’
Somehow saying it out loud made it more real, more urgent, and instantly he felt his mind refocus. He’d been thinking about this the wrong way—seeing their time together in Patagonia as an exception. But they didn’t need an island to make this keep on working for however long it took for the fire between them to die. He had plenty of homes scattered across the globe, all of which were well protected from the public’s curious gaze. Homes with high walls, large grounds and loyal staff, including well-trained and highly efficient security teams. With a little effort on both parts they could carry on just as before. All he needed to do was find out if Mimi was willing to make that effort.
‘I don’t want this to end. You and me...what we have. I thought you might come and stay at my townhouse...maybe we could talk it through.’ He hesitated. ‘I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I’m not ready to say goodbye just yet.’
For a moment the only sound in the cabin was the hum of the engine and the faint chatter of his crew, and then Mimi looked up at him, her mouth trembling.
‘I’m not ready to say goodbye yet either.’
He pulled her against him, his mouth finding hers. There was a fullness in her chest, a relief that seemed stupid now she had agreed, but he couldn’t stop himself from pulling her closer, then closer still, until there was no gap between them.
* * *
It was raining, and after the wide open skies of Patagonia, London felt like a toy town. Glancing up through the tinted glass at the grey English clouds, Mimi felt her stomach flip over. Since that moment during the flight, when Basa had told her that he wanted her to come and stay at his house, her emotions had been swirling inside her like a tornado. She was happy and scared, excited and stunned, and nervous—absurdly and acutely nervous.
Every time she opened her mouth she thought she was going to blurt it all out: her feelings, her love for him. She could feel it swelling up inside her, pulsing between them.
She clenched her hands in her lap. She loved him so much, but telling him would be an act of madness. He might have feelings for her, but he’d never so much as hinted that they were of a permanent or romantic variety, and him not wanting to say goodbye yet didn’t change anything. What he was offering was merely an extension of their current arrangement, not a declaration of eternal love.
‘What are you thinking?’
Her pulse jumped as Basa leaned over and put his hand on hers, pulling her fingers apart and then slotting them between his own.
She smiled. ‘Everything feels so small.’
He nodded. ‘I know. It’s crazy, isn’t it? Thirteen million people live in London, but right now it feels like a village.’
His dark eyes rested on her face, his mouth curving up into a smile that made her forget to breathe.
‘Are you okay with this, Mimi?’ he said abruptly. ‘About coming back with me to the house? I mean, I threw it at you at the last minute.’ He grimaced. ‘And it’s not as if I’ve been considerate of your wishes so far.’
Her stomach somersaulted. ‘Are you not okay?’ she asked. Was he trying to be fair? To atone for his behaviour? Or had he changed his mind?
‘Yes. I mean, no.’ He frowned. ‘Or do I mean yes? Whatever.’
She felt his fingers tighten around hers and, lifting her hand to his mouth, he kissed it gently.
‘I really do want you to come and stay with me, but I want to make sure that’s what you want too.’
‘It is.’ She bit into her smile. ‘It really, really is.’
Whatever was in her heart would wait. It would have to wait. Right now what mattered was the heat in his eyes...a heat that felt like a caress against her skin.
Heart hammering, she leaned forward and kissed him. It was a long, slow, deepening kiss, and hunger was zig-zagging through her body as he slid his hand around her waist. She arched against him restlessly, her fingers sliding through his hair.
‘Mimi...’ He groaned her name and then pulled his mouth from hers, breathing out unsteadily. ‘We need to stop now.’
‘Why?’ she whispered against his mouth. ‘Or is that your way of saying you won’t be held responsible for what happens next?’
His glittering gaze locked with hers. ‘Right now I’d say I’m definitely suffering from diminished responsibility.’
‘Really?’ She pressed her hand against his trousers. ‘It doesn’t feel very diminished to me.’
His eyes were trained on hers. ‘We’ll be home in five minutes.’
From somewhere inside his jacket his phone began to buzz, and after kissing him lightly on the mouth she slipped free of his arms. ‘Don’t worry,’ she said softly. ‘I can wait.’
Gritting his teeth, he yanked the phone from his pocket. ‘This had better be important, Rebecca.’
The car slowed, then stopped, and with her head still spinning from Basa’s kiss Mimi opened the door.
As she stepped out onto the pavement a group of maybe thirty paparazzi surged forward, seemingly from nowhere, pinning her against the car. She blinked, blinded briefly by the camera flashes, her hand fumbling for something to grab on to as they called her name.
‘Mimi, over here!’
One of the men pushed his microphone into her face, his nostrils flaring with excitement.
‘Mimi, what’s happening with you and Basa? Are you two an item?’
She turned away, trying to cover her face with her hand. But, sensing her paralysis, they were hemming her in, all of them pushing closer, so close she could smell their collective aftershave.
‘How long’s it been going on? Are you living together, Mimi?’
‘What do you think those pensioners will say when they find out about your affair?’
Her head was reeling, her skin crawling with panic, and she was finding it hard to breathe, much less move.
‘What the—?’
She heard Basa swear violently under his breath, and then he was beside her, shielding her with his body, his size and the unforgiving expression on his face creating a space around them. He pulled her against him as he and his driver shoved their way through the clamouring pack an
d up the stairs into his house.
Her legs felt as though they were made of feathers. ‘It’s okay... I’m okay,’ she mumbled.
‘Of course you’re not okay.’ Basa’s voice was taut, like a sail snapping in high wind. ‘Here, sit down.’
They were in a living room, and gratefully Mimi sat down on a dark green velvet sofa as their driver followed them into the room.
‘I’m so sorry, Mr Caine.’
‘It’s fine, Paul. Just get the car parked and then get someone to drop off another one. Nothing too eye-catching.’
Mimi was shivering. Her teeth were chattering and she felt sick. It had all happened so fast. One minute she had been in the car, kissing Basa, and the next it had been as if time had gone into reverse, and she was back outside the home she had once shared with her mum and Charlie.
Basa was holding out a glass of tawny liquid. ‘Drink this.’
It was brandy. She didn’t like brandy. But she drank it anyway, and after a moment breathed out unsteadily.
‘I don’t understand,’ she said slowly. ‘How did they know we would be here?’
Basa’s face was like stone, and there was a roughness to his voice when he spoke.
‘Somebody saw us in that street in Buenos Aires. They took photos of us. I guess from a distance it must have looked like a lovers’ tiff.’
He held up his phone and she stared at the screen, wondering how something so small could cause so much damage. Her heart quivered. It felt strange, looking at herself and Basa together. The photo was nearly a week old, and in that week they had gone from enemies to lovers. But the camera didn’t lie, and even though they were clearly arguing, she could almost see the pulse of attraction between them, in the angle of their bodies and the tilt of her heads.
And someone else had noticed it too.
She felt a flare of panic and her hands balled into fists, but Basa didn’t notice. He was staring past her into the distance, as though he was watching something unfold that was visible only to him.
Craving His Forbidden Innocent Page 14