“Make sure you get the right one, if that happens,” Graves added. “There are sometimes other necromancers rotating through the fort. It’d be unlucky if that happens.” He glared hard at Garon, who looked away.
“Yeah. I need more luck. I also need the best charisma I can get. Hell...” Garon looked at Threadbare. “We’ve got a bit of prep time, right? Can you montage me Ruler?”
“I could. Are you sure?”
“Positive. I only ever had two adventuring jobs when I was alive, and thanks to Graves refining the soulstones, I’ve got two more job slots open. Ruler is charisma, luck, and wisdom, right?”
“Yes.” Threadbare nodded. “I could loan you my scepter too, if you want.”
“No. That’s fine. Just the job and some grinding should do fine. If we’ve got time for it.”
“We should,” Celia said.
“To a point,” Graves added, glancing back at the crates. “I told you I used to be in the Royal Necromancers, right?”
“Yeah,” Garon glanced at him. “Is there something going on with them?”
“The royal necromancers? No. But a few times I got access to their vaults, to borrow magic items or read old texts. We’ve got a few boxes of soulstones down there, traitors mainly. Some of them have been in there a while.”
“And?”
“Once, out of curiosity, I cast speak with dead on them. And for the next three days I was deafened. They were screaming, Garon. Screaming endlessly, without lungs.”
“Shit,” Madeline said.
“Yes. No body, no senses, and unless someone casts speak with dead, no way to talk to anyone else. Just eternity in your own little crystal prison, with no one but yourself for company.” Graves shot another look back at the wagon. “It hasn’t sunk in to most of them, yet, but I’ve been making sure to cast the speak with dead spell three times daily, and let them chat with themselves and myself. But sooner or later it won’t be enough. We need to get them bodies, and the longer we take on that, the more pain and suffering it’s going to cause for them.”
And then, everyone, Threadbare included, looked to Cecelia.
She closed her ceramic eyelids. “Even after death I don’t get to escape these kinds of decisions, huh?”
“You can if you want,” Threadbare offered. “Nobody’s really in charge here. We could talk it over and put it to the vote.”
“Calling frogshit on that one, boss,” Glub piped up for the first time, and everyone else looked over to him, surprised. “What you say usually goes. You’re kind of the most important dude here. I think it’s the hat. It’s totally because of the hat, isn’t it?”
Threadbare took of his top hat and looked at it. “It’s nice, and I like it. But if anyone else needed it, they could have it.”
“No,” Cecelia said, patting his head. “Keep it. It looks nice on you. And I gave it to you, a long time ago, so no takebacks. So how long do you think we should take to grind, how long do you think we should ask our soulstoned people to wait?”
“Why don’t we ask them?” Threadbare said.
Graves blinked. “Er. Well, it might get them thinking about it if they haven’t already.”
“But hey, they’re cultists, like you said earlier,” Kayin threw in. “Probably used to hard questions anyway, right?”
“Probably a bit more inured to the notion of existential dread. Yes, let me go ask them.” Graves headed back to the wagon, muttering “Speak with Dead,” along the way. “Hello!” he said and got a chorus of happy voices back, gabbing and babbling at him as he settled in to listen, throwing in small talk as needed.
The minutes crawled on. The toys watched, then drifted off to their various business, until it was just Cecelia, Threadbare, and Kayin waiting by the fire.
Threadbare took off his top hat and rubbed his head again, then decided to risk it. “Celia?”
“Yes?”
“If it’s not too much of a bother, could I ask you to hold me please? Like you used to do?”
He watched her face shuffle, resolve into a sad smile. “Oh, Threadbare.” She scooped him up, settled down on one of the fallen logs, and Threadbare sighed in happiness as he settled into her embrace as best he could.
He’d waited five years for this, and it was good. Finally, he was in his little girl’s arms again, and it didn’t matter that they were ceramic, or that she smelled different, or that she was smaller than she used to be. She was still Celia, and he was still her teddy bear, and all was right with the world.
That lasted for a few minutes, then Cecelia shifted, surprised.“What?”
“You look comfy. Do you mind?” Kayin asked.
“Um. I guess not.”
Threadbare turned his head, as wooden legs poked against him. Kayin had settled in Cecelia’s lap, curled up in a catlike ball.
“This isn’t like you, that’s all,” Cecelia said.
“I know. But it feels right,” Kayin said. “I... tell the truth, I didn’t expect shifting over to a catkin to influence me this much. It’s like thinking through jelly, my impulse control is all screwy, and my attention span is shot all to hell.”
“If you want, when Graves isn’t busy he could try that Evict Spirit skill on you, transfer you to another body.”
“This is the last wood golem we’ve got though, right? And Threadbare, you’re out of the reagents to make another?”
“Yes,” Threadbare replied, shortly. He was a little cross with her for interrupting cuddle time.
“Besides, I think it’ll get easier once I get my mental stats up,” Kayin sighed. “Didn’t expect catkin to be so low. Or to be so... it’s like everything’s way more fun, and the less seriously I take it, the better I feel. Catkin are a weird race, I guess. I’m thinking the one I ran into when I was a contract killer was a really experienced one. And I shouldn’t gripe anyway, because I got the skill I wanted out of it.”
“Oh?”
“It’s called Nine Lives. I THOUGHT something was screwy about that catgirl. I should’ve killed her three times over, but each time she got back up.”
“Did you get her, in the end?”
“No, she managed to escape. I heard she ran off and started a dungeon somewhere, then got punked by the royal guards eventually. Or maybe not, maybe she still had some lives left. Seriously the skill’s THAT good.”
“Oh.” Cecelia settled back. “Sorry, just trying to get comfy.”
“If you want me to move, that’s fine. I... know we didn’t have this sort of relationship. Or any, really, beyond mutual respect and being knights together. I’m not looking for anything, just...”
“Friends?” Threadbare offered.
“Friends,” Kayin decided. “Friends is good. Yeah, let’s do that.”
“I’m game,” Cecelia said. Her hand strayed down to rub between Kayin’s ears, and the catgirl emitted her first surprised purr. “I never had too many of those. I’m glad you’re one of them.
Friends, Threadbare thought. Yes, that would do. His little girl was back, but he had to share her, now. But that was fine, because she’d still cuddle him, and that was all he wanted, really was for her to be happy and give him lots of hugs.
And as they waited, a heavy, black weight settled in to one side of them, as Pulsivar moved over to join the nap pile. “Um...” Cecelia said, flailing for purchase with her free arm and bracing herself against a wooden bole.
Then Mopsy moved in on the other side, and it got easier.
For a while, the toy golem and the two doll haunters just lay there with the cats in the cuddle puddle, with the fire burning down, and the stars overhead. And it was right.
Eventually, Graves finished his discussion, moved back to the fire, and saw what had become of his friends.
Your Adorable skill is now level 31!
Smiling, Graves turned his back, and started shuffling off, taking it slow, his animated pants moving his wasted muscles along while he balanced with the cane. “See you in the morning, then.”
“No, it’s fine,” Cecelia said. “We don’t sleep like this, do we? I mean, golems don’t sleep, right?”
“Not normally,” Threadbare said. He sighed, and wiggled down, out of the cuddle pile. “What did they say?”
“I’ll get the others, first,” Graves yawned. “You may not sleep, but I do, and it’s been a long day so I only want to explain it once.”
Soon, the toys were reconvened, much to the disgruntlement of the cats who had enjoyed sleeping next to a fire-warmed porcelain doll.
“Most of them are fine with waiting,” said Graves. “They put their trust in you, and you didn’t disappoint them. Their friends and neighbors and relatives who aren’t in the cult are safely away, and you spent a ton of resources making toy golems to protect the ones who are braving the wilds. But the problem lies with the children. Oh not the really young ones, those all got evacuated, but some of the teenagers were old enough to be cultists, and they’re taking the angst a bit harder.”
“Figures,” Kayin said.
“Yes. I’m pretty sure a lot of them had body issues to start with, and this isn’t helping. It’s not so bad, not yet, but given time, it could cause major rifts. Which is rough, because when they’re having a bad time of it, it’s harder for the adults.”
“How long do they think they have?” Threadbare asked, concerned. Of COURSE the children were the first priority!
“I talked with the parents privately. Maybe a few weeks. Maybe a month if we’re really lucky, and I start animating spare toys and letting them take them out for a spin, work out some of their issues with temporary animi. Even so we’re still probably going to lose a few to madness.”
Cecelia rubbed her hair. “A couple of days to Pads. About a week or more up the main roads to Fort Bronze. Then a day or two out to an observation post. It leaves us two weeks, at the most.”
“Then let’s take one,” Threadbare said. “One to sort out what we need and grind as best we can.” He looked to Garon. “Do you think you can do it?”
“Yeah. Give me command of the training group, and it should skill up the ruler skills nicely.” The little minotaur nodded to Zuula. “She scoped out ruins of Grubholm while Graves was busy. Goblin sign all over.”
“Goblins?” Kayin said, straightening up. “Didn’t think there were many left in the kingdom.”
“Not in de settled places,” Zuula said. “But in de empty spaces, still lots of dem. Dey stay out of sight, live in ruins. Everyt’ing eat dem. Dey find a place to nest, den breed, den expand out until people or stronger monsters come an’ kill dem.” Zuula grinned. “Stronger monsters like us.”
“Are you sure we should be doing this?” Fluffbear squeaked. “Just going in and killing them for the experience?”
“We’d be doing the kingdom a favor,” Graves said. “Goblins have about sixty-three different recipes for cooking human babies.”
“What?” Fluffbear shouted, then jumped up. “Where’d I put my whip!”
“Patience,” Zuula consoled. “Goblins be darkspawn. We go in day when we go. Kind of surprised they haven’t come to see our fire tonight. But we behind a ridge, and dey lazy, so maybe dat it.”
“So you need to be a Ruler.” Threadbare pointed a paw at Garon. “Does anyone else need a montage? I can do two per day.” That was roughly correct. Each one took about ten to twelve hours.
“Yeah, we’re about to do a covert mission, right?” Kayin spoke up. “I’ve been thinking that over. We need more scouts in the group. I’ll take one of them.”
“I can teach ya while Threadbeah’s montaging Gar.” Madeline offered.
Threadbare twisted to look at her, in surprise. “You learned scout?”
“Hey, I had a long and exciting unlife befoah I met you guys, just didn’t have no jahb slahts to use all the stuff I unlocked. So I had two more open when I got my soulstone upgraded, then re-embodied. I figahed, why wait? Yer looking at not only a faiah elementalist, but a scout and a merchant!”
“You didn’t tell us you were taking that stuff,” Garon said.
“I don’t have to. That’s mostly my business.” Madeline looked at him, glass eyes glittering in the firelight. “I like you guys, but ya not the boss of me.”
“Right, right, I didn’t mean anything by it... wait, merchant?”
“Yeah! Check this out!” Madeline headed off into the ruins of the house and returned with a backpack, dragging it along with her mouth.
“I wondered why you asked me to sew that,” Threadbare said. “Does it have some significance to merchants?”
“Watch!” Madeline grinned, stuck her head in the pack, and pulled out a sack of coins, the ones that the villagers had given them to hang on to. Then a set of golden candlesticks from Hatecraft’s ritual room. Then several stuffed toys. Then one of the wooden cats they’d originally used to pull the wagon.
“There’s no way all that fit in there,” Cecelia said. “May I?”
“Shuah!”
Cecelia went over to the pack, stared into it. Then stuck her head in, and abruptly she was gone.
“Celia!” Threadbare charged up to the pack, and Madeline hastily put a wing in his way. “It’s fine, watch.” She reached her head in again, and the wooden dragon drew Cecelia out, Madeline’s maw holding one ceramic hand and drawing her forth.
“That was weird,” Cecelia said. “It’s like a room with black walls and floor, but there’s light coming from somewhere. And there’s random junk on the floor. It’s not that big, maybe closet-sized?”
“Yeah. Skill says it gets biggah as I level it. Should be safe to be in theah so long as the spell doesn’t expaiah.”
“What happens then?” Kayin said, tail twitching. “Because I’m seeing some possibilities for infiltrating the fort like this.”
“If it expaiahs whatever’s inside explodes outward and the pack’s ruined. Lasts like an howah per merchant level thoah. Not too bad to cast, either, just some sanity.”
“Why Merchant? Why Scout for that matter?” Garon asked. “I’m not seeing a combo for fire elementalist or dragon in there.”
“Nice broad range of attribute boosts. Int and Wis between ’em foah boosting sanity.” Madeline shrugged. “And it turned out we didn’t need jewelah and with no thumbs I’m crap at crafting anyway, but I figga handling gold and hoarding it will help me level dragon. Besides, with Scout, I can fly recon and message back to you and be invisible when I need to. Invisible dragon? Pssh, that’s a no brainah.”
“With three scouts in the party that’ll let us split up if we have to,” Cecelia said. “Does anyone else have any job slots to fill out?”
“If you want to try the Evict Spirit soulstone upgrade combo we discussed, I could maybe give you more jobs,” Graves said to Glub.
“Dude, I dunnno. Bard’s pretty sweet by itself.” The little fishmen thought it over. “Besides I’ve only got like a few unlocks.”
“Well, what are they?”
“Cultist, Explorer, and Water Elementalist.”
“I’m going to say please don’t be a cultist,” Threadbare decided.
“Yeah, that’s really not my thing. My old one’s cool and all, but I’m not about to worship the dude. Wouldn’t feel right.”
“Explorer’s kind of weak,” Garon said. “That’s what I always heard about it, anyway.”
“I don’t know about that,” Cecelia said. “Explorers from outside made the greater waymarks when they passed through and left us the waystones so we could use them. That’s what’s let the Crown maintain the front, by teleporting the Hand and other important people and supplies from Waystone to Waystone one person and packload at a time. If we had more of them, or the cooldown wasn’t so bad... if my father had more of them, then the war would be over by now.”
“How high level is that?” Garon asked. “That’s got to be like a twenty, twenty-five. I don’t know if he can grind it high enough to be useful in time.”
“Yeah, but theah’s gonna be
a time AFTAH, raht?” Said Madeline. “If he wants it, then let him take it. And watah elementalist would be totally bitchin’ ta have around. Be like synergy with my faiah and all.”
“It’d also give you water resistance so your parts don’t degrade underwater,” said Kayin. “Otherwise your leather bits will need a lot of mending or replacing eventually.”
“Oh? Oh yeah, that’d be a hassle,” Glub nodded. “Sure dude man, let’s try that spirit shuffle trick while they montage.”
“Absolutely,” Grave said. “It’ll be worth it to skill that up, if nothing else.”
“Then yeah, I’ll do that. After all, I’ll have a job slot left, right? So I might as well go all in here. Uh, except for Cultist.”
“Thank you,” Threadbare said.
“How about you, Mom? It’d probably take a spirit eviction, and you’d lose a few levels, but it’d open up more jobs.”
“No,” Zuula said. “Best you can do is five, right Graveman?”
“Graves. And yes, that’s the best I can do right now with the skill I’ve got.”
“Then no. Zuula just got level ten. Not worth it to go back to being weak. Not wit’out bitchin new body.” She glanced over to Threadbare. “Still got the picture she drew you?”
Threadbare took it out, and showed it to the group. Silence fell around the fire, as Graves struggled not to laugh, Kayin hid her face, and Cecelia looked away, coughing desperately.
“Are those battleaxes for hands?” Garon asked.
“And is that faia yoah breathing?” Madeline said, grinning wide.
“No. Dose be lighting bolts. De fire be coming from Zuula’s ass.” The little plush half-orc pointed with her spear.
Graves lost it then, waving his hands as he headed into the barn “All right, all right, it’s late. Good, heh, goodnight. Talk to me in the morning if you need something.”
“It’s the heaps of skulls that you’re crushing that have me confused,” Missus Fluffbear said, leaning in closer. “Are those things we have to make for you?”
“What? No. Zuula provide her own skulls.” She considered. “Maybe you make a few clay ones just to start. Starter skulls. So her enemies know what is in store.”
Threadbare Volume 3 Page 3