“A d-drink would b-be n-nice,” Dema stammers out. I glance over to her again and see her hands are shaking, a sure sign she’s seriously fucked after tonight. I am too, but I’ll hold my shit together until I know she’s okay.
I pull off on a side street and park in front of a random bar, waiting a couple more minutes for Dema to calm down. As she does, she’s wiping the long, black sleeves of her shirt against her cheeks, taking away the mascara with it. It’s smeared in some parts, but that shit doesn’t matter to me. I still think she’s the most fuckin’ gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen, and even with blotchy skin, tear stained cheeks, and smeared mascara . . . it doesn’t change a damn thing.
Dema’s the first one to exit the car and I follow her lead, letting her walk into the bar and grab a booth in the back. There’s no one around us and I’m thankful for that. I make sure to give her a few minutes alone, letting her sit in the booth while I order some vodka for us, sure to keep my eyes on her the entire time in case she decides to get flighty. The last thing I want her to do is run out of here when we have serious shit to discuss.
Making my way back over to the booth, I slide in across from her and slide her a drink. She looks down. “Is this a d-double?”
I nod and she downs the entire thing, while I slowly sip on mine. I figured she’d need the liquid courage, and now that she has it, I speak from my cold, dead heart. “If there was another way to get you out of that, I would’ve done it. I don’t—fuck. I don’t want you to think I raped you or some shit. I keep thinkin’ I did in the back of my mind, but you agreed to it, right? Fuck, Dema, god dammit. I’m obviously not thinkin’ clearly right now . . .” I trail off and down the vodka in front of me, needing my own liquid courage to say what I’m about to. “I’ve had the fuckin’ hots for you for a year or so now. I don’t want tonight to fuck up any real chance I had with you, if I even had one in the first place.”
She pulls her head back and blinks at me blankly. “There wasn’t another way, and I did agree to it, and I . . . I’m glad it was you I was with in that situation, and not someone else. I . . . I don’t know if I c-could’ve gone through w-with it if it was s-someone else.” Dema begins to hiccup at the end and tears start streaming down her cheeks.
God dammit. All I want to do is reach across the table and hold her close, but I’ve been closer to her tonight than I ever have and I don’t wanna push my luck. So, I’ll sit here, and I’ll sit here until she tells me otherwise.
Chapter Seven
Dema
I stare at Kronid as I allow his words to sink in. It’s obvious to me Kronid’s regretting what he did, viewing it as rape. But I agreed to it. I didn’t want to die, and if I had to lose my virginity, I’ve wanted it to be him since the first day I met him.
God knows I wish it had come about another way. Who’s to say I could’ve avoided the whole scenario by not going to the storage closet? I went there for the ink that nearly cost me my life. Ink I dropped to the floor when I saw the horrible situation unfolding before me.
No if this is anyone’s fault it’s mine. I could’ve prevented us being in this predicament if I’d simply waited to restock everything like I should’ve. I either wait for Kronid, or Meghan. I wasn’t supposed to go down there.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur, needing him to know.
“Why are you sorry?” Kronid asks, sitting up straighter in his seat. His eyes bear down at mine, furrowing his brows like he doesn’t understand why I said it in the first place.
“If . . . I well . . . if I’d stayed upstairs you wouldn’t think what we did was what it was. I . . . mean . . . dammit . . . how do I say this?”
“Take your time and speak what’s on your mind,” he says tenderly.
“Okay, so you said you feel like you raped me, though I gave you permission. And as I said, I couldn’t have gone through it if it were anyone other than you. Please don’t continue to think of it as anything other than what it is. I know you told me to close my eyes and envision the ocean, but I couldn’t. Not when it was you holding me in a way that helped conceal my body from that dreadful man. It’s you I’ve dreamt about doing exactly what you did, although in entirely different circumstances. I’d like to try and ignore the fact I had an audience, especially considering it was my virginity being taken. I’d like to remember it was you who did it. Would I have preferred it another way? Most definitely. Am I humiliated to have been watched? Hell yes, I am. I understand why you did it, and you saved me from being killed in the process. Now can we move on?” I blather out.
I swear the shot Kronid handed to me is getting to me. I downed it without haste and in doing so made it where I have no filter. It’s the only way I would ever be able to speak so much to Kronid. Let alone tell him what I wanted openly, without fear of being let down. I’m not a talker and the fact I’ve now told him I’ve dreamt of him taking my virginity makes me want to crawl into a hole and die. God, why did I have to choose this moment to be an over sharer?
“I’m thinking you’ve had one hell of a night and I should get you home,” Kronid says after a long pause. He’s been staring at me and his eyes burn with several emotions filtering through before he rights himself and switches back to his cold glare. The expression I know so well.
But that stare doesn’t strike fear within me anymore. Not after I’ve heard the tenderness in his voice. It doesn’t mean I’d do anything to cross Kronid. I can tell he’s the type of man to easily snap a neck in a heartbeat if he felt the need to.
I nod as he stands and offers me his hand. Hesitantly, I place my hand in his and stand to my own feet with a slight wobble. While I might be able to down a shot of liquor, it doesn’t mean I’m not a lightweight. I guess I never had the chance to build up my high tolerance as I’ve seen many people do. Then again, they’re the type who never had as many responsibilities as I have.
Kronid walks me to his car and opens the door for me to get in. Once my feet clear the door, he closes me into the confining space. I follow him with my eyes as he walks around the car and climbs in on his side.
An uncomfortable silence fills the air between us as he starts the car and puts it in gear. Neither of us speak another word as he drives to my home. I would question how he knows where I live but then again, he’s my boss. Plus, after what I saw tonight, I don’t doubt him knowing everything about all of his employees.
As he pulls up in front of the home I share with my grandparents, I let out a sigh hoping he’ll say something else. Anything else but he doesn’t.
“I’ll see you later,” I say dumbly as I climb out. Again, he doesn’t say anything, but he does nod in response to this.
Climbing out of my seat, I head for the front door and go inside without looking back. If I did, I’d probably lose it and begin to cry again. Maybe it’s because of my fantasies about this man. I’d hoped he might have wanted me with him, to comfort me in some way after everything we’ve gone through tonight.
He might have said what he did about wanting me and thinking he didn’t have a chance with me, but did he mean it? There’s no way he could’ve. I’m not a beautiful woman like the others who I work with. Meghan for example would be perfect for him. She’s a true beauty and her brightness makes her that much more beautiful with her magenta hair and colorful tattoos cascading up and down her body.
Checking the time, I know my grandparents are asleep. I head up to my room and take a very long shower. Washing my skin, scrubbing my body, I allow my tears to fall once again as the spray of the water will wash them away.
I stay under the warmth of the water until it starts to grow cold. Only then do I shut the water off, grab a towel, and climb out. In my room, I dress in a pair of leggings and a hoodie, forgoing anything underneath.
There’s no way I’ll get to sleep tonight. Not with the way my mind’s reeling playing everything repeatedly.
I leave my room and go to the one next to mine. The one my grandparents allow me to use for creating my beautiful mas
terpieces. Tonight, I’ll be doing something. It won’t be something beautiful yet it’ll be so very much emotional. I’ll paint my emotions into a piece I’ll never share with anyone. It’ll be for my eyes only.
Chapter Eight
Kronid
I sip on my cappuccino in my office, throwing in a double shot after last night’s events. I’ve already eaten my morning pastry, but my cappuccinos are my morning staple. Without them, I’d be a horror to speak to. Setting my cup down, I crane my neck to the right and the left until it makes a popping sound, then turn on my laptop and look through things. Since our work here is a mixture of legal and illegal, we have an impenetrable security system on our laptops. Designed by one of our own, who’s an incredible hacker. It goes to show you how it pays to have brains and muscle on the payroll. As long as they’re making good money, they’re usually happy.
It’s about ten in the morning and I rise from my seat, walk out of my office, and make the rounds through the shop. I see Meghan, Annika, Nina, Kira, Adrian, and Igor at their stations. That shitty receptionist we need to fire is even behind the desk, but the one person I don’t see is Dema. We have one more chair open at the shop, but I haven’t conducted any interviews as of late. We’ve been too busy, but soon I’ll task Meghan with helping me find someone experienced enough to create the level we expect from our employees.
“Oh, hey there, boss man. So, Dema called out. Said something but I can’t really remember what,” the girl says, chewing obnoxiously on gum.
I blink once at the girl and my words come out strong and heated, “You’re fired. Get the fuck out of here and don’t come back. Your paycheck will be ready for you on Friday.”
The front door opens and in comes Katya, with her husband Slasher. She’s wearing a faux fur around her, demanding everyone’s attention just by her outfit and exuding power. Her husband on the other hand is in a pleated coat and gloves, always looks rough as fuck. Katya’s one of the queenpins of the underworld, while her husband, Slasher, is her king I suppose. He’s in a biker club and because of that they have their hands dipped in multiple pots.
“Firing someone before coffee? How brave,” Katya chuckles, walking past me. Surely, she’s heading to my office since we have a meeting this morning.
“I’ve had my cappuccino,” I call over to her, catching her smirk as she turns into my office, while Slasher’s expression remains unimpressed.
“You can’t be serious right now!” Pins and Needles now ex-receptionist whines.
“Why wouldn’t I be serious? I’ve heard many times how you run off on break without even telling any of the artists. Now you don’t tell me when one of our artists calls out? Get the fuck out of here and I’d better not see you step foot in here ever again unless it’s to get your damn paycheck!” I snarl, slamming my hand on the counter I walk away and head toward my office.
Meghan looks up at me from her chair, while her client’s on his stomach and she’s working on a back piece. She mouths, ‘thank you’ to me and I give her a curt nod.
I quickly get into my office since Katya is waiting on me. She’s sitting down on the worn, rusty orange leather couch against the back wall. I have a few blankets on it, and an old chest sits in front of it acting as a coffee table. Slasher stands, leaning against the wall as he always does and I shut the door to my office. Choosing to stand opposed to sitting, I clear my throat and speak, “Sorry you had to witness that.”
“Don’t be. I need some childish entertainment in the morning,” Katya states.
“Pippa’s fit wasn’t enough for you this morning?” Slasher scoffs.
I draw my brows together and look between the two. “Pippa wants a tattoo, badly, I might add. She’s trying to convince me to let Dema do it, since I have a soft spot for the girl. Now, where is she? I didn’t see her out there.”
“She called out this morning, not sure why, but I’ll touch base with her later and make sure she’s alright,” I tell Katya, seeing her nod and begin to speak, but a knock comes to my door and everyone’s attention turns to it.
“What?!” I snap toward the doorway.
“Boss, it’s me,” Michail responds.
“Is this important?” I ask him, trying not to seem too annoyed. He knows I have a meeting with Katya this morning.
“Rytas is downstairs, so I’d say yes, it’s important,” Michail tells me, sounding like he’s worried about how I’ll react.
“Rytas? Didn’t he pick up his shipment yesterday? Don’t tell me he’s late again,” Katya grumbles, glaring in my direction.
Immediately, I ease her frustration. “No, he came yesterday and he was early. I’m not sure why he’s here today, but I’ll go downstairs and see what’s the matter.”
“Allow me to come with you. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to tear into Rytas. I’ve missed the opportunity to watch a man like him kneel at my feet.” I don’t blame Katya in the least bit for saying shit like this. She went from being a slave, to the wife of one of the world’s most feared arms dealers, then obtained his business when he was put down like a dog many years ago.
I go to open my door and follow Michail, with Katya close on our heels. We all go downstairs and Rytas is with one of our other men. Thank fuck, if he were here alone, I might lose my shit.
“Rytas, to what do I owe the pleasure?” I speak loudly, taking control over the room.
“I—” Rytas smiles widely at seeing Katya in the flesh. She’s not often here, so this must be a treat for him. “Well, well, Katya. I had not realized you would be here today. What a pleasant surprise this is.”
“What a pleasant surprise indeed. I heard you were here early yesterday. Good, but don’t think you can go back to being late. Inconveniencing me, or my men is something that won’t be tolerated.” Katya makes her power evident in her voice, glaring at the man who brings in billions. She will have no problem casting him aside and finding someone who wants his position. She’s that type of woman, the one who will cut someone off at the knees.
“Understood. Kronid, where is your lovely woman? Is she not here?” Rytas goes from speaking to Katya, to me.
My stomach clenches with rage at the audacity he has, speaking about her after what he made us do last night. Fuck, I should’ve shot him between the eyes . . . but he could’ve killed her before I even had the chance.
“Woman, what woman?” Katya snaps in my direction, her accent coming through thick as ever. Since living in America for many years it’s mainly muted, but every now and again it comes through like this, usually when she’s angry.
“His woman, of course.” Rytas chuckles, darting his eyes between Katya and myself.
“He’s speaking about Dema. We’ve been seeing one another for a while,” I say to her, telling the first lie I ever have to this woman. I was warned to never tell a lie to Katya, but here I am, unable to turn back now I continue on. “She witnessed something she shouldn’t have last night after I asked her to stock the stations upstairs. Rytas here was going to kill her, and so he required proof we were together.”
“Imagine my surprise when I saw the blood dripping down her leg. He was with a woman and yet never fucked her. Oh, how men like this one do not exist where I am from!” Rytas laughs loudly and Katya immediately shifts her eyes over to him.
“Unlike you and your country we have good men here. Men who wait for when their woman is ready.”
“She was waiting until marriage,” I say, digging myself deeper in the hole.
“What a good woman she is. She’ll make a good wife for you. But where is her ring? I haven’t seen a ring on her finger,” Katya’s quick to respond, smiling and her accent thick. She’s like any other woman, excited to hear news of relationships, and all of that.
“I haven’t proposed yet, Katya. I’m trying to find the right ring for her, but so far nothing’s come up.” Fuck, I’m digging myself in deeper and deeper.
With a wave of her hand, she smiles brighter and I spot Slasher grin an
d put his hand over his face to hide his smile. “Oh don’t worry about it. I have a friend who’s a jeweler. I’ll help you find the perfect ring for Dema. A girl like her deserves all her dreams to come true. Slasher, call Miroslav. Tell him we need a meeting sometime later this month when I’m back in Russia, okay?”
“Yes, dear,” Slasher chuckles, pulling his phone out he walks to the farthest side of the room and goes to make the call.
“She will say nothing because she is family, so, why did you have him fuck her in front of you? That is what happened, yes?” Katya’s accent comes out thicker and she speaks like many Russian women do when they’re speaking English.
“Yes, but you must realize I did not know if it was a lie.” Rytas makes a pitiful excuse.
“Kronid told you he was with her and yet you what, assumed he was lying about such a thing?”
“He had a gun to her head too,” I add in, crossing my arms over my chest.
“You did what?!” Katya screams, charging up to Rytas she pulls out her gun, points it to his foot and fires. “Why the fuck would you do such a thing, you slimy idiot?! He told you she was with him, and yet you doubt one of my men. I could kill you right now, you easily replaceable scum. There are many men who want to be in your position, working with the best of the best. Get out of my sight,” Katya hisses, glaring down at the man who’s now holding onto his bloody foot.
“Michail, ensure our dear friend leaves.”
“Wait! I have business to discuss,” Rytas speaks up, while Katya heads toward the door that leads to the stairwell.
She stops in the doorframe and looks back. “Then you can discuss it with Michail, Kronid follow me. I need you to do something.”
I do as Katya says and follow her as well as her husband up to the level the tattoo parlor is on. “What do you need from me?” I ask, and Slasher laughs at my question.
Blood & Agony: A Dark Criminal Romance (Pins and Needles: Moscow Book 1) Page 4