by M. S. Parker
I wasn’t going to say anything. I didn’t think.
Was I?
I didn’t even know, I realized.
But now that I’d seen her…
I came to a halt in the door as I caught sight of Florence and Maya being assisted into their wraps by two tuxedoed waitstaff. For a very brief second, I locked eyes with Maya.
So did Florence.
I took a step toward them.
Florence placed her body protectively in front of Maya’s.
I thought how many times Florence had been there, how bad things had been, and how she’d tried to pull me through. Now, seeing her support of Maya was a punch in the gut.
Maya had her face averted, as if she couldn’t stand the look of me.
Curling my lip, I turned back to Kimberly. I hooked a hand around her neck and hauled her in close. “You about ready to get out of here?” I asked against her lips.
“Oh…” She was all smiles now. “Absolutely.”
By the time we collected her wrap, Maya and Florence were being helped into their car.
Neither one of them looked back at us.
But I knew damn well they were both very much aware.
Yeah…so what?
17
Maya
The limo ride back to Florence’s house seemed to take forever.
Twisting my fingers in my lap, I thought through every option I could conceive—and some I never would have considered if my mind had been functioning even close to normal.
Glenn was well and truly done with me.
I didn’t need anybody to break down the way he’d looked at me, or to tell me who the beautiful redhead at his side had been. He’d moved on. But not peacefully. He still had a raging hate on for me, and that meant there wasn’t going to be any kind of peace between us.
That translated to there being no peace between Glenn and Florence, not while I was there.
If I couldn’t find a way back to my own time, I at least needed to leave Florence’s house so Florence didn’t get drawn into the mess. Staying with her and Astor would just put them in a bad place.
“You’re very quiet,” Florence said from her seat on the other side of the limo.
“I’m thinking,” I said, voice rough.
Thinking, regretting, wishing. There should be a word that described all three. Threwishing, maybe. Yes, I was threwishing. I laughed a little, but even that sound was broken.
“Your thinking sounds an awful lot like crying. But I guess seeing him was pretty hard on you.”
“Yeah.” I twisted the folds of the pretty green dress she’d loaned me between my fingers. “I’m just trying to figure out what I should do, what my next step should be. It’s not like I can hang out in one of your guest bedrooms forever, right?”
“You can stay with us as long as you need, Maya!” She leaned forward and took my hand, watching me earnestly.
My eyes watered, the tears creeping ever closer.
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
Shaking my head, I tugged my hand free and leaned back against the padded cushion, staring outside. I couldn’t possibly explain everything that was wrong, just as I couldn’t explain my urgency to figure out a plan.
A small, quiet voice in the back of my head said, You know what you need to do. Get back to your own time. You can’t do this on your own. Not here, not in this time.
I was tempted to agree. But the man I loved wouldn’t be there, and some part of me wanted to think that I could still make things work with Glenn.
The drive seemed endless as I turned it all over in my head but finally, we reached the house and I climbed out without waiting for the chauffeur. Kicking off my heels, I started for the house at a quick pace, desperate to be alone.
“Maya!”
I didn’t wait, though. I rushed for the front door and like magic, it opened.
It was Harrison, of course, not magic, and the concern in his voice only made it harder to hold everything inside. Stumbling into the salon, I sank into a chair and pulled my knees up to my chest, not caring about the delicate fabric of the skirt. I felt like I was going to break open with all the misery and confusion inside me.
“Maya.”
Florence touched my shoulder and the dam inside broke free. All the fear, doubt, and misery spilled out in heavy, hard sobs.
What was I going to do?
How was I going to handle this?
I was pregnant and alone in 1965. Glenn didn’t want to talk to me. Didn’t want to be seen with me.
“Sweetheart.” Florence sank down on the arm of the chair and tugged me close. “You’re going to make yourself sick.”
She stroked her hand up, then down my hair, rocking me and murmuring to me as I emptied out all the misery, all the fear, all the doubt.
There was so much of it. So very much, and I didn’t know if it would ever come to an end.
But it did.
“Here.” Florence pushed a handkerchief into my hand.
They were a thing of the past in my time. Now they were just a commonality, a courtesy that people carried in their pockets or purses. I wiped my eyes, blew my nose, then folded it up, staring at it as I held it in my lap.
“Why do I get the feeling there’s something bigger going on than what you’ve told me?” Florence asked.
I shot her a look. “What…isn’t the fight with Glenn enough?”
“Maya.” She laughed, a wry, honest sound. Then she rose and moved over to the window to stare outside. “You are one of the strongest, most steady people I know. Aside from these…fugues…and honestly, I’m not sure what to make of them. You show so much clear-headedness. You saved my life. You were there for me when nobody else was. Even when I knew you were in love with Glenn, you were there for me.”
Startled, I looked up at her.
She gave me a sad smile. “Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out? I did. And don’t worry…I’m not angry. He was right, you see. He wasn’t the man for me. I found the man who was meant to be mine. But it had to hurt, you seeing me push myself at him.”
“I don’t think he’s meant to be mine either,” I said softly.
“I’m not so sure about that.” She came back to me, her heels soundless on the plush carpet. She sank to her knees, the lush, silken skirt billowing out around her. “He wouldn’t have been so miserable without you if you two didn’t matter to each other. And you wouldn’t hurt so much now if you two didn’t matter to each other. There’s something there. You can’t tell me otherwise. Now…” She brushed my hair back. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“I…” I can’t. The words stuck in my throat. I was so tired of holding all of this inside. But nobody would believe me.
“I’m pregnant.”
The words hung between us. Florence blinked, looked confused. “You…I…what?”
“I’m pregnant. And…” Don’t, Maya. Don’t say it. Don’t… “The baby is Glenn’s, Florence. I lied about the kidnapping. That wasn’t what happened. I…you’re going to think I’m crazy for real, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m not…”
I stopped and pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes as I tried to gather my thoughts. I shouldn’t do this.
Finally, I took a deep breath and lowered my hands to meet Florence’s confused gaze.
“I don’t even belong here, Florence. Technically, I’m not even alive. I’ll be born in Philadelphia, decades from now.” I told her my date of birth, gave her the names of my parents. “My dad is just a baby. If you looked them up, you could call his parents. I can tell you his full name, their full names, his date of birth and what hospital he was born in. In just another week or so, President Johnson will sign the Voting Rights Act in law. In a couple of years, the Lovings will fight it out in the Supreme Court and they’ll win—interracial marriage will no longer be illegal in any state. In 1968, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr is going to be assassinated. The marches in Selma changed everything, Florence, and I know just how much
those marches changed, because in my time, all of this—even the things that haven’t happened yet—they are history.”
She sank back onto her heels, gaping at me. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I’m from the future.” I had to swallow and clear my throat before I could continue. “That’s how I knew you were going to kill yourself that day. In my time, you actually succeeded. I thought the reason I came back was to stop you, so that’s what I did. I thought I’d do it and I’d just…poof. Go back. I didn’t know that Glenn and I would fall in love and…”
“You…” She reached up to touch her necklace. “That’s how you ended up in my room. You knew.”
“Yes.”
“And that’s how you’re so certain about things…why you’re always telling me and Astor that things will get better. This…this voting rights act. It’s going to become law?”
“Yes. It’s going to take time, but things do get better. Of course, nothing is ever perfect, not even fifty years from now. But things do start to change.” I bit my lip, wondered how much more I could say, then decided I might as well finish. “Florence…when I disappeared, I went back to my time. Where I belong…or at least where I came from. But in my time, I was just gone a few seconds and I was only there a few weeks. Years didn’t pass for me. Not like they did here.”
“I…” Florence got up and started to pace. “Give me a minute. I need to think.”
Well, at least she wasn’t automatically telling me I was crazy.
The taut moments passed in silence.
But finally, she looked back at me and nodded. “Logic is telling me that you are crazy, that I should bring Astor in here, have you talk to him so he can get you help.” She placed a hand over her heart. “But this…? I have to listen to my heart. You helped me. You gave me my life back, and that gave me Astor. So I’m going to believe you.”
Then she laughed weakly. “After all, in a week, we’ll see. If President Johnson signs that act into law, then I’ll know you to be telling the truth, right?”
I heaved out a sigh of relief.
“So…by all of your…” Florence gave me a bewildered look. “I don’t even know how to process what you’ve told me. How pregnant are you? And you’re positive it’s Glenn’s?”
“Yes.” I wasn’t going to lie and claim to be a virgin, but he was the only man who could have fathered the baby. It had been too long since my last lover, and even though I’d slept with Maverick, they’d done a pregnancy test at the hospital. They always do pregnancy tests.
“Well, then. I’m going to do what you did for me. I’ll be here for you. However you need me to be.”
18
Glenn
“Come inside.”
I’d escorted her to the door, which was habit, but now I wished I’d just stayed in the limo.
With her hand gripping my tie, Kimberly tugged me inside her lavishly decorated home. It looked more like it belonged on a movie set than anything else, meant to display. But that was everything in Kimberly’s life—including me.
We were barely behind the door when she turned around, her hand still gripping my tie. She pushed me back against the door, her eyes burning with lust.
“I’ve been thinking about getting you naked all night. You look so good when you get dressed up for me…and I know you hate it.” She gave me a coy smile as she started to loosen the tie.
She was right. I did hate it.
But I hadn’t exactly dressed up for her. It was to keep Pete from yanking my chain when he saw pictures of me in jeans the next day.
“Since you did all this for me…” She skipped her fingers along my chest and gave the tie a final tug, dropping it on the floor. “I’ll do something for you.”
The light in her eyes made it clear what she meant.
I had so little interest in it, it was pathetic.
But in some distant, disconnected part of my soul, I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea, necessarily, to spend the night here with Kimberly. She was a sexual athlete and she could exhaust me to the point that I would sleep. If I slept, I wouldn’t stay awake brooding about the fight with Cane, or the fight with Maya. I wouldn’t think about seeing Maya at the party and wondering why she’d been there. Granted, I’d seen her leave with Florence, so it wasn’t like I had to think about her being there with another man.
Kimberly raked her teeth down my neck. Out of reflex, I craned my head to the side and closed my eyes.
Another man.
Cane had taunted me about asking her out, but sooner or later, another man would ask her out.
Sooner or later, Maya would say yes.
“That’s it…get rough with me, baby,” Kimberly said against my neck. “Hurt me a little. I love it.”
Her voice jerked me out of my head and I stiffened my arms, forcing distance between us.
Unconsciously, I’d been gripping her hips and I forced my fingers to loosen. She’d have bruises. “Sorry,” I said gruffly.
“Sure you are, honey.” Laughter glowed in her eyes as she rose up onto her toes to wrap her arms around my neck. “What else do you want to be sorry for?”
She bit my lip hard enough to make real pain flare.
Shoving my hand into her hair, I wrenched her head back. “Hey, cut it out.”
“Why?” She poked out her lip as she stared at me. “You can play rough, but I can’t?”
Before I could even respond, she rolled her eyes. “Fine. Do whatever you want to me, Glenn.” She rubbed her hands up my chest once more, leaning closer to cuddle into me. “Do whatever you want. I want it.”
Whatever I wanted consisted of peeling her off me, walking out that door, getting in the car and telling my driver to take me to Florence’s.
I shoved that idea out of my head and closed my eyes.
Kimberly pressed her lips to the corner of my mouth then started to work over to cover my earlobe with her teeth. Get focused, I told myself.
Focused…on what?
I could smell the smoke in her hair. One of the nails digging into my arm was uneven.
“Glenn…”
Her voice was full of heat and promise.
I couldn’t even find a spark of interest. Even as she moved her hand down the front of my shirt, freeing buttons as she went, I told myself to think about what she’d probably do next—I could picture her still in her dress and heels in front of me, on her knees, taking my cock in her mouth.
And I felt nothing.
No, it was worse than nothing.
I didn’t want her touching me.
I wanted to pull away and leave, so I could just go home—go home and do nothing but think about Maya.
Boy, you are in trouble. Just as I realized just how much trouble, Kimberly slid her hand up and down my crotch.
And her sweet, curvaceous body tensed.
I caught her wrist and dragged it away, mouth already open to tell her…something. Anything. I’m tired. I’ve got a headache. Not in the mood.
Of course, that last bit was something I would have called bullshit in my other life. When was I not in the mood?
But I knew the answer to that: right after seeing the woman I’d once loved with everything I had in me.
That right there could make it damn easy for me to be not in the mood.
“It’s late,” I said. The excuse sounded lame, even to me. “I’m worn out from all the shooting and the PR shit Pete’s thrown at me this past week.”
Kimberly twisted her wrist free and backed away. “Yes. I’m sure that’s exactly what the problem is. Of course, I’ve seen you work eighteen hours straight, then we’ve come here and fucked like rabbits. But now, you’re tired.” Her mocking falsetto grated on my nerves.
“Yeah.” I gave her a tight smile, refusing to rise to the bait. “Glad you understand.”
“Oh…of course. I totally understand.” She smoothed her hands down her dress, settling it back into place. “I’m certain it has nothing to do with that
stupid, insipid bitch we saw at the party!”
She was screaming by the time she finished.
Setting my jaw, I focused on the buttons of my shirt, redoing them as quickly as I could. I needed to get the hell out of here. Unlike me, Kimberly lived inside the city, and her elegant little bungalow had neighbors on both sides. She might not care if we attracted attention, but I was done with all of that.
“What, you don’t have anything to say?” She lifted her chin, her cheeks flushed, eyes so hot and angry, I wouldn’t have been surprised to find singe marks on me.
“There’s nothing to say, Kimberly. I’m tired. It’s been a long week.”
“Yes, I know. You’ve done nothing but mope and pout over that stupid fight with Cane. Then you see Maya…” She stopped and sucked in a breath. “Wait a minute. You never did tell me why you fought with him. Was it…you son of a bitch!”
She launched herself at me and I just barely caught her hand before she slapped me. “You bastard. You knew she was back, didn’t you?” She went to drive her knee into my balls and I jerked to the side, twisting to catch the blow on my thigh. “Didn’t you?!”
“Kimberly, damn it, calm down!”
Those words only made her madder. “Don’t you tell me to calm down, you bastard!”
I let her go and ducked away, twisting to put room between us. “Fine, stay pissed off. But do it alone. I’m not hanging around here for you to rant like this.”
“You…!” She shuddered, shaking with her rage. “You are a bastard. You paraded your ex-lover in front of me, and you act like I’ve got no reason to be angry.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Storming over to her, I shoved my face into hers. “For future reference, I didn’t parade any lover in front of you. I didn’t know Maya was going to be there. Yes, I knew she was back. Did I tell you? No. But didn’t you and I establish that what we had was just a mutually beneficial relationship? It’s a PR deal, and we have the added benefit of having a bed partner. And it was your idea to add in that last part, not mine. Emotions were never on the table.”