by Emma Easter
She shook her head. I refuse to think like that. But her mind would not give up the images of him dead, his body left bloating somewhere in the Arabian Desert. She stood, as she couldn’t take the agony anymore. She rushed into the bathroom, sank to her knees, and began to sob bitterly.
“Lord, where is my Faizan? What has happened to him?” She wept and wept and found no relief for her grief. After a while, she finally got tired of crying and decided to pray some more. She wiped her eyes, stood up, and went upstairs. She went to the patio where she had last spoken with Faizan before he left for his secret mission. Leaning on the balustrade, she stared at the lush courtyard below. Suddenly, she couldn’t stop herself from screaming. She yelled as loud as she could and then said, “Lord, why?”
She covered her eyes with her hand and then she opened her eyes again. Staring into the distance, she tried to pray, but all she did was mumble.
She narrowed her eyes as she began to hear loud noises and commotion coming from somewhere in the house. And then she nearly sank to the floor, her legs unable to carry her. She leaned on the balustrade and bit her lip. Audrey had probably got a phone call from Ken with bad news about Faizan. It was probably Audrey and Trisha weeping now.
I should go to them.
But she could not muster up the strength to go. She didn’t want to hear any bad news about Faizan. She would not be able to take it.
She suddenly cried out, “Faizan, where are you? Please come back!”
“I am here!”
Her eyes widened in shock. The voice she’d just heard . . . was that Faizan, or did she just imagine it because she so wanted to hear his voice, even if it was for one last time?
“Zainah, it’s me!”
Her heart skipped violently and then flooded with a mixture of fear and hope. She turned around slowly and then she gasped. Faizan was really standing before her. Her heart soared and every trace of sorrow she’d felt suddenly disappeared. She ran to him and fell into his arms. She began to weep loudly while he rubbed her back. He said, “I’m here, Zainah. There is no need to cry anymore, baby.”
She continued to weep, but out of relief, and joy, excitement, and ecstasy.
He held her tightly, letting her cry on his shoulder. After a few minutes, she drew back and looked into his eyes. She studied his face, the face which, just some minutes ago, she had feared she would never see again. She said, “Oh, Faizan, thank God you’re safe! I was afraid something terrible had happened to you.” She caressed his cheeks and then ran her fingers through his hair. She moved back even more and said again, “Thank God you came back!”
He grinned and said to her, “Of course I came back! I wouldn’t miss my own wedding.”
She laughed despite herself and said to him, “There’s nothing more I want now than to marry you.”
She hugged him again tightly, as though she were afraid that at any time he would disappear. After a while, she pulled back and kissed him on the cheeks.
“Did you continue with the wedding planning?” he asked her.
“How could I when all I was thinking about was your safety?”
“Well, I guess we have to continue planning it now. We are still getting married in a week’s time, aren’t we?”
She laughed. “Of course we are. Even if we have no food, drinks, guests, or a venue, I don’t care. All I need is you and the minister who will marry us.”
He smiled at her and then a torturous look crossed his face. He said, “I thought I would never see you again, Zainah.” He pulled her close, dug his hands into her hair, and kissed her. He pulled back slightly and said hoarsely, “I’ve missed you so much.”
She trembled and held him tightly as he kissed her again.
He began to pull back again, but she clung to him. This time, she would never let him go, no matter what. Just half an hour ago, when she thought she had lost him, she’d known she couldn’t go on living without him.
She kissed him with everything in her, letting him know that he was everything to her. Finally, when she was sated, she drew back slightly and laid her head on his chest. He kissed her forehead and then wrapped his arms around her.
She sighed in contentment. Since he’d left, she’d dreamt every day of this—being in his arms. She felt completely safe. She could stay like this forever, in the arms of this man she loved with all her heart, who she had feared was dead. She looked up at him and said, “I can’t wait to marry you, Faizan.”
He grinned. “I can’t wait to marry you either, Zainah.”
She trembled with excitement at the thought of becoming his wife and finally getting to live with him. Soon, they would begin their life together as man and wife. She could hardly wait.
Chapter Eight
Leila stood up from the floor where she slept beside Malik’s bed. She had been sleeping on the floor in Malik’s bedroom because she was uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping in his bed. Plus, she was used to sleeping on the floor from her many years of doing so in the women’s camp. She immediately went to brush her teeth. She quickly had her bath, changed into a long black and white dress, combed and braided her hair, and went into the small kitchen to fix herself some breakfast.
Since she’d come to Nira, she did the same thing every single day. She prepared carefully for the day as though it was the day Malik would finally come back. Today, as she stood at the kitchen counter making an omelet for herself from the food items Khadija had brought for her five days ago, she thought about the women’s camp and what Miriam would say when she discovered Leila was gone. Miriam would be exasperated. She’d had to come to her and Zainah’s rescue when they had come to Nira months ago. Miriam would be praying she had not gotten herself into another predicament. She finished making breakfast and carried it to the living room to eat.
After she had her breakfast, she walked around the house, looking at the simple furniture, imagining Malik living here with his daughter. Many times, she also imagined herself living in this house with Malik; married to him and both of them raising his daughter and the children they would have together. However, she knew that if and when by God’s grace they got married, they couldn’t live together in Nira. Everyone around, especially his family, would oppose their marriage. She was a Christian. That would not go down well with his family.
She’d been praying and believing that he would become a Christian soon, because she could not marry him if he wasn’t. Her heart twisted at the thought that he might never convert to Christianity so they could get married, but she immediately put aside that bleak thought. She focused on what she had always drawn hope from, and that was that Malik loved her enough to do anything for her, including converting to Christianity so they could be together forever.
She slightly drew back the curtain in the living room in order to peep out the window. She was always bored. Since there was nothing else to do, every day, after she had breakfast, she stood looking out the window at people passing by. That was her only entertainment. So far, she had managed to avoid being seen by anyone except for Khadija.
In the evenings, when it began to get dark outside, she lit one of the candles that Khadija had brought her the night she came to Nira, sat on the living room sofa, and thought about Malik and Zainah.
With all her heart, she longed to attend Zainah’s wedding, but she just couldn’t. It wasn’t only because she had no money to travel to America or any hope of getting a visa, but because she had to be here and be reunited with the love of her life. Zainah had given her a new number with which to call her and she yearned to, but she had no cellphone. She’d asked Khadija if she could use her cellphone, but Khadija had told her she didn’t have one. Apparently, her strict father forbade the use of cellphones by his teenage daughter, even though Khadija was at the cusp of womanhood.
Leila kept looking out the window, imagining the lives of the people passing by the house. A boy who looked about seventeen walked slowly and kept looking back. He smiled each time he did, and then quickly tur
ned again, only to look back a few seconds later.
Soon, a girl who looked about the same age also began to pass by, and also walking slowly. Leila smiled in pleasure. The girl was the reason why the boy kept turning and smiling. Each time he smiled at her, she shyly smiled back. The whole thing made Leila’s heart smile. It was the beginnings of young love, and she was a hopeless romantic. At the same time, she also felt a little sad as she watched them, wishing Malik was here with her.
Her eyes followed them as they walked farther and farther away from Malik’s house until they disappeared from sight. She sighed. They had provided great entertainment for her. Now she was left watching people hurrying past with anger or impatience etched on their faces and making up stories in her mind about them. A few were expressionless, so she had to guess what was on their minds, what they were up to, and where they were going.
Her eyes grew wide as Zainah’s father and another man began to walk towards Malik’s house. Her heart thudded as she realized they were actually coming to the house and would be on the front porch in no time. Panic engulfed her and she looked at the door. She felt tempted to check the doorknob just to make sure Khadija had remembered to lock it before she left the night before, but she knew it would be the wrong thing to do. Zainah’s father, Karim Keita, would know someone was in the house.
Leila closed the curtain when Karim Keita and the other man were almost at the front porch. Fear and anxiety flooded her heart, and for a second, she stood frozen, not knowing what to do. She began to move her feet once she heard the door being unlocked.
Lord, please help me, she prayed silently. She quickly ran into the bedroom, snatched up her nightgown from the bed, and went to hide in the closet. She stooped down, trembling, and prayed with all her heart that they would not find her. It was only after she finished praying that she realized she had left a bottle and her half-drunk glass of water on the table in the living room. That would definitely give away the fact that someone was in the house. There were also other traces of her presence in the living room and especially in the kitchen. There was no way Karim Keita would not know someone was here, living in his son’s house.
She began to hear loud voices and footsteps approaching the bedroom, and she squeezed her eyes shut, as though by doing that she could will the men to go away.
The bedroom door opened and her heart thudded as she heard Mr. Keita’s voice in the room, telling the other man that someone was in the house. Leila began to frantically pray, asking the Lord to keep the men away from the closet so she would not be found. She remembered with startling clarity what had happened the last time she and Zainah were in Nira. She shuddered. It had been dangerous for them then, with the forced marriage and the threat of death hanging over them if they refused to convert to Islam. What would Karim Keita do to her if he found her hiding in his son’s house? She continued to pray while her heart raced wildly. And then, she heard scrambling feet and realized Zainah’s father and the other man were searching the bedroom. She kept praying and then her muscles tensed when the closet door began to open.
She prayed fervently. Malik didn’t have many clothes to hide behind. She would definitely be seen.
And then she heard Khadija’s voice call out, “Papa, please come! I need to show you something now!”
“What is it, Khadija?” her father called out.
“Please, just come. I want to show you something in the house. It’s urgent!”
There was silence for a few seconds and then Karim shut the closet door. He said to the other man, “Let’s go. We will come back later.”
Leila heard the bedroom door close and continued praying earnestly until she heard the front door shut. She remained in the closet for about ten minutes more, just to make sure the men had really left the house, and then she climbed out of the closet. She trembled from fear and relief as slowly sat on the bed.
Lord, thank you!
When she felt finally ready to stand up again, she stood up slowly, took a deep breath, and left the bedroom. She went into the living room and found that it was just as she had left it. The glass of water and the bottle were still on the coffee table. The curtain was ever so slightly open.
Her heart began to race again as she realized she was not out of danger yet. Mr. Keita knew someone was living in his son’s house. He would come to investigate again soon. Any day now, she would be caught, and who knew what would happen to her then? She would definitely not get to see Malik if she was discovered. She couldn’t let that happen.
Now what? she thought.
She slowly sat on the sofa and began to ponder what she could do, but she came up with nothing except to leave the house. Which also meant she would have to leave Nira, as she had nowhere else to stay. She thought about staying in the hut where she had hidden before coming to Malik’s house, but it wasn’t a good idea. The hut had no door and it was near the market. She would easily be found there. She had only been able to stay there for a short time because it was nighttime. Plus, she would probably starve, as she knew Khadija would not be able to get her food all the way there without someone getting suspicious.
Her only option was to leave Nira.
She shook her head. There was no way she would leave Nira or even this house without seeing Malik first.
But at the same time, how could she stay here, knowing that any day now, she would be caught?
She jumped as the keyhole turned. Someone was unlocking the front door. Before she could scramble up from the sofa and out of the living room, the door opened and the person came into the house. Leila shot up the sofa and then relief unlike anything she had ever felt settled on her as she saw Khadija standing at the door, looking at her with concern on her face. Leila gave a huge sigh of relief and then settled back on her seat as Khadija locked the door again.
The urgency of the moment settled on Leila and she said to Khadija with her heart drumming, “Your father knows that someone is living in Malik’s house, doesn’t he?”
Khadija nodded. She came and sat beside Leila and said, “If I had not come just at the time I did, he probably would have seen you. I had to make up something in order to get him out of the house.”
“What did you say to him?” Leila asked curiously.
“I told him my toilet was blocked and the bathroom had flooded. I poured some water on the bathroom floor. He will soon discover that the toilet isn’t blocked and will come back here to investigate again.” Khadija took Leila’s hands. “You will have to leave now, Leila. If my father finds you here, and he will very soon, you know what kind of trouble you will be in.”
Leila shook her head. “No. I cannot leave, Khadija. I have to wait for Malik to return. I will not leave Nira without seeing him.”
Khadija looked into her eyes and said, “I don’t have to tell you what kind of trouble you will be in if my father finds you here. You already know what will happen.”
Khadija was right. The terror and hopelessness she had felt when she and Zainah were almost forced to marry people they didn’t know came rushing back to her. She knew she had to leave, but the thought of doing so without seeing Malik was too much for her to bear. Tears pooled in her eyes.
“I can’t leave, Khadija! I can’t!”
“Yes, you can,” Khadija said. “I love how much you care for my brother, but if you don’t leave now, you’ll never get to be with him or even see him again.”
Leila didn’t say anything for long moment. Conflicting emotions warred within her. She sighed resignedly at last. There was nothing else to do but leave. “I guess you’re right, Khadija,” she finally said. Tears fell down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away. “I will have to go and come back again.”
Khadija smiled sadly at her. “I wish Malik had been here when you came, but I know that you and my brother will be together somehow. Your love for each other is so strong that it will make a way for both of you.”
Leila smiled at her in appreciation. “Malik will be back in a week, wo
n’t he?”
“Yes,” Khadija said.
“I guess I’ll go back to my friend, Fatima’s. I’ll stay there for a week and then come back.”
Khadija nodded and said again, “You have to leave now, Leila. Anytime now, my father will come. You and I will be in trouble if he finds us here.”
Leila squeezed Khadija’s hand. “Thank you so much for all you’ve done for me, Khadija. I will never forget how kind you were to me throughout this week. God bless you.”
Khadija smiled.
Leila reached out and gathered her in a hug. And then she gasped as a loud knock sounded at the door.
“Open the door!” Karim Keita’s voice boomed.
Leila shuddered, and Khadija’s eyes widened in fear.
“Open the door right now, Khadija!” Mr. Keita roared again. “I know you stole the keys to Malik’s house from my room. Open this door right now!”
Leila’s heart raced as she looked at Khadija and whispered, “What are we going to do?”
Khadija shook her head. “You have to leave now,” she said quietly. “I will handle my father.”
Leila shook her head. “There is no way I will leave and let you take the blame for me. Your father is going to hurt you just like he hurt Malik. You told me he locked Malik up because he tried to help Zainah and me escape. There is no telling what he will do to you if he finds out you helped me hide here and have been bringing me food.”
Khadija whispered, “My father doesn’t know you’re here. He won’t know I helped you so I won’t be in too much trouble.”
“What if he insists you tell him who has been living here?” Leila asked.
“I’ll tell him I’m the one. He is hardly at home anyway.” She frowned as her father banged on the door and threatened to break it down if she didn’t open up for him. “You can climb out of Malik’s bedroom window. Once you do, turn left and you will find a small cleared path. It will lead you to the market. From there you can go to the bus station.”