Bouquet of Regret (Angel's Shifters Book 1)

by Lenai McGoveran

  Masculine arms wrapped around me to pull me into a gentle hug while I tried to pretend I didn’t feel a flutter in my chest. “Easy, bunny, I won’t be gone long. And I will explain more upon my return. For now, take it easy. Perhaps tomorrow you may sit in the sun for a bit, hmm? I know how much you adore the sunshine, and I do not intend to deny you its warmth,” Ryker murmured before kissing my forehead. I sighed when the storm within me calmed, but he was gone before I could think of any words to say in response. What surprised me, yet didn’t, was Liam left with the lord of the house, meaning Matty and I were somewhat left to our own devices.

  The rest of the day, Arctic stayed close, which I found to be a relief since the bond between us kept me from missing Ryker. That I would have missed him disturbed me. He must be working on replacing Marcus with himself. I noticed that I didn’t miss the werewolf anywhere near as much as I thought I would. But was that because I lacked time to miss him, or because Ryker was killing the bond between us? Either way, I suppose only time would tell.

  When it was time to rest, Arctic held me close to his chest, and I slept soundly despite having slept for two days already. Yeesh. How close to death was I? Did I miss seeing the Grim Reaper? I shall be disappointed if he was there, and I didn’t look around to spot him. Totally a missed opportunity, I bet he looked cool. When we woke, Arctic smiled and nuzzled closer while I held him as tight as I could. I didn’t understand what existed between us, nor did it upset me. Nor did I feel a need to explore it or figure it out. It was as comfortable as my favorite hoodie. Weird. Probably some kind of shifter mojo or something.

  After breakfast, we sat outside in the late afternoon sun, much to my delight. The manor was quiet since the vampires were asleep while the human staff had not yet risen to start their days either. I was dressed in an outfit similar to what Tyger and Arctic wore, which was fine by me. Tyger admitted that he, Snow, and Arctic were the only shifters in Ryker’s house with an odd smile. I did not like it because the way he watched me worried me. Was he trying to hint I was a shifter? Pfft. Yeah, right. How does one become a shifter, anyway? Isn’t it something you have to be born as? Great, now I have another mystery to solve. Along with why I hadn’t seen or heard from Jaxy since I ran into Liam. As soon as I had that thought, something gently tugged on a few strands of my hair, and I sighed upon discovering the shifters and Matty whispering several feet away. No doubt they discussed me, lame. “Hi Jaxy,” I murmured, and soft laughter echoed around me. Well, at least I was right that Jax was the one who pulled my hair, albeit he was gentle about it. “Not a fan of vampires?” I questioned dryly.

  “Ryk’s not terrible, not towards omegas, but the others are nasty,” he replied quietly. “And they’re not fond of ghosts.”

  “Lame,” I sighed, and he laughed again before ghostly arms wrapped around my waist from behind.

  “Be good, bunny, or you will not appreciate the consequences. Not because they are terrible, but because Ryk will have no choice. With your level of stubbornness, not having a say in the matter will rankle,” Jax sighed before his presence disappeared. Lovely. Some people have Lassie, and I get a werewolf ghost who enjoys puzzles and riddles. Ah, well, at least I can’t say my life is boring.

  Matty and I walked through the trees surrounding Ryker’s mansion to appreciate the beauty we sprinted past before. Not that we could see it in the dark. The leaves were turning, so in the coming weeks, the colors should be something to behold. Giggling, Matty suggested a game of tag, touching my arm and sprinting before I agreed. Laughing, I chased after my baby brother while elation danced in my veins until my soul was buoyant, and my heart raced with joy. After several tags, I tackled Matty, and we rolled in the few leaves that had already fallen. Our laughter echoed in the trees while we wrestled until I grinned, and Matty’s eyes widened with horror. He didn’t even squirm before I struck, tickling him, so his adorable belly laughs filled my ears.

  However, after a few more moments, Arctic stood beside me with a frown. “You are on the edge of overdoing it, Angel,” he warned with sad eyes. Matty sobered, as did I, and we sighed while staring at the fox shifter who radiated sorrow. “I wish you could continue to romp, as your laughter is the balm this place needs, but we cannot risk your health. Ryker is not here to save you if you go too far.”

  Still, it was fun while it lasted. I believe Arc feared we would be angry or disappointed. Hence, his eyes widened comically when Matty and I stood to hug him. Then, I took Matty’s offered hand, and we swung our arms with smiles and giggles while returning to the manor. When I glanced over my shoulder, Arctic looked shocked, albeit his expression softened into a radiant smile that took my breath away. For the rest of our day, Matty and I watched movies and shows on the large screen Ryker spoiled us with.

  Dinner was that delicious soup which warmed me to my soul, and I smiled gratefully at Arctic, who ate it too. Then it was time to rest, and Arc held me as tightly as the night before. Another night with no haunting dreams left me feeling almost human. I hadn’t noticed how weak or off I felt until I was nearly recovered. Odd, but not terribly surprising.

  Another day of lazing around with Matty lay before me, and I enjoyed it until I needed to relieve my bladder. Kissing the top of Matty’s head, I walked down the hall without looking at the paintings I knew were there. Each was gorgeous, and I hoped to one day make something as beautiful as the art that graced Ryker’s walls. Everything was fine until I was on my way back from the bathroom.

  A door that was previously closed fell open in the few minutes I was indisposed. Shaking my head, I ignored it in favor of not sticking my nose into any trouble like Ryker asked, and cautioned I must. However, a familiar name made me pause, and I trembled while fighting looking over my shoulder into the gap between the door and wall. Without realizing it, I looked, and my cheeks turned cold because of the blood abandoning my face. My breath left my lungs as a harsh gasp while I tried to force my gaze away, but I lacked the strength.

  Inside the room, with its mockingly cheerful light-yellow walls, Tammy sat in a chair with restraints. The chair itself looked like a torture device because of the straps and trays of painful-looking tools that hung from it. But what I could not look away from was what the vampire sitting next to Tammy did. Her wrist was on the broader metal arm of the chair, strapped in several places, with metal pins keeping it open. He had a tool on suction, he had to of, or else there’d be blood everywhere. Instead, I could see the inners of Tammy’s wrist, and the nerve he tormented with a spiky tool that made my skin crawl. “Does that hurt, Tammy?” He asked in a mock sympathetic voice, and I choked on the air my body tried to pull into my lungs.

  Arctic was suddenly there, slamming the door closed, but I still saw that scene in perfect detail in my mind. He pulled my numb body close to his warmth, and I stumbled because I couldn’t make my feet work. No, all I knew was what I saw. God, how Tammy screamed. The sound echoed in my ears incessantly while I could only see that tool fraying the sensitive nerve in her wrist.

  As soon as I understood what I saw, bile rose in my throat, and I stumbled. Thankfully, Arctic guessed what would happen once the shock wore off. He pressed on my shoulders a second later to encourage me to kneel in front of a toilet. I hurled everything I ate into it, followed by bile until I only dry heaved because there was nothing left in my stomach to expel. Still, tears continued to pour down my cheeks while I sobbed and tried to hurl something, anything, hoping it would take those images away.

  Eventually, Tyger stood beside us with a needle in his hand. Arctic, who held my hair and rubbed my back while I tried to expel that horror, nodded and offered my wrist to the wary shifter. I didn’t have a chance to protest or struggle, and the needle was underneath my skin while Tyger pushed its contents into my bloodstream. Then it was darkness, blessed darkness where no images plagued my mind.

  Sitting with a gasp, I shuddered while what the vampire did to Tammy filled my mind once more. Gagging, I ran for the bathroom, hurling as
soon as I made it to the toilet. Once I expelled the bile in my stomach, I sobbed while dry heaving. “Easy, Angel,” Arctic murmured, and I flinched, not having realized he knelt beside me. Now that I knew he was there, I became aware that he held my hair and rubbed my back. Not that anything could soothe the horror I saw. Speaking of, my body found something to bring up, and I sobbed afterward. “Angel, I need to do something, and you might not like it. But, first,” Arctic murmured, and through my tears, I saw a hazy shape that somewhat resembled a bottle of mouthwash.

  With another soft sob, I took the proffered bottle, using it to rinse my mouth. Afterward, I gagged again, but Arctic gently grabbed my chin, turning it so we faced each other. I blinked to dispel the tears gathered in my eyes so I could see Arc, who gave me a weak smile. Then, without warning, the fox shifter ducked his head to press our lips together. Immediately a thrum shot through my body from his lips to mine, jarring the memories plaguing me from my mind. Chuckling upon seeing my blank expression once he moved back, Arc ducked his head again, so our lips were a hairsbreadth apart.

  My entire world dwindled to the shifter, and he knew it judging by the smugness oozing from him. This time, he pressed our lips together achingly slow, and a soft whimper escaped my throat, prompting a chuckle from his. Oddly enough, this time, slow tingles danced across my lips, which caused a shiver to race along my spine. What the hell?

  “It’s an alpha thing,” Tyger sighed, and I flinched, pulling away from the smirking Arctic. “Because you are an omega, any alpha can be your mate. You may be the mate fate chose for the wolf, but any alpha that treats you right can supplicate to claim you. You will know they are a potential mate by the tingles.” Great. So, basically, I get to exist until some bossy male or female decides they want me, and that’s that. “That’s not what I said, Angel,” Tyger corrected with amusement. “Typically, yes, that’s how it is with alphas. They want something, they get it. But never with an omega. Because of your effect on others, how you project your misery, alphas cannot force you into becoming their mate. They can beg, plead, threaten even, but no one can force you to be their mate, Angel. It’s entirely up to you. If the idiot wasn’t such a selfish bastard, you would never have known you could choose another, nor would you have wanted to. So, the blame for this situation rests at the feet of that mutt.”

  With a soft purr, Arctic rubbed our noses together, and I flinched from the warm tingles that danced across my skin where we touched. So not Riff then. Disappointment weighed upon my heart, and Tyger chuckled. Immediately, I felt horrible for being so greedy. I mean, already I had three suitors barking up my tree, and it upset me there weren’t four? When did I become such a-

  “You finish that thought, little girl, and I will tickle you until you pee yourself. After which I will eat cookies in front of you,” Tyger growled with fury darkening his eyes. Gulping, I stared at the shifter warily, and he snorted. Softening after a moment, Tyger knelt beside me to tuck my bangs behind my ear. “It’s not that you’re greedy or a slut, Angel, it’s that he made you feel important and loved, so you hoped for him. Judging by what Liam reported and what I saw myself, Riff is a beta. If he desired to be your mate, he could establish himself as an alpha. All he has to do is defeat the mutt. However, I don’t believe that’s the relationship you share.” Tyger chose his words with care, and I swallowed nervously. “I think you are two peas in a pod. Close friends, but not lovers. I could be wrong, but only time will tell.”

  Nodding, I stared at the ground while biting my lip. My eyes filled with tears, and Tyger tutted. Pulling me into his embrace, he murmured, “were he only a boy and you an average girl, you would have been an adorable couple. I wish that were the case, I honestly do. But just because you love him doesn’t mean you do so romantically. It’s okay to love someone of the opposite gender without being in a relationship with them. Hell, it’s okay to love someone of the same gender too. You think Snow doesn’t love you? Poor feral mite. Even if you choose Ryker, you can still love Riff. And, despite how he grumbles about the scent of werewolves, Ryker won’t keep you from your friend. That’s how you destroy an omega, by denying them those they love. Arctic won’t care either and will be in your life no matter what. Albeit, you might find him the hardest to resist.”

  “Because of the bond between us?” I asked. Relief lightened my voice, and Tyger smiled while Arc purred once more. Glancing at the fox shifter, my cheeks heated, and he smirked again. “Why am I so drawn to him?”

  “That’s a discussion for another time,” Tyger chuckled while tapping my nose. “But it’s why Ryker had to buy you time. I know you’re curious, little one, but please be patient. Ryker will explain soon, and I’d rather you be angry with him than me.” Tyger grinned winningly, and I burst into laughter. All right, I’ll try not to let my curiosity eat me alive in the meantime. Knowing that Ryker wouldn’t deny me seeing Riff eased a terrible ache in my soul, so I was content to wait to learn this secret. I assumed Char was included as well because the two of them were important to me. Poor Riff, I couldn’t believe I left the way I did. He must be so hurt.

  “Angry, actually, and not at you,” Tyger murmured, and I glanced at him with hope blossoming in my chest. “I checked on him before you and I met because I knew he was important to you. Just as I knew who and what you were the first time I saw you. I followed Ryker’s trail, you see. Albeit, I didn’t know what I was looking for. At least until a pig-tailed little girl tugged on my pants and asked if I was lost because I felt upset. As soon as I looked at you, I understood why Ryker snuck away and vowed to watch over you when I could. He knew I met you when I returned home. Ryker slammed me into a wall to snarl his warning that regardless of his fondness for me, he’d skin me alive if I harmed so much as one hair on your head. I was aware you and Arctic would bond as well, because he mauled me once Ryker released me after I assured him I would never dream of hurting you.”

  So, I met Tyger, Ryker, and Jaxy, but couldn’t remember them. That sucks. Ah, well, I hope I regain the memories someday. “How’s Matty?” I asked after a moment, and Tyger relaxed with a smile.

  “Your little brother is spending time with Snow, getting the hell mothered out of him and enjoying every second. So, take a shower, and get dressed, then you can spend time with him. He’s worried sick about you, but Snow has kept him busy to keep him from mulling too much,” Arctic chuckled. I flinched when he spoke, and he laughed under his breath. Damn alpha. Tyger snorted a laugh, and I gave the shifter a warning glare. A thought suddenly occurred to me, and my blood turned cold, but Tyger shook his head.

  “Ryker will be pissed about why Arctic revealed himself as an alpha. But he will merely be irritated that you know Arctic is more than just someone you have a close bond with. He won’t take it out on Arctic either. When he learns who opened that door, however, well, that’s a different story. Ryker’s not the forgiving type, except with you. Oh, and a tidbit of information to quash those fears of yours. The worst punishment Ryker will ever inflict upon you is he will ground you from your friends. He will never hurt you. Piss you off, sure. Cause you to stubbornly continue to do whatever irritated him, definitely. Never will he harm you, nor Matty. Liam won’t allow that,” Tyger explained in a gentle voice. I felt the truth of his words in my soul and relaxed with a sigh of relief.

  “The only reason Ryker mentioned punishments, is because some vampires here are dangerous. For example, they distressed you emotionally, knowing it would affect you physically. Ryker wants you to be wary so you won’t get hurt. Not because he desires it. Hell, you could break everything in this place, and he’d coo about how adorable you are,” Arctic chuckled, and I snorted. Still, my soul felt lighter, and my heart warmed.

  While I didn’t like that the vampire scared me with his threat, I understood the reasoning behind it. So, I wouldn’t hold it against him. Not forever, anyway. Tyger smirked and shook his head before helping me stand and offering me a familiar bag. My soul brightened upon recognizing it, and I to
ok it happily, relief filling me from having my stuff back. “No one went through it,” Tyger assured me before I could wonder and my shoulders relaxed, albeit I hadn’t realized I was worried about it. “Ryker wanted you to settle in a bit. That way, you wouldn’t think he was trying to hint for you to run off again.” I looked at the shifter with my brow furrowed, and he nodded. “Yes, Ryker’s an idiot. But that’s why he needs you. How else shall we get his head out of his ass?” With that dry question, the shifter left, pulling Arctic with him while I laughed so hard tears filled my eyes.

  Upon opening my bag, I discovered the phone Char gave me nestled on top and stared at it for several seconds. Swallowing, I grabbed it with shaking fingers and sighed upon finding the iPod and headphones nestled on top of my sketchbook. Jaxy. Soft laughter echoed in my ears, and I shook my head. I wasn’t ready to see if anyone tried to contact me, so I placed the phone on the counter, followed by my sketchbook with the gifts from Marcus and Ava too. Tears stung my eyes when I glanced at them again before I shook my head and dug for clothes.

  Flinching, I glanced at the door to the bathroom, swallowing nervously when someone softly knocked again. “I don’t want your treasures, Angel,” Tyger soothed gently. “But you’re one of us, so you have to look the part.” The teasing petulance in his voice gave me the strength to open the door, and he looked at what I set aside before smiling and kissing my forehead. “I know you’ll feel more comfortable in your underclothes items, but this is your outfit. Wear it, or I will dress you myself since you’re my favorite little doll.” Rubbing our noses together, the shifter grinned wickedly before cheerfully bidding me to enjoy my shower. Bastard.