Bouquet of Regret (Angel's Shifters Book 1)

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Bouquet of Regret (Angel's Shifters Book 1) Page 32

by Lenai McGoveran


  Chuckling, I tilted my head to the side, trying to understand why they were upset, and Tyger chuffed again, nuzzling my fingers. Riff frowned, then met my gaze hesitantly. What? Riff wasn’t one to shy away from anything. With a wince, he shook his head before a few pops and cracks filled the air. One second, Riff the boy stood before me, the next he hunched, then a wolf was in his place. A low whistle escaped my lips while I took in the wolf who stood taller than the teenager. I understood why Dakota smiled when I turned in my homework for our art class. My piece had the back of a young man’s head at the near end, and a wolf at the far end of what turned out to be a hallway.

  The wolf was a light color with a few shaded areas, including a spot around its eye. Whereas the hair of the person had dark-tipped ends. The hall held a case with a few trophies, albeit they came in several shapes and sizes. Dakota shook his head upon seeing it, a smile curling his lips. Although, he raised his brow when he saw my sketch of Ky, which I now understood too. It would be surprising to find out someone’s wolf ran around without their knowledge.

  Alas, I digress. The wolf standing with a hesitant posture a few feet away had fur of a light color. I guessed it to be white-blond, with a few dark spots. The tip of his tail and his paws were dark, I’m assuming the fur there was black, but I couldn’t tell in the dim moonlight. And, adorably, there was a dark spot surrounding his left eye. My fingers twitched, and when I stepped closer, his fear of rejection wrapped around my senses, softening my heart. Poor Riff feared I wouldn’t pet him or get close while he was a wolf. Shaking my head, I set about putting those fears to rest.

  Within three steps, I stood before the wolf who laid his ears back while he tucked his tail, and I threw my arms around his neck. “I love you, Riff. I’m not afraid of you, nor your wolf. How could I fear the first boy to take me under his wing and ensure I know I’m safe?” Tears thickened my voice, and I buried my face in his fur. It pained my soul that I somehow put the fear of rejection in the teenager who stood up to Kyler for me. “I might get angry with you, or fear you deciding I’m not good enough to be your friend, but I don’t see how I could ever be afraid of you.”

  With a soft chuff, Riff licked my tears, and I chuckled while trying to turn away, so my face wasn’t covered in wolf slobber. Char chortled, then popping, and cracks filled the air again. Dark fur that I guessed to be ashen brown covered his wolf, who was as tall as Riff’s. Chuckling, I held my hand out to him and discovered his fur was silky too. I liked how soft the wolves felt, even though it looked like their fur should be coarse and rough. Kissing the wolves on their noses, I chuckled when their eyes filled with awe. Werewolves haven’t hurt me yet, not as wolves, so why would I fear them? Ky made it clear I was safe around him, so I didn’t fear the giant predator. Nor did Tyger fill my soul with fear, or Snow.

  Yawning, it surprised me to find myself held to Ryker’s chest while Tyger shook his fur and glanced at the wolves. Oh, dear. And the pissing contest begins… now. Sure enough, the large predators took off running, albeit the smallest of them was the swiftest. I laughed when Arctic stopped several yards in front of them to yip in a way I could only describe as mocking. That’s my fox.

  “Close your eyes,” Ryker murmured tenderly, and I sighed before doing as he bid. I was sure he could run fast, and I didn’t want to be disoriented by a blur of colors and shapes. My stomach felt queasy at the thought, and a shudder shook my body. I’d like to say wind whipped my hair around, but it was more of that feeling you get on a roller coaster. That brief floaty sensation in your stomach before gravity catches up to you. Then it stopped, and the air was heavy while the stillness almost felt wrong. “Open your eyes, little one,” Ryker’s voice sounded amused, and I blinked them open.

  “Hi, bunny,” Dakota grinned, his tired eyes full of relief and warmth. Meanwhile, Tyger, Snow, and Arc already returned to their human forms while the wolves eyed them with a touch of jealousy. Shaking my head, I recalled the shredded clothes the wolves shook off with a soft chuckle. Somehow, the shifters could keep their clothes, while the werewolves couldn’t. “Here, you dolts. You’re lucky I don’t want Angel to be embarrassed, and I brought you some sweats.” The relief of the wolves was palatable, and I sighed while they accepted bundles from Dakota before disappearing into the dark around the side of the house.

  Blinking, I looked around while Ryker set me on my feet. Thankfully, he kept a steadying hand on my shoulder at first because my legs were a little weak. I’d say I was thankful it didn’t take him long to run here, but I feared that’s why I was so unstable on my feet. Smiling gratefully at the vampire, I took in as much of the house Jaxy left Dakota as I could in the dark. There were a multitude of windows along the vast expanse of siding, and a few balconies. It surprised me to notice there weren’t any houses nearby. I mean, I saw what looked like lights shining in the dark, but they were about the size of a pinprick because of the distance. Trees surrounded us, judging by the shapes and shadows encircling the house.

  “Sorry, you must struggle to see,” Dakota murmured with a grimace judging by the tone of his voice. “I never turned the lights on since I haven’t been inside. I wanted to get everything set up, but I couldn’t find the courage.” Pain filled Dakota’s voice, causing my heart to reflect it while my soul wept for him. With Ryker’s help, I navigated the dark ground until I threw my arms around Dakota’s neck.

  “Do you want me to help?” I asked, my voice a nearly soundless whisper. God, the relief pouring off Dakota almost caused me to stumble while my soul and shoulders relaxed. Poor thing. He laced our fingers together when he pulled away. Dakota led me to the door where Riff and Char waited with tiredness oozing from them in waves.

  “Now, while I don’t come in here, my mom did a few days ago. She said something told her it would be needed soon, so we have dry goods and fresh sheets. Nothing fancy, and it’ll still be musty because she couldn’t bring herself to open the windows. It smells like Jaxy, and, well, he was her nephew, so she loved him too.” I nodded my understanding, poor Dakota’s voice sounded like he struggled to withhold tears. I squeezed his fingers, and he trembled for a moment before producing a key from his pocket. Char took his phone, using it to shine a light on the lock so I could see what Dakota did.

  With shaking fingers, the young wolf put the key in the lock, but his arm trembled so badly his hand fell away. Swallowing nervously, I grabbed his hand, leading it back to the key before wrapping my fingers around his. After another swallow, we turned the key together, and a shuddering sigh escaped Dakota’s lips. I threw my arms around him to pull the tormented boy into a tight hug. My arms tightened when a soft sob left his lips, and I rubbed his back while trying to come up with something that might offer comfort. A song came to mind that brought tears to my eyes every time I heard it because it was something I wanted. A place to come from and a family. But it also felt like a song Jaxy would have loved had he been alive when it came out. Even if he only sang it to tease his cousin. It’s what I would never have, a song I couldn’t sing to any boy I wanted to bring home. Nor have I ever had to worry about any hearts other than mine suffering from my choices. My mouth opened after I hummed a few notes, and the words to More Hearts Than Mine by Ingrid Andress fell from my lips.

  “I can’t wait to show you where I grew up

  Walk you ‘round the foothills of my town

  Probably feel like you’ve been there before

  After hearing all the stories I’ve been telling you

  For six months now

  We’ll probably have to sleep in separate bedrooms

  Pack a shirt for church because we’ll go

  I’m not trying to scare you off but

  I just thought that we should talk a few things out

  Before we hit the road

  If I bring you home to mama

  I guess I’d better warn ya

  She falls in love a little faster than I do

  And my dad will check your tires

  Pour y
ou whiskey over ice and

  Take you fishing but pretend that he don’t like you

  Oh, if we break up, I’ll be fine

  But you’ll be breaking more hearts than mine

  My sister’s gonna ask a million questions

  Say anything she can to turn you red

  And when you meet my high school friends

  They’ll buy you drinks and fill you in

  On all the crazy nights I can’t outlive

  So if I bring you home to mama

  I guess I’d better warn ya

  She falls in love a little faster than I do

  And my dad will check your tires

  Pour you whiskey over ice and

  Buy you dinner but pretend that he don’t like you

  Oh, if we break up, I’ll be fine

  But you’ll be breaking more hearts than mine

  If I bring you home to mama

  I guess I’d better warn ya

  She feels every heartache I go through

  And if my dad sees me crying

  He’ll pour some whiskey over ice and

  Tell a lie and say he never really liked you

  Oh, if we break up, I’ll be fine

  But you’ll be breaking more hearts than mine

  You’ll be breaking more hearts than mine.”

  When I finished, my shoulder was wet from Dakota’s tears, but the chaos tearing at his heart had calmed. Tears clung to my lashes, but I ducked my head so no one saw them. Albeit, I feared they heard the break in my voice when I nearly choked on the words my heart wished were true. Not because I wanted to cause anyone pain, but due to my desire to have a family. God, I missed mom so much. I wished she were here so I could hug her. Hell, I wished I could talk to her about being an omega and how any alpha could try to court me hoping to be chosen as my mate. Mentally shaking my head, I refocused on the boy who needed my attention to help soothe his broken heart.

  “Jax would have loved that song,” Dakota’s voice was thick with tears, and a bitter smile curled my lips. I thought as much. “Thank you. I can picture him singing that every time I dare get in his car, and while it hurts, it lightens my heart too.” His voice lowered, and tenderness filled his words. “I love you too. I heard the pain in your voice, the longing, so thank you for putting aside your hurt for me. But that’s enough of that. Let’s get you settled so you and the idiots who followed you where they were forbidden to go can get some sleep before school tomorrow. You won’t get much, but hopefully enough that you can function.”

  “Will you stay?” I asked softly, feeling guilty the second the words escaped. I shouldn’t ask that of him. He had a mate, and a home, and didn’t need to stay in a house that would only hurt his heart.

  “Actually,” Dakota whispered with warmth filling his voice along with tears. “It might be the last chance I have to fall asleep with my cousin’s scent in my nose. So, if you’ll have me, yes, I would like to stay.” Oh, Dakota. Sniffling, I turned the knob and pulled Dakota into the house before we stalled all night.

  Home Sweet Home

  I flipped the first switch I found, causing light to chase away the darkness and sting my eyes. Once my eyes adjusted, I noticed the werewolves and Ryker taking deep breaths while sadness wrapped around me. So, they could smell Jaxy and it was breaking their hearts. Ryker recovered first, shaking his head with a soft sigh. “Let’s get you to bed, bunny. You still haven’t recovered from the initial excitement of your first visit to Wolfram, let alone the events of the past few days. Come, you need sleep. I, for one, expect a detailed report of what happens during school,” the vampire murmured.

  Sighing, I let him pull me close while eyeing the werewolves who looked like they might cry. All I smelled was musty air, so I was thankful to have human senses. Although, I wondered if smelling Jax would bring back memories for me? I used to clutch my blanket, especially after the point in time Jaxy claimed he took himself from my mind. So even though I didn’t remember him, I knew something was missing.

  After a few minutes, Dakota opened his eyes, followed by Riff and Char, with the teenagers sporting bittersweet smiles. Shaking his head, Dakota murmured, “I’ll show you to the master bedroom, bunny. Jax spent a lot of time here, but he never lived in this house. I always thought it was odd, although he said I’d understand someday. Jax knew I hated when he got cryptic, so he did every chance he got. God, I miss him so much.” Ryker let me go, and I pulled the nearly in tears Dakota into my arms. Biting my lip, I recalled the conversation that seemed like it occurred a lifetime ago and cursed myself. No wonder it was so hard for them to let go of their pain since I focused on what I lost.

  With a deep breath, I closed my eyes and thought of how happy I was living with Riff and Char, letting peace take over my heart. Slowly, I breathed out my chaos, and, since I was focusing on emotions, I sensed when Riff and Char found their inner peace as well. Dakota took a few more minutes, then the chaos clutching his heart in icy talons lost its grip, and he got the better of his emotions instead of succumbing to them. Usually, I would encourage them to embrace their sadness and let it out, but I feared none of them would sleep while chaos ruled their hearts. I fear they feel on some level they’re betraying Jax by replacing him with me. Smelling him while I stand beside them only seems to have driven that painful point home. I doubt that’s the case. I would prefer they found someone like me to ease the pain in their hearts, were I the one who was gone.

  Once Dakota wrangled the emotions trying to strangle his heart, he smiled gratefully then wrapped his arm around my shoulders to lead me to the stairs. My tired eyes didn’t take in too many details, but what I saw looked… homey. We traversed a dark hallway, pausing in the room’s doorway at the end, and I winced to prepare for the onslaught of light.

  It wasn’t too terrible since my eyes adjusted to light downstairs. I fought sighing and laughing while Dakota stared at the room with irritation and love pouring from him in waves. Finally, he muttered, “that fucking asshole.” His voice was warm and exasperated, which caused a smile to tug at my lips.

  The room meant to serve as the master bedroom was decorated intending to impress a girl. While the walls weren’t pink, they were a soft, pretty blue, as was the comforter. The dressers and ceiling were a delicate ivory, and the curtains looked whimsical since they were gauzy. Blinds keep out the light of the moon while offering privacy. A smile tugged at my lips while I took in these details since Dakota’s exasperation with his cousin continued to grow. However, once I noticed what sat on the dressers, a lump in my throat made it hard to swallow.

  With trembling fingers, I gently touched the delicate-looking figurines. Once, when I was little, I vaguely recalled telling someone I wanted to live in the zoo so the animals weren’t lonely. Tears filled my eyes when I picked up the pretty, ceramic tiger, my heart aching while I looked over the assortment of animals. There was an elephant, leopard, seal, bear, polar bear, koala, zebra, giraffe, cheetah, lion, lynx, tiger, jaguar, wolf, hyena, hippo, rhino, turtle, tortoise, penguin, puffin, antelope, gazelle, and a little bat. What caused my heart the most pain, however, was in the center of the group of figurines sat one that looked like me. I fought tears while I stared at the little girl wearing ripped jeans and a hoodie with a broad smile and a twinkle in her eyes. Oh, Jaxy.

  I sensed his presence this time, because of the heaviness of his sadness. It wrapped around me, tugging at my heart and encouraging the tears in my eyes to fall. Sniffling, I wiped the first one away while struggling to fight the rest of them. A soft clunk had me turning my head to stare at a delicate-looking box on top of a different dresser. In my mind, I saw Jaxy leaning on the polished ivory wood with a grin and trouble shining in his eyes while he poked the lid again, so it rattled once more.

  Blinking when my eyes realized the space by the dresser was empty, I fought the pang of disappointment filling my heart. My mind pictured him so vividly, I expected Jaxy to be standing there. Swallowing the painful lump in my throat, I a
pproached the dresser to stare at the mirrored rectangle that looked big enough to hold something the size of a birthday card. The excitement pouring off Jaxy’s invisible ghost was palpable, and my fingers trembled when I removed the lid with its gilded, swirling wooden overlay.

  I was right, there was an envelope like a card came in, and it had ‘bunny’ written on it in Jaxy’s scrawl. With shaking fingers, I pulled the card from the envelope, distractedly noticing that a folded piece of paper fell from it as I did.

  Hi, bunny!

  I can only imagine how long it took me to get you here. Stubborn little thing that you are, but you come by it honestly. I shall make a few assumptions that I do not doubt are correct. You’ve met Ryker, the enigmatic vampire, and he’s decided you should continue living in Wolfram because you have friends here. Am I right? I know I am, so don’t lie, little bunny. I love you, you know that, right? Since I am certain Ryker can’t keep his mouth shut, you’ve figured out that Molly and I are step siblings. Therefore, I’m your uncle. However, as you might have guessed, that isn’t the full story. I won’t divulge it here, but there’s someone, or rather a few someones, I desire to surprise more than you. Hopefully, I got my timing right. Well, I must have for you to be in this house. Therefore, the big bad alpha isn’t around.

  He’s not a terrible guy, I swear. He was my alpha, which felt akin to a fatherly bond for me. It’s different for everyone, but always beloved with a good alpha. He raised Kyler a hell of a lot better than it appears. The boy is an idiot. Unfortunately for your fated mate, he doesn’t realize how furious his father will be upon returning home and discovering what you are. Not in a bad way, but because of how precious you are and how much it will benefit the pack to have you around. I hope Kyler wasn’t dumb enough to abuse you. God have mercy on that boy if he did because his father won’t.

 

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