I place one palm on each of her ass cheeks. “Here’s a headline for you—if you don’t lower yourself down onto my third phalange immediately, I will be showing you exactly how wrong you are about that.”
She places her hands on my shoulders, bracing herself. “Well, now I’m not going to tell you the really important thing I just saw on your Mount of Venus.”
“Stop saying ‘mount’ and mount me.” I take one pretty, perky nipple into my mouth and suck until she moans, arches her back, gives more of herself to me. I position the crown of my cock right where it needs to be, and her breath hitches, her back straightens. She can be as kooky as a sitcom character, but she is very serious about fucking me. I like that.
She eases herself down, inch by devastating, life-affirming inch, holding her breath.
She stares into my eyes. Her lips are millimeters from mine and they’re barely moving, but I know what she’s saying. “We fit. We fit together so perfectly.” She gasps, and I dig my fingers into her thighs.
As soon as she has taken me in as much as she can, she exhales like she’s sunk into a hot bath, wriggles around a little, squeezing and releasing and instantly making me forget everything that isn’t this burning, necessary connection. And then she holds my face in her hands. She tilts her chin up that tiny bit, pressing her lips to mine, and everything that I am is hers now.
I can be quippy as fuck with this woman, but as soon as my mouth is on Willa’s, it forgets how to do anything other than kiss her.
Hot and frantic and deliberate and desperate for more.
My lips were made for this.
My tongue was made for this.
My teeth were made for this.
My breaths are meant to be shared with hers.
Her little sighs and moans are just for me.
Fuck this poetic shit—my dick and her pussy were made for each other.
I recognize the scent of lavender and those flowers that I bought her on her skin, along with something earthy and sexy that I can’t picture or name, but I do recognize it. She’s right. It’s us. She’s wearing me on her skin, and it both awakens and satisfies some primal need to mark her as mine. I want to be all over her, inside her, on top of her, beneath her, beside her, around her. I want to inhale her so my lungs can bring her to every part of my body.
None of this can be expressed with words, only gripping hands and vigorous thrusts and caveman grunts.
Willa is a sleek, bouncing beauty. Panting, eyes closed, head thrown back, lost in whatever it is I’m making her feel as I drive up into her. I am definitely firing my trainer—this is the only abs workout I’ll ever need. I am relentless, and she is taking everything I give her, and it only turns me on more. Instead of staring at her tits, in order to keep from erupting, I stay fixated on the slender gold necklace. She is so damp from the shower and sweat that the little gold heart sticks to her skin, even though she’s experiencing extreme turbulence.
“Oh my God, Shane, don’t stop!”
“I’d fuck you like this forever if I could, baby.”
“Yes! Fuck me forever. Oh God!” Her entire body contracts, and then she comes apart in a screaming, wailing, cursing jumble of tremors and waves and convulsions. I try to watch for as long as I can because it’s so fucking beautiful, but feeling it happen all around my cock sends me right over the edge.
I see stars and the abyss and a flash memory of Willa’s smiling face when I first met her.
The guilt only lasts a second, because I mean—I’m coming—but it is not okay to picture a twelve-year-old girl during sex, even if you’re doing it with the grown-up version of her.
I might have to schedule another appointment with Dr. Shaw.
Willa is plastered to me, arms wrapped tight around my neck, still straddling me while we catch our breaths.
I already know that every time with her, it will be perfect, but I could do a million takes and never feel like I got it just right.
Because I didn’t get to be her first.
Because she wasn’t my first.
But if I can be her best and last, I might come close to showing her that it’s the first time that anything I’ve ever done with a woman has ever felt this good and real.
Fuck guilt.
I stroke the back of her head. “Tell me what you saw on my Mount of Venus.”
She pulls back and smiles. “You have a trident.”
“A trident?”
“Yeah. See?” She takes hold of my hand and points out a little fork indentation at the base of my thumb. “It’s a very lucky sign. It means you’ll find your true love,” she whispers.
I take her hand in mine. If someone had told me this even a month ago, I wouldn’t have believed it. Now I do. “What about you?” I flip her hand over so I can see her palm. “Do you have one too?” I have never wanted so badly to see a trident on someone’s Mount of Venus. The little lines at the base of her thumb are so faint. She sees me struggling to find what I’m looking for and curls her fingers inward a bit, making the lines more obvious.
And there it is.
A trident.
Right around the same place mine is at.
I place my hand over hers.
She rests her forehead against mine.
We’re so fucking cute, we might have to do something extra filthy really soon, but for now, I’m going to lift her hand to my lips and press a kiss to the back of her hand.
It’s worth the cheese to hear her sigh and see her blush and smile.
I touch the heart pendant on her neck. “I like this. I like that you’re always wearing it.”
“Oh… That’s…ironic.”
“Why?”
She takes a deep breath and shrugs, reaching for her towel as she lifts herself up off me. “I bought it for myself after I found out you were going to marry Margo. To remind myself to protect my heart.”
“To protect your heart from me?”
“To remind myself not to give my heart away so easily. I mean, it was just a crush. I had an overactive imagination.” She’s sighing and blushing and smiling again, but this time she’s embarrassed.
Fuck.
Guilt again.
“I hate that. I hate that you felt that way.”
“It’s not your fault. Honestly, I mean, it’s no different from having a crush on Zac Efron, except that I happened to meet you once because of my brother… Oops. I’m not supposed to mention Nico when we’re naked.”
“Don’t tell me it’s not a big deal if it was a big deal. You’re still wearing the necklace. Also—fuck Zac Efron.”
“It was a big deal and then it wasn’t. I like the necklace. And I didn’t say I had a crush on him.”
“Good, because the guy’s a dick.”
“Is he really?”
“No, not at all. But stay away from him.” Fuck, I’m losing my mind. But fuck Zac Efron.
“I mean, I’ll try to stay away from him, but I can’t promise anything.”
I grab her hand. I want to promise her everything, but I can’t. “I’m going to make it up to you.”
“There’s nothing to make up for. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t even know how I felt. Nobody did.” She gives my hand a squeeze. “You have good judgment. You did the right thing. I don’t want to change the past.” She lets go of my hand to wrap the towel around herself and then leans down to kiss my cheek. “And I don’t want to protect my heart anymore.”
Goddammit.
This woman.
Her heart isn’t the one that needs protecting.
20
Willa
It was so sweet, how upset Shane seemed to be about the meaning of my heart necklace. He told me that next month, Margo would be in town for five days during spring break, so she’ll have the kids at her house. He told me that he wants me to stay with him for those five days, even when the kids aren’t around. He told me that he wants to take me out for a real grown-up date and do all the things that twentysomethin
g Angelenos do, all night long. I said sure, as long as “all night long” means until ten p.m. After showering together again, we went to pick up the kids from school—together—for the first time since my first day on the job. We got frozen yogurt on the way home. I had the kids help me cut blooms from the front yard, and we made bouquets for them to give to Mrs. Babcock for her birthday. I took a bunch of pictures of them with the flowers and posted my favorite one of them—where you can only see them from the back—on my Instagram. Shane and I both gave them a bath together, and then once the twins were asleep, we made out in the laundry room downstairs for fifteen minutes and then he went off to read while I worked on the fragrance for Margo. It was perfect.
This morning, after one of the greatest Mondays ever, I woke up to an e-mail from Margo Quincey, informing me that by posting an image of her children on Shane’s property on Instagram, I have violated one of the terms of the nondisclosure agreement. She told me that she would let it slide since I didn’t name them, as long as I take down the post immediately. Then she asked me how her fragrance is coming along. My fragrance, she called it.
I deleted the post and wrote her back, apologizing once and telling her that I think she’ll be pleased with my design when she samples it next month.
I didn’t hear back from her.
And I’ve been annoyed about it ever since. I was annoyed about it while I fed the kids breakfast and while I took them to school. I was annoyed about it while I bought groceries with the credit card that Shane gave me for buying things for the kids. I was annoyed while I went to the stationary store and the toy store to get gifts for the birthday party the twins are going to next weekend. I’m annoyed now that I’m putting away the groceries that I bought for us and getting out the things I’ll need to bake cookies for the kids to snack on after their karate class.
I get that she’s the mother and I’m just the nanny. I get that she’s the ex-wife and I’m just the girl who had a massive crush on her ex-husband many years ago and is currently having awesome sex with him for who knows how long. I get that I did not pay close enough attention to the NDA when I started working here because I was so overwhelmed by Shane’s pheromones.
But fuck.
This feels like my family.
This feels like my home.
It feels like Grammie was right about me—I’m still prone to flights of fancy when it comes to Shane Miller.
No matter how I’ve grown. No matter how confident I may be. No matter how direct I can be with him. I can’t stop feeling like he’s mine. That I belong with him. And his kids.
Oh my God, am I like the psycho nanny from that movie?
Have I imagined everything?
I haven’t seen Shane yet this morning because he had a breakfast meeting with a producer and then he had his personal training session at the gym afterwards.
I don’t want to feel like this when he comes home. I need to get these feelings out of my body. So, I go to an open space in the kitchen, take a deep breath, and jump around, punching and kicking the air. I huff and puff like a furious maniac. It feels good.
Until I hear someone quietly laughing behind me.
I freeze and cover my face.
“No, please, don’t stop.”
“Oh God. You’re never going to want to put your pretty penis in me again, are you?”
“On the contrary.” I feel his warm hands on my shoulders. “I’m actually hoping you still have a little of that angry energy left for when my penis is inside you.”
My own hands drop from my face so I can inhale the air around him. Without seeing him, I can tell that he is still glistening with sweat from his workout, and oh God the pheromones. I spin around to face him. His skin is flushed, and his fitted sleeveless Nike shirt is damp, his muscles are taut, and I want to lick every single inch of him. “I have all kinds of energy left for when your penis is inside me.” I kiss him on the mouth, but he pulls back, letting his hands slide to my waist.
“There are a few things we need to discuss first, but I’d be happy to undress you while we talk.”
“Proceed.” I stand straight so he can remove my clothes.
He starts to unbutton my blouse. “First of all, I got an e-mail from Margo this morning. She told me she asked you to take down a picture from Instagram. I’m sorry about that.” I start to apologize, but he continues. “I Skyped her and told her not to communicate with you directly regarding nanny issues, since I’m the one who hired you. She can run things through me, and I’ll decide if it’s something I need to bring up with you or not.”
“Really?”
“With everything you do for me and the kids, it just pissed me off that she reprimanded you like that for something so insignificant.” He pulls my shirt off and lets it fall to the floor.
“Thank you,” I say as he stares at my bra. “You’re such a thoughtful boss.”
He shakes his head, grinning. “Don’t even joke about that.” He unbuttons and unzips my pants. “Second item of business…” He pulls his phone out from the pocket of his workout shorts and taps on his e-mail app. “My publicist forwarded something to me. Apparently someone got a few shots of us picking up the kids at school yesterday and getting Froyo after. Must have been a slow celebrity news day.”
He shows me the online images on his phone. There’s a shot of us walking toward the school from his car with his hand barely touching the small of my back. Just thinking about the way it had felt to have his hand on the small of my back in public makes me swoon. The shots of us through the window of the frozen yogurt place make the tip of my nose tingle. We look like such a fun, happy little family. “Does that bother you? That these pictures are out there?”
“I mean, I’m not crazy about the expression on my face in this one, but…of course it doesn’t bother me. I’m a little surprised someone bothered to follow us all the way to the Palisades from the school, but… Does it bother you?”
I shake my head. He pushes my pants down past my hips, and I step out of them.
“Good.” He reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small box. “Final item of business.” He looks down at my lacey bra and panties, clearing his throat. “You are so fucking hot.” His fingertip traces the edges of my bra. He squeezes one breast and grunts.
“Final item of business?”
“Right.” He pulls his hand away from my boob and uses it to open the box, holding it up for me to see. There is a gold heart necklace inside. He removes the necklace, drops the box to the floor. The chain is slightly longer than the one I’m wearing now, and the heart is a little bit bigger. He unhooks the clasp. “Turn around. Hold your hair up.”
I do as he says.
“This is my heart,” he whispers into my ear as he places the necklace around my neck. “I want you to wear it to remind yourself that it belongs to you now.”
The new heart pendant hangs just below the old one.
“Shane. I love it.” I have to bite my lower lip to keep from saying “I love you.” I let my hair down and turn to face him again. “That is so sweet.”
“I know. I’m going to do filthy things to you right here on the counter now so we can both forget how fucking adorable I am.” He picks me up and places me down on the center island. The smooth cement is cool on my skin, but his hot breath over my panties warms me up immediately. “I’ve been thinking about you all morning.” He rubs his hands up and down my thighs, pushes my panties to the side, and licks me. “I’ve been thinking about this since last night.”
I lean back on my elbows, sighing. “I know I’m not supposed to joke about this, but I really like this job… Before I forget—Summer wanted to know if you’re coming to their first karate class today.”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
“They’re really excited about it. Oh shit, that feels so good.”
“Maybe don’t talk about my kids while I’m going down on you.”
His tongue flicks rapidly at my clit, and I forget what we were
saying. “Oh my God, Shane!”
“Ay, Dios mio!”
It takes me a second to realize that what I just heard was not, in fact, my vagina crying out in Spanish.
Plastic items fall to the floor somewhere behind me, near the entrance to the kitchen.
Shane pops up from between my legs, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Consuelo!”
“Ay! So sorry, Mr. Miller! So sorry! I clean upstairs first!”
I am too mortified to turn around, but I hear her hurry down the hall.
“Consuelo!” Shane picks up my clothes and hands them to me. “Shit. I forgot she was coming today.” He goes to the door to call out to her. “I’ll pick this stuff up for you!”
I can hear her apologizing again from the stairwell.
“That poor woman,” I mutter, covering myself with my shirt. “I should probably bake her some cookies.”
“Or possibly something that won’t remind her of me eating your cookie. And this is why we have NDAs.”
I slide down off of the counter and find Shane putting bottles of cleaning liquids back into the plastic carrier the housekeeper dropped.
“Are you saying you’ve had domestic employees walk in on you like that before?”
“I’ve never had sex with a woman besides you in this house before, Willa. I usually only hook up when I’m out of town.”
This is a shocking but welcome revelation. “Really?”
He stands up, shaking his head. He is so flustered. I don’t want to tell him he’s sweet and adorable again, but he’s so fucking sweet and adorable.
“Does that surprise you?”
I pull my pants on and shuffle over to kiss him on the cheek. “So I’m the first?” I whisper into his neck.
“Yeah. You’re the first. You’re driving me insane. And I’m going to have to give Consuelo a fucking raise.” He adjusts the front of his shorts and turns to take the cleaning supply carrier up to her. “We’ll continue that after she leaves, hopefully.”
I hold up my crossed fingers.
Sleeper Page 15