“You and she come from disparate backgrounds. You barely have anything in common. What will happen when the passion dies, and you tire of her? You will go on with your life but what about her? She will have no one to rely on for company but you will still have a full life.”
“I would–”
“Of course you would not do it deliberately,” Americus interrupted, stunning the Duke. “But life takes you in a direction you’re not expecting and…there you are.”
Jeremy looked away, thinking hard. “What would you require from me, to prove to you that I am sincere?”
Americus was silent for so long that Jeremy thought he was done with the conversation. “You must step back. Give yourselves some time and space to know if the feelings you have for her are strong enough to overcome all the obstacles that shall be in your path.”
Jeremy blinked at him. He wanted to protest and say that he was sure of his feelings now. But he had just spent the entire morning riding in a frenzy of angst and uncertainty. Maybe, Americus had a point.
“Very well then. I shall take a trip to London and then Edinburgh to have a look at my holdings. It will give me time to think.”
“Very good, Your Grace. You are making the right decision.”
Jeremy pursed his lips. “Indeed.” He murmured before getting to his feet, nodding to Americus and leaving.
* * *
Louisa knew that something was afoot. Unable to sleep much after Uncle Gilbert’s terrible announcement, she had woken early and gone to see Betty. Although she could not acquaint her friend with exactly what was bothering her, just being in her company was soothing.
She had returned to find the house in uproar and the Duke gone.
“What is going on?” she asked the maid who had looked after her father.
“His Grace is leaving for London. His mother is upset about it.”
“W-why is he leaving?”
She shrugged, walking to continue brushing away cobwebs from various corners of the house. Louisa felt sick as if her heart had dropped right into her belly.
He’s going to see her.
She tried to imagine who the lucky bride might be, but could honestly not recall Jeremy paying special attention to any lady. Of course she had not gone with him to any balls or soirees so for all she knew, it had all happened elsewhere. That friend of his – the Earl of Shearcaster – loved to drag him off to ton events now and then. For a moment she felt a frisson of real dislike for the Earl.
She considered going up to him and begging him not to go, but figured that if his mother had not managed to do it, she had no chance. Instead, she went back to the dower house where she found her father waiting for her. He opened his arms when she came into the room, just as if he knew her pain.
“Come, my girl, it will get better.” He murmured as he patted her on the back.
She really did not know if it ever would.
* * *
Jeremy arrived in London two days later, his heart heavy. He had not had a chance to speak to Louisa before he left and it was eating at him.
“Shall I book us a suite of rooms?” Gilbert Notley asked from behind him. The man had seemed extremely reluctant to leave the estate, which made Jeremy even more determined to take him with him. It was nothing he could explain logically, but he was convinced that keeping the steward close was the right thing to do.
“No. We shall be staying wi–”
“Munboro!” Daniel’s voice interrupted as the gentleman himself came striding down the street, “You’re early, how dare you?”
Jeremy could not help but grin. “I beg your apology, sir. Were you obligated to roll out bed before the sun had climbed over the yardarm?”
Daniel smirked. “You and your navalisms. Come on then, let us go and put your bags down. Then I shall unleash you on the ton.”
“Oh no, no, no,” Jeremy shook his head as he fell in step beside Daniel, leaving Gilbert and the footmen to follow behind with their luggage, “I am here to work.”
“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Did you learn nothing at Cambridge?” Daniel clapped him affectionately on the back. Jeremy just snorted with amusement.
Daniel’s townhouse was at the bottom of Mayfair lane just in front of the mews where the coach driver took the horses. His footman hurried forward to help Jeremy’s men with the luggage while the butler ushered them into the den where tea and whisky were waiting in addition to cucumber sandwiches and honey cakes. “Well, at least your household was prepared for me.” Jeremy commented.
“Indeed. Grey runs a tight ship,” Daniel said gesturing vaguely in his butler’s direction.
Behind them, the steward cleared his throat to draw their attention to him. Jeremy turned, his brow furrowed. “Notley, are you still with us?”
“Er, yes Your Grace. Would you like me to set up an appointment with your man of business?”
His frown got deeper. “Of course. Make whatever necessary arrangements are pertinent. We shall begin tomorrow.”
Notley bowed and exited the room. Jeremy turned to find Daniel studying him closely. “If you dislike your steward so much, why don’t you get rid of him?”
Jeremy shrugged. “My mother likes him and he’s Louisa’s uncle.”
“Mm. And why don’t you?”
“Why don’t I what?”
“Like him. Careful with that tea, it’s piping hot.”
“I noticed. I have no idea why I don’t like him. Mmm, this is a good vintage of whisky.”
“Only the best for my particular friend. Perhaps he reminds you of your father? Scones?”
“No, thank you. This cucumber sandwich is just the thing. And no, he most definitely does not remind me of my father. My father was nothing like him.”
“But he was your father’s steward for years. Perhaps you see the late Duke’s disapproving gaze shining from Notley’s eyes. I say, go easy on the whisky, we have a long night ahead of us.”
“I’m fine. The tea dilutes it quite a bit. And perhaps you’re right. Notley does seem to disapprove of me a lot.”
“I think your cup is more whisky than tea at this point. And how do you know Notley disapproves of you? He is nothing but respectful.”
“He observes the proprieties but his eyes give him away. And since when are you concerned about how much liquor I drink?”
“Ah, that ever-observant eye of yours strikes again! I am a big supporter of imbibing large quantities of liquor. However, you do not seem to be savoring the experience. What has transpired?”
Jeremy sighed, looking down at his feet. “I asked the painter for his daughter’s hand in marriage.”
“Oh I say! That is…”
“Unexpected? That is what the painter said too. He is convinced I am in love with the novelty of her, rather than the reality of the situation. He exhorted me to leave, get some perspective.”
“And that is why you’re miserable.”
Jeremy sighed again. “I have a heavy heart. I’m not even sure why. He did not say no. All he said was for me to be sure. I even understand his point of view. Should our marriage disintegrate, she would definitely take the brunt of the fallout. But I cannot see how I can guarantee that this would not happen.”
“Indeed. Love is a chance.”
“So? What am I to do?”
Daniel heaved a deep breath and shrugged. “I suppose all you can do is to be sure about your plan of action, now.”
“I am.”
“Careful. Don’t choke on your tea in despair. We shall find a solution to this, don’t you fret. For now, are you sure you don’t want to attend Lady Cambridge’s Venetian breakfast?”
“Nay. As far as the ton is concerned, I am an eligible bachelor. I can do without the endless fawning and flirting.”
Daniel laughed. “The fawning and flirting are the best part. Come, Munboro, you’re not married yet.”
“Indeed I am not. And at this rate, I may never be.”
“Oh, you are s
uch a wet blanket tonight. Here, have some more whisky and then we are going out. If you won’t socialize with all the swooning debutantes, there is a game of whist with your name on it at White’s.”
“Fair enough.”
* * *
Gilbert wrote a note and had a footman deliver it to the Munboro man of business. He had to meet with Mr. Fairchild before the Duke had his meeting with him. There were things that needed to be clarified.
Two hours later, he got his reply; and prepared to go out. Luckily, the Duke had gone out with the Earl and so he did not have to explain his sojourn. Mr. Fairchild had said to meet at the Blistering Arms Inn at Cheapside.
He walked to the mews and commandeered a horse.
He had worked too hard, for too long, for something as mundane as a routine visit to ruin it all.
Chapter 26
Melancholy
Louisa traced the outline of a rose as she sat in the garden, thinking anxiously. She could not understand how they had gotten here. Just a week ago she could have sworn that she and Jeremy were headed in a very different direction. She picked up a book, sitting on the bench beside her and stared at it. She recalled when he gave it to her…
He had called on her at the cottage and pressed the book into her hands, his fingertips brushing against her knuckles without lingering. It was a thin volume, with exquisite binding: black leather trimmed with gold leaf in perfect condition.
“This is truly beautiful,” Louisa met his green eyes, her own brimming. His were more lidded than usual as if to conceal his emotions. “It must be very rare and dear to you.”
“It is a first edition that I obtained in Agra at great cost to myself,” he agreed, his voice a little rough. “But I could hardly allow a woman of such curious disposition as yourself to continue without some Donne in your library.”
She smiled at the spark of humor in his eyes. “I will be sure to read it right away, I am curious as to what you consider to be essential reading for me.”
“I look forward to hearing your opinion,” he replied. There was a moment of silence where it seemed the air was heavy with unspoken words. “I should go before I overstay my welcome. I'm expected at the Lightwoods’ for dinner.”
“Yes. It wouldn't do to keep them waiting,” Louisa said, clutching the book to her chest.
“Good afternoon, Miss Notley,” he said, putting on his hat.
“You as well, Your Grace.” He went out into the corridor, and Americus opened the front door to let him out. Louisa sighed as the door shut behind his retreating figure.
“That's a very fine gift, Louisa,” Americus said, smiling. “The Duke thinks highly of you.”
“I suppose he must,” Louisa said. “He can be quite charming on occasion.”
It wasn't until after dinner, when she was alone in her room, that she allowed herself to think more on it. She sat in a chair before the flickering hearth and opened the book carefully. It smelled like dust and silence, and she could almost see the Duke standing in the midst of the soaring bookshelves in his study, reflecting on which book to choose for her.
The Holy Sonnets were, she discovered after a few minutes’ perusal, mostly religious in nature. It wasn't necessarily a courting gift, or it wouldn't be if it were not so expensive.
The Duke, she suspected, was not the sort of person to lavish gifts on his help, although she did not know if he did so with his friends. Still, he could simply be enamored with her depiction of him. She had noticed that he was ambivalent about his scarred visage before. This might simply be some form of gratitude.
Not that she didn't like Jeremy. He was honest and witty, and his conversations were always interesting. He respected her opinions, which had been a novel experience coming from a gentleman. Her only regret was that they were so unevenly yoked that there was no way he would consider her as more than perhaps a mistress. And she was not ready to take up that role.
Do I love Jeremy?
She certainly enjoyed his company. And he was handsome, though other women might not have thought so. Everyone in Munboro agreed that the Earl of Shearcaster was dashing, with his cool blue eyes and commanding manner, but to Louisa, Jeremy had a spark of something in his eyes that reminded her of the great oaks of the nearby woods. His roots ran deep into the secret heart of things, but he was steady and solid in his convictions, if not quite in his temperament. To be kept under the shelter of his affection seemed like a rare privilege. He had a way of surprising her with unusual opinions, and she wanted to know him better.
If that isn’t love, then it’s surely a good start.
And now she was just so confused. She had no idea what she had done to change his mind or if she had been mistaken from the very first. He was in London, probably rekindling the romance he had run away to sea to escape. She recalled her Uncle Gilbert telling them about it. She could think of no other reason why he would leave so abruptly.
“Why couldn’t you at least have given me an explanation?”
“I beg your pardon?” she jumped as she heard the voice, whipping her head around to see the Dowager Duchess standing a few feet away. She got to her feet, and curtsied.
“Your Grace. I did not see you there.”
If Louisa hadn’t known better she could have sworn the Dowager Duchess smirked. “I see. What has you talking to yourself? I thought that was reserved for old ladies like me.”
Louisa decided she could do coy as well and grinned. “Me too. How misinformed of us.”
The Dowager Duchess sighed, stepping up into the gazebo to take a seat next to Louisa. “You’re thinking about my son.”
Louisa looked down at her drawing. “Is it that obvious?”
“Well…” the Dowager Duchess gave her a one-armed shrug and a wry smile.
“I suppose…you think me foolish in the extreme.”
“Why would I think that?”
“Because I had this silly notion that maybe the Duke fancied me as much as I fancied him.”
“Fancied? Is that the word?”
Louisa shot her a shy look. “It’s the only one that I can afford to say.”
“Mm, well…I do not know if he told you this before he left but the Duke did ask me an important question.”
Louisa only asked because she was clearly expected to. “And what question was that?”
“He asked me how I would feel were he to marry below his station.”
Louisa’s heart dropped. “Oh.” She looked at her feet, not wanting the Dowager Duchess to see the sense of betrayal in her eyes. It was one thing to think that Jeremy had gone off to London to find himself a duchess…it was another to realize that he would settle for a person of lesser status, but not her.
The Dowager Duchess sighed in exasperation. “He was asking about you, silly. He wanted to marry you.”
Louisa looked up so fast she gave herself whiplash. “What? He did? Then why…?” her eyes were wide and it was all she could do not to clutch the Dowager Duchess and shake her until she gave up all her answers.
The Dowager Duchess laughed. “I believe your father had other ideas.”
“My fa…my father?” Louisa’s voice was high with breathlessness.
“Why, yes. He told His Grace to make sure he would be satisfied with just your lowly presence because if he married you and then changed his mind, you would be the one to suffer.”
Louisa opened and closed her mouth like a dying fish unable to truly understand anything. There were too many details to absorb. Jeremy had asked for her hand? Her father had refused him? What kind of topsy-turvy world was this?
She did not know what to think or do.
“A-and what did Jeremy say? Was he sure?” she asked, unthinkingly using the Duke’s first name in front of the Dowager Duchess in her agitation.
“He agreed to your father’s terms.”
“Meaning what?”
The Dowager Duchess widened her eyes at Louisa incredulously as if it should be obvious. “He separated himsel
f from you so as to see if the emotion were real or as a result of proximity.”
Louisa simply gaped at her.
“I-is that why he’s in London? To get away from me?”
“Among other things…”
“Other things?”
“He is a Duke after all, my dear. He has holdings to oversee.”
Tempting The Ruined Duke (Steamy Historical Regency Romance) Page 22