Chapter 31
Consummation
Louisa woke up with gentle rays of sunlight on her face, a warm body nestled against hers and unmistakable quiet snores that she probably shouldn’t have found adorable. She didn’t open her eyes, but instead breathed in deeply and spared a second to hope she really was awake.
The preceding day had, in every possible way, exceeded her expectations. She had left home with the nagging thought that she was more cautious than optimistic about this gentleman’s intentions. Despite her father’s attempt to talk Jeremy out of the marriage, she discovered to her astonishment that he truly wanted her as his wife. Eventually, the guests had left and her husband had proceeded to assure her most vigorously that she was also wanted.
The thought was enough to put a helpless smile on Louisa’s face.
Sometimes it almost felt too good to be true, except that when she opened her eyes, she wasn’t dreaming.
The small movement she’d made had been enough to wake Jeremy up, and Louisa would have been sorry for that had it not been for the radiant smile on Jeremy’s face as he looked up to meet Louisa’s eye.
“Good morning,” Jeremy said.
“Morning.”
Jeremy shifted against her, turning to his side to face Louisa. The move added some distance between them, but Louisa didn’t mind. Not with Jeremy’s eyes watching her softly, as if maybe Jeremy thought that he was still dreaming.
There was only so long that Louisa could stand such unbroken doting, though. It made her uncomfortable, as if the longer Jeremy watched her, the more likely it was that his gaze would snag on a flaw that Louisa couldn’t hide and lose interest forever.
“Did you sleep well, Jeremy?”
She said the name slowly and with purpose, like a caress. Last night had taught her a lot about Jeremy, and one, not insignificant discovery was that Louisa only needed Jeremy’s own name to distract him.
If she’d thought that the flush it summoned to Jeremy’s face when it rolled off Louisa’s tongue was a delight, she now knew that in the right moment, it could ignite a very different kind of fire in her husband. In some other moment, it could simply melt him into a happy warmth that savored the feel of Louisa’s arms around him.
Louisa could hardly wait to learn what else she could do with Jeremy.
This morning, the name yielded her a languid smile, a fluttering of Jeremy’s eyes and warm fingers that sought Louisa’s hand and squeezed it before simply holding on. It felt like something that they’d done a thousand times, despite Louisa’s acute awareness that no one had ever done that sort of thing to her.
“I did,” Jeremy said. Louisa watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed. “I hope you did, too.”
Louisa ran her thumb over Jeremy’s hand where it was still clutching Louisa’s. “Most certainly. Although I’m starting to think I woke up even better.”
Jeremy moved closer, but his green eyes were so focused on Louisa that she wasn’t sure if he even realized he was doing it.
“When do we have to get up?”
Louisa almost let out a laugh, but the moment seemed too fragile for it. If she’d been in a melancholy mood, everything the question revealed about Jeremy’s outlook on life – a barrage of duty with no consideration for his own pleasure – might have been heart-breaking, but Louisa was decidedly in a good mood. In fact, she felt absolutely decadent.
“In my humble opinion,” she said, “we’ll get up once we can no longer be convinced to stay here with each other.”
Jeremy blinked before his face lit up with a smile. He held Louisa’s hand tighter under the blankets.
“Something tells me that, we’ll be here a while. You’re very convincing.”
Louisa smiled back at him and pretended to stretch herself a little so that she could have an excuse to move closer. The bed with the thin linen sheets and a goose-down mattress was on the whole very comfortable, but the most pleasant part of it at the moment was no doubt the warm body Louisa brushed against.
“I trust no duty calls you away so soon, Jeremy. Even the ton must not wish to bother a gentleman less than a day after his wedding.”
Jeremy’s breath hitched as Louisa’s hand traveled up his side. “Most, members of the ton marry for convenience. I’ve no idea how they spend the morning after their wedding.” He raised their still-joined hands to his mouth and left a line of kisses along Louisa’s knuckles. “I doubt it’s this pleasant.”
Louisa could feel her heart constrict at the words, but she wasn’t going to let it show on her face. Jeremy had made it clear several times that he wanted a marriage more than in name, but it still did something to Louisa’s insides to hear it affirmed so casually.
She pushed the feeling away and affected a flippant tone. “Should any of your associates think you share in their marital misery; I hope you gave the servants strict orders to pronounce you unavailable before we go down to breakfast.”
Jeremy held her gaze for a few seconds and evidently reached up to cup the side of Louisa’s face with his hand and kissed Louisa deeply. It did not start as a chaste kiss, and only got more intentional, “Can we... do you want to?” she asked as he broke it off, her voice hoarse.
“Oh, Louisa,” Jeremy said, “I thought you’d never ask.”
The reverent touch of his lips on hers was already enough to make her tremble and sigh. But when his hands slowly slid up her thighs to brush ever-so-gently against her springy curls, and slip through her slick folds, she had to press her fist to her mouth to keep from moaning out loud. So it was a bit of a disappointment to find herself suddenly bereft of all of his touches.
She mewled in protest, but he ignored her. Taking hold of her hands instead, he pulled them up above her head and fixed them against the headboard, his big hand easily gripping both her wrists.
"Do not stifle a single one of your sounds. I want to hear you. I want to know the sound of your every breath and sigh and moan", Jeremy declared ferociously, and Louisa almost moaned out loud right then.
His forceful voice, the shackle of his strong fingers around her wrists, and the way his hold made her back arch in an almost lewd manner – it was all so unbelievably erotic that Louisa was quite sure she would simply burst into flames.
She thought vaguely, that he really should take his sleeping shirt off. She loved his chest, its solidity, and strength and the texture of muscles hidden under cotton. She had reason to believe the sight of it would rival that of Michelangelo's David himself.
Her thoughts became incoherent as he let go of her hands and turned his attention to her breasts, and other, more intimate places. But this time, the position of his hands and lips were reversed: while he gently rolled and tugged one nipple with his fingertips, his mouth continued its path past her breasts, trailing down and down, straight to where she was aching for him the most.
Louisa sucked in a sharp breath. He can’t possibly mean to…?
But he did.
Gently pushing her legs apart, he pressed the softest of kisses to the top of her sex, the spot where she sometimes, late at night, allowed herself to touch. But this was a very different touch indeed, alternating between soft licks, swirls of the tip of his tongue, and short, hard sucks on that little nub.
Louisa was quite sure that, if she was not supposed to touch herself there, then what Jeremy was doing was probably beyond the pale. But she'd be damned if it was not the most amazing sensation she had ever felt.
A sea of sensation swept her away in a way she had never experienced, the waves cresting over her until it was only the feel of his hands on her hips, his hair clutched in between her fingers that anchored her and kept her from flying up and out of this world.
When she floated back down, Jeremy was pressing a kiss to her sweaty temple while his hands danced slow figures across her sensitive skin.
"I take it you're enjoying yourself?", he asked, smug smile indicating that he knew very well her answer would be a resounding Yes.
&nb
sp; Louisa laughed, embarrassment adding fresh layers of scarlet to her already-heated cheeks. "I am. But I am certain I should not be, for surely no lady ought to enjoy herself in such a manner."
She was joking, but not entirely – too deep ran her fear of being found lacking in virtue by the one person whose opinion she valued more than all others. But like all other aspects of her character, Jeremy was aware of that fear and ready to disperse it.
Rather than let her get away with feinted levity, he looked at her seriously.
"Promise me this, Louisa, that in the privacy of our bed, you will never be a duchess, nor I a duke. That between ourselves, we will only ever be ourselves, and not allow anybody to judge us.”
It was an almost sacrilegious suggestion, but he was right: She was already sick of being judged and did not want to act only in anticipation of such judgment. And with him, she need not do so.
Forcing her heavy arm to move, Louisa twined her hand around the back of her husband's head to pull him down for a long, slow, kiss. It took her a moment to understand that the unknown taste on his lips was, well, herself, and surely that was even more scandalous than anything she could ever have imagined.
Heart and body soaring with joy and fulfillment, Louisa pulled him close, her other hand sliding down the side of his chest to find the hem of his shirt and finally got rid of it.
"I promise." And pulling up the fine linen with such ferocity that she almost tore it in half, she growled, "Now come here and make me an honest woman."
Jeremy laughed. "I'm not sure it is this exact part of the marriage that is supposed to achieve that."
But despite his teasing, he shifted so that he was settled in between her legs, where she was slick and soft and aching for him.
"It is, however, the part I look forward to the most," Louisa announced with an impish smile and was rewarded for her cheek when Jeremy groaned and rocked his hips against hers.
Then there was no more time for jesting and teasing, for Jeremy kissed her, long and deep and slowly started to push inside her; pausing every so often to let her adjust to the near-painful tightness.
Nonetheless, with the help of slow, drugging kisses and gently roving hands, it was not long before she was completely relaxed and craved for him to move more vigorously.
A warmth spread throughout her that was much like the kind of bliss she had just experienced – only now she could reach up and pull him even closer, reveling in how completely he surrounded her.
She could let her hands wander all over his body and feel his muscles tighten with each thrust; could run her hand through his hair and hold him in place when he kissed her neck and the sensation amplified the feelings he was evoking further down her body. She could ignore the faint strains of pianoforte music drifting in through the open window in favor of listening to his harsh breaths and strangled groans as his thrusts got more urgent. He was climbing the same pinnacle she had reached earlier and was starting to climb once more herself, although at a much more leisurely pace than he.
Jeremy confirmed her suspicion not a moment later.
"I am afraid I will not last much longer, my love."
There was such regret in his voice that Louisa had to smile fondly. Haven’t I not had my fill of pleasure? And yet her husband seemed to worry about selling her short.
"Then don't. We have all our lives to continue this, do we not?"
He chuckled shakily, then buried his face in her neck to place a series of hot, wet kisses on her pulse that made her squirm.
It took no more than a few quick, irregular thrusts for him to reach his completion too, and Louisa held him close as he recovered, feeling his heartbeat race in his chest.
In the breathless silence that settled over them, Louisa thought, suddenly, of the concept of the marital duties – which, technically, they had both fulfilled admirably. But there had been nothing dutiful about the encounter, and Louisa felt an incredulous laugh bubble up in her throat. After years of listening fearfully to whispers of these marital duties, after worrying what exactly they might entail and whom she might be forced to carry them out with, this was the reality: Love and pleasure, and an eternity more of it to share with the most wonderful gentleman on earth.
No one came along requesting to see either of them for the whole morning, which was fortunate, because it was well past noon when Louisa finally slid on a morning robe, accepted a lingering kiss from her husband and rang for breakfast.
Epilogue
Things Fall Apart
Gilbert Notley was arrested a week to the day of Louisa’s wedding. He had tried to run and had been caught and dragged back to face justice by the Bow Street Runners. Americus and Louisa did not escape the stain of ignominy that followed.
She had been prepared for it, but it was still difficult to hear the comments when she walked down the street to go to the market or visit Betty. Jeremy insisted she take a carriage and a footman but that only seemed to make the comments worse.
Uncle Gilbert was meant to stand trial for his crimes but in an attempt to save himself from prison, had offered to confess, and give up the names of every one of his accomplices in exchange for being transported.
“In a way it is a relief. He can start a new life over there.” Louisa commented over tea and crumpets with her father and husband as well as her mother-in-law.
Jeremy snorted. “You’re too optimistic my dear. He’ll probably find new ways to break the law once he is there. Once a thief, always a thief.”
Louisa opened her mouth to protest but there was really no defense for Uncle Gilbert. He was released on his own recognizance and came home calling upon Americus and begging a bed to sleep on while he waited for his sentence.
“Why must you let him stay with you?” Jeremy complained to Americus. “You owe him nothing.”
Her father looked away. “I owe him everything.”
Louisa frowned. What could father possibly mean? As far as she knew, Uncle Gilbert had never given them a thing. She tried to catch her father’s eye, but he avoided hers. She looked to Jeremy, wondering if he knew what her father was hiding, but he seemed as puzzled as she was and exasperated too.
“Gilbert Notley is nothing but a user. He took advantage of all of us.” Jeremy said.
“I think it’s more complicated than that. Gilbert has always been unhappy. Always looking for something he could not quite find. It led him down some dark paths.” Her father said.
“What dark paths?” Louisa really wanted to know.
Her father sighed. “They are Gilbert’s secrets to tell.”
“Did you know what he was doing?” the Dowager Duchess asked.
“Of course not. I would not have stood by and watched him continue if I did,” her father protested.
“It is just that you don’t seem at all surprised.” The Dowager Duchess said.
“I am not. For I do know what he is capable of.”
* * *
Jeremy sat in his study and read through the Bow Street Runner’s report in horror. Nevertheless, he read it until the end before snapping the file closed and staring bleakly into the middle distance.
Shall I tell her?
He wanted to take the file and throw it in the fire. He wanted to pretend he had never seen it before in his life. But it was too late, he had seen, he had the knowledge in his head. He could not go back.
A soft knock on the door had him snapping his head up.
“Who is it?”
“It’s your wife,” she called in a playful voice, “may I come in?”
Jeremy closed his eyes and sighed with resignation. There was no way he could hide the knowledge from her. If she came in, she would know that something was afoot.
“Jeremy?”
“Yes, come in.”
She opened the door and poked her head in, smiling. “Are you busy, Your Grace?”
He smiled because he could not help it. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.”
“Nevertheless, may I com
e in?”
“Of course.”
She stepped into the room, stepping so lightly it was almost as if she walked on air. “Good afternoon. I haven’t seen you all day.”
He gestured at his desk. “I had lots of paperwork to do.”
She stopped smiling, really looking at him. “What’s wrong?”
He sighed, shaking his head and looking away from her. “Nothing. Nothing is wrong.”
“Jeremy…”
Tempting The Ruined Duke (Steamy Historical Regency Romance) Page 27