But this still didn’t feel like a proper answer. I used to believe Mum was on far-flung adventures, but now I knew that wasn’t true. Now every time I tried to write something to her I just thought of her in her Edinburgh flat, living a life without me. It made me feel all kinds of mixed-up emotions that I didn’t know how to explain.
“She just left us, she just disappeared,” I said, as tears began to fall furiously down my face.
“I know,” Da said, putting a big arm around me. “And I’m not going to tell you that was OK. I think even your mum knows that. But you know it’s all right to feel angry and sad and confused with someone and still love them too.”
“Is that how you feel about Mum?” I asked.
“Sometimes,” Da said.
I wondered if Da was secretly disappointed he had to stay on the island and look after me.
“Da,” I said looking up at him in the pale moonlight. “Didn’t you ever want to go on adventures with Mum?”
Da shook his head.
“Amelia, you are my greatest adventure,” and he looked at me with enough love to light a million stars.
I couldn’t help myself, I started sniffing and gulping and then the tears came all over again.
“And I promise you whenever you want, whenever you’re ready, I will help you write a letter to your mum,” Da said, as he wrapped his arms tight around me and pulled me into one of his almighty bear hugs.
There were lots more things I wanted to ask. And lots more things I knew Da wanted to tell me. But for once it didn’t matter that we didn’t have the right words, because all the important things had been said.
Chapter 37
It had been four months since we rowed out in The Bonny and I touched Serpent’s Tooth Rock. Nobody could forget the storm or the appearance of the Northern Lights that had followed it. Even those who hadn’t known what had happened told stories about it. But nobody at school apart from Tom knew the truth. How we had raised the rock and taken back my wish. Ever since that day my secret power had gone and I wasn’t sorry. Even standing in the great hall ready to read in the end-of-term assembly, I didn’t for one moment wish that I could disappear.
“Could everyone who is doing a reading please line up behind the stage,” Miss Rutherford called, waving her arms around like a conductor.
“Amelia Hester McLeod,” Miss Rutherford called.
I winced at hearing my full name.
“What possible reason do you have to be out of your line? Do you want to delay the entire assembly?”
“No, miss, I just need to go to the bathroom,” I lied.
“If we can teach puppies to control their bladders I will never understand why we can’t teach children. Very well, Miss McLeod, but make it quick.” Miss Rutherford nodded.
I darted off, ignoring Miss Archibald motioning at me from the stage. I could see Tom waving madly at me from the back of the hall.
“Is everyone here yet?” I asked him.
“Your da and grandpa are in the back row. But I haven’t seen the others,” Tom said.
My stomach churned. Even though I’d spent weeks writing my essay with Da, and rehearsing it over breakfast, I suddenly didn’t feel as confident as I had been in Hettie and Penny’s kitchen.
“Amelia, are you sure you want to do this? Because if not I have a plan to get you out of it. We just need tin foil, rubber gloves and a Bunsen burner…” Tom started.
But before I could hear any more of Tom’s plan, I was being called back to the stage. On my way over I saw Blair Watson flipping her recorder menacingly. I remembered that she was part of the musical demonstration that concluded the end-of-year assembly, but we both knew she didn’t know how to play. She had spent most of our music lessons copying Beth’s fingering and just pretending to blow into the recorder. She took her seat at the front of the assembly along with the rest of the musical section that included all the ponytail gang. That day their hair was done in complicated French braids and tied with magenta ribbons.
“You’re a dead woman walking,” Blair said, and she tried to trip me up with her recorder as I passed her on my way to the stage.
I got back into line just as everyone settled down in the great hall. The lights dimmed and Miss Rutherford’s bangles jangled up and down her arm as she stepped forward to introduce the assembly. Then Miss Iris stepped forward to talk about her class’s art project and show off the weird sculptures they had made. Followed by Mr Norris, who talked about the books and plays we had read this year. Then Chloe read out her essay, which was brilliant and somehow made A Midsummer Night’s Dream sound like it wasn’t the most boring play in the world. After everyone clapped, Miss Archibald appeared and started talking about our journal project. Backstage, I felt like I needed to pee and throw up both at once. I had never been so nervous. There were so many people out there and I knew Blair and the ponytail gang would be waiting for something horrible to happen to me. I even wished I had stuck around to hear more of Tom’s mad tinfoil and rubber glove plan. But before I knew it, Miss Archibald had called my name.
“Good luck,” Chloe said and gave my shoulder a friendly squeeze as she came off the stage and went to sit down in the empty seat next to Blair. I looked out at the sea of ribbons and felt even sicker.
As I stepped out on to the stage, Miss Archibald’s blue exercise book felt like it weighed as much as a Galapagos giant tortoise. I could barely open it as I took my place at the lectern stand.
“My Year of Disappearing,” I read out nervously into the microphone.
There was a little gasp of excitement and then the hall settled into quiet. Everyone stared up expectantly. Except for Blair, who whipped out her phone.
I tried to ignore her, but when I looked down at the page again all the letters seemed to swim about. I felt a shiver of panic as I looked out over the sea of expectant faces. I opened my mouth again. I knew what I wanted to say, but I could already see the words getting tangled up on the page.
“Oh my God, this is too good; either she’s going to disappear in front of the whole school or she’s going to wet her pants,” Blair stage-whispered loud enough so I could hear.
But then the doors of the hall burst open. Everyone turned around to see a whirl of handbags and umbrellas and long tartan skirts getting tangled up in the double doors.
“So sorry we’re late,” Hettie said, striding down the gangway. “We were unavoidably detained by a small dog trying to eat an entire wardrobe full of old shoes.”
“Did we miss it?” Penny asked.
“Amelia was just beginning and there are a couple of spare chairs at the back,” Mr McNair said.
“Oh no, I won’t be able to see anything from all the way back there!” Hettie said.
Both Hettie and Penny barged their way to the front, pushing children out of the way so they could get as close to the stage as possible. After a brief, noisy musical chairs, they ended up sitting right behind Blair.
“Where were we?” Miss Archibald said, taking the stand again and trying to quiet everyone down.
“Amelia was just freezing up…” Blair sniggered.
Then I saw a quick flash of something slip out of Hettie’s handbag. There was a loud snip and then Blair jumped up screaming. The whole assembly let out a scandalized “Ooooh!” But it took a moment for me to realize what had happened: Hettie had cut Blair’s ponytail clean off.
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” Blair roared, hopping from one foot to the other.
I could hear the collective creak of everyone leaning in to watch.
“I was just trying to trim my nails and my hand must have slipped,” Hettie said coolly.
“She did it on purpose!” Blair screamed.
“Oh no, Hettie’s just very clumsy. It’s what happens at our age, isn’t it, dear?” Penny said, doing her very best to keep a straight face.
Then something very odd happened. Blair burst into tears.
“I’m sure it will grow out!” Hettie called as Blair
sprinted howling from the hall.
“Settle down, settle down!” Mr McNair said, standing up, but it took a full five minutes and Miss Rutherford bellowing at everyone before the hall fell into quiet again.
“Are you ready to start again?” Miss Archibald asked
I looked down at my essay. The words bulged and jiggled and even without Blair there, I wasn’t sure I could get through it.
“If you wouldn’t mind, I think we would like to make just one more interruption,” Hettie said and Miss Archibald stepped aside as she clambered up on to the stage with Penny.
“How about we read this together,” Penny whispered in my ear as she put her finger on the word I needed next.
I looked out over the crowd again. But this time I spotted Grandpa and Tom giving double thumbs up and right beside them was Da, beaming and full of pride. I took a deep breath and in my loudest, bravest voice, I said:
“My name is Amelia Hester McLeod and this is the year I learned about wishes.”
Then Hettie burst into life talking about the myth of Serpent’s Tooth Rock. She was every bit as scary on stage as she had been when she tried to warn me that first time in my kitchen. And then Penny joined in, and before I knew it we were all telling the story together. Everyone laughed when Penny got overexcited pretending to be the storm and nearly fell off the stage and there was a large gasp when I told the part about me disappearing in the middle of the night. It didn’t seem to matter that some bits of my essay got left out and other bits got added in.
In fact, by the time we got to the night of the big storm, it felt like the whole room was waiting. Waiting for what came next. Hettie and Penny looked at me and nodded. I looked down at my essay. It had taken me ages to write the end; I had crossed it out and rewritten it with Da so many times that I knew it off by heart. But even so, I tucked the essay back into my blue book. Because it didn’t feel like it was just my story any more.
“Tom!” I called, squinting over the lights.
Tom sank down in the row at the back. But even squashed down in his seat, he was still heads and shoulders taller than everyone else.
“Tom!” me, Hettie and Penny chorused.
Reluctantly Tom stumbled his way to the front and climbed up on the stage.
“The thing is, it was Tom who saved the day,” I carried on. “He was the one who knew the magic words to say that would bring the Serpent’s Tooth Rock back.”
Tom blushed so hard that even the tips of his ears went bright red.
“Amelia, you know I’m not good at talking in front of people. I don’t want to get word vomit and mess up the end of your story,” he whispered.
“You trust me?” I asked.
Tom nodded and I handed him the microphone.
“Well it wasn’t all me. It’s just I knew what to do. But first we had to get to the Serpent’s Tooth Rock and all we had was an old rowing boat.”
Once Tom began, he couldn’t stop. But for the first time, it didn’t matter, because the whole assembly was listening to every word. Even when Tom got all squeaky and breathless telling the bit when the boat almost capsized, nobody laughed. And when it got to the end, Tom finally took a breather so I could describe the appearance of the Northern Lights in the sky as the storm faded away. How they had shone above us, brighter than we had ever seen them.
When it was over, I could feel how quiet the hall had grown. I could hear the ticking of the clock and Grandpa sniffing into a hanky. I could even hear my heart thudding in my chest. I wondered for an awful moment whether Blair’s horrible friends were going to point and laugh or if I was going to get a detention for doing the assembly all wrong. But then Da stood up and started clapping and everyone else joined in. Tom grinned and grabbed my hand and we took a ridiculous panto-style bow.
After the readings we were all led off the little stage to the room at the back. I couldn’t believe how many people wanted to come over to congratulate me. It felt like the whole school had something to say about my speech, even Chloe.
“I just wanted to say well done, Amelia. And I’m sorry I’ve been bit rubbish to you this year,” she said, awkwardly looking down at the floor
“I might have been bit rubbish to you in the past,” I said, thinking of all the mean things I had said to her after my mum left.
“Maybe we can try and be friends again?” she asked, pulling at her hair nervously.
For the first time I noticed she wasn’t wearing her purple ribbon. In fact, when I looked around, no one was any more. It was like seeing Blair cry had broken some awful spell.
After I’d said goodbye to Chloe and Tom, I made my way out to the reception where Da was waiting.
“Amelia, I just wanted to tell you that…” Da started as he rubbed his beard trying to find the right words, “that was really not bad, not bad at all.” I could see his eyes were shining with proud tears.
Then Miss Archibald appeared, clapping her hands together.
“Bravo, that was wonderful, Amelia. A bit more creative than I had expected, I must admit. But it was a really fantastic story. I’m so proud of you,” she said before she peered at me over her glasses.
“It was just a story though, wasn’t it? In the corridor after your fight with Blair I thought I saw…” Miss Archibald trailed off, knitting her brows together. “But I couldn’t have, could I?” she finished as she shook her head.
I opened my eyes as wide as I could to give my most innocent “I don’t know what you’re talking about” face.
Miss Archibald raised one of her thin rainbow eyebrows. But then she smiled.
“You have a very talented storyteller, Mr McLeod,” Miss Archibald said.
Da looked down at me. His face was beaming.
“Yes I do,” he said with a wink.
“I very much look forward to reading what you write next year,” Miss Archibald said before she headed off to the great hall again.
Da put his arm around my shoulder as we walked down the corridor and into the sunshine outside.
Chapter 38
On the morning of my twelfth birthday, I was standing in the harbour wearing mismatched wellies and holding a lobster. This is exactly how birthdays should start.
It was so early that the stars were still out, but I didn’t mind. It was as if the sky had put up fairy lights just for me. Me and Da clambered into the newly repaired boat. We hadn’t been on the water together since the night of the storm. Da nervously rubbed his freshly shaved face.
“I miss my da the yeti,” I said, grinning.
“I wanted to remember what my chin looked like,” Da said, grinning back.
I suspected the lack of beard had less to do with Da’s chin and more to do with Miss Archibald, who had been making more and more excuses to talk to Da about my “progress” at school.
“Come on, Pip,” I said with a whistle.
Pipi eyed the boat suspiciously before leaping and landing inside with a thud. Pipi had got a lot bigger over the summer. It probably had to do with all our visits to Hettie and Penny’s. There always seemed to be tea and cake and, for some strange reason, bacon. Pipi stuck her cold nose under my armpit and we set off.
The light came up fast as we sailed out of the harbour. The days were getting brighter and brighter. But Serpent’s Tooth Rock loomed larger than ever. When the boat rocked to a standstill in its shadow, Da rubbed his big furrowed brow.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.
I nodded my head. It had been nearly four months since I last disappeared, but I still had one thing left to do.
“Can we do presents first?” Da said.
I grinned and nodded and Da pulled out three of the most beautifully wrapped presents I had ever seen. When he saw my shocked face, he flushed pink.
“Hettie and Penny helped with all this,” he said, pointing to the bows and ribbons and sparkly paper. Pipi helped me unwrap the first by tearing through the paper with her teeth. I had to put the bow on her head to stop he
r. Her big eyes rolled up to stare at it, as she thumped her tail with approval.
“It looks good on you, Pip,” Da said as he laughed.
I let a book slip from the torn wrapping paper. It was the old fairy tale book from the bookshop. The Myths of Dark Muir gleamed in gold letters.
“Tom helped me find all the rest of the book and we got Mr Sinclair from the bookshop to glue it back together,” Da said. I flicked through it, remembering the dark scary forests and the brightly lit sea caves and the strange stone circle. All the places on the island I had disappeared to over the year.
“Do you like it?” Da asked.
I nodded. I didn’t know what to say. This was the first time I had ever liked a book without facts.
“Maybe you can read me some of the stories. As long as none of them come true,” he winked as he passed me another present. I unwrapped it to reveal a yellow book with gold-edged pages and a red ribbon bookmark.
“It’s a journal. I thought it was about time for a new one,” Da said.
I smoothed my hand over the soft cover. It was much nicer than my old exercise book and this time I was looking forward to writing in it. In fact, I was looking forward to writing all sorts of stories in it. Miss Archibald had been so impressed by my story I told in the assembly that she signed me up for her special creative writing group. And even though I still liked lists and facts and things that didn’t have confusing full stops, it was quite fun writing stories when you had help. Plus, Tom had already promised to do all the pictures.
Then he passed me a familiar small red box. Inside was Mum’s compass. But the glass had been fixed. The gold case no longer had a dent in it and on the back, engraved under Mum’s initials, were my own. Da picked it up by the new gold chain and slipped it over my neck.
“Just in case you ever get lost again,” Da said.
But I knew I didn’t need any help finding home. Not any more.
When I looked up again, Da nervously passed me a thick envelope. I recognized Mum’s scratchy handwriting right away and my heart leaped. Earlier that summer, just as Da had promised, he had helped me finally find the right words to put in a letter to Mum. And I had waited for one in return ever since.
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