by Rachel Lacey
That was a little bit sad, but also beautiful. “Well, now you can take me with you whenever you want to go look at art.”
Eve gave her a sly look. “Art galleries are a surprisingly good place to pick up women.”
“Really?” Josie laughed. “Well, don’t do that anymore, okay?”
Eve’s expression shuttered as they both realized the door Josie had inadvertently opened. Were they still casually hooking up, or was this something more serious? Josie had drawn her own conclusions, but they’d never had a conversation about it, and now, maybe it was time that they did.
“I know we agreed to keep things casual,” she said. “But I guess I just assumed…I mean, can we be an exclusive kind of casual?”
Eve softened. “I haven’t been with anyone else since we’ve been together, and I wasn’t planning on it. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Okay, then.” Josie couldn’t help her smile or the relief swelling inside her. “No picking up women in art galleries for either of us.”
Eve laughed softly. “Fair enough.”
They finished their meal and walked outside. Josie was quiet, letting Eve take the lead. She’d texted Kaia earlier and asked her to stop by and feed the kittens, so she was obligation-free if Eve wanted to take advantage of it. But maybe, especially after Josie had just pressed her on their relationship, she would want to maintain the status quo and head back to Josie’s for the night.
Eve called an Uber for them, although Josie didn’t see what address she’d entered into the app. They were quiet while they waited, but Eve threaded her fingers with Josie’s as they stood together on the sidewalk.
Their car arrived, and they climbed in. It was almost immediately obvious that they were headed toward the East Village, not Brooklyn, which meant they were on their way to Eve’s apartment, and suddenly, Josie’s stomach was filled with butterflies. She wasn’t sure why, but this felt like a big deal, one more step into Eve’s private world.
Twenty minutes later, their Uber pulled up in front of a sleek high-rise apartment building that was almost exactly like what Josie had pictured in her head when she imagined where Eve lived. She smiled a little as she slid out of the car.
“Wait.” She rested a hand on Eve’s shoulder. “Before we go in, will you show me the trash can where you found them?”
Eve nodded, leading her around the corner. She gestured to one of the large city-managed bins. There were thousands like it all over Manhattan. “The police never made any progress finding out who dumped them in there.”
“Not surprising, unfortunately,” Josie said. “They’re awfully lucky you found them.”
She followed Eve to the front of her building, exchanging greetings with the doorman as they walked inside. The lobby was modern, with black marble floors and gray painted walls, a world apart from the decades-old brick and wood in Josie’s building. They stepped into the elevator, which took them to the eighth floor.
Eve let them into an apartment on the front side of the building, standing back and gesturing Josie in ahead of her. She walked into a small but well-appointed living room. More gray-painted walls with hardwood floors stained so dark they looked almost black. That was where the similarity with the lobby ended, though.
Eve’s living room was sleek and modern, yet comfortably lived in. Maybe because she hadn’t expected to have company tonight, she’d left a throw blanket tossed over one side of the couch, a notebook and a mug on the coffee table. The walls, as expected, boasted an impressive selection of art, a mixture of black-and-white photography and colorful abstract paintings. Josie walked slowly around the room, taking it all in. The paintings added warmth and personality to the room that would have otherwise been lacking.
On the other side of the room, there was a small galley kitchen and a door that probably led to the bedroom. Josie peeked through, finding that Eve made her bed every morning whether she expected company or not, but the thin cotton gown she’d slept in last night was tossed over the end of the bed. Josie wandered to the dresser, having noticed photos there, while Eve lingered in the doorway.
But as Josie got a closer look at the photos, she saw that they were all of Eve with another woman. And not just any woman. These were pictures of Eve and her wife. With a horrible sinking feeling, Josie realized she’d overstepped. She shouldn’t have just barged into Eve’s bedroom without an invitation.
Was this why Eve had initially balked at the idea of coming to her place tonight? She’d known what Josie hadn’t…that she would see these photos. And by bringing her here, she’d allowed it to happen.
Josie looked at her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s fine,” Eve said quietly from the doorway. “Go on and look.”
Josie blinked moisture from her eyes as she turned toward the photos. She saw Eve and Lisa at a Pride event with a rainbow flag wrapped around their shoulders, kissing for the camera. A wedding photo sat beside it. Eve wore a stunning white dress, with a snug lace bodice and a loose skirt that billowed behind her as she gazed adoringly at her wife. Lisa was a beautiful woman, with wildly curly brown hair and a radiant smile. She wore a white suit, one arm wrapped tightly around Eve’s waist.
Josie’s gaze fell on the next photo, and the bottom dropped out of her stomach. Eve’s hands rested on Lisa’s belly, which was obviously rounded. They’d been expecting a baby. Had Lisa been pregnant when she died? “Oh God,” she whispered as she turned to look at Eve.
Eve kept her gaze on the floor, but Josie could feel the tension radiating from her all the way across the room.
“Eve…”
Eve shook her head, bracing a hand against the doorframe.
Josie walked to her and rested a hand on her shoulder, unsure what to say. She felt Eve’s breath hitch, saw her jaw clench before she turned her face resolutely away from Josie’s gaze. She was trying not to cry in front of her, and that broke Josie in a way nothing else Eve had shared with her ever had.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, wiping away a tear of her own.
When Eve finally faced her, her eyes were dry, but they gleamed suspiciously bright. “Well, now you know.” Her voice was hoarse.
“You lost them both in the crash?”
Eve nodded, and Josie had a vivid image of her in that wrecked car, trying desperately to save Lisa and their unborn child as their lives drained away. Josie knew—on some level, at least—what that felt like. She’d held her father as his blood soaked her clothes, as his eyes went glassy and the last breath escaped his lips.
Eve had fractured her back in that crash. What must that pain have been like, on top of everything else?
Tears spilled over Josie’s eyelids as she wrapped her arms around Eve, drawing her close. “You’ve lost so much…too much. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Don’t cry for me,” Eve whispered against her neck.
Josie swiped at her cheeks. “Someone should.”
Eve didn’t respond, but she hugged Josie back, holding on to her, and that meant more than any words she could have said. Maybe that was the moment Josie fell in love with her, or maybe it had already happened. Somewhere along the line, she’d fallen for this beautifully broken woman, and now she could only hope that at some point in the future, Eve would find the strength to love her back.
25
The first thing Eve registered was the scent of Josie’s shampoo. She rolled toward her, recognizing the silky slip of her own sheets against her skin, not the soft cotton of Josie’s. And something was buzzing. What was that? Her eyes sprang open as she remembered last night. Having Josie in her bed felt wrong, but at the same time…right.
She’d never shared this room with Lisa, but her memory seemed alive here anyway. This was where Eve kept her photos, where she lay awake at night missing her. On the rare occasion she’d brought a woman here, she put the photos away first and made the room as impersonal as the rest of her apartment.
Josie had seen every dark corner
of Eve’s mind now. She knew all her secrets, all her pain, and that was vaguely terrifying, because Eve had never meant to let herself get this close to anyone again. She couldn’t give her heart to Josie, or anyone else. She’d already given away all her spare pieces. If she lost any more, she’d never survive it.
And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to walk away. Not yet, anyway. Last night, Josie had called their relationship “an exclusive kind of casual,” and Eve could live with that. Surely in a few weeks, she and Josie would have tired of each other. Actually, she couldn’t imagine ever tiring of Josie, but that was a problem for another day.
It was still dark outside, earlier than she usually woke. And now that she was fully awake, she realized the faint buzzing sound in her bedroom was the alarm on Josie’s phone, the one she’d set to wake herself to go home and care for the kittens. The clock on the bedside table read four a.m.
Eve smiled into the darkness, marveling at Josie’s never-ending dedication to those little cats. She nudged her, and Josie mumbled grumpily in her sleep. “Your alarm is going off,” she whispered.
Josie groaned, squinting at her. She blinked groggily for a few seconds before sitting up and shutting off her alarm. “Sorry for waking you.”
“It’s okay. Sure they can’t wait another hour?” Eve asked as she brushed Josie’s hair back to place a kiss against the tender skin on her neck.
Josie pulled her in for a kiss that made Eve think she’d indeed changed her mind about leaving, but then she disentangled herself and climbed out of bed. “I wish they could, but I really have to go.”
Eve nodded, tucking the sheet around herself.
“We’ll figure out a way to see each other this week, though, okay?” Josie said as she pulled on her clothes. “I’m not sure what or how, but we’ll think of something.”
“Okay,” Eve told her. “How are you getting home?”
“In an Uber?” Josie said, giving her a funny look. “I’m not very fond of the subway at this hour.”
“And I’m not very fond of the idea of you riding off alone with a stranger in the middle of the night.”
“I’ll be fine,” Josie told her. “I put people in cabs all the time at four a.m. when they leave my bar.”
That was Josie, as trusting as Eve was cautious. “Send me a screenshot with the vehicle information, just in case.” She rolled her eyes at Josie’s amused look. “Humor me. And text me when you get home.”
“All right,” Josie said with a smile. “If it makes you feel better.”
She leaned in for one more kiss, and then she was gone. Eve lay there, blinking up at the ceiling, determined not to fall asleep until she knew Josie was home safely. Although by then, it would be almost time for her to get up anyway, so she might as well just get up now.
Decision made, she slid out of bed, put on her robe, and went into the kitchen to start some coffee. Her phone buzzed with a text from Josie, a screenshot from the Uber app with the information about her driver.
Thank you, she texted back.
She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat on the couch, sipping it. When she’d finished, she did her morning yoga, and then, once Josie had texted to say she’d made it home, Eve hopped in the shower to get ready for her day.
She didn’t see Josie again until Wednesday, when they had lunch together.
“Do you think I’m doing well enough to add an extra shift for one of my bartenders?” Josie asked as they ate sandwiches across from each other in a deli down the street from Eve’s office.
“How do you mean?” she asked.
“Like, letting Lauren work an extra shift with Adam on Friday night so I could take it off.” She gave Eve a meaningful look.
“Oh. Well, I’d have to take another look at your numbers, but I think so, yes.”
“Okay, I’m going to talk to her about it tonight,” Josie said. “It might stretch me a little thin, but it’s just one shift, and I need a break. I feel like I’m always working, and we hardly ever see each other, except in the middle of the night or on Mondays.”
“It’s fine, Josie.” Eve wouldn’t be the reason for Josie’s stress. She shouldn’t be the reason for Josie’s anything. “I understand if you need a break, but we see each other plenty.”
“I haven’t had a night off that wasn’t a Monday in close to a year, except for those few days when the bar was closed for renovations. I just want to be able to get at least a little bit of my old life back.”
Eve sipped her water. That was an odd thing for Josie to say. “Your old life?”
“I never planned to own a bar, remember?” Josie picked at her sandwich. “I’m grateful every day that I was able to save it, but I miss being able to go out on a Friday night too.”
“Fair enough. So hire Lauren to cover the shift for you, then.”
“Planning to.” She grinned at Eve. “On a related note, if you have plans on Friday, cancel them, because we’re going out.”
“All right.”
Josie began to eat again with gusto, a sparkle in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. Maybe she needed this night off more than Eve had realized. She did work a lot of hours at the bar. Many restaurant and bar owners did the same, but most of them had chosen that life for themselves. As Josie had just reminded her, she hadn’t.
They finished their meal and walked outside.
“Text me about Friday?” Eve said.
Josie leaned in for a searing kiss. “Yep. See you then.”
“You are my new favorite person right now,” Josie told Lauren on Thursday evening as they worked together behind the bar.
Lauren laughed. “We can make this a regular thing if you want. I could use the hours.”
“Yeah?” Josie glanced at her. Fridays off? Could it really be that easy? Maybe it could. And maybe, within the next year or so, she’d be able to afford another full-time bartender. She could run things behind the scenes and fill in as needed without spending every waking minute here in the bar.
She could get back to rescuing kittens, rebuild her YouTube following, go out with Eve whenever she wanted to. These were end-game goals, and they felt more tangible than they ever had before. She could really do this. She was doing it right now.
“I have to run some numbers,” Josie told Lauren, “but you’re on for tomorrow, and I’ll let you know next week if we can make it a regular thing, okay?”
“Sounds good to me,” Lauren told her.
They worked together for the next hour or so as the Thursday-night crowd began to thin. A little after midnight, Lauren said, “I could close up for you tonight, if you want to start your day off a little early.”
“What?” Josie paused in the middle of mixing a drink.
“I can finish up by myself. There are only a handful of people left in here.” Lauren gestured around the mostly empty bar.
It was true. Josie had tended bar alone with five times this many customers, not that it had been an ideal situation. Dragonfly closed in an hour and a half. It was basically the same as what she’d done with Adam last week, and that had been fine. Lauren was still new, but she’d been consistently competent and responsible.
Josie nodded. “Yeah, you know what? I think you’re ready to close.”
Lauren beamed at her.
Josie spent the next few minutes running her through the process, although Lauren seemed to already have it down, having watched and helped Josie close over the last two weeks. “Feel free to text me if you have any questions or need help with anything. I’ll just be right upstairs.”
“I’ll be fine,” Lauren told her. “I closed all the time at the last bar I worked at.”
“I trust you,” Josie told her with a smile. “Okay, I’m leaving. Thank you.”
Lauren waved her off, and Josie headed for the stairs that led to her apartment. It was twelve thirty on a Thursday night, and she was off work until Saturday at five. The prospect was intoxicating. She almost texted Eve to see if she wanted to come
over, but while this might not be late for Josie, it was for Eve, who had to be at the office in the morning. She was probably already asleep.
Josie let herself into her apartment and spent a while playing with the kittens. They were eating solid food almost exclusively now and using the litter box independently. Josie still had to prepare wet food for them every six hours, but it was worlds easier than bottle feeding.
She messed around with them for longer than she probably should have, but she was still in bed earlier than usual. When she woke the next morning, she took her time feeding and playing with the kittens and even recorded a new video for her YouTube channel, documenting their progress. She didn’t earn nearly as much from it as she used to, but it still brought in a little bit of money.
She went out to run some errands, grabbing lunch while she was at it. When she got back to her building, she peeked into the bar to make sure all was well after Lauren closed last night. Chairs were neatly stacked, dishes run, the floor swept.
Good job, Lauren.
Josie went into her office and sat behind her desk, looking at the balance sheet for the last month. Realistically, adding one extra shift for Lauren didn’t cost her that much. She could do this. She added Lauren’s name to the schedule on Fridays.
Done.
Giddy, she texted Eve. Consider me a free woman on Fridays, effective today.
Congratulations, Eve replied. I should be able to leave early this afternoon. Want me to meet you at your place?
Yes. Can’t wait to see you.
Josie jogged upstairs, feeling light as air. She re-dyed her hair to match her mood and took a long, hot shower, then spent a half an hour blow drying and curling it. Tonight, she wanted to look as good as she felt, and that was pretty damn good. She’d made reservations for herself and Eve at one of her favorite restaurants, and then they were going to visit a trendy rooftop bar in Midtown. She really did enjoy going to bars where she didn’t work, where she could sit and sip a drink for fun.