Can't Fight This Feeling (Indigo Royal Resort Book 1)

by Claire Hastings

  “Unless you want to do something different, my idea had been to just hang. We can just lie in the sun, maybe go for a swim, play truth or dare, whatever you want.”

  “Truth or dare?” she asked, laughing. “Just what kind of dares are we gonna do on the boat, just us?”

  He stood there with a puzzled look on his face, obviously having not thought this part out.

  “Well, I had been joking, but give me time and I’ll figure it out!”

  “Will you now?” she said, mischievously. “Then truth or dare is most certainly on the to-do list.”

  The morning had been peaceful and warm, just the way Kyle felt it should always be in the islands. He’d finally gotten a little bit of sleep, somehow letting his worries about how to make everything work take a back seat in his brain for a bit. However, when the sun came up, so was he, unable to force his body to rest any more. He hadn’t wanted to wake Drea—she needed the rest. She felt so damn perfect curled up next to him, making him wonder again what he did to deserve having someone like her. The little cooing noises she made in her sleep made her that much more endearing, and it wasn’t just his morning wood that stirred.

  His heart felt like it could explode every time he looked at her, and he wondered how he got here so quickly. There had always been a deep connection between them, and from the moment he arrived in St. Thomas they had been a pair. Drea pulled him into her circle and they had built their friendship on the basis of laughter, trust, and a love of sailing. But now, it went so much deeper than that friendship. He craved her. It wasn’t just the sex, although being with her physically was a mind-blowing experience, and he looked forward to giving her a number of other firsts. But it didn’t seem to matter what they were doing, he wanted to be with her. He wanted to be able to hold her hand, make her laugh, and most importantly, make her feel safe and loved.

  As he had gotten the sails ready this morning and navigated them back in the direction of St. Thomas, he tried to make sense of all his feelings. If he knew anything, it was that he’d never felt this way before about another human being, and he couldn’t exactly put his finger on what it was. He felt like they had been together forever, not just a few days, although the five years of friendship they had under their belts might have contributed to that feeling. He just knew that the idea of a life without Drea made him want to throw up.

  A distraction was desperately needed, but he didn’t know how to take his mind off of all of it. Usually one of the things he loved the most about being out on the water was that he was alone with his thoughts and the open air helped clear his head. Not today, though. Today the open air only filled his head with thoughts of Drea. Thoughts of a life with her, the two of them holing up in that little cottage of hers, making it theirs, of her in a white dress on the beach, her wild curls waving in the sea breeze, of her tummy prominent and round with their baby, of growing old and gray with her. These were the thoughts that would get him in even more trouble though. He needed to try to focus on something more superficial, like how just the thought of her amazing curves made him instantly hard.

  They’d already checked off a number of things he’d imagined doing with her, and all of them had been better than he had ever thought possible. He’d never been like Dalton where sex was just another physical activity—he’d always had to have some kind of connection to the other person. But the last couple of days had been something else. Everything about Drea set his nerve endings on fire and even something as simple as feeling her lips against his had sent all the blood in his body rushing to his dick. Yet there was still so much more he wanted to do with her, both in bed and out. He wanted to give her the world.

  She was back up at the front of the boat, wearing that itty-bitty red bikini again. When he had said that it was all he wanted her to pack, he was only kidding, but he loved that even if she had packed another suit, she’d chosen to only wear this. He loved seeing her this comfortable, not only in her own body, but in their relationship. It had to be a good sign that she was back in that suit. Maybe he would get to recreate the action from the booze cruise after all.

  After dropping the anchor and lowering the sails, he moved to the front of the boat to join her.

  “Ready for truth or dare?” he asked as he sat down next to her on the trampoline.

  She put her book down and looked at him skeptically. “Did you figure out how dares are gonna work?”

  “No,” he admitted. “I thought about truth or shots, but we should probably be responsible sailors and not get wasted.” She nodded. “So, then I thought truth or strip.”

  “Truth or strip? So if I don’t want to answer something, I have to take off a piece of clothing?”

  “That had been the idea until I thought it through a little more and realized we’re both in swimsuits.”

  “Good call.” She winked.

  “Not that I don’t want to get you naked,” he said, waggling his eyebrows.

  “You don’t need a teenage game of truth or dare for that!” she laughed, making her boobs jiggle in the process. He watched as they moved freely in the loosely tied bikini top, imagining what he would do if one just popped out.

  “Good to know. Anything else I should know?” he winked.

  She giggled, shaking her head from side to side, making those wild corkscrew curls of hers go flying. “I’m an open book, you can ask me anything. I don’t have anything to hide.”

  “Me either.”

  “Good, then you can go first.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Kyle wasn’t sure what to say. Conversation had always come easy to the two of them, but then again, silence had never been awkward either. Not that it was now, as he sat here trying to rack his brain for something to share. What could he possibly share that she didn’t know?

  “You’re supposed to ask me a question,” he said, trying to make up for his lack of prepared topics.

  “I was thinking! I was trying to make it really good,” she swatted at him. He dodged her contact, but only barely, laughing at her getting all flustered. “Tell me what you remember most about your dad.”

  “That he was never around?”

  She furrowed her brows at him, looking almost disappointed that that had been his answer.

  “Seriously, he wasn’t around much. He was a drug officer for the Coast Guard, it was a big job, and it kept him away a lot. He was a great dad from what I could tell. He came to my games and school events and stuff. But what I remember most was that it was a big deal that he made it to those. I’d like to think that if he had lived, that he would have been around more as I got older, and that we would have done more father-son stuff, but he was gone just after I turned six so I never got the chance to find out.”

  “Do you miss him?”

  “Yes, but not the same way I think you miss your parents. I can’t explain why, but I think that maybe since he wasn’t around much before, that it was easier to accept that he wasn’t ever going to be around again.”

  “But don’t you feel like you were robbed?”

  “Sometimes. But my mom did a great job in making sure that I didn’t miss out on anything. We had this old neighbor, Mr. Willett, who had lost his wife a couple of years before my dad died, so my mom used to ask him to do ‘man things’ with me,” he said, using the air quotes around the words man things. “He had this boat that he was constantly fixing up, in fact I’m not entirely sure the thing ever actually worked. But he taught me about boats and mechanics and all that. Mr. Willett passed when I was in college, when he was ninety-three. Losing him was rough.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said. The look of sadness in her eyes consumed Kyle as he took her in. She felt everything so deeply, and even though she’d never met the old man, he knew that she was heartbroken over his death simply because Kyle had been.

  “Do you ever wish you’d had a normal childhood?” he asked.

  She went to answer and then paused. “You know, I’ve never really thought about it. Even if
my parents hadn’t passed, I still would have grown up on the resort. Maybe my mom and aunt would have enforced a little more normal kid stuff, but I don’t feel like I ever really missed out. I still had birthday parties, and learned how to ride a bike. Okay, so learning how to cook was on an industrial stove and I have been driving a golf cart since I was seven, but my uncles always took off work for Christmas, so Santa still came to visit. Uncle Miller made sure that my experience was as normal as he thought it could be considering the situation. In his mind, he was a single dad, and he took on the majority of the parenting load. Although Uncle Vaughn and Uncle Gray were always right there to help, so I’m sure that was a relief. But that also meant I had multiple parent-types enforcing the rules. So, I was still forced to do my homework before I could go out and play, and you know that I had a very strictly enforced curfew. I was like pretty much any other kid on the island.”

  “I guess I just have a hard time imagining growing up on the island.”

  “I’m sure that growing up in the States is very different. But I think if the only thing that had been different about my situation was that we had been in the States rather than St. Thomas, then not much would have changed. Each one of my uncles would have taken on the same role, it just might have looked a little different. But, really, I loved the childhood I had. I really have nothing to complain about.”

  “Other than maybe that curfew,” Kyle laughed.

  “Ugh. Uncle Miller was the one who put it in place, but I don’t know that he ever really cared, as long as I was home by a reasonable time and he knew where I was. He knew his kid, and he knew I wasn’t going to get into that much trouble. As I’m sure you can imagine, it was Uncle Vaughn who was the stickler about it. One time, knowing that Leona and I were going to be out way later than allowed, I set all the clocks back by like three hours in each one of the big house apartments so that it looked like I came home on time. Next morning I thought I woke up late, because the clock read what I thought was like three hours behind. Turns out, Uncle Gray had gone and changed them all back after I got home so that I wasn’t found out.”

  “I have a new respect for the man.”

  “Right? Teenage Drea thought about changing them to get away with it, but it never occurred to her that she’d have to change them back.” She shook her head, laughing at the memory. “I only found out it was Uncle Gray who did it because after I rushed out to the common room, he was sitting there waiting for me. He just laughed, told me what he did and that it would be our secret. And you know what, now that I think about it, I don’t know if he ever told the other two or not.”

  “He strikes me as the type that would take such a thing to the grave.”

  “Unless you tickle it out of him. Don’t let him know I told you, but tickling is his weakness.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind, should I ever need to tickle my boss.”

  “He won’t be your boss forever, though, right?” she asked, hesitantly. He could tell she didn’t want to push the issue.

  “That’s my plan.”

  “What makes you want to go out on your own so bad? You don’t hate working at the resort, do you?”

  “Not at all. Working for your family has been one of the best experiences of my life. But I have always dreamed of being my own boss—making my own schedule and doing things how I want to do them. I have all these ideas, and I want to try to make them into realities.”

  “Why don’t you just talk to Uncle Gray about them? I know he’s been looking to have someone take over the marina and boat excursions. You’d be perfect!”

  “He offered me that role about three months ago, actually.”

  “And you turned it down?”

  “Not turned it down, per se. Just told him I’d need time to think about it. He told me that he’d give me all the time I needed.”

  “But the answer is going to be thanks, but no thanks?”

  “Unless something changes, yes. One, I don’t want to force my ideas on him. It’s still his baby. I saw firsthand how that goes at the marina I worked at in Florida. It doesn’t end well when they are no longer in control. But I want to be able to work with the cruise ships for day tours, as well as people who are staying on the island at a rental house or something rather than a resort. Maybe even run a discounted tour or two once a month for locals who work in the tourism industry who don’t get to do the fun things all these visitors get to.”

  “That sounds like a great idea. I really think you should talk to Uncle Gray. He values your opinion.”

  “I know,” he sighed. “And I know he wants to expand into more adventure-type things, which is why he needs someone to take over the boats, but I still don’t feel that I would be able to do everything I want to. Every idea I have would still be subject to the approval of your uncles.”

  “That’s fair,” she said, resigning herself to his answer. “What’s number two?”

  “You.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes, you. If I’m out on my own, we can be together.”

  “Aren’t we together now?”

  “I mean really together. Out and proud together. Not worried Kyle might lose his job together,” he said, referring to himself in the third person. “Our relationship would be one less thing that would be subject to their approval, at least where the resort was concerned.”

  He knew he sounded like a broken record. But he also knew that regardless of how much her uncles liked him as an employee and her friend, accepting him as her boyfriend would be another thing entirely. It would be an uphill battle all of its own, and one he was only prepared to fight if he had a way to support her that wasn’t dependent on the resort.

  “I was really a consideration?” she asked. It hadn’t been what he expected her to say, so it caught him a little off guard.

  “Yes, of course. You have been for a very long time, sweetness. I have wanted you since the moment you showed up at the dock that day in Florida.”

  Drea could feel her cheeks blush with his admission. She had no idea that he’d felt those same sparks she had that day. For years now she’d convinced herself that she was imagining it.

  Letting his words sink in, she looked out over the deep blue waters that surrounded them. The sun sparkled off the top of the waves as the boat slowly rolled along them. The feel of the boat rocking underneath them was calming, as if lulling them into the deep conversation. A smile crept up her face, even though she was suddenly feeling shy about it. She looked away so Kyle couldn’t see her reaction.

  “No response?” he asked. “Shy Drea is not one I’m used to.”

  She turned back so he could see her face and the smile stretched across it. “Sorry, I just feel a little awkward sometimes when you say things like that.”

  “Like what? That I want you?”

  “And other things. I love hearing them, but I don’t know how to react to how it makes me feel.”

  “And just how does it make you feel?” he asked slowly, drawing out the words.

  “All mushy inside,” she said, as if she were embarrassed by it.

  “Kinda like how you feel when you read those smutty books of yours?” he teased.

  “Don’t you mock my books!” She picked hers up and pretended to hit him with it. “But to answer your question, sorta? The books give me the warm fuzzies and make me all swoony—”

  “Swoony? Is that a word?” he asked, cutting her off.

  “It is now. So, they make me all swoony, and when you get all perfect-boyfriend-y, it’s like that, but, like, times a hundred. My insides kinda melt, and I don’t know what to say.”

  “So I make you melty?”

  “Now who’s making up words?” she mocked.

  He laughed a deep, whole-body laugh that made her tingle inside. It didn’t seem to matter what he did, she was a goner. It had started that day in Florida for her as well, and she wanted to tell him that, but she was more than a little afraid she’d come off sounding a little crazy.

 
“Enough about my melty insides. Next question.”

  “What do you want to be when you grow up?” he asked her.

  The question was simple, and she loved how he had worded it the same way you would ask someone who was five. She didn’t know why she thought it was cute when he said it, since had it been her uncles it would have only pissed her off. Maybe it was because she knew that Kyle respected her as a woman who could make her own choices. It was a question she’d been asked a lot as a child. Week after week, guests would come to the resort and see the precious little girl running about, following her uncles around or helping out some of the staff. Some would ask her just the way Kyle just had. Some would change the wording around to ask if she wanted to take over the Indigo Royal, but the focus had been the same. The questions stopped somewhere around high school, about the time she started to blend in and look as if she were just another staff member, rather than a real life Eloise.

  “You really want to know?”

  “I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.”

  “What I really, really want to do is put a spa into the Indigo Royal.”

  “We have a spa.”

  “No, we offer massages and mani/pedis and call it a spa,” she corrected him.

  “Okay, so, stupid man question—is that not the same?”

  She sighed. It was pretty much the exact reaction she was expecting. Not only from him, but from pretty much anyone. The term “spa” had come to have a wide variety of definitions and to many, it often boiled down to a few key treatments being offered some place. But just a few pampering-type options wasn’t what Drea had in her head.

  “No, not really. I’m talking all out. Different types of massages, nail salon, hair salon, makeup application, body treatments, baths, whirlpools, saunas, steam rooms. Maybe bring in a reflexologist and offer different specialty items. I don’t want it to be just something guests do while on vacation. I want the spa to be the reason they’re on vacation.”

  “Is that a thing?”