by Calin, Ana
“Friends,” I whisper, and the word hurts. No, I want to cry out, I don’t want to be your friend, I want to be your lover, I want you to crush me under that beautiful body of yours on this five-star king size bed. Instead I let a smile quiver on my face and say, “Yes.”
He smiles back, a clumsy smile. Maybe I’m the first person he’s smiled for in a long time. I don’t think I’ve seen him have fun before, even though I’ve heard him laugh in his room a few times with his brothers, or in Arianna’s and Drago’s kitchen during our dinners there.
“Would you like to take a bath before I do?” he asks, and I nod.
Conan
I GET THE FEELING JANINE is more relaxed at dinner, but she still eats in silence, not looking at me. Ever since she and I met she’s been tense, which is natural. I invaded her privacy completely. Then she began feeling attracted to me, which made things more difficult for her. I understand better than she thinks.
“I hope you’re not upset with me,” I break the silence. “I didn’t mean to be a jerk about, you know, it. It’s just that—”
“You don’t want to imprint on anyone, I get it,” she says gently, then she looks at me for the first time since our talk up in the room. “But tell me. If I were a normal woman, not a Fated Female, would you sleep with me?”
The way she stares at me out of those intelligent cobalt blue eyes, the way her shiny blonde bob frames her heart-shaped face, it keeps my eyes glued to her. She’s wearing pink lipstick that showcases the pretty shape of her lips with her delicate Cupid’s bow, and her little black dress offers an enticing view into her cleavage.
I guess it’s safe to admit at least to myself that I love the shape of Janine Kovesi’s body. She’s of medium height for most people but small for me even in her high heels, and has the delicate body of a dancer. She has thin, beautifully shaped legs, and delicate wrists and ankles, which I’m discovering that I love. Everything about her marks her as noble, lady-like.
“I don’t know what to say,” I manage as I pull away from the emotions. “I haven’t been a monk so far, and I don’t intend to become one in the future but let me put it this way. I haven’t been with a woman since I became your bodyguard. You’ve had my entire attention, and you will have it until both the threat of the serpents and of other werewolf packs is eliminated.”
“That will be a long time.”
Piano notes flow through the hotel restaurant, and romantic evening lights go on. We’re on the terrace, the Mediterranean breeze wafting over. Fuck, the mood it puts me in, it’s getting more difficult to resist thoughts of touching Janine.
“I guess. But believe me, I will do everything in my power to make sure you’re as comfortable as possible that entire time.”
“In case you haven’t noticed in your long life, Mr. Wolf, we women are quite dependent on the good mood of our hormones. Tell me. If we get a dildo—together, at the sex shop—will that be my only companion until we’ve dealt with all the threats?”
Once again I don’t know what to say.
“Besides.” She resumes carefully cutting her food on her plate and picking small bites. “Who is to say that after these threats are eliminated we won’t have others?”
More threats means more time with Janine Kovesi. More time watching her. Fuck, what’s happening, do I actually like the idea?
“So what are you saying?” I start to pick at my food, too, avoiding her eyes. I don’t know exactly what’s happening to me, but I think I feel attracted to her, which is unsettling.
“I’m saying we’ll need a long term solution, because I don’t want to live as a nun. And I suppose you don’t want to prolong this monkish lifestyle indefinitely either, do you?”
I glance at her over the table. The soft piano notes awaken my senses, mixing with the salty breeze and the scent that is natural to Janine Kovesi’s body.
“I can deal with my needs.”
“Of course. No one is watching you the entire time, you have your privacy.”
“Shouldn’t we be discussing Lorenzo Piovra and possible strategies he might adopt instead? Making our plans? That’s our pressing matter right now. We can talk about the rest when this is over.”
“When we’re back in Darkwood Falls?”
I bend slightly to her over the table, my shoulders stiff. It feels awkward, talking about this with her. “We can visit the sex shop tomorrow right after the conference, if you like.”
Her eyes pierce right through to the back of my skull. Damn it. This woman is special, she has power in her gaze that she’s not even aware of. Of course men are intimidated by her.
“Any chance we might go tonight?”
I glance at my watch. “All stores are closed.”
The way she looks at me, all that sass and hunger tell me this is another attempt to get me into some kind of arrangement. I lean back in my chair, focusing on the sea food on my plate.
“Why not just enjoy the evening as it is now? We’re on the Cote d’Azure.” I look around to make a point.
She follows my gaze, her eyes stopping on the first couple that’s going to the dance floor. It’s a young man and an older woman, obviously in love. He winds an arm around her waist, pulls her to him gently and rests his cheek against the top of her head. It’s a gentle, loving gesture, and when he closes his eyes the chemistry of love hits me from them. Then the chemistry of sadness from Janine, my gaze turning to her.
“Love is such a beautiful thing to watch,” she says, eyes on the couple. “Especially the kind of love I’ve seen Arianna and Princess experience with Drago and Nero. Why wouldn’t you want to experience that? Princess says it’s the best thing that ever happened to her, that it’s an emotion worth dying for.”
“That is exactly why I don’t want to feel it. I am a protector, Miss Kovesi, that is my role within the pack. I must protect my brothers, see to the defense of the entire pack, see to the safety of the entire area and population of Darkwood Falls together with our werewolf brigade. I have to protect you. I can’t afford to lose myself to love, or even desire.”
“Drago and Nero have enemies, too. The serpents are still after them. Sullivan, the former mayor, has become a serpent himself and The Reaper’s right hand. He’s powerful, and he has a very personal grudge against Drago because he took Arianna away from him. As for Nero, should we even start on his long list of enemies?”
She fixes her intelligent eyes on mine, and I’m pulled to them like into a vortex. I can’t rip my gaze away no matter what.
“You know what I think Conan, what I really think?” She leans over the table, exposing her cleavage. “I think you’re just looking for excuses. You’re big and powerful, the protector of the Wolf pack and the entire Darkwood Falls, but deep down you’re a little boy that’s scared of love. You feel the more people you love the weaker you are, and that may be something that will never change about you. In fact, I don’t think you could change if you wanted to.”
This would be the point where the girl throws her napkin on the table, pushes her chair back, and leaves the date, the patrons’ eyes trailing after her. But Janine only leans back and places her hands on the chair’s arms, keeping her eyes on me without even blinking. She’s taking full responsibility for what she’s just said, and she can’t wait for me to challenge her. Damn, I love this queenly attitude of hers.
But I’m too old and too experienced to give her satisfaction. No matter how smart Janine is, she’s still a victim of young impulses. She wants a certain reaction from me, and her body chemistry is playing crazy to get it. Her mouth opens when all I say is,
“You’re right, Miss Kovesi,” and pick up my wine.
Janine
AT A CERTAIN POINT more couples joined the dancing young man and his older companion on the dance floor, all of them glancing at our table often. In fact, we were the center of attention the entire evening, which shouldn’t be surprising, not considering the way Conan looks. I was probably the most envied woman in the e
ntire restaurant. At least that part felt good.
I’m already under the covers in my bed when Conan emerges from the bathroom with only a towel around his waist. My heart jumps as I look at him in the light coming from the bathroom, water drops glistening on those boulder-like muscles. I lick my lips, unable to fight the impulse of doing something about this desire I feel for him.
Under the covers I’m wearing my favorite black negligée. It makes my boobs look bigger than they are, and it’s short enough to showcase my legs, which Princess says is always an advantage. As Conan lingers by the now open balcony windows, taking in the night sea breeze that makes for a romantic atmosphere paired with the music from the beach clubs, I push the covers aside. Clumsily, I remind myself that I am a strong, independent woman. I can go after what I want.
God, he’s half naked, with only a towel around his waist. What in the world am I doing? My heart trembles inside my chest, my hands and knees, too, and my mouth goes dry. But there’s no turning back now. I’m standing beside the bed, ready to prance over to him and touch his back. No, that would give him time to tell me no, maybe I should go straight for his dick, do something that will make him crave sex so much he won’t be able to reject me.
I don’t know who I’m trying to fool as I walk to him on shaky legs, my feet sinking into the thick soft rug. My ankles pop and I stop in my tracks, scrunching my eyes and mouthing ‘shoot’, but then I hear Conan laugh softly.
He turns around, my heart leaping into my throat. He’s now facing me, naked and wet, with only that flimsy towel around his waist. God, how I want to drop on my knees and take this beast’s cock in my mouth, but no! I’m a strong independent woman, I can’t make a fool out of myself like that. Fuck, I shouldn’t even want such a demeaning thing, what’s wrong with me?
“Miss Kovesi,” he says, a bit amused. “If you were trying to surprise me, may I remind you that I’m a werewolf. My hearing is so sharp that I can hear all the way down to the front office. Our good concierge is sound asleep in the manager’s back office, by the way, I can hear him snore. And you think you can sneak up on me?”
“First of all, I wasn’t sneaking.” My voice trembles at first, but once I’ve gotten that sentence out it’s better. “I wasn’t trying to surprise you. I was just, I don’t know.”
He stares hard at me, but not hard enough to make me desist. On the contrary, there’s something in the way he looks at me that invites me to go on. I take a couple of slow steps closer.
“How about we start by putting aside the formalities,” I say. “We’ve known each other for a while, we’ve spent days and nights together, making plans, now we’re even sharing a room. How about you start calling me Janine, and I’ll call you Conan.”
“That would bring intimacy between us. We’re dangerously close already.”
“What’s dangerous about our closeness?” I stop just inches from him, feeling so small that he could crush me. Still, I keep my gaze locked on his, even though my heart is beating as fast as a chicken’s.
“You’re a Fated Female,” he says. “Touching you could change things forever for me.”
“And would that really be that bad?”
“Janine.” God, the way he says my name, those big rough hands wrapping gently around my upper arms. My eyelids flutter shut as I let the sensation course all through my body. This feels so good it’s incredible. Princess was right. Once a man like this touches you, you’re lost. But then he begins talking again.
“What you want from me isn’t love or intimacy, Janine, it’s sex.” His voice is still soft as not to hurt my feelings, but I sense that behind the softness he relishes my burning shame. “But be honest with me and with yourself—would you take someone like me on your business meetings with your business partners? I’m not the sleek-haired boyfriend in an Armani suit that you always dreamt about. I’m not the guy you can display on your business meetings. I’m the kind of guy you fuck in secret, even after you’ve married the Armani-wearing bozo.”
“That’s not true,” I breathe, my eyes filling with tears of shame. I shouldn’t have come on to him, I should have taken his first no for an answer.
“Even if that was different. I don’t want to imprint on any woman, Janine, now or ever. I don’t want to become like my brothers, puppies staring adoringly at their mistresses. I won’t lose my head, become a slave to lust and need. I mean no offense to Arianna or Princess, I love them both, they became family the moment my brothers imprinted on them, but I don’t want the same fate.”
He looks deeply into my eyes one last time before he turns around, pushing the white drapes aside and stepping out onto the balcony. I stay petrified in place, watching this handsome naked Lucifer leaning on the banister with his enormous back at me, a perfect muscular V-shape that narrows down to perfect buttocks and powerful legs. I swallow hard as I watch him, a statue of perfection overlooking the night lights of Cote d’Azure, the breeze carrying the beats and music from party yachts over to us.
As I’m standing here with my desire pulsing in my nub, rejected and hurting, I realize—Conan is enjoying it. He relishes the scent of my body chemistry that tells him how much into him I am, how much I want to feel him inside me even if only once. All of a sudden I’m transported back in time, when I had my first crush.
I was twelve, and he had eyes for every girl in school other than me. The more I chased him, sending him love notes—at first anonymous, then more and more desperate—the more he rejected, and the more I wanted him. The same is happening now with Conan Wolf, but there’s no way I’m going there again, no way I’m ever going to feel as desperate as I did back then. Spite and lust for vengeance replace the tears in my eyes. I will kill the desire I feel for Conan Wolf, or die trying.
CHAPTER III
Conan
Janine is about to take the stage. My senses are heightened to pick up Lorenzo Piovra’s presence as soon as he sets foot on the hotel premises. And now that Janine is standing in her white business dress on the side of the stage, colored index cards in hand and ready to speak, I catch his scent. He steps into the conference room the moment Janine starts to talk.
I watch Lorenzo as he walks among the crowd, two werewolves of his pack flanking him on each side. He hasn’t changed a bit since the last time I saw him—in the cave when I battled him for The Reaper’s weapon, and won. He’s the same young man with spiked dark hair like an Anime character, and freaky, pale blue eyes. He’s got the eyes of a madman, and people tend to get out of his way because of it. He’s tall and lean, but very powerful. Right now in his black Armani suit he looks just like... Fuck.
My eyes snap over to Janine, who’s going about her business on the stage, without having noticed him. Had she caught sight of him, she surely would have stopped talking, because Lorenzo’s eyes have that effect on everybody. But something else worries me right now—he’s the exact type of man I described to her last night; the handsome guy in the Armani suit that could impress all her business partners, the kind of partner the entire world would approve of for a woman like her.
All I need to see is the way he looks at her, and I know—this is what he’s playing at; he’s going to seduce her. But then something else happens that throws me even more off—the more he watches Janine on stage and listens to her, the more he likes her; genuinely.
I spend the rest of the conference watching them, Janine moving gracefully on stage as she speaks, and Lorenzo sitting somewhere in the middle of the hall, staring at her. He’s absorbed, and I can’t blame him. The woman is the perfect blend between beauty and brilliance. There’s something regal about her and, had she had freedom to live as a normal woman, I’m sure she would have married some prince by now. Women like her are rare, and royals snatch them from the market quickly.
It hits me. If until yesterday the possibility of Janine and I coming together existed somewhere in the universe, it’s dead now. I sensed the decision she made last night, I smelled it in her chemistry. Even though
I was standing with my back at her, being a jerk in order to make her desist forever, the breeze carried her scent of ocean and anger over to me.
Yes, she is angry, which leaves the path open for Lorenzo. The more I think about it, the more my jaw clenches. She’s a Fated Female, he’s one of the most powerful werewolves alive, he could imprint on her.
Damn it. I didn’t see this coming.
I hurry to her side so that I’m right behind her when they finally come face to face. Luckily there are people who make it over to her with questions before Lorenzo does—he’s actually taking his time in a corner with his bodyguards—and I get to show him to her.
“I noticed him,” she whispers over her shoulder as she gives autographs on ‘Build your Own Business’ books that people come to her with. “He has striking eyes, I couldn’t miss him.”
Are you attracted to those eyes? Is what I desperately want to ask, but I clench my jaw and get a grip.
“He might have come here with the purpose of imprinting on you.”
“Oh, really? That means I could actually get laid soon.”
“This isn’t funny.” I manage to keep my cool on the outside, but fear does nestle in my chest. He could indeed use her sex starvation to his advantage.
I grab Janine’s shoulders and turn her around, looking deep into her eyes, my mouth close to hers as I tell her this. “Janine, listen to me. You are a brilliant woman, but Lorenzo is a very old werewolf, and no matter how high an IQ you have you’re no match for him. He’s going to try and play on your need for affection, for intimacy, for sex. You have to keep a cool head, no matter what.”
“I guess it would have helped if another werewolf had imprinted on me by now, wouldn’t it?”