by Quinn Loftis
Sally didn’t even wait for all of it to fall. She just ran through it, straight for Zara. Sally knelt beside her still form and pressed her hands on either side of her face. “Zara, come back to us,” Sally whispered.
She felt Zara’s spirit trying to slip away from her, so Sally pictured a rope and tethered her own spirit to Zara’s.
“Sally, no!” Costin’s firm voice filled her mind.
“It’s going to be fine, Costin. Trust me.”
Then Sally pictured herself pulling on the rope, pulling Zara’s spirit back into the land of the living, so to speak. “I don’t know if you know this about me, Zara, but out of Jen and Jacque, I am actually the most stubborn. You would think it would be Jen, but nope. You see, I am the most stubborn because I honestly believe everyone has a purpose in life. Everyone has a certain number of days they are supposed to be on this round, spinning ball of water and land. And they can’t leave until they’ve completed their work. You have not completed yours. You are not done. You have so much left to do, so many people who need to be impacted by you. So, you see, I can’t let you go. Don’t make us mourn you before your time.”
Sally hadn’t noticed Rachel kneeling on the other side of Zara. She, too, had her hands on the girl, but hers were on Zara’s arm and hand. Both pushed their light into the mental form of the girl that was just a memory. They weren’t going to stop until she was back, until she believed them.
Zara wanted to die. Didn’t she? For some reason, the girl was suddenly confused about what she wanted. One minute, she was sure her miserable existence just wasn’t worth enduring any longer, and the next she was considering fighting, trying to get free or at least holding on and praying for someone to rescue her.
“Fight, Zara, you have to fight.”
She didn’t recognize the voice that suddenly filled the air around her. It was feminine and beautiful, almost musical in its quality. Fight. The voice wanted her to fight.
“Why?” Zara asked the voice.
“Because this is no longer your life. You aren’t trapped with that monster any longer. You’re free. You have a family again. You have sisters and brothers and a man who loves you. Try to remember."
Zara desperately wanted the voice to be real. She didn’t think she could hold onto this life much longer. She honestly didn’t know how much fight she had left. She forced herself to focus and search her memories. Zara imagined her mind as a file cabinet, her memories lined up in manila folders. She began flipping through them, noticing the pictures filling the folders. One after another, she flipped. They began as happy memories, pictures of her family and friends. But soon they turned dark. The pictures became dark and blood soaked. Some were blank, containing memories she’d completely blocked out because of the trauma. She forced herself to continue looking. Somewhere toward the end of the file, she paused. Inside of this file was the picture of a handsome man. It was bright, crisp, and clear and so completely out of place among the rest of the dark folders, she thought some cosmic bookkeeper must have misfiled it somehow. But then Zara felt something stirring in her stomach, and her heart began to pound out a rhythm in her chest that was nearly painful.
She knew this man. How do I know this man? His eyes were gold and full of kindness and mirth. His lips turned up in a smile that looked content on his face, as though he wore a smile more than any other expression. He was handsome. Zara found herself reaching out and running her fingertips across his forehead and down his cheeks. Have I ever touched him like this before?
She doubted it. It had been so long since she’d been around humans. Hadn’t it? She flipped through the rest of the filing cabinet and found more folders containing pictures of people who clearly weren’t vampires. Zara felt like she should know these people, but she couldn’t place them.
There was a beautiful brunette with eyes as kind as the first male she’d seen. There was a blonde woman who had a mischievous look on her face that made Zara think perhaps she enjoyed causing a lot of trouble. Then there was a redhead who had a look of exasperation on her freckled face. She appeared levelheaded more than anything. The other pictures were of males, nearly as handsome as the first picture she’d seen, though they didn’t draw her in as he had.
Who are these people? The memories had to be hers. She didn’t think she was sorting through someone else’s memories. The vampire pictures she had no trouble whatsoever recalling. So, Zara had to know these people, too, but how? She’d been a captive of the vampires since she was eleven. These people weren’t in her life before her capture.
“Remember, Zara. Remember Wadim, Jacque, Jen, Sally, Alina,” the voice said and continued to list more names.
Zara repeated the names over and over, but it wasn’t until she heard a different voice that her brain began to feel as though it were going to shatter.
“Beautiful.” A deep, masculine voice replaced the feminine one and sent shivers down her spine. “I need you to remember me. I need you to remember the first time you bumped into me and nearly brought me to my knees. You were the loveliest thing I’d ever seen. I knew instantly you were my true mate.”
True mate? Zara was puzzled. What on earth is a true mate? Is it like a soul mate? And do those even exist?
“It is exactly like a soul mate, and yes they exist,” the deep voce said.
“Who are you?” Zara asked.
“I’m Wadim. I’m the picture at the start of that file in your mind.”
Zara flipped back to the beginning of the memory file and stared, once again, at the handsome face. Her heartbeat started to speed up as she gazed into those golden eyes. Wadim. That named sounded so familiar and precious to her. She wanted to remember.
“He is nothing to you.” Ander’s voice suddenly broke through the bubble that had enveloped her.
Zara’s head snapped up to see the … thing. She called him a thing because he wasn’t a man. He was the thing she despised most in the world, and he was staring down at her with a determined fire in his eyes.
“You are mine.”
She shook her head. “No. You can keep saying that, but I will never be yours. Not any part of me.”
“Your soul says otherwise,” Ander said, and a sinister smile spread across his evil face.
“My soul—” Zara began but stopped when another voice—Wadim’s voice—reverberated throughout the room. Somewhere, deep down, she was beginning to believe this wasn’t a room at all but actually a place in her mind. Yet it seemed so real to her.
“Zara’s soul belongs to me! Just as mine belongs to her. Your lies have no hold on her any longer,” Wadim roared.
Zara didn’t know what was happening, but the rage that overtook Ander’s face terrified her.
“NO,” the vampire bellowed.
Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her neck and, for a split second, she thought it was a vampire bite. But then the pain subsided, and pleasure coursed through her body. If this was some sort of drug, then sign her up for more.
“Zara, swallow.” Wadim’s voice sounded strained. “I’m sorry, beautiful. I didn’t mean to take the choice from you. I didn’t know what else to do.”
He sounded so forlorn and lost that Zara wanted to wrap her arms around him, but that thought fled when she felt something warm sliding down her throat. A second later, light exploded in her mind as memories flooded in and Zara remembered everything.
She opened her eyes and blinked several times. When her vision cleared, she stared up into golden eyes.
“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Wadim said, his lips drawn tight across his face. “I almost lost you,” he said.
“I’m sorry,” Zara whispered.
Wadim shook his head. “You have nothing to apologize for. It is I who will be doing the apologies, but first we need to get you cleaned up.”
Wadim felt nauseated as he carried his mate to the bathroom. Sally and Rachel had stepped out of the room the minute Zara had opened her eyes, allowing Wadim to have time alone with his n
ewly bonded mate. Considering he’d just performed the Blood Rites on her without even discussing it first, they were probably going to need some one-on-one time to talk about it.
He hadn’t known what else to do. Rachel and Sally had managed to loosen the hold Ander had on Zara. But once the vampire started speaking again, Wadim had been terrified that Ander would be able to drag her back into the darkness of the spot in her soul he occupied. He needed his mate to break free. When Sally pulled out of Zara’s mind long enough to tell Wadim about the soul bond the vampire had placed on Zara, Wadim had nearly lost it. His wolf had simply reacted. It sank their teeth into her neck without a second thought. Wadim hadn’t even had time to truly enjoy marking her because all he could think about was the fact that, even though he might be saving her life, she’d most likely hate him when she found out what he’d done.
Then, to add insult to injury, he’d given her his own blood without her consent as well. He couldn’t stand the idea Zara might hate him, but he couldn’t let Ander have her soul. Even if she never wanted anything to do with him, Wadim would rather have that outcome than see her die and be stuck with that vampire for eternity.
In the bathroom, Wadim kicked the door shut and set Zara on the toilet. He knelt down in front of her and tilted her chin up so he could see her face. “I’m going to run you a hot bubble bath. Is that okay?”
She nodded as silent tears tracked down her face. Wadim didn’t know what to say or do so he simply leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He stood and went about running her bath until the tub was full and nearly overflowing with bubbles. Then Wadim opened the door.
“I’m going to wait out here while you get in the tub. Do you think you’ll need help undressing? I can get Rachel or Sally if you’d like.”
Zara’s eyes widened as she looked up at him. “Please don’t leave,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to be alone.”
“Okay, but wouldn’t you be more comfortable with a female?” Wadim asked.
“I’d be more comfortable with my mate,” she said, her voice cracking just a bit. As she stood, Wadim realized she was trembling.
He shut the door and stepped up to her. “Shh,” he said gently as she started to cry. She buried her face in his chest and the sobs were muffled, but they still broke his heart. “My love, what can I do?”
“Forgive me,” she whimpered.
“For what?” Wadim nearly growled. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“I forgot you. I forgot everyone who has helped me these past months. How could I do that?”
“Zara, you have been through hell. You may be physically healed, but the emotional trauma may take years to mend. I would never fault you for what has happened. Not only were you dealing with the memories of the horrors you endured, but your mind was also wrestling with black magic,” Wadim explained. “You didn’t know Ander had marked you.”
“Even in death, he holds power over me,” she cried.
Wadim shook his head and put two fingers under her chin, lifting her face to his. “No, not anymore. And it is I who needs to ask your forgiveness. I did not know how else to break the soul bond he placed on you. I’m sorry, beautiful. I performed the Blood Rites without your consent.” Wadim drew in a heavy breath before continuing. “I know I didn’t ask your permission, and I am so sorry I took the choice away from you. I didn’t know what else to do.” Wadim waited for the anger and hurt he was sure she would feel toward him, but instead, Zara cupped his face and rose up on her toes to kiss his lips. She rarely initiated physical affection, and it was a gift when she did.
When she pulled back, she smiled and it lit up her lovely face. “Thank you for saving me. Thank you for taking care of me, for loving me.”
“The honor is mine, Zara,” Wadim said as he leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers. He closed his eyes and breathed in her unique scent. His wolf wanted to wrap her up, take her far away from any danger, and give her time to heal. He wanted to reassure her over and over again he would never let anything or anyone hurt her again. But sticking her in a bubble wouldn’t be what was best for her. She needed to experience life, especially after being locked underground in hell with a demon for so long.
“Ready for that bath?”
She nodded. Her hands were still shaking as she started to lift her shirt. Wadim started to turn around to give her privacy, but she stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Could you help me?”
His eyes widened.
“I mean … if you don’t mind, but you don’t have to. It’s fine…” Zara stumbled over her words.
Wadim felt shame and embarrassment come through their bond. He realized she thought he would be repulsed. Silly female. He’d have to reassure her that repulsion was the furthest thing from his mind when he thought of her.
“I’m your mate, Zara. It is my privilege and deepest desire to care for you in any way you need. I will help you, but I will keep my eyes on your beautiful face, because you aren’t ready for anything that might happen if I look at the rest of you.”
She sighed. “I’m not much to look at. I don’t think you will have any trouble restraining yourself.”
Wadim forced his wolf, who wanted to growl at their mate, down. He and his beast did not like their mate degrading herself. “You are beautiful to me. All of you. And hopefully one day you will truly believe me when I say that.” He didn’t wait to see how she would respond as he lifted the hem of her shirt. She raised her arms obediently, and he slipped it over her head. Wadim’s eyes never left her face as he helped his mate undress and then climb into the tub. Once she was fully submerged and covered by the bubbles, he sat down on the floor next to the tub and just stared at her. She had no idea how incredible she was. Zara was a miracle to him.
“You’re staring at me,” Zara said, her face turning a rosy pink.
“My mark is beautiful on your neck,” he said.
“The Blood Rites is supposed to be pretty special, isn’t it?”
Wadim nodded. “It’s the equivalent of marriage to a Canis lupus.”
“And I missed it.” She sniffed as she wiped another tear away. “I missed my own wedding, essentially.”
Wadim leaned forward and gently brushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. “It’s something that can be repeated, and usually is with true mates.”
Her eyes widened. “Really?”
He nodded. “My da told me that, sometimes, if a male’s mate was in danger, once that danger had passed, the male would mark his mate again, just as a reminder to both that they belong to each other, that nothing would separate them. They would both bite one another in the same place as the original bites.”
Her eyes widened. “But I didn’t bite you. Does that mean we aren’t bonded?”
“Not technically. I gave you my blood, so it’s a half bond, I guess. At some point, when you’re ready, we can do it again and you can bite me. And … also when you’re ready, we will have to complete the bond when we … consummate our mating.”
She paled.
Wadim hurried to add, “But only when you’re ready. I’ll wait as long you need … years, decades, a century… It doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with you.”
They were quiet for a while as Zara leaned back in the bathtub, resting her head against the edge and closing her eyes. Wadim simply watched her. He probably seemed like a creeper, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He felt like he’d nearly lost her and if he blinked she’d suddenly disappear.
“Ander said he used witch magic to bind my soul to his. How did I not know that? How did I not feel it?” Zara asked.
“The witch he got the spell from was probably very powerful. She could have made it untraceable. Even my wolf didn’t sense it,” Wadim explained.
“Rachel and Sally where there, weren’t they? I remember hearing their voices.”
“They were. Your breathing was strained, and I couldn’t reach you. There was a barrier between us.”
Wadim forced down the panic threatening to return as he remembered being unable to reach her through the bond.
“I need to thank them,” Zara said as she lifted her head to look at him.
“Neither of them would expect it, but they will want to see for themselves that you are okay now.”
“Wadim?”
“Yes, beautiful?”
“I love you.”
Wadim let those words wash over him, chasing away the fear he’d felt and the worry that she’d hate him for forcing the Blood Rites. He kneeled over the edge of the tub and cupped the back of her head as he pressed his lips to hers. “And I love you,” he whispered into her mind.
When she was ready, Wadim helped Zara from the tub and let her dry herself off as he went and retrieved her some comfortable clothes in which she could sleep. He passed the place where Jen and Stephanie had fought and noticed it had been cleaned. Rachel and Sally probably had something to do with that. He’d have to get them a couple of cool T-shirts as a thank you gift.
Once they were settled in bed, Wadim wrapped an arm around Zara’s middle and pulled her back against his chest, tucking her in tightly against him. “It’s late and you’re exhausted. Sleep and tomorrow we will see the healers so we can thank them.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“I can’t help but feel like we’re running away from the fight while our mates run to it. And while it goes against everything inside of me to go in the opposite direction of Decebel, I know our job is equally as important as those on the front lines.” ~Jen
* * *
“Talk to me, Jennifer.” Decebel’s voice reverberated in Jen’s mind. She tightened down her end of the bond so she could still feel Dec, but he couldn’t keep bugging her to tell him what she didn’t even understand herself. It had been three days since she’d killed the she-wolf, Stephanie. It had also been three days since she’d had a decent night’s sleep. Jen had been trying to wrap her head around her tumultuous emotions, but the girl was struggling. She and the rest of the pack were preparing, both at the Serbia mansion and Romania mansion, to head to the refuge, but Jen’s mind had been far from her daily tasks.