“Oh god, no thanks.” She shuddered. “Your brother—ugh. He gives me the creeps.”
“He has that effect on some people.” I shrugged. “I don’t think he’s ever going to grow up either.”
“Why would he? Your Dad still gives him an allowance.” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, so Gerard—is it serious?”
“I think it might be. We’ve been on a couple of dates.” I chewed my lip nervously. “He—wants more though.”
“Rachel Lawson! Are you going to get your cherry popped finally?” She giggled and didn’t even try to suppress her grin.
“Maybe…” I grimaced, but my face spread into a huge smile.
Later that day
I was on my way to meet Gerard for our third date, and things had been moving fast. He took me to a theme park for our first date and even managed to get me on a roller coaster—something I had always been afraid to try. Our second date was a little less crazy. He took me to a nice restaurant for dinner, and then we went to see a live performance of Wicked—which I’m not sure he was entirely into, but I definitely enjoyed it. The third date was going to be more intimate—dinner at his place. That probably meant the setting wasn’t the only private thing he had in mind. He kissed me at the end of our first date—and the kiss at the end of our second date lasted a lot longer. Both times, I was the one that pulled away before it could turn into more than a kiss—both times I saw the desire in his eyes. He was incredibly attractive and a genuinely nice guy. I wanted to believe that was enough, and I was rapidly falling head-over-heels. I just didn’t want it to be a mistake.
“You’re early.” Gerard opened the door and smiled. “Wow, you look beautiful.”
“You say that every time you see me.” I nervously pushed my hair behind my ear.
“And it’s always the truth.” He took my hand and pulled me into his arms.
Gerard crushed my lips beneath his immediately, and my body reacted to the kiss. My own desires were telling me that it was okay to let him go further—to let him take my virginity. I still hadn’t told him that I was a virgin. I wasn’t sure how to really say it—but I was going to have to if things heated up between us—especially if I decided that I wanted to spend the night.
Luckily, I got a temporary respite when a buzzer sounded in the kitchen, and he was forced to tend to the meal he was making. I took off my coat, sat down on the couch, and tried to stop my head from spinning. Gerard offered me a glass of wine, and I sipped it slowly while I waited for him to finish making dinner. When everything was ready, I joined him in the dining room and was surprised to find out he was a damn good cook.
“This was so good.” I looked down at my empty plate. “I haven’t had a meal like this—in years.”
Since my mother passed—God rest her soul.
“I hope you saved room for dessert.” He reached for my plate as he stood.
“I don’t know…” I was already beyond stuffed.
“It’s nothing fancy, just some ice cream in a bowl.” He chuckled. “Maybe a few sprinkles on top.”
“Okay, you had me at ice cream.” I suppressed a giggle as he walked into the kitchen.
The ice cream was excellent—even if I was full, from dinner. We moved back to the living room after we were done, and Gerard’s lips found mine immediately. There was a hunger in his kiss—a primal desire for more than just my lips. I was feeling it too, and when he started kissing my neck, I felt my inhibitions wavering. He really was a great guy—I wanted to trust him. I wanted to give him my innocence—but I had to tell him first. He pushed me back against the couch and started to ravage my mouth with tongue, crushing my lips before I had a chance to say anything. His hands were on my body, and they felt perfect. One of his hands moved down to my thigh—and then it started moving underneath my dress. He slid his hand all the way to my panties before I even had a chance to really process what he was doing. His touch made the desire flood my system—overloading every bit of caution until I was squirming underneath him.
“Wait.” I put my hands on my shoulders and pushed him back.
“Don’t you want me?” He leaned forward and kissed my neck, dragging his lips up to my ear. “I want you…”
“I want you too, but there’s something you need to know.” I gasped and exhaled sharply. “I’ve never done this before—I’m a virgin.”
“I don’t care.” His lips never left my ear. “I still want you.”
That was the last barrier I had between my innocence and what he wanted—except my hymen. Gerard scooped me into his arms, and our eyes stayed locked together as he carried me to the bedroom. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once as he unzipped my dress and pulled it off my body. The need in his eyes—it was the most alluring thing I had ever seen. I could feel my pussy getting wet, and my panties were saturated with my virgin lust. He removed my bra and started kissing my breasts, swirling his tongue around my nipples, and turning them too hard nubs against his tongue. He left them longing for his kiss as his lips moved lower—and then his hands were wrapped around my panties. He pulled them down my thighs, down my calves, and then they were on the floor. His lips kissed along my thighs until I felt the heat of his breath against my wetness. A single flick of his tongue against my clit made my whole body tense up and course with pleasure.
“Oh god, that feels good.” I moaned, and my back arched.
“I’m going to take good care of you.” He pushed my thighs apart. “You’ll always remember this night—and it’ll be the best one of your life.”
Gerard’s tongue started to circle my clit, and after the hard bundle of nerves reacted to his touch, he slid his tongue down to the entrance of my pussy. I felt his tongue go inside me until it was pushing against my hymen. Everything he did felt amazing, and the pleasure was unlike anything I had experienced before. I melted into the moment—I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay in his bed—and in his arms. It was where I belonged—with the most amazing man I had ever met. His tongue slid back to my clit, and then he started to circle it faster than he had the first time. The pleasure made my heart beat hard in my chest while every nerve in my body was ignited by his tongue. He kept his tongue moving until I felt the pressure inside my body—an impending orgasm simmering beneath the surface.
“You’re gonna make me come…” I moaned and felt my nails dig into his shoulder as my muscles tensed up.
His tongue kept moving, and the pressure kept getting more intense. The orgasm that was simmering beneath the surface began to heat up. I was definitely going to come, and it felt like it was going to be a big one. My back arched, my toes curled, and then I felt the pleasure roar through my body with more ferocity. The pressure began to release, shooting current of bliss coursing through my veins. My mouth opened wide and I let out a loud gasp, followed by a squeal when the peak sent waves of euphoria crashing into my soul. The peak lasted longer than it ever had when I was pleasuring myself—a prolonged eruption of ultimate nirvana. When my body finally began to relax, I felt like I had seen what heaven looked like—and I wanted more. I was eager for it—the need was burning inside me like a lit match that tasted the fire for the very first time wanted to smolder until there was nothing, but ashes left.
“I want you…” I looked down and Gerard and exhaled sharply. “Please…”
“You don’t have to ask me twice.” He grinned as he raised up from between my thighs and started to undress.
I had never seen a man’s erect cock before. When his pants were tossed to the side, and his boxers came down I saw his dick spring to life like it had been waiting all night to be freed from the fabric prison. It was long, thick, and had a bulbous head. Gerard unrolled on a condom along his length and moved closer until I felt the head of his thick cock pushing against my wetness. The grin on his face was gone. All I saw was a look of intensity—a need that had to be satisfied. He started to push himself inside me, and I immediately grimaced when I felt my pussy being stretched for the very first time. He pushed past the e
ntrance, and then he was against my hymen. A grunt echoed from his throat as he shifted his weight and his cock destroyed the barrier that stood between him and what he truly wanted. I moaned—but it was due to the sharp sensation of pain that I felt when my hymen tore. He pushed a little harder until the battered flesh was stretched around his girth, and then he went deeper.
“Oh god.” I bit down on my bottom lip.
“It’s going to be okay.” He leaned forward until his lips were against my ear. “It won’t hurt for long—you’ll be begging for it in no time.”
I hope so because right now it hurts…
Inch-by-inch, I felt my tight virgin pussy being penetrated and stretched around his girth. After he had forced half of his length inside me, he pulled back and started to thrust gently. It wasn’t painful, but it wasn’t entirely pleasant. I could feel the hint of what it could feel like, but I wasn’t there yet. I trusted Gerard though—he wasn’t going to hurt me. It might have been too soon for love, but the connection was already formed. I knew I wanted him—I needed him to claim me—to show me that he wanted me in his bed until our bodies were seared together and our souls were inseparable. The thrusts got a little faster, and he continued going deeper. I fought against the discomfort and felt it begin to dissipate. Every thrust was better than the one before it. His hands explored my body; then they were around my wrists. I saw the look in his eyes—the caring one—turn to a look of primal lust. Seeing it turned me on—it was a mixture of excitement and desire swirling together. The thrusts got harder. The pleasure started to grow—then I felt his balls against me. He was all of the way in.
“I’m going to fuck you so hard that you scream.” His words were like growls in my ear. “I’m going to claim your pussy—it belongs to me now.”
“Yes!” I purred back, gasping as I felt his thick cock throbbing deep inside my pussy.
There was more to sex than just passion—more than a connection. It was a primal need that begged to be satisfied. I finally understood that. It was beautiful and blissful, but it was hot enough to make my skin sizzle underneath his weight. Every thrust was harder than the one before it, and the pain was gone. I felt immense pleasure echoing from deep within me as my g-spot was stimulated for the very first time. I squirmed on the bed as the pressure began to build. It was similar to the one that I felt when his tongue was against my clit—but it was more intense. His lips moved to mine, and he kissed me—I tasted my own lust on his lips, and then he started to ravage my mouth with his tongue. I was his—entirely. He was doing things to me that I never thought I would enjoy. I was pinned to the bed—trapped beneath his weight—and I fucking loved it. I wanted him to fuck me harder—faster—to let the primal desire to keep the savage thrusts coming as long as possible.
“Please…” I pulled my lips away from him and things I never thought about saying slipped off my tongue like they were always waiting to be said to him. “Fuck me harder.”
He obliged without missing a single thrust. The pressure inside me was agonizing, yet it was the most beautiful feeling in the world. It crushed me from within while his cock made my g-spot roar with pleasure. I felt myself getting closer to the edge, but the edge was like a tightrope that I was walking across. I didn’t want to give in because I wanted the feeling to last as long as possible—but the desire was too strong. I tumbled into euphoria, and incredible pleasure surged through my veins. I was coming—and it was a vicious, yet glorious feeling. I felt him throbbing as my pussy spasmed on his length. My muscles tightened and squeezed my entire body. Then the nirvana flooded me so fast I felt it from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Nothing could compare to that feeling—it was the most fantastic thing in the world.
“You’re going to make me come.” His words came out in growls. “Your tight little pussy feels so fucking good.”
“Yes.” I nodded quickly. “Cum inside me…”
More words I never imagined myself saying, yet they rolled off my tongue like they were meant for him. His thrusts got more erratic—chaotic even. The full weight of his body was crashing into me, and his cock was hammered deep each time he slammed against my frame. The bed itself was shaking, moving, and the headboard thumped against the wall. I felt his dick spasm, then pulsate, and a second later a warmth erupted from the head. The condom caught his seed, but I felt the explosion.
It sent me over the edge again and forced me to come while the first orgasm was still peaking. I wished it was just him—without the latex between us. I wanted his seed inside me, yet I didn’t know why. It was just as a strange desire that took hold of me like the other primal one’s coursing through my thoughts. He kept thrusting until he was spent, and my orgasms subsided. His weight fell against me, and he kissed me several times after our initial passion was satisfied. I loved the way he felt—the way he smelled with the masculine scent teasing my nostrils. I could practically smell our lust lingering in the air when he pulled out and crashed on the bed beside me.
“That was incredible.” I stared at the ceiling and smiled.
“Yes.” He leaned over and kissed my forehead. “It was amazing.”
I can’t wait for the next time—and the time after that. I bet it gets even better. He’s going to turn me into an addict that begs for his touch—and I have no problem with that. I want to be his—I don’t even want to leave his bed.
Present day
After I lost my virginity to Gerard, I was floating on a cloud. I thought I was invincible—that I finally understood what life was about. It was more than just pushing yourself to be the best—to fulfill responsibilities. It was about passion, love, and the beauty of two people connecting in a way that they never had before. When I left him the next day, I thought my phone would ring before I got to my car. But it didn’t. It was silent for a whole day—and then that day passed. I sent him a couple of text messages, but I didn’t get a reply. After three days of silence, the harsh reality sank in. He wasn’t going to call me again. I was his for one night, and that was all he wanted. After a week of silence, I sank into a bit of a depressed state as the realization that I would never feel his touch again sank in. It was a longing that needed to be satisfied, yet the man who claimed me—said I was his—didn’t want me anymore.
A million apologies won’t fix that. My anger may be gone, but that sting returns if I dwell on it.
The reality was simple—I never got closure with Gerard. I let a million scenarios play out in my head—words I said to him when I closed my eyes—words that never formed on my lips when I finally saw him again. The door to what we had closed the day I left his apartment after our night of passion, and I came to terms with it. I had no choice but to accept the path in front of me when there was nothing behind me. Being his roommate was not going to be easy. The first night was hard, but something unexpected did happen. Liam’s kiss. Hot, beautiful, Liam—a fantasy that I never thought I could have. Was the alcohol really what steered his lips to mine? I wasn’t sure which answer to that question I really wanted. I couldn’t go through the sting of being thrown away again when a man got what he wanted from me. If the kiss was the beginning and the end, then so be it. I might not have had the strength to push Gerard away, but I was too protective of my heart to let another man inside of it unless I knew it was real.
I might get closure with both of them before this month is over. Gerard who hurt me—Liam who teased my thoughts when I was younger. That will be worth more than all the money in my bank account.
8
Gerard
Asking my parents for money was humiliating after being able to stand on my own two feet without monetary support from them since I moved out of their house. The worst part was that I couldn’t tell them the truth about why I needed it. I knew they couldn’t afford to give me twenty-five thousand dollars, but they did write me a check for three. It was all they were really able to spare, and I was grateful. I promised to pay them back as soon as I could. That was the easy part, because my parents
were generous, even if I never asked them for anything. I hit up a few buddies after that, and the instant they found out I was asking for money, the conversation became short. I should have expected that. Billy and Liam were my closest friends. Everyone else was mostly an acquaintance. I felt a little concerned when I got back to the apartment, but I hoped Liam had more success than I did. I sent him a text message, but I didn’t get a response.
I might as well head back home. Hopefully, Rachel will be gone by the time I get back.
I grabbed a quick lunch, ate it on the way back to the apartment, and was surprised to find out that Liam hadn’t made it back—and that Rachel was still there. The beautiful brunette’s demeanor was still a mystery to me. I couldn’t imagine how I would feel if our roles were reversed—if she was the one that never called me after our night together. I would have been furious. I wouldn’t have been cordial. I wouldn’t have been nice—even if it had been two years since our passion burned up the sheets. An apology sure as fuck wouldn’t have fixed anything, no matter how sincere it was. The problem was—the real truth? Rachel was the one that got away, and it was all my fault. I was the fool—the one who chased after fantasy instead of the incredible reality I could have had. I regretted it—and Rachel was my biggest regret. Maybe those were the words I should have said instead of a hollow apology.
Two years ago
Rachel was on my thoughts the second that she left my apartment following our incredible night together. I took her virginity—claimed her innocence—and that was a moment I would never forget. I even made her breakfast before she left, and I never did that for any of the girls I took to bed. Rachel was different though. She was special. She was the kind of girl I could see myself settling down with—having a future that included a white picket fence and a few children. That was a ways off. She had school, career aspirations—she didn’t seem like the type to rush headfirst into becoming barefoot and pregnant. That drive was part of why I liked her so much though, even if we were just getting started on what seemed to be a promising relationship. I stared at my phone and considered texting her, but I was interrupted by the sound of my front door opening, and then Liam came stumbling into the apartment.
Blaze & Bind: A MFM Firefighter Romance (Surrender to Them Book 10) Page 5