by CW Johnson
~~~
Todd was sitting behind the shrubbery just outside the lobby of Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital, listening to Tacoma snore. He had been sitting there for well over an hour. The sun had finally come out, putting an end to the horrible night. He felt exhausted, but he knew sleep was not an option. Hope of finding Maria had driven him to this point and time. The horror he had experienced thinking she was dead, the euphoria realizing she was not, had all but driven him to the point of exhaustion, if not madness. Now, he was facing the realization that she was really gone. He’d never see her again. He’d never be a father to the child he had already grown to love. The life he thought he had was only a fleeting dream.
He remembered the picture of Maria he kept with him and cursed when he realized he had never gotten his wallet or wedding ring back from the prison…That damn Prison. Leland…Leland and his God. If there was a God, he decided, He obviously wasn’t taking part in the affairs of men these days. That was for sure.
Tacoma stirred. He looked around and silently sat up. He sat quietly for a time watching Todd. “Where did you get the Cuete, bro?” he asked, gesturing towards the pistol Todd was holding in his hand.
Todd glanced down at it and looked back up. “I got it from the dead guy; thought it might come in handy.”
Tacoma slowly nodded his head. “What you gonna do now, essey?” he asked, obviously sensing Todd’s pain.
Todd stared silently into the day. “Don’t know,” he said finally.
Tacoma looked up at the sky and back at Todd. “Are you gonna’ be ok, bro?”
Todd didn’t answer. Both men fell silent.
“I got a sister,” Tacoma said. “She lives in Warez. It’s a long far away but, maybe I’ll try to go see her.”
Todd glanced at Tacoma and back out into the distance. “Yeah, you should go find your family. I have a…dad. I wonder what he’s doing these days.”
Todd could hear the sounds of the city coming back to life. The hours of curfew were over and people would be moving about, trying to get out of the city any way they could.
“You gonna be ok, essey?” Tacoma asked, again.
“Yeah,” Todd said. “I’ll be fine…you go find your sister.”
“You sure, bro?”
“Absolutely.”
Tacoma stood, and looked back at Todd. “I hope you find your wife,” he said, squinting into the bright morning sun.
Todd looked away trying to hold back the tears. “Yeah well, it doesn’t look like that’s gonna happen.”
“You should never give up, homey.”
“Yeah I should,” Todd said, looking up at Tacoma. “I can feel it. She’s gone. They’ve taken her away and time has run out for us.”
“You really love her a lot don’t you, bro?”
Todd nodded. “Everybody loves Maria.”
“I’ll be seeing you, bro,” Tacoma said as he turned to leave.
“Tacoma?”
Tacoma turned back.
“Thanks for your help, brother.”
Tacoma grinned. “Are we even, essey?”
“You mean the go-slow thing?”
Tacoma nodded.
“Absolutely.”
Tacoma grinned, saluted, turned and walked north.
Todd watched him round the corner and disappear.
~~~
“You’ll make a new life for yourself, just give it time.”
Brother Michael was sitting in a plush leather-clad seat across from Maria. They had been parked on the tarmac for about fifteen minutes while the captain made a few last-minute checks.
She sniffed and wiped a tear away. “You don’t understand. Todd and I weren’t …normal. Todd loved me. I’m not sure anyone else could ever….” She buried her face in the handkerchief she still carried from the warehouse. “How could he have died like that?” she sobbed. “We were gonna be a family.”
Michael moved to her and sat silently by her side. “Families are important. Do you have any family…other than Todd?”
“My parents died when I was young,” Maria said, wiping her eyes. “I have a cousin somewhere, but I haven’t seen him since we were little. I heard he was schizophrenic or something, a real helmet case. Last time I heard, he was living on the streets somewhere…that’s all. How about you?”
Michael paused a moment. “I have a cousin too,” he said finally.
“Really, where?”
Michael quietly leaned in, started to speak but was interrupted by the sound of the engines coming to life.
“I think you better find a seatbelt,” Maria said, trying to smile. Michael moved back to the seat facing her and found his seatbelt. He pulled it around his waist and snapped it in place.
Santana was an extravagant man. The modified L 1011 Jumbo Jet had been fitted with all the comforts. The fuselage housed several large rooms, lavishly furnished according to their own theme. Maria and Michael had chosen to occupy one of the more modest office nooks adorning the single hallway running the length of the aircraft.
The plane began moving forward. Maria stared out the window. She could see the Nashville skyline from where she was sitting. “I like it here,” Todd had said the night they tried to leave. She had liked it too…back then. She thought about the tiny fast food restaurant near their home. She thought about the silly hat and apron Todd had magically produced the first night they had spent there. The nights in front of the fireplace drinking merlot and eating spaghetti, dreaming together of their brand new little baby…She remembered how hard she had laughed when Todd pulled the funny face and put his arms out when she asked what he thought the baby might look like…She thought about Lucky Fried Chicken on the Cumberland… She slumped in her seat, pulled the handkerchief to her face and sobbed uncontrollably.
The plane was picking up speed as it rolled down the makeshift runway.
~~~
Brian Mines’ initial jubilation had quickly turned to terror. He realized he hadn’t given this nearly enough thought. The mammoth landing gear he had been sitting on had initially started vibrating as they began rolling down the runway, but as the aircraft picked up speed, the vibration turned to wild, violent bucking.
How am I gonna breathe? This plane is gonna be flying at around thirty thousand feet…What the hell was I thinking? He considered bailing out, but the plane was moving too fast. He’d wind up under the tires. He was sure of it.
As the plane blew past, his wife Marge came into view. She must have heard the engines and woken up. She was wandering aimlessly around the tarmac looking for him. Poor little Marge…what had he done?
The violent bucking ceased. He looked down and watched the ground fall away beneath him. I might still survive this. Skydivers jump from high places all the time. People climb gigantic mountains…It might get uncomfortable but I might still survive this.
Suddenly, to his horror, the landing gear began folding in towards him. “The wheels!” he screamed. The colossal tires began drawing up into the wings. He felt pressure on his legs, then blinding pain. His bones popped and cracked as his legs folded into his chest. He screamed as the air rushed from his lungs.
Then, there was nothing.
~~~
“Somebody’s getting out of here," Todd said, looking up towards the sound. A lone aircraft had made it out of the airport and was gaining altitude, leaving the city for parts unknown.
He had been sitting in the shade outside Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital, wondering what to do with the remainder of his short life. He thought about dedicating himself to the eradication of everyone involved in the Vinces, but he realized it would be a waste of time. The asteroid would more than likely do it for him. He wondered when he had last eaten. It must have been at the prison…He couldn’t remember. Maybe he should go find something to eat. Where should he start…the dumpsters maybe?
He stood, and slowly began walking, wandering aimlessly, working his solitary way back from where he had come the long night before. Within a short
time he found himself in front of the Nashville Hillshire hotel. He slowed and stood silently peering past broken glass into the lobby. He could see her in his mind, her hand out, smiling that smile, reaching out to Donahue. ‘I had to meet you,’ her voice echoed in his mind. ‘I’ve been following your work very closely.’ Donahue…the great and powerful Doctor James Donahue…Nobel laureate Doctor James Donahue melted in her presence like flaming marshmallows. He swallowed the throbbing pain in his throat and turned away.
He glanced up the street and was shocked by what he saw. He whirled and looked in the other direction. Strange, he thought, that he hadn’t noticed it until just then. In the light of day, West End was a completely different place than it had been before. Practically all of the first floor windows of the buildings had been shattered. It was clear the area had been ransacked by who knows who; no wonder the army was so aggressive. He lingered for a short time before he listlessly crossed the street and sat on the curb.
A few souls wandered about the streets. He sat watching in disconnected indifference, trying to remember what it felt like when life was normal. Maria was so excited when they came here. He was so love-struck. Jenkins was a pile of puke but he was right about one thing, Maria had made her choice. She chose Todd Riley. She could have had anyone…but she chose normal old everyday Todd Riley. That cocky little doctor didn’t have a chance.
He thought about how unhealthy it would be for him to spend the rest of his life dreaming of the way things could have been, but he decided to do it anyway. He probably should at least try to go through the motions…breathe, eat…. He made an agreement with himself to do those things, but only if they didn’t interfere with his dreaming of the way things could have been.
He pushed himself up from the curb and wandered back behind the hotel, found a dumpster, and jumped in. Within minutes, he had found a partially eaten donut. He popped it in his mouth for safekeeping and went back to digging in the trash. A sandwich came to the surface. He picked it up and sniffed it. Whew, he wheezed, throwing it back.
He found a complete orange. It was a little squishy but it wasn’t bad. As he continued to search, he realized he needed to find a dumpster that had been servicing a food store…a restaurant or something.
He jumped out and walked back towards West End. It wasn’t long before he found a fast food restaurant, moved to the dumpster and hopped inside.
“Eureka.” he said, pulling a full loaf of bread out of the rubble. He looked it over. It was a little moldy but he’d have to learn to make do. He was never all that picky anyway. He went back to digging and grunted when an entire box of chicken came into view. It had been hiding for who knows how long under a pile of slimy newspapers. He picked it up. The contents were still half frozen.
Suddenly, he was aware he was being watched. He whirled…. A child standing near the dumpster was watching him.
Todd glanced around him and returned his attention to the child. “Hi little girl. What are you doing there?”
The little girl didn’t answer.
“Are you ok? Where’s your mommy?”
“I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” the little girl said softly.
“That’s right…that’s a good idea.” Todd looked up and noticed a woman standing near the building.
She timidly moved towards him. “We’re hungry.”
Todd looked at the box of chicken and back at her. He tossed the box towards her. She let it hit the ground and quickly picked it up.
“Come, Meagan,” the woman said. “Let’s go. We’ll let the man find something to eat in peace.”
“Wait,” Todd yelled. “Here’s some bread.” He held the loaf up and tossed it in her direction.
“Thank you,” she said. She pulled the little girl towards her, turned and began making her way back towards the road. Then, without warning, she turned back. “Are those prison clothes?”
“Oh,” Todd said. “Yeah, I guess they are.” He reached into his pocket for his pardon.
“Are you a criminal?”
Todd dug deeper into his pocket, found his pardon and produced it. “No, I’m…not a criminal.”
The woman turned towards her daughter. “You stay here, Meagan. I need to talk to the man.” She left the little girl, moved back towards Todd and maneuvered herself close enough to the dumpster to be easily heard. “Will you take care of us?” she whispered.
“What?”
“Will you take care of us?” she repeated, looking back towards the child. “We don’t have a man.” She leaned closer to Todd. “I’ll do anything you want.”
Todd stared at her.
The woman blushed. “Never mind,” she said. She whirled and quickly walked back towards the child.
“No…no wait,” Todd said. “I didn’t mean—”
The woman turned back.
Todd jumped out of the dumpster. “Why do you think you need a man?”
“Shhh,” the woman whispered, looking at the child.
“Can we talk?” Todd said, motioning towards the back of the building.
The woman looked at her child. “Stay here, Sweetie. Mommy will be right back.”
She walked ahead of Todd until they were out of the little girl’s sight, stopped and began unbuttoning her blouse.
“Stop,” Todd said. “I just want to talk to you. You don’t need a man. All a man can do for you, at this point, is raid a dumpster or two."
“We need protection,” she said, buttoning up her blouse. “At night it gets…bad. I don’t know what tonight will bring.”
“You don’t need a man,” Todd said, “You need to find a gun or something. Find a willow tree and make a bow and arrow…a big dog…if things don’t work out, you can eat it. Find a place that can easily be defended. If anyone comes around at night…let em have it. I’m telling you, lady, there’s nothing a man can do that you can’t.”
“Help me find those things,” she whispered. “Please stay with us just a few days till we can find those things.”
Todd squinted down at her. “What’s your name?”
“Ashley…my name is Ashley.”
“Ashley, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re on your own now. No one is gonna help you because no one cares about you. No one cares about your kid! It’s up to you now. Stand up and take charge….Be a woman!” Todd was yelling.
Ashley backed away… “Fine…fine then,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry we bothered—” She whirled and ran around the corner of the building.
“Stupid woman,” Todd muttered under his breath. He paced back and forth behind the restaurant before pulling to a stop. "What’s wrong with me?" he moaned. "Why did I say that? Ashley!” he shouted, rounding the corner. “I’m sorr—” She and the little girl were gone.
He sat down hard on the pavement, grabbed two handfuls of his own hair and yanked.
“What have I become?” he yelled through clenched teeth.
~~~
“You should try Santana’s bed. It looks very comfortable.”
Maria lifted her forehead off the tiny port window. For over an hour she had been staring out at the vast Atlantic Ocean, slowly moving away beneath them. She looked up at Brother Michael. “What?”
“You really should get some rest, Little Miss. You haven’t slept in days.”
“I’ve been thinking about you,” she said.
“Really? Pleasant thoughts I hope.”
“I’m not sure…I’m wondering if I should be afraid of you.”
“Why would you be afraid of me?”
“You’re not a normal man at all, are you?”
“Yes, Little Miss, I’m a normal man.”
“Normal men don’t do the things you do, and…please call me Maria.”
Michael sat down next to her. “Maria it is.”
She was silent for a time fidgeting with the handkerchief in her hand. “How did you do that?” she said finally.
“How did I do what?”
“Ho
w did you fool the Army?”
Michael smiled.
“When the soldiers took us into that Colonel’s office,” she continued, “he wasn’t buying it…then something happened.”
“What did you see?” Michael said.
“He wasn’t falling for it until you put your finger up to his head and started threatening him.”
“What else did you see?”
“About the same time you put your finger up against his head the two soldiers in the office backed up against the wall and put the barrels of their own rifles under their own chins.”
Michael smiled. “And then?”
“And then…one of the men traveling with you, the little one with the big ears, tried to run out of the room, but the other one…the grumpy one, grabbed him and wouldn’t let him go.”
Michael laughed.
“One of the women traveling with you told them both to be quiet. After that…everything was… normal. Except then, the Colonel was in your hip pocket.” She paused a moment, looking deep into his eyes. “How did you do that?”
“It was the Father’s will.”
She sat quietly for a time. “Those men…” she said, breaking her silence, “the ones who were gonna take my baby….Was that real?”
“Some of it was real,” Michael said.
“Are they dead?”
“Yes.”
“I saw…terrible things. Did that really happen? Did they die the way I saw them die?”
“Yes. The Father returned them to their knees.”
“When you say Father, are you talking about God?”
Michael smiled. “God is such a broad word….” He took a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing. “Yes, yes, I suppose the Father is God, but then again, so am I…so are you.” Again he hesitated, carefully choosing his words. “We…human beings are mere extensions of what we think of as God. We are God, exploring our own creation from every standpoint, every angle, and every plain. God is us.”
“I…don’t understand,” Maria said.
“Think of your five senses. Babies learn about life through their five senses. God is the same way. He…we, explore our own existence through the trillions of souls who have ever lived, or will ever live in this world or the other worlds. God is the collective experience of all these beings….”