by Imogene Nix
Steve heard the pain and loss in her voice.
“It wasn’t a boy?”
She flinched at his question, and he knew he’d struck the final thorn in the wound. “I, uh... There was a boy.” She spoke quietly as her fingers twisted in her lap. Steve itched to reach out and unknot them, but he had to know everything. “What happened, Jenny?”
“Do I have to tell you?” There was a wealth of pain in her words, and his heart bled for her.
“I need to know why you keep me at such a distance.”
“Distance? I don’t think there was much of that in the middle of having sex, do you?” Her fingers flew to her lips, as if trying to shove the words back into her mouth.
“No, but what we had wasn’t just sex. So, what happened?”
She groaned. “It was the last year of high school, and I finally got the nerve up to ask this boy to the formal. He agreed, even though I had to really work hard to convince him. He was clever and athletic. You know the kind.”
He nodded. He knew the kind exactly.
“Anyway, he picked me up and it was a fantastic night. We doubled with Cara and her date. I was so sure I’d finally found a boy who accepted me for what I was. The real me, with all my lumps and bumps, but he didn’t.”
“What happened?” The words caught in his throat, nearly strangling him. He thought he knew what she’d say next, but didn’t want to hear that she’d been duped.
“We went to the after-party. There was alcohol, and I...stupidly let him talk me into drinking some, then some more. We had sex. The next morning, when I woke up at Cara’s, she told me I’d let him strip me off, he’d had me then showed his friends where I’d passed out, naked.” She shuddered. “After that, I couldn’t face school. The last three weeks were a nightmare.”
“But what about your parents?”
“I didn’t tell them everything. I couldn’t. I was so ashamed of myself and what I’d done. I told them they were teasing me because of my size, which was partly true. They’d started a rumor that I’d almost suffocated Kaden with the rolls of fat.”
His fingers fastened around the steering wheel, vise-like. He wished it were Kaden’s neck.
“In their eyes, all I had to do was suck it up. Learn to live with my size or slim down. And God knows, I tried...still try.”
As he glanced over at her, a single tear tracked down her cheek. His chest burned.
“Maybe...maybe now that I’m here in Queensland, my parents and I can...” She gulped, and he felt like a heel for making her pain worse. “Maybe we can reconnect again.”
“We’ll do it together.” He growled the words. And by God, if they didn’t, he’d keep her safe.
She laughed, a small, wet quaver. “I like the sound of that. Together.” She caressed his hand where it sat on the stick shift. “But you can’t keep me safe.”
He tensed, wondering if he’d somehow telegraphed his thoughts to her.
“I have to live with reality. That’s how I cope. One day at a time, one hurdle at a time. It works for me.”
“The three of us.” That sounded right. Jenny, Lola, and him. Together. “Let’s head back to Gino’s. It’s a weeknight and sure to be empty. We can grab something to eat and talk.” Jenny bit her lip again, and he wondered if she could accept his feelings and if she was ready to do something about it. Steve knew she was raw, inside and out, scraped emotionally by the betrayal.
“Sounds...” She had to clear her throat, her words croaky. “Yeah...sure.”
He slid one hand over hers. “Good.”
“Will Dave... Will he be able to find Jarvis?”
“There was a number. She must have thought it was safe, because she was using another SIM, though why she wouldn’t take it with her is a bit odd.”
“Maybe she was meeting him in Melbourne? That would explain why, when she said she was heading down, she had to use me as her alibi. It would also explain why she didn’t have the SIM on her.”
“You could be onto something there, but I’ll leave that to Dave to sort out. I’m not the police anymore.”
“How does that make you feel?” The psychologist in her raised its head, and he laughed.
“Fine, I’d actually become a little disenchanted—jaded if you will—by the whole hierarchy thing.” He threw her a smile as he pulled into the tiny pizzeria parking lot. “I joined just after my parents died, and I think it was because I felt like I could make a difference in the world that had lost two great people. I was in the car at the time of the accident. Dad lost control. They were killed instantly. I was thrown free, my seatbelt didn’t hold me, yet I survived with almost no injuries.”
She reached out and touched his hand again. “I’m sorry. That must have been so hard for you.”
“It took time to come to terms with it. I know I was living with survivor’s guilt for a while after. Now I just miss them.” He turned off the engine. “But tonight, I want to focus on you and me, on our relationship, because, before you say anything, that’s what we have.” He leaned over the console and kissed her softly on the lips.
“All right then, but before we begin our date, ring Dave and tell him what I think. Then we can enjoy our dinner without any other concerns. Oh, and ring Fiona to check on Lola, would you?”
He laughed, the sound carefree for the first time in a very long while, and a smile appeared on her lips. “You already sound like a mother!”
Steve settled Jenny at the table, and Gino hovered anxiously. He’d never really liked Cara, and in hindsight, Steve understood why. They’d only come here a couple of times, because Cara had groused about the fattening properties of the food.
He could hear her now, the last time they’d visited. But Steve, you know I’m not a big one for lots of carbs. We could have gone to the small Vietnamese place down the road. He’d had to wheedle her to choose something more than a green salad with mineral water. The diamond ring had weighed heavily in his pocket, but it had felt like an ill-starred time to propose.
This time, Jenny smiled broadly and hunted through the choices. “I really enjoy a traditional lasagna or even involtini di carpaccio. What are you planning?”
It was a refreshing change to be with someone who loved food, so he considered the choices. “All right, I’ll order the lasagna and you get the involtini and we can split it.”
Gino beamed. “Excellent choice, my friend, and your gorgeous lady should try the Chablis. I imported it for my best customers.” With a flourish Gino disappeared behind the curtain.
“Is he always like that?” Jenny reclined in the seat.
“No, only with people he likes. Jenny, I want to...” Before he could finish Gino returned with two glasses and the bottle of wine.
“Let me pour this, then I’ll leave you to talk.” He winked at Steve who nearly groaned. After Gino finished the task, he sashayed away again.
Jenny giggled. “Oh, that’s priceless. Is he expecting you to propose or something?”
Steve settled his nerves. “Something like that.”
Her eyes widened to large circles. “What?” The word escaped breathlessly between her pink lips.
“I mean...not exactly propose, but I asked you to stay...for Lola. But there’s more to this than that.”
Shock and surprise flickered over her features. “I’d forgotten the conversation in the car this morning.”
“I realize that. But Jenny, I want you to stay. We’ve got something between us. I love you, and I know you feel it too. I’m not asking for you to tell me you love me. I know you aren’t ready for that. We owe it to ourselves, though, to find out what it is. What more is there? I’m asking you to stay. With me.”
Liquid gathered at the corner of her eyes, leaving them shimmering in the flickering candlelight. “I’ve... No one ever cared enough to ask me to stay.”
“I do, Jenny. Please?”
He was almost afraid of her answer, but the need to be honest, to keep her here with him drove him on.
“I’m not going to be kept.”
He chuckled at the flash of temper and pride. “No, I’m not asking you to. We’ll look and find work for you. All I’m asking is that we try and see where this goes.”
She gave him a shy, hesitant nod, and his chest ballooned. “Okay, but I’ll still need to go back to Melbourne and collect my stuff.”
“We’ll go together, once this mess is sorted out.” She beamed. “Okay.”
Chapter 18
The phone rang as they drove home, both happy but tired after the drama of the day. “Can you answer that?” Steve asked.
Jenny reached down and picked up the phone. “It’s Dave.” She pressed the button on the phone. “Hi, Dave. It’s Jenny. What can I do for you?”
“We’ve got a line on Jarvis. But it’s bad. Really bad.”
The crackle of Dave’s voice over the hands-free unit had Steve frowning. “Details?”
“He’s got a criminal record as long as your arm. Assault, GBH, drugs...the list goes on.” Silence stretched.
“Background, Dave?”
“Not a lot. Came from Victoria.”
“Dammit!” Steve exploded.
“We think he was involved in a couple of heists too. With explosives. He’s dangerous and out of jail. We’ve checked his address, usual haunts, and are hunting down known contacts.”
“Keep me in the loop.” Steve’s growl ended the conversation, and the line went dead.
“Steve? Does he know where to find Lola? Could it be that she saw whatever happened?”
“I’m betting on both.”
“But then...”
“Yeah. We need to get home.” Steve accelerated down the highway.
The phone rang again as they drove in the direction of the estate, and Steve had an inkling that it couldn’t be good.
“Jenny, hun, answer the phone.”
The look she shared with him told Steve that she too felt the presentiment of danger. “Steve’s phone.” Her words were barely audible.
“Jenny, is Steve there?” Dave asked.
“I’m here.”
“Jarvis made it onto the estate. He’s...he’s holed up inside your house...with Lola and Fi.”
The clench in his stomach turned to marble. “How the fuck did that happen?”
“The gate was rammed.”
“Jesus.” Steve swiped his hand over his brow, dimly noting his hand shook. If Jarvis was somehow behind the mess that had caused Lola’s mutism, this would likely damage her further. And he’d left her there, thinking that a gated community, alarm system, and a single adult caring for her would ensure her safety. Anger arced through him.
“Pull over, Steve.” Jenny’s soft but firm words infiltrated his angry haze.
“We have to get home.”
“We do, but you’re in no fit state to drive. Getting us home in a hurry is one thing, getting there dead is something else.”
“Dammit, Jenny—”
“You’re angry, and I understand that, but right now, the last thing that will help her is if you’re in the hospital. She needs us once this is done, preferably in one piece. Now let me drive.”
“No, I’ll drive, but you’re right. I need to get control of myself. But Dave?” He didn’t know or care how much his friend had heard over the phone. “I’ll kill him if I get my hands on him. Understand me?”
“Dammit, Steve, I know how you feel. Fiona is in there too. But I can’t let you get involved. You’re not on the force anymore.” Dave’s voice sounded hoarse, and Steve understood the pressure he was under.
“Yeah, right. Just keep me informed.”
When the phone clicked off, Jenny covered his hand on the gearstick, gentle and reassuring. “Dave seems like a good man. He’ll do everything he can for Lola and Fiona.”
The bubble of anger spewed over. “How can you be so damned calm?” The minute the words were out, he regretted them.
Jenny gifted him a sad smile. “I’m not, but right now, I’m holding on to you and the knowledge that there are good people in Lola’s corner. It’s the best I can do.” She pulled her hand away from his and cupped his cheek. “Hope is a strong emotion. It’s the one I like best.”
He gave a nod, the lump in his throat stopping any chance of talking. She’d humbled him with her quiet words.
When they reached the gates, he saw the flashing lights of the police. The captain waited near the mangled metalwork, and Steve slid the car to a rolling stop.
“Sir?” The officer by the window looked at him, worry and concern etching his face.
When Steve had been at Cara’s earlier there had been none of that present, but he knew it was concern for his and Dave’s family. He was grateful for it on one level. On another, he felt the primal urge to go in and get Lola and Fiona out.
His muscles bunched and tightened. He pushed on the door, and the captain pushed back. “No, you can’t. You’re not on the force anymore.”
He shoved again, adrenaline coursing through his system. “I’m not going in, I promised Dave, but I need to know what’s going on.”
The captain sighed and released the door. Jenny clambered out of the other side and huddled up against him. His arm encircled her, hoping to give her some reassurance.
“What’s the situation? How is Lola coping?” Steve felt like his mouth had frozen up and Jenny’s warmth was the only thing that stopped his heart from seizing with fear.
“We’ve evacuated most of the surrounding houses. A negotiator has been talking on the phone with him, but it’s not looking good. We sent in the SWAT team, and they’re in position.”
“Lola and Fiona?” He placed a soft kiss on Jenny’s head when she trembled. He’d never stood on this side of a hostage situation. His appreciation of the strength of those waiting increased.
“We’ve spoken with Fiona, she and Lola are fine for now. They’re in the kitchen. The shooters can see the three of them.”
“Your plan?”
“Get them out without loss of life.”
The night dragged on. At some point, Dave was there, shoving a steaming coffee into Jenny’s hands. She stared at him blindly.
“Nothing much has happened. You and Steve could go back to my place...”
She shook her head before Dave could say anything further. Steve clearly felt the same with his emphatic, “No.”
Dave was tired and drawn. She reached out and grabbed his hand, hoping he’d accept the support. He smiled wanly and settled onto the tiny camp chair beside her.
From time to time, the captain would leave his huddle of advisors and police. Each time they’d look up, hopeful for good news.
“Nothing so far.”
The words tore at her, beat her down.
Around dawn there was movement. Jenny lifted her weary head. “What’s going on?” Steve and Dave both rose as the captain neared, his face grave.
“Jarvis has ceased communications. I don’t—”
A sound rang out, loud and shocking, and her heart stopped thudding in her chest. Men in Kevlar jackets and protective headgear ran through the gate in the direction of the house. She rose, legs unsteady, and Steve reached out. His hands were chilled, and the worse outcome flashed through her mind. Nausea, caustic and hot, rose in her throat. She fought it back. Stay calm for Steve.
Time was suspended while they waited. She watched the movement, but was now unable to move. Pain lanced through her. Lola?
Steve squeezed her hand. He threaded his fingers through hers, as if he understood her fears.
Dear God. Let her be okay. Let them both be okay. Her stomach churned, and time moved slowly. Cold invaded her body.
Why didn’t someone tell them what was going on? Surely by now they knew? She gulped as bile rose again.
The phone in the captain’s hand buzzed, and she heard him answer it. He turned away, cutting them off from the proceedings. She stared at his stiff back, her fingers gr
ipping Steve’s.
The captain turned, slowly, and for a moment, she feared what he was about to say, until she saw the smile on his face...tired, but triumphant.
“They’re fine. They’re okay.”
She breathed, gulping air. She’s alive. She’s fine.
Steve shuddered beside her, and she threw herself into his arms, laughing and crying. “She’s okay, Jenny,” Steve’s voice reassured her as he dotted kisses in her hair.
Tears dripped down her face, but she didn’t care who saw them. She rose up on tiptoe and kissed him on the lips.
She finally knew the truth. This man...this was the one she’d love until she died, and she didn’t care who knew it.
Steve was through the gate before Jenny, scooping up Lola, who cried silently in his arms. “It’s okay, Lola. Jenny and I are here. We won’t ever let anyone hurt you again.”
The child shuddered in his and Jenny’s embrace. “You bet. Lola, we love you so much.”
“Besides which, Jenny promised to stay with us. She’s not leaving...ever.”
Lola’s head popped up, tear tracks making their way down her face. She glanced in Jenny’s direction and held out her arms.
Jenny snuggled the girl close, and he smiled. The sight was the best thing he could ever hope for.
“Steve’s right.” Her smile was radiant as she kissed Lola’s cheek, and the little girl touched hers before she gripped on to Jenny’s shoulders. “I can’t leave the people I love most in life behind, so you’re kind of stuck with me.”
“You mean it?” The slow thud of his heart in his chest sped up.
“Yeah, I mean it.” She gazed into his eyes and kissed him. “You’re stuck with me.” Then Jenny laughed gaily.
The captain smiled at them. “We’ll need to talk to you later.”
“Sure, but right now, we’re going to find a hotel and get some sleep.” He ushered his family to the car. His family...Steve thought he could get used to that.
Epilogue