by Beth Flynn
I felt a spiral of heat coursing through my insides at the innocent endearment. Taking a sip of my coffee, I balanced the mug on the arm of the rocker and blurted out before I could stop myself, “Have you ever killed anyone?”
I peered over at him as he lifted the mug to his mouth, but instead of taking another sip he looked over at me.
“Not yet,” he told me with a mischievous smile. “But never say never.”
Chapter 18
Pumpkin Rest, South Carolina 2007
After a quick breakfast that was followed by an uncomfortable silence, Christian suggested they get out of the house and take in some fresh air. He didn’t know how long he’d be able to keep his hands to himself and hoped the cool mountain breezes would stave off some of the physical tension he knew was brewing between them. He sensed that Mimi felt it too. For as strong and confident as Mimi appeared to be, he noticed she couldn’t hold his gaze when there was a lull in their conversations.
He walked behind her as the sun broke through the trees casting rays that resembled sparkling shards of glass. As they made their way along the hiking trail that led away from the house, Christian couldn’t take his eyes off her perfectly round bottom. She was wearing canvas hiking shorts that weren’t tight, but couldn’t hide she had an ass you could bounce a quarter off of. She wore tan hiking boots and her legs were flawless. Not a freckle, scar or birthmark kissed her smooth skin. He couldn’t help but imagine them draped over his shoulders while he had his face buried—
“Look!” Mimi shouted. “It’s still a little early, but I think these are wild strawberries!”
Grateful that her outburst interrupted the porno playing in his head, Christian looked up to see that they’d happened upon a clearing.
“C’mon,” she yelled over her shoulder as she made her way toward a patch of the ripe red fruit.
Minutes later they were sitting on the ground enjoying the taste of the sweet berries and sipping on the water they’d brought with them. Mimi was wiping the juice from her chin when Christian told her, “I almost waited for you.”
Mimi looked over at him. He was sitting with his back against a tree and his forearms resting on his bent knees, one hand dangling the bottle of water he’d just recapped. Her forehead creased with curiosity. “Waited for me?" she questioned.
"All those years ago.” He squeezed the water bottle, the plastic crinkling in protest. “The morning after you babysat for Daisy. Instead of driving you home, you asked me to take you to the grocery store to meet up with your mom. Even though you told me not to wait for you, I almost did."
Mimi’s posture immediately changed. He watched her take a deep breath. “Why didn't you?”
Christian slowly shook his head. "I honestly don't know. I wanted to, but there was a nagging sixth sense that told me not to. That maybe it would've made you mad."
Mimi chewed on her bottom lip and averted her gaze. How could she tell him that his sixth sense to leave had been partially correct? She wouldn't have been angry at him, but it wouldn't have helped that he might've come face-to-face with the secret she'd been harboring since that day. Christian would've seen Grizz, and even though Christian had never met Grizz, Mimi was certain it wouldn't have taken him long to make the connection.
"I wouldn't have been mad at you, but I was already embarrassed about what happened in your truck." She looked at the ground. "What I did to your leather seat."
He didn't want her to relive the humiliation of staining his truck seat with her menstrual blood, so he changed the subject.
"I saw you once. You were in the mall, sitting on a bench talking to some woman,” he admitted. "I think it was about six months before Grizz's execution."
Mimi rolled her eyes. "That could only have been Leslie."
“Leslie?” He frowned before uncapping his water again and taking a long swallow.
Mimi shook her head and huffed, her exasperation obvious. “She was a reporter who was trying to get an inside scoop on my family. She persuaded me to convince my mother to give her an interview before Grizz’s death.” She closed her eyes and said, “I can’t believe I fell for it. Then again, I was just a stupid teenager.”
She shared with Christian the rift she’d caused in her parents’ relationship when Leslie threatened to reveal a secret that even her mother hadn’t known. Of course, the secret turned out to be false, but they hadn't known that at the time.
“One of the biggest mistakes of my life,” she confessed as she looked past Christian’s shoulder and stared at a deep gash in the tree he was perched against.
“One of the biggest?”
“Oh, there have been a lot more,” she replied with a sheepish grin.
He stood and walked over to her, extending his hand. She grabbed it and was surprised at how quickly and effortlessly he yanked her to her feet, right into his chest. She slammed into him and started to bounce backward when he grabbed both of her upper arms to steady her. She chanced a glance up at him and her eyes widened when she met his stare. Christian’s eyes made the bluebonnets she’d seen dotting the meadows appear dull and lifeless.
“You have strawberry juice on the side of your mouth,” he lied as he let himself imagine the taste of her lips. He was looking for any excuse to touch her face—even an imaginary drop of juice if it meant he could pretend to wipe it off.
Mimi licked her lips and started to raise her hand to her mouth when he grabbed it. He saw her wince and his eyes darkened when he noticed the black and blue bruises encircling her wrist. The handcuffs.
"I'm sorry for this, Mimi," he said, nodding at her wrist. He quickly pulled it to his mouth and laid a gentle kiss on the inside of it. He thought he heard her suck in her breath.
"It's nothing," she answered a little too quickly. "I shouldn't have pulled so hard."
"I shouldn't have shackled you to a post." He chuckled, but she could tell he was pained he was the reason for the marks. Before she could answer he added, "But I'd do it again, Mimi. I'd do it all over again for the chance to be standing here with you at this moment."
Christian watched as Mimi's eyes slowly wandered down to his mouth. He let go of her wrist and raised his hand to her cheek, caressing it softly with his thumb. He began to lower his mouth to hers when their eyes met. He could see the battle raging behind her dilated pupils. She wasn't sure about kissing him. Was it because she didn't want to cheat on her boyfriend? It didn't matter.
The loud shrill of a bird caused her to jump, breaking the spell. She took two steps back and swiped her hand through her hair. Without meeting his eyes, she bent low and scooped up her bottle. Turning her back on him, she headed toward the trail calling over her shoulder, "I feel like this is one big loop and we'll be coming back up on the house."
The path was narrow so Christian had no choice but to follow her. He didn't mind. He would soak up as much of her as he could over the next few days. He would never tire of being with her. Just like when they were children, being with Mimi soothed his soul. He couldn't explain how he knew, even as a kid, that they were connected. There was an undercurrent that tugged at their souls. Even though she seemed to be in denial, he was certain she'd felt it too, but somewhere along the line it changed for her.
"What happened?"
"What happened to what?" She continued along the path.
"What happened to us? When we were kids? I know we lived on opposite sides of the state, but our mothers did a good job of making sure we got together regularly. And it couldn't have been easy for them. It was at least an hour and a half one way. But they made sure our friendship stayed intact."
Mimi finally stopped and turned around to face him. She reached out and subconsciously fiddled with a stray branch, stroking the leaves between her fingers.
"Maybe they were trying to make sure their friendship stayed intact."
He nodded. "Possibly. But even if that was the case, we were still best friends. Do you remember your mom driving to our house with a car full of Girl
Scout cookies a couple times?"
Mimi's face broke out into a wide grin. "Yes! And your mother took us to a few different neighborhoods. They walked along behind us as we pulled them in a wagon and knocked on doors." She burst out laughing.
"What?" Christian asked.
"I remember you yelling at every person that didn't want to buy them until our mothers finally threatened to pack us up and drive us home if you didn’t stop doing it."
"That sounds like me," he said with a sideways grin. "Do you remember when I tried to teach you to ride my bike? My dad had just had our driveway paved and you fell. You got pretty banged up. I remember you had tar and gravel embedded in your knees and elbows."
"I remember you trying to carry me back up the driveway and I was too heavy for you so you dropped me and then fell on top of me," she laughed.
"I didn't drop you!" he shouted. "I tripped."
"You dropped me. Admit it. You were what? Eight? You weren't strong enough to carry me then."
Mimi noticed the mischievous glint in Christian's eyes as he lunged for her and scooped her off her feet.
"Not strong enough, huh?" he teased as he broke into a full run.
"Stop!" she screamed, but the playfulness in her voice told him she didn't want him to.
Just like Mimi had guessed, the trail was a circle and Christian slowed down when the house came into view. He was now standing at the edge of the yard.
With her arms wrapped around his neck Mimi looked up to see why he wasn't returning her to her feet.
"So, what happened?” he asked, piercing her with his stare.
She swallowed and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't really know, Christian. Life happened? My mom had another baby and it was getting harder to pack Jason up and make the drive. And I think your mom was having a hard time controlling you. Do you remember the last time we came for a visit?"
He nodded. "I remember every detail of every visit with you, Mimi."
Mimi's eyes widened in surprise. "I think you were ten. The police showed up while we were there. You had stolen someone's motorcycle and hid it somewhere on your property."
With their eyes still locked he slowly lowered her to the ground. "I stole it for you. I was trying to show off," he admitted.
She tried not to smile. "It was a pretty big feat for a ten-year-old. How did you steal a nine-hundred-pound Harley?"
"I was almost eleven and it was a much smaller bike," he corrected. "But it still wasn't easy."
"I'm sure it wasn't." Her smile faded and her face grew serious.
"After that was a weird time for me, Christian." She kicked at the grass, distracted. "It all changed for me when I was about eleven or twelve."
"Yeah, so it was hormones for you too?" he asked.
She looked up. "What?"
"Hormones. We may have only been on the cusp of puberty, but didn't you feel like it was getting awkward toward the end? Like we noticed each other a little differently?"
"No." She shook her head. "I wasn't thinking that." She looked away and asked, "Have you ever screwed up so badly you convinced yourself that it actually changed the course of your life?" She stole a glance and saw him nod. "When I was eleven, maybe twelve, I made the first big mistake of my life. I thought I was a super sleuth. I even convinced myself that I wanted to go into investigative journalism.” She tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Anyway, I was trying to do something good, but it turned out all wrong. I managed to break into my parents’ safe, and discovered my original birth certificate."
She felt his arms go around her as he pulled her into a hug.
"That's when you found out about Grizz." Christian pressed his chin against the top of her head. It was a statement, not a question and he felt her nod.
She pulled back and looked up at him. "Everything in my world changed at that moment, Christian. I was so mad at my parents for keeping it from me. It consumed me for the next few years. I shoved everything and everyone I loved away from me. I existed only in an angry vacuum I'd created. I didn't allow myself the luxury of remembering a happy childhood—our happy childhood."
Since it was already a source of contention between them she decided not to mention that she purposely suppressed more of those memories after she received his letter. With both hands Mimi reached for one of his and held it tightly. "I remembered seeing you in the hospital waiting room when my father was shot and how angry you seemed. After he died, my mother reminded me of our friendship. I made light of it because I had convinced myself that those memories were exaggerated."
"I was mad," he countered, an angry edge to his voice. He remembered the day clearly as they all waited at the hospital for word of Tommy Dillon’s condition. "You were gushing all over Slade if I remember correctly."
She dropped his hand. "And that was a result of yet another one of my huge mistakes," she told him, her lips forming a thin line.
They both stared, each waiting for the other to say something.
Mimi crossed her arms in front of her. "Are you going to tell me that Slade never told you what happened to me? What he saved me from?"
"He didn't have to tell me because I already knew," Christian replied, giving her a sympathetic look. "I was the one—"
“Ugh!” Mimi interrupted. "I should've known it would've gotten out. Especially in the biker community. I mean, everyone but me knew that Grizz was my real father so why wouldn't they know about this too?” She threw her hands up in the air and turned her back on him before adding, “I guess I should consider it a miracle that my parents never found out what happened that night.”
Mimi trodded off toward the house in an embarrassed huff, missing Christian’s response.
"Slade didn't have to tell me, Mimi, because I was the one who told him to save you."
Chapter 19
Pumpkin Rest, South Carolina 2007
"So much for happy memories," I muttered to myself as I marched up the front porch steps and let myself into the house. I heard Christian say something to me as I walked away, but I couldn't make out the words and didn't want to hear them anyway. I was certain he would've only added to my humiliation. The memory of the horrible event that had inspired my decision to retain my virginity enveloped me as I headed for the kitchen. Like a madwoman, I started opening up cabinets and pulling out food.
I barely noticed when he came up behind me until I heard him say, "I guess it's a good thing I stocked up on groceries."
I swung around. I had an unopened package of Mallomar cookies in one hand, and clutched a bag of Cheetos to my chest with the other.
"I'm starving from our walk." I carried both goodies to the back deck and plopped down in an Adirondack chair. I started with the Cheetos and refused to look at him when he took the seat next to me.
"Are you gonna eat the whole bag yourself or are you gonna share?"
The deep timber of his voice stopped me mid-bite. Without looking over I passed him the Mallomars.
"You can start with these, but save me some. They're my favorite cookies," I confessed, still refusing to look at him.
"That's why I bought them," he replied.
My head snapped to face him and I stiffened. The enormity of everything that had transpired in the last two days felt like an anvil pressing down on my chest. I could feel my heart straining against muscle and bone as it threatened to burst out of my body. I recognized the look he was giving me. It wasn't anger or revenge or pain. It wasn't even lust or desire. Those emotions may have been there, but that wasn't what fueled Christian.
"How could you possibly remember that Mallomars are my favorite cookie?" I challenged, my voice shaky.
"I told you before, Mimi. I remember everything." His tone was smooth and casual but his eyes told a different story.They held a wildness that caused the hair to stand up on the back of my neck. I sat up on the edge of the chair, reeling at what I'd recognized in his expression. It was the same look I’d seen Grizz give my mother for the past several years.
&nb
sp; Rolling up the almost empty bag of Cheetos, I folded my hands in my lap and looked at the boards of the deck. I immediately focused my attention on an ant that was staggering beneath the weight of a huge orange crumb.
And like that crumb, we staggered beneath the weight of the silence between us. I slowly looked up, and once again, met his penetrating gaze. Christian’s eyes weren’t those of a lovesick boy. Like my father’s, they were the eyes of a man who didn’t ask permission, apologize or make excuses for himself. Men who claimed ownership of what they considered rightfully theirs. Christian was a man who knew what he wanted, and took what he wanted without considering or caring about the consequences. Something resembling a cross between apprehension and longing lodged in my throat as I realized the magnitude of what Christian had done.
Christian had taken me.
I abruptly stood up, letting the bag of Cheetos fall to the ground. Swiping the pack of cookies from Christian's hand I briskly announced, "I'm sweaty from our hike. I'm going to take a shower."
He didn't say a word as I flounced off toward the bathroom chased by his sharp blue glare.
Chapter 20
Pumpkin Rest, South Carolina 2007
Once inside the bathroom I noticed our phones still charging on the counter. Not that it mattered. The lack of service was frustrating and Christian hadn't felt the need to enforce his cell phone ban since our truce. I'd used my phone twice since last night, texting Bettina to ask about Josh's condition, but it didn't look like they'd gone through. And if by chance they had, I hadn’t received a response from her.
I sighed as I returned my phone to the counter. Glancing at the locked door, I picked up Christian's cell and was both disappointed and relieved that it required a passcode to open it. I wanted to search his contacts for the name tattooed on his arm. Maybe it was better that I didn't know.