by Elle East
He turns around and looks at me seriously. I’m taken aback. I feel like this is the first time I’m seeing the real Brax, the one without the tough guy veneer, without the attitude, the walls, the mean sense of humor. I suddenly realize that the only other time I saw this guy, the real him, was for a split second when I was straddling him on the basketball court.
“I promise nothing bad will happen to you. You can trust me.”
I must be dumb because I kind of believe him.
“Don’t make me use a favor,” he says only half-jokingly.
He can see that I’m still hesitating and sighs. “It’s just Theo and me this time. Alec and Daire are busy doing something.”
I think it over. I’m not doing anything better right now, I’m just eating lunch in the creepy basement, and despite everything I kind of trust Brax when he tells me I’ll be safe. Maybe I’m just passed the point of caring? Maybe I’m self sabotaging. I need a distraction from this depressing hellhole, anyway.
I also realize with dread that I’ve started to crave the excitement being around them brings.
“Plus.” He sweetens the deal. “We’ll even buy you lunch.”
That decides it. “Fine.” I walk over to him and he smiles. It’s a cute smile, makes his dark eyes sparkle—stop thinking stuff like that!
“What kind of food do you like?” he asks me as we walk out of the school and towards the parking lot.
“I like French cuisine.”
Brax snorts and looks at me incredulously, and then I realize that’s the most “rich girl” answer I could have given. I try to think of more. “And I like Japanese and—”
“Seriously?” he asks. “Do you like anything we can get in Marter or do we have to drive to another state for lunch?”
“And Italian,” I say sharply. I’m annoyed that he’s making fun of me.
“Now that we can do. Always good Italian places in a mafia town.”
We see Theo in the distance leaning against a weirdly shaped black car. As we get closer, I realize why it’s a weird shape.
“Is that a hearse?” I ask, dumbstruck.
Theo grins. “Yep!”
The car is a large, shiny, black vintage hearse.
“Fixed it up myself, took about a year and a half to get it like this. Like it?”
“Why—why do you have a hearse?”
“I love weird vintage cars—the weirder the better. Hop in.” He opens the back door for me.
“I’m not getting in the back of a hearse!”
“Take a look inside. There are no dead bodies or anything in there.”
“This is kind of at odds with you telling me I’ll be safe, Brax,” I say and take a small, cautious step closer so I can see inside.
There’s no coffin or dead bodies back there. The space actually looks really inviting. There are two rows of seats installed, facing each other and covered in red leather. There’s also a small kitchen area.
“Those seats fold down to make a bed,” Theo adds and I shoot him a look. “Not that you need that right now.”
Brax claps his hands together impatiently. “Ok, let’s get going. You can have the front seat if you want, Highness.”
“No, I’ll sit in the back.” I’d rather be by myself than up front with Theo.
I hop in and take a seat on the smooth leather. It’s actually really nice back here and I’m impressed Theo did this himself. Obviously there're no seatbelts though and I’m annoyed about that. I hope he doesn’t drive like Brax and actually drives safely.
We drive to a street about ten minutes away that has shops lining each side. On the way there Brax is joking around with Theo and they try to include me—which I resist at first, but then slowly can’t help but join in.
Brax is making fun of Theo’s driving. Theo drives like an old lady going to church because he’s scared of getting a scratch on his precious car. It’s kind of funny to see such a big and scary man driving like this—it’s so unexpected.
Most of the stores are out of business and look like they’ve been that way for a long time. I can see “Going Out of Business Sale” signs hanging in the windows, yellowed with age. The street is deserted, and it’s actually creepy.
We pull to a stop in front of a small shop with a coat of dust on the windows so deep that you can’t see inside. There’s an old “Final Sale” poster hanging.
I’m surprised to realize that I don’t want the car ride to be over. Even though they are part of the Vicious Crew, joking around with them makes me feel less lonely. Theo and Brax seem less intense when it’s just the three of us, more relaxed.
We walk around the building to the back door and Theo knocks. A couple seconds later a girl answers it and welcomes us in. She’s probably a couple years older than us and dressed like a more toned-down version of Theo’s sister. She has pink pastel streaks in her hair and two nose rings on the same nostril. She’s wearing a tight black dress with a subtle corset pattern sewn in with black ribbons—it’s actually kind of cute, nothing I could ever wear, but cute.
The inside of the shop is shocking compared to the outside—especially because I thought this was an abandoned building. The place is packed floor-to-ceiling with clothes. There are old Persian rugs on the ground and one corner of the room has every type of wig imaginable. Another full corner is dedicated to makeup. It’s dimly lit because the window is so dirty it barely lets any light through, but the space is illuminated with a soft glow from a dozen old lamps.
Theo and Brax are still joking around and I wonder if being away from Daire eases the tension that seems to surround the crew—and speaking of the devil, the devil himself is sitting on one of the antique couches.
Daire turns to look at us as we walk in to the room, and Brax and Theo get noticeably quieter. I wish he wasn’t here. It feels ten times more uncomfortable now.
He’s splayed out casually, legs spread wide, but he never seems really at ease. He’s always watching everything and trying to control the world.
There’s another girl in the room who waves when we enter. The two girls look very similar and I realize they must be twins. The new one has blue pastel streaks in her hair instead of pink, but she’s wearing the same dress as the one who let us in.
“Hi! I’m Tiffany and that’s my sister Melinda,” she introduces herself to me. “We’re the Perez twins and this is our store.”
“It’s really nice,” I say honestly. It’s not the luxurious designer stores that I’m used to shopping in, but it’s somehow better, more real.
“Thanks! So we are going to be dressing you today. We were told that you need a whole new wardrobe that’s more, uhh…” She eyes me up and down, trying to find the right words. “More appropriate for around here.”
“What?” I turn to Brax but he just nods like “duh, of course you need new clothes,”.
Daire’s dark voice cuts in like a knife. “If you’re going to be hanging out with us, you need this. You can’t stand out so much.”
“Well, I don’t want to hang out with you so I guess I don’t.” I cross my arms.
He looks at me and his eyes flash lightening. I know I’m pushing it. I know they can hurt me but I don’t care. It’s not worth living in fear for the rest of my life. I’m just going to be the real me and the consequences be damned.
“You can start getting her stuff,” Daire says with finality.
The twins pause for a second, unsure of what to do or how to handle the silent battle raging between Daire and I.
“Uh, ok,” Melinda says and both twins start gathering things from the racks and putting them in a corner of the room that’s sectioned off by a velvet curtain.
There’s complete silence, the only sounds are from the twins walking and the rustling of clothes. Neither Daire nor I want to be the first to look away. My back is starting to sweat with the tension, but I’m not giving up first.
Finally, Brax can’t take it anymore and he adds, “No one around here could afford ev
en one of your skirts, so it’s a problem. Pretty much everyone at school wants to kick your ass because they think you’re a stuck-up bitch.”
“And they aren’t wrong,” Daire says and my mouth tightens. I’m fuming. “So we are fixing it,” Daire finishes and I don’t know if he means they are fixing my clothes or fixing the fact that I’m a “stuck-up bitch”.
The twins exchange glances. They aren’t sure what to do, but they hesitantly continue collecting clothes.
“Does she need makeup too?” Melinda asks Daire.
“No,” I say.
“Yes,” Daire says.
Melinda looks between the two of us. She turns away, mouths “yikes”, and starts setting up the makeup station.
“My makeup is fine. I’m not dressing like I did when we went to the motel,” I say and both twin’s ears perk up and they look at us with raised eyebrows. I barely notice.
“This won’t be as extreme.” Daire glares at me.
Soon the dressing room is set up with a ton of stuff for me to try on. The entire time we’ve been waiting has been spent in awkward silence and I’m so relieved to have something to break the tension that I practically run behind the velvet curtain. I breathe out a sigh of relief as soon as I’m away from Daire.
I look over the clothes and they are ok. There’s a lot of black. They look like more subdued versions of the outfits all the girls at school wear.
“Let us know if you need any help with anything!” Tiffany calls in.
“Ok, thanks!” I call back then mumble to myself, “Lets just get this over with.”
I take off my beige cable-knit sweater and gray ankle-length slacks and start trying things on. At first I can’t get into it. All I see are clothes that I would have never in a million years worn. Nothing in this entire dressing room—besides my sweater and pants—would be acceptable to wear back at home.
Home.
It’s not home anymore. When that painful realization dawns on me, I start to be more open-minded with the clothes. I’ll probably never need to answer to anyone back home ever again so I can wear whatever I want.
When I start giving the clothes a chance, I find out that I actually like some of them. I never knew how comfortable hoodies and yoga pants could be.
“Aren’t we going to get to see any of them?” Brax practically whines through the curtain.
“No!” I call back.
I can tell he’s getting bored. Brax likes to keep on the move, always doing something. Waiting for some chick he doesn’t even care about to try on clothes must be torture for him.
Finally, I’m finished and I have a small, but decent sized, pile of new clothes. With these, I won’t stand out at Marter High anymore. I don’t want to give Daire any credit, but this was actually a good idea. It’ll be a lot easier to get through my last semester of high school when I don’t stand out so much.
“I’ll take these,” I tell the closest sister.
Dare stands up and walks over to tower over us. With surgeon-like detachment he examines what I’ve chosen. He throws a couple pieces onto my discard pile.
“Hey!” I protest, but I don’t protest much. He knows better than I do what passes as “acceptable” in Marter—I begrudgingly admit that.
When he’s finished his purge, he heads over to the racks, takes down a couple things and throws them on the pile in my arms.
“She’ll take all these.”
“Great! I’ll just ring them up, Daire,” Tiffany says and takes the pile from my arms.
She’s smiling at him and batting her eyelashes. I can’t help but roll my eyes. Does every girl fall for his defined jaw and intense green eyes?
Melinda leads me over to the makeup area.
“Have you ever considered using, I don’t know, just… more?” she asks.
“Like what?”
The makeup I wear is the kind that takes forever to put on, only to look like you aren’t wearing anything at all and you’re just naturally perfect.
“Like maybe blush?” she asks.
“I do!” I protest.
“Yeah, but you can barely tell, you know? What’s the point if no one can tell?”
“To look natural, I guess?”
She scrunches up her nose.
“I think you’d be fine if you just did a little more. Go a little heavier. Here.” She puts a couple products in a bag and hands them to me. “You do know how to do a smokey eye, right?”
“Of course.”
“Well just do that, a little more blush, and I put some bright pink lipstick in there that’ll look nice with that.”
“Ok, thanks.”
I’m glad we aren’t doing another full makeover like back at Theo’s sister’s place. I just want to get out of here, and besides it’s probably time for school, anyway. I look at my phone—we’ve missed most of third period.
“We have to go,” I call over to the guys. “We’re missing class right now.”
None of them seem very concerned. Typical.
The twins pack up my clothes and put them in black bags.
“How much do I owe you?” I ask.
Before they can answer, Daire steps in between us. He counts out several hundred-dollar bills and hands it to them.
“Enough?” he asks.
They both practically swoon and say, “Yes! Thanks, Daire!”
“I can pay for it,” I say firmly, annoyed that he’s taking over like always.
“As you so obviously made it clear we are forcing you to hang out with us, so I’m buying.”
I don’t want to fight—I also don’t want to waste any of my five thousand dollars on clothes when I already have plenty. I don’t know when I’m going to see money like that again—which is so crazy to think about because not long ago five thousand would have been nothing. Five thousand was a purse.
We all start to head out when I hear Tiffany talk softly to Daire. “Were you going to text me back? I thought we had a really good time.”
Melinda also whispers, “Or me? I put out quicker than her.”
My lip curls in disgust and I hurry out of the store. I don’t want to hear that. Those girls are so desperate it’s kind of gross. Daire is a psychopath—and also an asshole—why would they be throwing themselves at a guy like that? What girl would be dumb enough to fall for him?
Theo, Brax and I walk back to the hearse. I put all my bags in the backseat and hop in, and we start driving back to school.
“Isn’t Daire coming with us?” I ask.
“He’s doing his own thing. He has stuff to do this afternoon,” Brax answers casually without turning around.
“Wait, we’re leaving him there with those girls?” I ask in a tone that sounds way more upset than I mean it to.
Brax turns around with a suspicious look on his face. “Why do you care?”
“I don’t,” I say sharply and turn to look out the window.
I don’t care that he’s hooking up with those twins right now. Not at all.
15
They buy me a sub sandwich on our way back to school, but I’ve lost my appetite. I don’t get in trouble for missing class because the teachers are so burned out dealing with stabbings and drugs that they don’t care. It’s kind of crazy that I can now get away with anything. There are no rules anymore.
That evening when I go to the washroom I see Brax out the window, smoking in the backyard. I don’t know what possesses me, but I go down to talk to him.
He looks surprised when I step outside onto the sagging porch. His eyebrows raise questioningly and he holds out his hand to offer me a cigarette. For the first time I notice what the lettering on his knuckles says, “LOVE”.
I wave it off, saying that I don’t smoke, but then I think, why not? I reach out and grab one of the black cigarettes. Our fingers touch for a brief second and his are warm even in the cold night air. He flicks on his lighter and I lean close to light it, smelling his shampoo and spicy ginger scent.
I lean back
and inhale shallowly. I still end up coughing and Brax laughs, smoke pouring out of his nostrils.
“Have you ever smoked before?” he asks.
“I’ve tried it once or twice. It’s not really my thing—you know, what with the cancer and everything.”
He shrugs. “We die sooner rather than later, what’s the difference?”
He takes a deep drag and exhales gray smoke into the dark. I study him for a bit. His angular features, badass clothes and attitude cover it well, but I can suddenly see just how lost he is.
“It’s kind of depressing around here, isn’t it?” I ask, taking another small inhale of the sweet tasting smoke and try not to cough.
Brax agrees with a laugh. “You have no idea.”
“I definitely do.”
He looks at me suddenly, and something unnamable seems to pass between the two of us.
“You’ve only been here for a few weeks, imagine being here your whole life. Not knowing anything else.”
“You’re right, I can’t imagine that, but coming from a world that’s the opposite of this, it’s insanely hard to be here. I don’t understand this place at all.”
Brax studies me and his eyes narrow as if he’s considering something he’s never thought of before. I don’t enjoy being under his scrutiny so I look away and change the subject.
“You told me Daire wasn’t going to be there today. You lied after telling me I could trust you.”
It hurt more than I would have thought, because I had really started thinking I could trust him.
“I didn’t know he was going to be there—honest. He told Theo and I to take you and that he was busy. I honestly had no idea. I wouldn’t have lied to you on purpose because I want you to be able to trust me.”
“Why? Why would you care?”
He opens his mouth, about to say something, but then stops. He’s holding himself back—but I guess I am too.
He just shrugs. “If you’re going to be around us, it’s better if we trust each other, you know?”
I can tell that’s not the full reason, but I’m kind of scared to find out the rest.