by Levi, Casey
As she turned to head towards the restrooms in the building, she felt Reed walk up beside her and grabbed a hold of her hand. They had not had much time to talk, but then again, the moment they shared was too personal to be talked about in front of their friends. Kristen felt like there was so much to say to him, and even though she had no regrets over what had happened between them, there was still this little nagging feeling deep inside her gut that would not shut up. She could not stop the question from forming in her head, ‘why now?’ It was not something that had crossed her mind until she woke up, and for some reason it was bothering her.
Letting go of his hand, she walked into the lady’s room without saying anything to him. She tried to play it off as nothing, and she hoped that Reed had not noticed. As she was reaching to lock the door, she stumbled back in surprise when Reed walked in shutting and locking the door behind him.
“Kristen, are you okay?” She could see the tightening of his jaw as he fought his emotions, but the hurt in his tone had not gone unnoticed to her.
She bit down on her bottom lip nervously. Was she okay? She had felt okay just moments ago, but now… now she was not so sure. Why was her mind going to start over analyzing everything, and ruin what was supposed to be a perfect moment? She glanced up at him through lowered lashes and flinched without meaning to at the hurt look in his blue eyes. It was quickly gone and replaced with an indescribable look. Why couldn’t she just tell him how she was feeling? Just open up, and clear the doubts away?
Reed steeped closer to her and put a finger under her chin so she looked up at him. His blue eyes searched hers for answers that she could not bring herself to give him, and she hated herself at that moment. She was hurting him, and it was not fair. She had never wanted to hurt him. Ever.
“Is it me?” His voice was hardly a whisper, but to her it was like a siren blaring in her ears. But she still could not find the words to speak. “Kristen, will you please talk to me? Did I do something wrong?”
Turning her head away from him, he let his hand fall to his side. “I just can’t talk right now…” Her voice trailed off as she held back her sob.
She knew that if she spoke her voice would crack, and she wanted to figure out exactly what was wrong with her before she opened up to him. What if this was just a temporary doubt? She did not want to hurt him or accuse him of something she was unsure of. What was she to do?
There was a long pause, and then Reed finally said. “Do you regret what happened this morning?”
The tears began to prickle at the back of her eyes. How could she make him feel that way? To question her about something that was so sweet and special to her? To have doubts about his intentions. She had wanted him, and not only this morning, but since the first time they had met. She had needed him for so long, and now that he needed her, where was she? She could not bring herself to say the simplest words to him. What was wrong with her?
The door opening had her pulling her attention back to him. She could see the walls building up around him, and she could not do anything to stop him. He was pushing her out, and it was her fault.
He stopped just outside the door and looked up at her. “I don’t know what’s going on, but you’ve made it pretty clear…” He let his voice trail off, and the door shut behind him as he walked away.
Kristen leaned up against the door, and slowly slid to the floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest as the tears silently fell from her eyes. What had she done? Why couldn’t she get up off that floor, and go after him? The anger was building up inside of her, and she could not hold in the agony of it anymore. Burring her face in her hands, she let it out. She was screaming on the inside, and her heart was breaking from the pain she had seen in his eyes. She had not thought about the consequences of her actions until now. She had wanted this. She knew what it meant when Reed took her up to that room, and she flat out told Julie that she had wanted to have sex with Reed. So why was she acting like this? Was this some twisted emotion that no one had bothered to tell her about?
She knew that she needed to fix this, and even if that meant looking like a damn fool, she was going to tell him. She did not regret it. She wanted to be in his arms, to just cry and scream. To know that everything was going to be okay. Not only between them, but with everything else that was going on. She could not lose him now.
Slowly, she took in a deep breath and climbed off the floor. Walking over to the sink, she had not bothered to look at her refection. She did not want to face the guilt. She turned on the water and splashed the cold liquid on her face. Kristen knew that now was the time to not only be honest with herself, but she needed to be honest with Reed. She was going to tell him everything.
* * *
Reed walked away from the restroom, leaving Kristen alone. He could feel the ache in his heart, but it was quickly replaced with anger. Did she regret sleeping with him? He played it out in his head a million times over, and thinking back, she had seemed to want it as much as he had. She seemed too had want him. He had asked her, and more than once. But he could not help wondering if he had pressured her. What happened within the last few hours? He did not get it. What had he done? Did he scare her? His mind could not wrap around it, and it was driving him crazy.
He had not thought about what it would be like after, but he did not think that it would be this way. Reed had never thought it would be this way though. In fact, he never had been in this kind of a relationship. The feelings that he was feeling inside were new to him, and he did not know if he liked it. Yes, he loved Kristen, and yes, he wanted to be with her, but he did not want to be in this type of relationship where they could not talk to each other.
“What’s up bro?” He looked up to see Aran staring at him, and he could tell something was up. “You good?”
“Yeah.” He grated out through clenched teeth. “Fucking peachy.”
Reed needed to clear his thoughts. He could not deal with this right now, and even though he wanted to, and he should have tried staying to talk to her, he knew there was no point right now. In time if she wanted, she would talk to him. He had thought about the possibility of it being a woman thing; something about the first time making them all emotional. Who knew? He pushed his thoughts down, and even though it hurt, he pushed Kristen away too. His thoughts were getting more complicated than he would like to admit, but damn this was a mess.
14
Chapter Fourteen
“Is everyone ready to go?” They all gathered around the car as Aran spoke up and made sure that they were all there.
No one really said anything as they all piled into the car. Reed sparked the car to life for Aran and climbed into the passenger seat. Kristen could not help but stare at him but leaning her head against the window she closed her eyes. All she could think about was the pain in his eyes as he walked away from her. He would not even look at her, but she did not blame him. She could not even look at herself. She had hurt him. She was not sure how to fix this, but she would find a way to make it right. She made a promise to talk to him the first chance she got.
Kristen could feel the heaviness of her eyes; crying did that to her. She let her eyes drift closed. The need to rest was consuming her, because right now she could not deal with everything that was going on. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she rested her head against them.
Thoughts of Reed pushed their way to the front of her mind, and she could feel the tears again. She hated being so emotional sometimes and wished that she could just turn it off. It really was so stupid of her to think that after everything they had been through, she still found it hard to talk to him. And not only that, but why the childish games? She could not explain why she had felt the way she did, or why it mattered so much. She knew that when Reed had told her he loved her, he meant it, and she had meant it when she said it back. She had always loved him, and just because he chose now to tell her, and sleep with her, it did not mean he never cared about her. Right?
Suddenly Kristen’s eyes
flew open as she heard a loud bursting noise, and the car skidded across the road. Aran swore as he fishtailed down the hillside off the highway and slammed on the breaks. Dirt and gravel went flying around them, and they were left in a cloud of dust. Her heart was pounding in her chest from the surprise wake up, and she wondered how long she had been out for. It had not felt like long, but when she looked out the window as the dust began to clear, she did not recognize anything.
“Holy shit…” Julie breathed out as her hand rested against her chest.
“Is everyone alright?” Reed turned around in his seat, and as his eyes landed on Kristen he looked away.
She looked around at everyone in the car, and they all looked more shocked then anything. Aran began to swear profoundly under his breath, and she wondered what they had hit. Her mind went back to the last crash they had been in, and she was thankful that this was not as bad.
“I’m not sure what the hell just happened.” Aran swung his door open and climbed out. She watched as he walked around the car to the passenger side and knelt. “Shit!”
“What is it?” Reed opened his door and looked down at Aran.
“We blew a tire. Dammit to hell…” Aran stood up and kicked the tire as he ran an agitated hand through his hair.
Reed leaned over the driver seat and pulled the button to release the trunk. “Maybe there’s a spare…” His voice faded as he climbed out of the car, shut the door, and walked towards the back of the car.
Kristen could barely hear Reed and Aran’s muffled voices as they opened the trunk, but the string of curses coming from Aran was loud enough to hear. The trunk slammed shut, and it caused Julie to jump next to her. Kristen opened her door and climbed out of the car. She was assuming that there was not a spare, and in a way, it scared the crap out of her. There was nothing in sight and would not be for miles. She did not like the idea of walking to the next town, or until they passed a car. ‘
Great. This just keeps getting better and better.’ She thought.
“I’m assuming there isn’t a spare. So, what do we do?” Kristen looked up to see the sun only had a few hours left before it left them surrounded by darkness. “We can’t walk out here at night. It’s too dangerous.”
“No shit Kristen. You don’t think I already know that?” Turmoil radiated from Aran, and even though this was not the first time, nor would it be the last time she had seen his anger, she did not like that it was turned on her.
“Dude, you don’t have to be such a dick to her.”
“Well maybe she shouldn’t be stating the obvious. Like I do not know the risk of walking in the dark, and if she is so worried about it, then she can find a tire her damn self.” Aran kicked the trunk a few times.
Anger quickly replaced the fear she had moments ago. “I may be stating the obvious, but at least I’m not throwing a fit like a child.” She knew it was childish to pick a fight with him, and that it was not going to get them anywhere.
Aran scowled at her. “God, you can be so annoying sometimes.”
“The feeling is mutual…” Kristen mumbled under her breath, but she knew he had heard her.
“Can we just stop? There is no point in fighting.”
She could tell that Reed was starting to become agitated with their bickering, but she knew he was right. It was not going to help if they started fighting, but Aran on the other hand had a different idea.
He crossed his arms over his chest causing his muscles to bunch under the shirt that clung to his body, and stared Kristen down. “Why are you even here? I get that Julie is your best friend and all, but you do not fit in with us. Never really have.”
Kristen was taken aback by his words. As much as she hated to admit it, his words hurt her. They were supposed to be her friends, even Aran. She knew that he was arrogant, overconfident, and could be an asshole at times, but what he had just said was uncalled for.
“Aran, what the hell? How could you say something that low?” She blinked in surprise at how fast Reed moved. He was in Aran’s face, and they seemed to be having a silent standoff.
“Oh, so now you want to play the hero? Is that all it took, was to get a piece of ass?” Aran shoved Reed back, and a dark look crossed over both of their faces.
Reed shoved Aran back harder. “Fuck you.”
“No Reed fuck you! I have had to listen to you bitch and moan all these years about her. Kristen this and Kristen that. Well, get over it. You had girls practically throwing themselves at you every day, even Mairland. Yeah, sure you screwed her…” Aran paused, and looked at Kristen over Reed’s shoulder. “But then again, why wouldn’t you want to screw the miss innocent virgin too?”
“Quit talking about me like I’m not standing right here!” Kristen knew that fighting was not going to get them anywhere but talking about something so personal like she was not standing right next to them was going too far.
Aran waved his hand to brush her off. “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot everything must always be about you. Well look around Kristen. If you have not noticed, the world has gone to shit, and it’s not about you.”
Aran pushed past her and Reed, and it caused her to lose her balance. She was fuming now. How dare he talk about Reed and her. How dare he talk to her like she meant nothing to her friends. She was pissed, and more so now that he had mentioned Mairland and Reed. It already hurt, but now he was rubbing it in her face. He was not getting away with what he had said. She pushed away Reed’s hand as he tried to help her balance and walked right up to Aran. She pushed him, and he stumbled forward from her unexpected shove.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish Kristen.” He warned.
“I hate you.” She grated through clenched teeth.
Aran laughed coldly. “I’m not very fond of you either sweetheart.”
She went to retort back, but Reed placed a hand on her shoulder. “Kristen, please just walk away.”
She shrugged his hand off her. No way in hell was she dropping this. She walked back up to Aran and pushed him again. “If you touch me again, there will be consequences.”
“What’s the matter Aran? You can’t handle what you dish out?” Kristen knew she was pushing him too far, but she did not care. He had pushed her beyond the breaking point.
Aran just brushed her off like an annoying fly. “Reed you need to control your girl.”
She could not stop herself before the words came rushing out of her mouth. “I’m not his girl… hell, he didn’t even want me until all this shit happened!” Kristen turned on her heels to face him. “Did you Reed?”
“Kristen you know that’s not true…” Hurt, confusion, and anger masked his face. What had she done?
“Guess the truths out now.” Aran laughed a humorless laugh.
Kristen turned away from Reed and faced the man who had started this in the first place. He was about to open the car door when she walked up to him, and kicked the door shut. Aran swung around grabbing ahold of her upper arms and shoving her. She could feel his fingers digging in her skin through the hoodie and flinched at the pain.
“I told you to back off Kristen.” He shook her, and hard.
“Let go of me.” She grated and looked up at him through narrowed eyes.
Aran leaned into her personal space. “Or what? You think Reed’s going to help you?” His voice was low, but the sound of it made her shiver against him.
Aran’s gaze grew more intense, and he pushed his body against hers. She could feel all his body as their bodies where pressed from chest to feet. His face moved towards hers and leaning down his lips brushed against her ear. “Come on Kris, you know you like it. I could do more to you then Reed ever could. I can make you scream my name, and by the time I’m done with you, you’ll be begging me for more.” Kristen felt his hand slide down the side of her body, and he slowly began to slide it under her hoodie as he pressed into her.
She fought against the tears, but they silently began to fall from her eyes and down her face. She had no t
ime to react as Aran was ripped away from her. Looking up, she gasped as Reed hit Aran in the face, and caused him to fall to the ground. Before Aran could get up, Reed climbed on top of him and continued punching him in the face. Aran laughed a taunting laugh, and this only fed the fuel to the fire burning in Reed. This had to stop before someone really got hurt. Things were beginning to get out of hand, and they needed to keep their heads straight before they lost all self-control.
Kristen ran towards the two men battling it out on the ground and grabbed a hold of Reed’s arm. Not the smartest idea, but she did not know what else to do. They were both beyond talking it out, and as soon as Reed yanked his arm out of her grasp she stumbled backwards, bumping into the side of the car, she realized she was not going to get through to either of them.
Julie jumped out of the car and ran towards them. “What the hell is going on?”
Jesse followed suit and got out of the car. He pulled Reed from Aran and pushed him towards the car. Aran laid on the ground, his lip busted open and bleeding. He let out a dark laugh as he staggered up to his feet and picking up a rock with him. Kristen felt the drop in her stomach, and all the air had escaped her when Aran swung the rock towards Reed.
“No!” Kristen screamed as she rushed forward. Everything seemed to freeze, and then started back up in slow motion. She could not seem to move as she pushed Reed out of the way and watched as the rock that had been aimed for Reed collided with the side of her head. A burst of pain like no other exploded through her body that she could not even get a scream out. The agony of it made the world spin around her, and as her knees gave out from under her, the world turned black before she even hit the ground. Then there was nothing but silence.