As I pull in, I realize that everything looks different now, but I can still remember the spot clearly. Now there are condos nearby, a park off to the side, and trails that run through the woods. No one would guess that the path they take for their morning jog goes right by one of the most heinous criminals of the past three hundred years.
I nudge Havoc awake. He’s still sleeping in my pouch, so I jab him in the face with my finger. Startled, he shifts, tearing my hoodie as he falls against the car horn. The horn blares as he flails around dramatically. I’m watching all of this in amusement until he sits up quickly and smashes me right in the face. Tears invade my eyes as I cup my nose.
He looks at me with wide eyes as blood starts to trickle down between my fingers. I glare at him as I pinch my nose.
“Who hurt you?” he growls, ready to kill the perpetrator. He’s looking around for who might need their ass kicked.
“You did!”
His face relaxes. “Oh… okay. Whoops. Sorry. You’re all good.” And then he pats my cheek, like that’ll fix everything.
I glare at him as I look down at my hoodie, making the blood drip faster. “You tore my favorite hoodie!”
“Yeah… I said ‘whoops.’ I’m going back to bed,” he says a moment before shifting back into a raven.
“No, we’re getting out,” I snap. I grab a napkin and hold it against my nose as I continue to glare at him.
He ruffles his feathers before jumping up onto my shoulder. With a sigh, I get out of the car and start walking as he hangs onto my shoulder, talons sharp against my skin. The woods are completely dark as we head into them. The insects are busy, and I can hear an owl in the distance.
“What if it is him?” I ask as I check my nose, but it looks like the bleeding has stopped.
“We killed him once, we can do it again. And this time, we will burn the body and pour the ashes into every toilet around town,” he decides.
I grin. “Why didn’t we burn him back then? Seems wise…”
“Good question.”
“And?”
He hops a little on my shoulder. “Yeah, I really don’t remember. I think someone was concerned his ashes could then be used for something. Like they thought that he’d be better off rotting… or something. Or maybe we were drunk. I don’t know, I have trouble listening to what others are saying when they’re not talking about me.”
“Yeah, I’m well aware,” I grumble as I step over a fallen tree.
He caws at me. “Good. I like how well you know me. It’s around here somewhere…”
“I think… this way,” I say as I push past some brush.
“You know what I was thinking about at Rehna’s?” Havoc asks.
“About yourself?
“Well, yeah… in a way. I was thinking that I’ve never had sex in a shrine. Next time we need to have sex.” He puffs up his feathers, clearly thrilled about this idea.
I snort since I can only imagine what would happen if I got caught. “Yes, I’m sure that will go over well, and I’m just positive we won’t get caught. Rehna has eyes everywhere in that place.”
“Well, if you keep quiet, we won’t. But I know how hard it is to keep quiet when I’m making you moan my name.”
“Yes, so hard,” I say sarcastically as I notice an area that looks familiar. “Over here.”
Havoc jumps off my shoulder and shifts midair, landing on the ground as his feathered cloak flutters around him. I recognize the rock and know that just beyond it, I’ll find his grave, and I pray that the earth is the same as it was. Maybe I won’t find it raised from someone digging the body up. I rush forward and turn the corner to find the ground completely unharmed. Weeds are growing where the lack of sunlight didn’t allow much else to grow.
“Right here?” he asks.
I survey the area, but I’m almost positive. “Yes… Someone could have put the earth back.”
I draw the symbol for earth and pull my hand up, causing about three feet of earth to rise up, so I can move it to a new location.
“Wait,” Havoc says. “Are you sure this is the spot? I mean, I know that mages with an affinity for earth can easily pack this back down like it wasn’t disturbed, but the roots would be broken.” Havoc steps into the hole and kneels down. “The roots are thick through here.”
“You’re right. The only one who could move the roots back through the earth would be a druid. Maybe I’m at the wrong location… but I don’t think so.”
Just to be safe, I pull the dirt out in a fifteen-foot area, nine feet down, but we are greeted with nothing but earth.
“So… we have two options,” Havoc says thoughtfully.
“Either a druid did this, or the body has been gone a long, long time.”
“Evan was here with you that day,” Havoc reminds me.
I look over at him as I think. “I know, but wouldn’t it be stupid if it was a druid to put the roots back? I mean we’d figure out that only a druid could, and then it’d point right at Evan. I think the body was never here to begin with. After I buried it, someone dug it up and took it. Which would make sense if you planned to bring him back to life. You wouldn’t want him rotting. You’d want to preserve the body.”
“But for hundreds of years?” Havoc asks. “Who would do that? And back then, how would you preserve a body?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know…”
“So we’re clear that it was someone who helped us bring him down, but why help us kill him, just to bring him back to life? And why wait this long?”
“Fuck if I know. Let’s go home,” I say, feeling defeated. I urge all the soil back into place, but I can’t make the grass grow like Evan could.
We head to the car as I toss him the keys. He catches them without even looking my way.
“Are you good to drive?” I ask him, hoping to get some sleep.
“Yeah, I can do that.”
“I’ll set my GPS,” I say as I mess with it as we walk.
I climb into the passenger seat and sink down. It feels wonderful to be about to relax. I’m so exhausted that I want to shut my brain off and stop thinking for a while. I lie down with my head on Havoc’s lap and close my eyes. He sets his hand against my head and gently begins to run his fingers through my hair. Instantly, I think he’s doing something mean, but his fingers are gentle, and it feels good. I lean into his touch as the soft sound of the music on the radio draws me toward sleep.
But sleep is stressful and filled with dreams about Geoff which makes me restless. I can’t seem to get into a deep sleep, but instead I hover between awake and asleep. Suddenly, a noise tears through the air, and I open my eyes. It takes me a moment to realize the noise isn’t in my dreams.
“What’s going on?” I mumble as I grab Havoc’s knee and squeeze it tightly, thankful for the comfort of his lap after such harsh nightmares. “What’s that noise?”
“Oh, I don’t know. It might be this cop who has been following me for some reason.”
Alarmed I sit up and look behind us. “What? Pull over!”
There is indeed a cop following us with sirens blaring, lights flashing. I look around and realize that we’re close to home, and I hope it’s a cop we know.
Havoc grudgingly pulls over, and the cop parks behind him before walking over to the window. Of course I don’t recognize him, and he looks pissed as he shines his light in on us through the glass.
“Roll down the window,” I say. Honestly, this is what I get for trusting Havoc with one simple task.
Havoc looks over at me and gives me a wicked grin, and I know that whatever he’s planning will be a bad idea. “Just… put an illusion on the car, and we’ll drive away.” He says it like doing anything other than that would be ridiculous.
“No, we can’t just use my magic for bad things!”
“I wasn’t doing anything bad! There’s no one around!” He continues to grumble as he rolls the window down as slowly as he possibly can, just irritating the cop more.
“Yeah, of course. I slowed down to a hundred and twenty so I could get around the curve,” he says like it was absolutely stupid for anyone to think that any other course of action would have been better.
A hundred and twenty? Oh my god. Why did I think he could drive us home?
“So… you admit you were going faster?”
“Of course I was,” Havoc says.
That illusion idea is starting to look better by the second. “Havoc,” I snap.
“You told me to tell the truth to the cops,” he says with a smirk. He loves throwing my words back in my face at the worst possible moment.
I sigh.
The officer shines his flashlight in my face before turning his attention back to Havoc. “Can I see your license and registration?”
“No, I don’t have a license,” he says. “I’m a raven.”
He then proceeds to shift into a raven and starts to caw at the officer. He hops around on the seat and caws at him as the cop just stares at the sight.
“Oh lord,” I say, completely mortified. Is this really the man that I want to spend years of my life with?
Quickly, I draw the symbol for Illusion on the car. Then I push Havoc into the passenger seat as the cop looks around in confusion since the car he was just apprehending, disappeared or seemed to. I throw the car in drive before the man can reach out. Just because the illusion is making the car invisible, doesn’t mean the car isn’t there. I push the car up to the speed limit as Havoc shifts back to human form. He’s laughing as he looks over at me but stops when he sees that my expression isn’t jovial like his own.
“You idiot!” I snap as I smack at him.
He looks at me in shock. “What? It took you so long to drive us there, and it only took me two hours to get us home.”
Two hours? “How fast were you driving?”
“I don’t know… like a hundred and fifty. You shouldn’t have a car that goes that fast if you don’t want to go that fast,” he says.
“It’s like… for emergencies!” I say, exasperated.
“It was an emergency. I’m horny, and you were rubbing your face all over my lap.”
I sigh as he grins. “Be careful, or you can fly home,” I threaten.
He laughs until I turn my sharp gaze onto him. Then he quietly sits back and relaxes as I drive the rest of the way home. I park the car and look over at him again just to remind him that I am still glaring at him. He doesn’t seem to notice, so I head inside. It’s about an hour before the café opens, so I walk through the quiet tables, toward the door leading to the stairs.
“How are you doing?”
I look over at Havoc and then look around myself. “I don’t… who are you talking to? Is there a pretty woman somewhere?” I make a show of glancing under the table like she could be hiding under there.
Havoc folds his arms over his chest as he stares at me. “No one likes an obstinate asshole.”
“I… was just asking,” I say innocently before heading up the stairs so I can dodge this question.
“I’m being serious,” he says as he follows me. “I know… this has to be hard on you.”
“I’m fine,” I lie.
“I know you’re lying.”
“Yeah… well… what else is there to do? A man as powerful as him is now loose and able to feed off power. And you know he’ll come for me. You know he’ll destroy everything I love like the last time,” I say. I catch Havoc’s blue eyes and know that now, more than ever, I have things I could never handle losing.
Havoc doesn’t look worried. Instead, he’s exuding confidence. “You’re forgetting one crucial piece. Geoff picked you because you’re powerful. He bound you with a spell because he feared you. A man doesn’t put a collar on something he knows he can control. He knew you were going to become more powerful than him. Demons can feel power, and I was always drawn more to your power than his. That’s why demons always respect you. You think Iya respects or listens to anyone else?”
I snort. “It’s just because he wants to get in my pants,” I grumble.
“It is not. I want in your pants, and I don’t listen to you eighty percent of the time!”
I sigh. “I don’t know. I’m tired and am being obstinate, so let’s go to bed.”
He gives me a soft smile. “You’re always obstinate. I’m not sure how sleep will change that, but we might as well try it.”
I glare at him. “You can sleep outside,” I say.
He laughs as he follows me into the bathroom. As I brush my teeth, I lean against Havoc, needing to feel that support that has always been next to me but never this close. I drew on that support when I was young and need it just as much now. He is the one thing in my life that never left. Never changed. Always next to me, even when we didn’t know each other as well as we do now.
When I finish in the bathroom, dawn is starting to rise. I crawl into bed and turn the light off. Havoc lies down next to me, so I roll over and lie against him.
“You want to have sex?” he asks.
“Nope.”
“I have to… touch your naked body and… not have sex?”
“Correct,” I say as I lie against him and close my eyes. “Rub my back.”
“W-What?” he asks like he’s mortified.
“Do it.”
He groans about it, but instantly starts rubbing my back gently with one hand while the other slips around me and holds me close. I close my eyes and fight to push the nightmares away and focus on his gentle touches. They will come, I know they will come. They always do on nights like this when I want nothing more than sleep to take me.
But my mind is consumed by Geoff. My body is exhausted, but every thought keeps me wide awake as I question how much longer I’ll be allowed to even walk this earth. Honestly, I have probably overstayed my welcome by a couple hundred years, but I can’t give up. Not now. Not when I finally have things to live for. Things to care about.
Havoc kisses the side of my head, drawing me back to the world and away from my unfocused mind.
“You want me to help you sleep?” Havoc asks, voice soft in the dark room.
“Does it involve sex, because I’m far too tired to have sex?”
He laughs. “In a way, but it requires you to do nothing.”
“So you just want me to lie here and submit?”
He laughs as he pulls me closer. “No. I want you to open up your mind to me,” he says.
I look at him in surprise. Demons and mages share a connection when bound to each other. It is completely open on the demon’s side which allows the mage to control them. But the first thing mages learn when dabbling with demons is to never open their mind to a demon and to place a barrier up which keeps the demon from being allowed to hurt the mage. It also keeps the demon from being able to do things, such as use their aura or their own kind of magic on the mage. If a demon did get inside a mage’s mind, a demon could start to screw with it. And when that happens, the mage starts to lose control. Giving a demon control can be a very dangerous thing.
Havoc watches me for a moment. “I’m joking,” he says, but I can’t tell if he is or not. It’s almost like I can hear a touch of emotion in his voice, and I realize that he’s upset; that he thinks I don’t trust him.
I have heard of demons waiting years, all the while convincing their mage they are in love, so the mage opens up to them. Then the demon takes over the mage’s power, consuming them. I’ve seen it happen more than once and have sworn I would never be stupid enough to open my mind to anyone.
I watch his blue eyes in the dim light of the streetlamp outside and know that I trust this man with my life. I have many times, so why not now? “Alright.”
“What?” he asks startled. “You don’t have to.”
I close my eyes and feel for the string of magic that ties Havoc to me.
Almost instantly, I find the binding that holds us together until the day I die. As soon as I have a steady grip on it, I reach for the barrier placed between our minds and let it fall. It’s been set for so long that I expect the magic to resist, but it falls away like it was never there. I open my eyes and look at Havoc who is watching me in shock.
“I thought you were a wise mage,” he says.
I reach out and cup his face. “You can look at it one of two ways. One: I trust you with every part of my body. Two: I know I’m so goddamn powerful I could smash you like a bug.”
He grins at me. “Or three: I think it’s a bit of both.”
I smile. “Maybe. It just… gives you a little more control of yourself. You’ll be able to fight against my hold even if I order you to do things.”
“I can feel you better too. I can feel your magic. It feels so raw. I can touch it…” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me to him. “I… I can’t believe you did that… I just… can’t.”
It’s strange seeing Havoc at a loss for words, and I realize how much this means to him. He’s probably never had a human trust him at all, let alone give him this much trust. Maybe he doesn’t understand how much I care about him. “Yeah… now you promised to help me fall asleep.”
“But now I’m just so shocked that I’m not even tired. I mean like… what? I never expected you to do that,” he says. “Aw… does that mean you love me?”
I shake my head at this ridiculous man before setting my forehead against his and closing my eyes. “I have loved you since the day I found out how powerful you are,” I say, and he laughs.
“Hm… I suppose I have felt… feelings for you as well,” he says, and I can’t help but laugh with him.
“That was the saddest sharing of emotions I’ve ever seen.”
“Maybe.”
But for some reason, it fits us perfectly. I know that Havoc cares more about me than anyone else, and he knows that I care more about him than anyone else. We don’t have to say it out loud to understand that. Instead, we’ve shown each other our feelings by always being there for each other. Our relationship isn’t new, but this side of it is. It’s new, unexplored territory for us, but I know that there is no one out there that I would rather explore it with. I snuggle into him, finally feeling secure that this will last.
Happy Endings Page 14