“So that’s what this is?” Grace asked, curling her hands around the take-out cup of green tea she’d brought for herself. After last night’s indulgence, she had to be careful today or Ash would make her do double-time on the treadmill during their next training session. “A hook-up?”
“What else would it be? You know I don’t do relationships,” Bella asked, paying an inordinate amount of attention to her muffin as she broke off a piece then popped it in her mouth.
Grace wasn’t buying it. There was something in her friend’s eyes that told her this was more than a hook-up to her. “How’d you two connect?”
“I friended him on Facebook,” she said, reaching for her coffee mug. “We messaged back and forth a few times, and when he found out I was Ethan’s sister, he gave me his contact info. It started out as a few cute texts, then it turned into calls, and now we’re, uh, interested in meeting.”
“How much time have you spent getting to know this guy?” Grace asked, knowing that would give her more insight into the nature of their relationship.
Bella didn’t invest a lot of time in guys. She said it was a waste of precious time, since they were only passing through her life on their way to the next stop. Grace didn’t understand her friend’s pessimistic outlook on men when she was so optimistic about everything else. She’d been a great athlete in school. A good student. She’d become a successful architect. It seemed the only area of her life she hadn’t attempted to succeed in was love, and Grace couldn’t figure out why.
She polished off the muffin. “I don’t know. A bit, I guess. We connected once the season ended, and I’ve talked to him pretty much every day since.”
Grace’s jaw dropped. “Seriously?” Her friend didn’t talk on the phone. She was the queen of texting. Emojis were as good as a real hug as far as she was concerned. “You actually talk to him on the phone?”
Bella blushed as she balled up the bag and tossed it in the trash. “Yeah. So? What’s the big deal? We talk.”
“Like every day?” she repeated, certain she’d misunderstood.
“That’s what I said.”
“But you never talk to guys every day. You hate that. You claim it means they’re getting too attached.”
“Maybe he’s the exception,” she said, trying to look nonchalant.
Grace slapped her hand over her mouth while Bella glared at her. “Oh my God! You like this guy. Like, you like-like him.” She definitely hadn’t seen that coming. Her friend hadn’t crushed on a boy since tenth grade.
“You make it sound like such a big deal,” she said, firing up her computer. “It’s not. I have liked guys before, you know. I wouldn’t sleep with someone I didn’t like.”
“Yeah, but this is different.” Grace waited for her to disagree. When she didn’t, she said, “He’s different, isn’t he?”
“I don’t know.” She bit her lip as she stared at the computer screen. “I haven’t even met him yet. I guess we’ll find out next weekend… if that’s still a go after his chat with my brother.”
“Speaking of your brother…” Grace knew this wasn’t going to go over well, but she had to be the one to tell Bella. There was a good chance Bella would kill Ethan if he broke it to her. “He asked me to come to Vegas with you guys next weekend. I hope that’s okay?”
Bella turned slowly, her jaw dropping. She tapped her palm against her ear, shaking her head. “Say that again. I couldn’t have heard you right. Did you just say that my lame-ass brother thinks he’s coming to Vegas to chaperone my… hook-up?”
“Apparently Loran invited him.”
“Why the hell would he do that?” Her shoulders slumped. “Unless he doesn’t want to be alone with me? God…” She bit her nails. “What if I’ve come on too strong? What if he’s not into me like that and he’s afraid to tell me because of his friendship with my brother? That must be it!” She slumped back in her chair. “I can’t believe this. This is so humiliating.”
“Honey, you’re jumping to conclusions.” Which wasn’t like Bella. She was pretty level-headed and methodical. Especially when it came to men. “Maybe he just thought it would be more fun if all four of us went.”
She gave Grace a “yeah right” look before covering her face with her hands. “Why didn’t he just tell me if he wasn’t into me? Why did he go along with it when I suggested we meet up in Vegas?”
Huh. So Bella had been the one to suggest Vegas? Interesting. Grace hoped Ethan was wrong about Loran. She’d never had to pick up the pieces of her friend’s broken heart and didn’t want to start now. Not that she wouldn’t be there for Bella if she needed her—she was like Grace’s sister—but she’d rip apart any man who tried to hurt Bella. Even if he was some hotshot baseball player who thought he could have any woman he wanted.
“I think you need to ask him.” Grace eyed the phone. “Go ahead. Call him.”
“I don’t know if I should,” Bella said, staring at the phone. “That might give him the wrong impression.”
“Oh? You mean like you care? You do care,” Grace said gently. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay to care about someone.”
“No,” she said, looking panicked as she shook her head. “It’s not okay to care about someone like him. He’s a man-whore, Grace.” She slapped her forehead with her palm. “Of all guys, why the hell did I have to fall for him?”
“Then you admit it?” Grace didn’t know whether to be happy or concerned. She wouldn’t know until she saw them together and believed Loran intended to treat Bella right.
Bella nodded, looking miserable. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. It was just supposed to be a little harmless flirtation. But when I realized how much we have in common…” She bit her lip. “And he makes me laugh. He tells me stories about his life. He really opens up to me. I know I haven’t known him long, but I feel like I really know him already, ya know?”
And Grace knew that was a big deal for Bella, since she didn’t invest that much time in someone. “I think it’s great that you like him,” she said, trying to ease Bella’s panic. “I’m sure he feels the same way. But—”
“It’s not great!” Bella bit another nail, a terrible habit she’d been trying to break. “It’s not great at all.”
“Oh my God! You’re driving me crazy here.” Grace lunged across the desk. “Either you call him or I will.”
“Fine, I’ll call,” Bella said, her shoulders sagging. “But I swear, if my brother ruined this for me, I’ll castrate him.”
Trying to hide her smile, Grace stood. “Call and let me know how it goes, okay?”
“Sure, if I don’t crawl into bed with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s instead.”
“You’re threatening ice cream?” Grace whistled under her breath. “Wow, this is more serious than I thought.”
Chapter Eight
Ethan was sitting across the dinner table from Grace, all of them in the same seats they’d occupied since Bella first brought her home to dinner twenty years ago. That was when it hit him. This woman had been a part of his life so long, it was tough to imagine his family without her.
Grace smiled at him as she listened to his father tell her about their helicopter ride at the Grand Canyon, and Ethan’s breath got trapped in his throat. Memories flooded his mind. Kisses. Conversations. Making love. Making plans. Laughter. He’d shared it all with this woman. And he wanted more of the same. Not just the sex she was offering. He wanted a second chance… to love her again.
“Well, I think it’s time we acknowledge the elephant in the room, don’t you, Ethan?” his mother asked, smoothing the napkin in her lap as she pursed her lips and glanced at her husband as though she needed his support.
Oh no. Hell no. They were not going to call him out about his feelings for Gracie right in front of her. He should have known it would be impossible for him to be in the same room with her without his parents figuring out something was up. They’d tried to keep the conversation light and casual, but his gaze kep
t drifting back to hers. He couldn’t help himself. He wanted to get her alone, and having an audience was making him crazy.
“Uh, this probably isn’t the time to talk—”
“Nonsense,” his mother said, waving off his concern. “We’re all family here. So tell us what happened between you and Issie. And I’m not asking for the details. We’ve unfortunately heard those online. I’m talking about the bigger picture. There must have been some sign she was unhappy in the relationship before she…” She cleared her throat. “Turned to someone else.”
“Yeah, I, uh…” He reached for his beer. “Really don’t want to talk about this.”
“Give the guy a break, Mom,” Bella said, twisting her lips. “She was an actress. A damn good one. She was probably trying to sell it right up ‘til the end.” He knew Bella was pissed at him for calling Loran, but she still had his back.
“Bottom line, she wasn’t the right girl for me.” His eyes settled on Grace. He needed her to hear this. “I had no business being engaged to her in the first place. I was trying to fill a void in my life, and that wasn’t right.”
Grace looked at her plate, running her fork through her mashed potatoes. He wanted her to say something, to acknowledge in some way that she understood. She’d done the same thing—gotten engaged to a man who wasn’t right for her instead of laying it all on the line for the man who was.
“Well,” his mother said, her gaze traveling between him and Grace, “better you find out now, I guess. Before you’re married.”
“That’s right,” his father said, smiling kindly at Grace. “People make mistakes all the time, don’t they, Grace? End up with people they probably shouldn’t be with at all?”
“Real subtle, Dad,” Bella muttered.
He glared at her. “I was merely suggesting—”
“It’s okay,” Grace said, saving Mr. Shaw an explanation. “I know what you were saying. And you’re right.” She gave Ethan a tight smile. “Of course I can relate to what Ethan’s going through. While Joel didn’t cheat on me, he wasn’t right for me. I guess I got engaged for all the wrong reasons too.”
His mother smiled, looking satisfied they were on the same page. “Isn’t this nice? All of us together again. Just like old times.”
“Oh my God,” Bella said, rolling her eyes. “Could you two be any more obvious? We get it, okay? You want these two to get back together.”
“Bell,” Ethan warned, wanting to save Grace any more embarrassment.
“It’s okay,” Grace repeated, offering him a grateful smile before turning to his parents. “You guys have been so great to me. Like my second family, even when Ethan and I broke up and I started seeing Joel. You didn’t judge me or make me feel like I’d betrayed you somehow.”
“Of course not, sweetheart,” his mother said, patting Grace’s hand. “We knew the breakup was Ethan’s fault, not yours.”
“It wasn’t anyone’s fault,” Grace said, jumping to his defense. “For years I blamed him, but I don’t anymore. I get it now, why he had to do what he did. We wanted different things out of life. I love Hillsborough, and I doubt I could be as happy anywhere else.”
Ethan definitely didn’t like where this was going. This was a conversation they needed to have in private, so he could interject and make her see it didn’t have to be all or nothing.
“Ethan, on the other hand, has already lived in a couple of different cities, and he’ll probably live in a couple more before he retires from baseball.” She looked at him, her eyes soft and understanding. “At the end of the day, I’m a small-town girl with simple dreams, and Ethan, well, he’s always had big dreams. We all know that. And I’m just so happy he’s been able to make them all come true.”
Not all of them. He wished he’d never heard her little speech. It not only put things in perspective, it also highlighted all the reasons she was right. She couldn’t be happy in his world, and he couldn’t be happy in hers.
* * *
Grace had walked to his parents’ house, but since it had grown dark, Ethan insisted on driving her home. She didn’t object because she could tell they needed to talk. He’d been brooding ever since she shared her feelings at dinner, and she wanted him to understand that she hadn’t said those things to upset him. She just wanted his family to understand what they had already figured out—it could never work between them.
The short drive to her house passed with classic rock and uncomfortable silence, until he finally turned into her drive and she lowered the volume.
“Can we talk?” she asked, taking off her seat belt and turning to face him.
“I think you said all you have to say back there, didn’t you?”
“You’re angry.” She was trying to make sense of his feelings, but anger didn’t seem to describe it accurately. “No. You’re hurt… upset? Help me out here, E. I’m trying to figure this out.”
“When you showed up on my doorstep…” He sighed heavily. “I was mad as hell. I didn’t want to see you. I didn’t want to acknowledge what I’d never stopped feeling for you.”
She held her breath, knowing instinctively this confession was big.
“I was so hurt, so angry with you for so long. But I was even angrier with myself ‘cause I knew, deep down, I had no real reason to be pissed at you. You had every right to get on with your life. And I had no right to try to stop you.”
“Don’t think it was easy for me,” she said softly. “It wasn’t.”
If only he knew how many nights she’d fallen asleep thinking about him with tears falling on her pillow. Being with Joel didn’t negate her feelings for Ethan. It just softened them over time, made it easier for her to remember some of the good times she’d spent with Ethan so she could let go of some of the bitterness and resentment.
“I know it wasn’t easy for you.” He turned his head to look at her. “I never thought it was. You were only with him because I’d hurt you. I can see that now. If I’d never broken up with you, you never would have turned to someone else.”
He was right. Ethan had been the only man for her. She never would have looked elsewhere, no matter how many months they’d had to spend apart.
“But we can’t keep living in the past.” She reached for his hand. “I think you’re an incredible man, and I’m so proud of you and your accomplishments. You did what most people said you couldn’t. You made it.”
He nodded, turning his hand over and intertwining his fingers with hers. “It came at one hell of a price though. One I’m not sure I’d be willing to pay if I had it to do over again.”
Was he saying that he’d choose her over baseball this time?
“You made the only decision you could, under the circumstances. You couldn’t let all that talent go to waste.” She smiled. “Besides, you wouldn’t be you without baseball. And eventually you would have grown bitter and resentful of me if you’d surrendered your dream for this simple life.”
He looked at her a long time before he sighed. “I thought I could have it all. You. Marriage. Kids. Baseball. That’s what I wanted, more than anything.”
“I know. I wanted that too.” For a long time, his dreams had been her dreams. Until they weren’t anymore. “But in hindsight, I know I wouldn’t have been happy chasing you all over the country. My heart is here. With my family and friends. I love my business. I love this town.”
“I know you do.” He looked around, his gaze traveling up and down the street lined with mature trees, tidy lawns, and well-maintained starter homes. “I love this place too, but it was always too small for my dreams. If I’d stayed, I’d have felt like I was suffocating.”
“I get that.” She’d always known she and Ethan were cut from different cloth, but he’d never been willing to admit it aloud. Maybe he wanted now the same thing she did. Closure. “Small-town life isn’t for everyone.”
“But I’ve been around the world now,” he said, leaning his head back. “Seen a lot of things. Met a lot of people. Fulfilled a lot of drea
ms.”
“And it’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it?” His mood was suddenly so melancholy, she couldn’t tell if this was a happy reflection or not.
“It is, but I still feel like I’m only living half a life. Especially after the time I’ve spent with you lately.”
Her heart started beating faster. She so wanted for them to be on the same page, for him to make this easy for her. “What do you mean, half a life? Your life is as full and exciting as—”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” He shook his head. “On the surface, it might seem that way. But damn it, Gracie, I thought…” He scrubbed his face with his free hand. “I thought I’d be married by this stage in my life. Planning for a family. Thinking about what life would look like after retirement.”
“You still have a lot of good years left.” Eight, at least, if he didn’t succumb to any serious injuries. “You’ll figure it out.”
“But what about…” He bit his lip, looking more uncertain than she’d ever seen him. “You think people are like puzzle pieces?”
She frowned then laughed, trying to figure out where he was going with this. “I don’t follow.”
“You think they only click with that one other person? That maybe the other parts of their life can’t start falling into place until they’ve found that right person?”
“Um, I’m not sure that’s true.” If she thought of her life as a puzzle, she’d have to admit there were still a few missing pieces. Big pieces that represented a big part of her future. “I’ve figured a lot of things out already. So have you.”
“But neither one of us have figured out how to replicate what we had with each other. Maybe there’s a reason for that, Gracie. Because it can’t be done.” His smile was soft, laced with sadness. “Maybe you’re the only piece that fits and it took me this long to figure it out.”
She still loved him. A part of her always would. But they weren’t compatible. They wanted different things out of life, at least for the foreseeable future. And the next decade would represent make-or-break years for her. Plenty of women had babies well into their forties, but she didn’t want that to be her. She loved kids and didn’t want to wait forever to make them a part of her life.
Down the Line (Sports Romance) Page 9