Untamed Winter

by Cassandra Lawson

  “A little,” Vexx agreed. “You should stop stressing about who you are for a little while. Pushing your memories won’t help.”

  “I need to remember what I’m capable of and how to control my power, so I can stop putting people in danger,” Winn insisted.

  “Maybe you’ll remember more in jaguar form,” Vexx added.

  “I can’t shift,” Winn insisted.

  “Of course, you can,” Vexx told her with a dismissive wave of her hand.

  “How would you know that?” Winn asked. “If I could shift, wouldn’t I have already done so? It should have happened at twenty-seven.”

  Vexx shook her head. “The mind is a very powerful thing. If you were convinced you couldn’t shift, and you kept your emotions under control, you could have prevented it from happening. The thing is, I sense the jaguar, and you’re very close to letting that part of yourself out. You are jaguar as much as you are mage.”

  “I want that more than anything,” Winn admitted. “I remember lying on the jungle floor, watching my brothers hunt and longing to join them. Back then, I felt a connection to the jaguar. I hadn’t felt her again until recently.”

  “You need to stop thinking of yourself as separate from the jaguar,” Vexx told her.

  “That’s what your father told me,” Winn said with a sigh. “According to him, I need to accept that I am the jaguar. I just don’t know how.”

  Vexx considered what she’d said. “I think it would be easier if you try to shift closer to your heat cycle, but we could try before then. I’m surprised my father didn’t offer to help you.”

  Winn shrugged. “I don’t think I wanted his help when we talked about it. I’m still not convinced it’s even possible.”

  “My mom used to help some of the half-shifters with their first change. Let me look through her old notes and see if there’s anything I can do magically to help things along.”

  Winn threw her arms around Vexx, hugging her close as tears burned the backs of her eyes. Being a true jaguar shifter had been her childhood dream, one she’d long ago given up on.

  “Thank you, Vexx,” she said quietly. “I know it may not work, but the fact that you’re willing to try means more than you can know.”

  “You’re family now,” Vexx assured her. “I’ll always be here for you.”

  Vexx’s pledge meant more than Winn could express in words. Remembering who Winter had been left her fearing she’d lose all of this, but Vexx was still by her side, and she knew Cord would be, too. She wasn’t alone, and something told her they would never allow her to be alone again.

  Chapter Thirty

  Approaching the bridge to Treasure Island, Connor was prepared for many things, including discovering he was too late to stop Richard from taking the island. What he hadn’t expected to find was Abram casually waiting for him to arrive.

  “Took you long enough to get here,” Abram called out. He was leaning against the railing of the bridge with two dozen armed vampires. Connor didn’t miss the remote detonation device in Abram’s hand.

  “Planning to blow up the bridge today?” Connor asked casually.

  Abram shrugged. “I already blew up the other half, and that was pretty fucking awesome. I suppose I should leave this side intact.”

  “You blew up the other span of the bridge?” Connor asked in disbelief.

  “That’s the side Richard and most of his people were on,” Abram explained. “I got them off the bridge by threatening to blow it up.” His expression became somewhat crazed and distant. “I was kind of hoping he’d refuse to leave.”

  One of the vampires spit on the ground before glaring at Abram. “Can you fantasize about blowing your own ass up later?”

  After letting out an almost wistful sigh, Abram continued, “Anyway, as I was heading back across the bridge, I decided we’d have a better chance of defending the island if we only had one span to guard.”

  “And you picked this side?” Ian demanded. “You aren’t even supposed to come over here, asshole.”

  “Fuck you, too,” Abram spat out. “I could have joined them, so don’t fucking get all pissy with me about this. I blew up the other half because I wanted them to see that shit go down.”

  “You threatened to blow it up while you were standing on the bridge, and they didn’t call your bluff?” Ian asked, sounding skeptical.

  Abram laughed. “I wasn’t bluffing. For a minute, I thought Richard was going to push me to do it. Nothing has turned me on that much in years.”

  Connor studied Abram for a moment before realizing it wasn’t an act; Abram really was that crazy. “If most of their forces are on the other side of the bay, we can try to prevent them from getting over here. I’m sure they’ll be heading this way soon, if they aren’t already.”

  “What do you need from us?” Abram asked.

  Connor shook his head, unable to believe he was on the same side as Abram again. “It still amazes me when you offer to help me.”

  “Shocks the fuck out of me, too,” Abram admitted. “What shocks me even more is that I trust you not to fuck us over. That asshole, Richard, would use us and kill us. You’re too honorable for that sort of thing.”

  “I like the way you make that sound like an insult,” Ian muttered.

  “It is,” Abram told him.

  Cord moved forward, shifting to human form in a blur. “Did they ask about a mage named Winter?”

  “It’s crazy when one of you goes from cat to human,” Abram mused before responding to Cord’s question. “They didn’t mention anything about a mage. We didn’t talk about much other than his desire to have me help him. If I’d agreed to be his lackey, he might have told me more, but probably not everything. I’d never heard the term mage before today, but I’ve heard of Winter. Isn’t she the woman who killed Roger?”

  Connor nodded.

  “I’d like to meet her,” Abram remarked. “I definitely owe her for ending Roger’s life.”

  “At this point, we’re not sure she’s still in the area,” Connor admitted. “No one has seen her in months.”

  “Why do you think Richard would want to find her?” Abram asked.

  “He’s working with some shapeshifters who went to Fangri La looking for her. They claim she’s a dangerous killer,” Connor explained.

  Abram let out a bark of laughter. “It seems they’re right about that.”

  “Agreed, but we only know of her killing to protect others,” Connor pointed out.

  “She’s no killer,” Cord growled.

  Connor made a mental note to question Cord about his interest in Winter more when Abram wasn’t around. Cord’s defense of Winter sounded far too personal. The cougar definitely knew her.

  “What’s she look like?” Abram asked.

  “Long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a slight build,” Connor replied. “I’ve never seen her, so I’m getting the description from others. Again, we’re not sure she’s in the area, but we’d like to find her to see if she can shed some light on the reason the shifters are looking for her and warn her of the danger.”

  Abram nodded. “All our communications are down.”

  “I’ve already told Eleanor, and she’s looking into it,” Connor assured him. “Someone is intercepting your communications. I sent you a message about Richard and received a response, obviously not from you like I’d originally believed.”

  “I didn’t get any messages, so I sure as hell didn’t respond to any,” Abram grumbled.

  “What do you need to secure Treasure Island?” Connor asked. “I can send extra guards if that’s what it takes to prevent Richard from taking the island.”

  Abram cocked his head to the side, considering the question carefully. “I’m concerned that anyone you send to help us will be a problem with the undead vampires.”

  “You’re still making those?” Connor asked, annoyed that Abram was still killing to build an army.

  “I’m not making more, but what the fuck did you expect me to
do with the ones I already had?” Abram demanded.

  “Destroy them?” Ian suggested.

  “Listen, asshole,” Abram began as he stalked toward them. “They got thoroughly fucked in all this. Not one of them asked to die for someone else’s cause, and they aren’t like the ones running around killing people. I’m not saying they have the same mental faculties as a living vampire, but they bond with each other on some level. Given enough blood, they experience emotions and don’t want to kill anyone.”

  “Not to sound insensitive, but I think you may be seeing what you want to,” Connor argued. “I’ve been around plenty of your feral vampires, and while they’re more in control than the others, they still live for blood.”

  “Like I already said, now that they get enough blood, they don’t seem in any hurry to tear anyone’s throat out,” Abram pointed out. “I’m not saying they can’t be dangerous, because they can. We keep them confined to certain areas to minimize the risk of problems. Blood is what I need to hold Treasure Island. I sent all my humans to you. We have enough bagged blood to last a few days at most. We need blood to survive.”

  Connor nodded. “We’ll get blood to you, and I’d like to talk to you more about your undead vampires another time. If what you say is true, Dr. Moon may be able to help them.”

  Abram looked perplexed. “Can I ask why you’d offer that? You’ll have to forgive me for being suspicious, but you wanted them all dead less than five minutes ago.”

  “I’ve been labeled a monster with no rights,” Connor explained. “Your argument made me question my original stance.”

  “I guess that makes sense,” Abram replied. “Other than blood, I’d appreciate more help patrolling around the bridge.”

  “Consider it done,” Connor agreed. “I’m hoping your communications problem will be fixed soon. I’d considered bringing you new phones, but according to Eleanor, no communication devices will work on the island. They are working to get the problem resolved.”

  “Good to know,” Abram said with a nod.

  After discussing the rest of the details, Connor followed Cord, who looked to be trying to leave without talking to Connor. “Where is she?”

  “Who?” Cord asked.

  “Winter,” Connor replied. “Don’t play dumb with me. You obviously know quite a bit about her, so I’m guessing you also know where she is.”

  “I came out here to help you today,” Cord reminded him.

  “And I appreciate that, but not enough to pretend you aren’t lying to me,” Connor told him.

  Cord’s glare became cold and deadly. There was no denying Cord had strong feelings concerning the mage. After spending time around shapeshifters, Connor was beginning to understand them, and he was pretty sure he knew why Cord was so interested in Winter.

  “Let me see if I can guess what’s going on,” Connor said.

  “Be my guest,” Cord replied, still looking angry.

  “Winter is at least half-shifter—jaguar would be my guess, since I’ve heard that’s what the invading shapeshifters are,” Connor began, but Cord didn’t confirm or deny what he’d said. “She’s also your mate. That must be a new development because I’m aware of your pursuit of Quinn. Can I assume your interest in Winter stems from the fact that she’s both shifter and mage like Quinn?”

  “So, you heard about what the seer told me?” Cord snapped.

  “Yep,” Connor replied.

  “You can assume whatever the fuck you want,” Cord almost growled. “I didn’t know Winn was half-shifter until just recently.”

  “How long have you known her?” Connor asked, knowing he was pushing his luck with Cord. Like most shifters, Cord didn’t handle any challenge well.

  “Long enough,” Cord replied. “Winn is my mate. I’ve marked her, and I’ll kill anyone who tries to come between us. I don’t give a fuck about any agreement we have. If you are a threat to my mate, we’re enemies.”

  Connor studied Cord for a long moment, surprised the others, especially Danny, had stayed back this long. If there was one thing Connor understood, it was how the right woman could make you want to do anything to keep her safe. Having heard about Cord’s pursuit of Quinn, he knew it was possible Cord’s only interest in Winter had to do with the seer’s prophesy, but something told him that wasn’t the case.

  “I think she’d be safer with us,” Connor argued. “They aren’t going to attack my settlement. Richard is going to try to bring down my allies first, and possibly take over our trade port.”

  Cord nodded. “You’re probably right about that, but do you really think Winn can stay in your settlement? Do you really think she can be closed off from nature? I hear your own mate has a hard time when she doesn’t get out enough. It will be even harder for Winn because she’s lived on her own for so long. She’s just getting used to socializing with my daughters, and she’s still quiet around most of my clan. You’re asking me to put her in a settlement with at least twice that many people. She won’t stay there.”

  Connor blew out a frustrated breath. “You’re right, but I need you to promise to bring her to us if it becomes impossible for you to keep her safe. You need to convince her to stay with us if she’s at risk. Don’t let your pride get your mate killed.”

  “I won’t,” Cord assured him. “If it becomes impossible to keep her safe with my clan, I’ll leave Beck in charge, and we’ll stay on your land.”

  Connor’s raised eyebrow was enough to make Cord laugh. “Yeah, I know,” Cord told him. “I’m usually all about doing what’s best for my clan, but I’ll do anything for my mate or daughters.”

  “How many daughters do you have?” Connor asked, since he’d never heard mention of Cord’s children. Then again, they’d never discussed anything personal before.

  “Six,” Cord replied. “All determined to drive me insane.”

  “I envy you,” Connor admitted.

  “Your nymph resistant to getting pregnant?” Cord asked.

  “My nymph is coming around to the idea,” he replied.

  “Since when is Raven coming around to the idea of getting pregnant?” Danny asked, proving he’d been eavesdropping.

  “None of your damn business, and you’d better not tell her you heard that or you’ll find yourself patrolling every day there’s rain the entire winter,” Connor warned.

  “I like you, vampire,” Cord remarked with a chuckle. “I need to get back to my mate.”

  Cord didn’t give him time to respond before shifting and taking off with the other cougars.

  “Leaving Winter with him seems like a bad idea,” Danny stated.

  Connor shrugged, torn on how he felt about it. “While she’d be safer with us, I think Cord might be right about her not handling life in our settlement well. Didn’t Quinn say Winter lives outside?”

  Danny nodded. “That’s the impression Quinn got, but I don’t think it was confirmed. Cord was right. Winter is used to being alone.”

  “We’ll leave it this way for now. I’m leaving you and Ian in charge of the first guard detail for the Treasure Island bridge. I doubt Richard will make it to this side of the bay any time soon, but I don’t know how many people he already has over here.”

  “Should we scout around?” Ian asked as he joined them, obviously having heard his name.

  Connor shook his head. “Just guard the bridge entrance until I can send more people to back you up. The last thing I need is Abram destroying the remaining half of this bridge.”

  “That fucker is crazy,” Ian stated, sounding somewhat impressed.

  Connor couldn’t argue with that. Abram being crazy was likely the only reason Richard hadn’t taken Treasure Island, so crazy might not be an entirely bad thing.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  The first place Cord went when he returned to his territory was the creek, knowing he’d find his mate there. This time, he found her sitting on the edge of the creek rather than standing in it.

  She began to speak without turning
to face him as he approached. “I didn’t leave this area immediately after I rejected you,” she began. “I can mask my scent. At least, I could do that. At the moment, I can’t remember how. Back then, I used it to hide my presence from you until I had a new assignment.”

  Cord said nothing, just sat beside her. He had no clue if this meant her memories had suddenly returned or not, and if they had, he didn’t know if she was about to tell him off for taking advantage of her.

  “More of your memories are back?” he asked hesitantly.

  She nodded, eyes still on the creek. “A lot of them came back when Cam called me Winter. I still don’t feel like Winter, but I remember more.”

  Cord said nothing, merely waited for her to tell him what an asshole he was for marking her when she didn’t remember who she was. When she looked over at him, her smile was warm with no anger or censure.

  “I used to stand in this creek,” she admitted. “I stood farther downstream and did my best to avoid cougars. As the water flowed, I felt your presence in it. I knew you touched the water on a regular basis, and it was like I was touching you. When I finally left this area, I missed you.”

  Cord’s throat tightened. Winn truly amazed him. She owned him.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, placing a hand on his bare thigh and sending a jolt of lust straight to his cock.

  “When you said your memories had returned, I thought you were going to be angry with me for marking you,” he admitted. “At the very least, I figured you’d regret it.”

  “Even Winter wanted to be with you,” she told him.

  “Winn,” he began, turning to cup her chin in one hand. “You are Winter.”

  She shook her head. “Not anymore. I realize I need to remember how to use her abilities, and I’m trying, but I’m Winn.”

  When he started to disagree, she placed a hand on his chest and leaned in to kiss him. While he knew she was using sex to get out of discussing her refusal to connect with her past, he decided to let it go for now. He laid back on the grass, pulling her on top of him. She was still fully clothed, while he was naked, having just returned from Treasure Island.