by Elaine Fox
She was also at peace with the pregnancy. The only thing marring her complete happiness about it was anticipating the meeting she had to have with Sutter to tell him about his impending fatherhood.
As she sat in her quiet office, alone with an unringing phone and empty exam rooms, she contemplated the Herculean task of sitting across from Sutter and telling him she was going to have his baby.
The moment when the words must come out of her mouth was the moment she dreaded more than anything else in her life. But in keeping with a lifelong philosophy, she finally decided that she had to face that moment head-on and as soon as possible. Getting it out of the way, for good or for ill, would at least eliminate the crushing dread she felt at the prospect of it.
She picked up the phone and dialed the number for SFSolutions. She still didn’t know his home number. What kind of woman was she that she didn’t even know the home phone number for the father of her baby?
“SFSolutions! Arnetta speaking!” the loud, chipper voice exclaimed.
“Yes, may I speak with Sutter Foley, please? This is Megan Rose calling. Please tell him it’s important,” she said, her voice shaking. She didn’t think he’d actually refuse her call, but telling him it was important would at least set him up for something big.
How big, he’d never guess.
Not that she was going to tell him over the phone, of course, but asking for a meeting could be construed many different ways, especially in their case. What she needed to do was set the stage appropriately as early as possible.
“Mr. Foley isn’t in,” Arnetta said. “If it’s important you can reach him at the Palace hotel in New York City. Would you like that number?”
New York?
“Uh, no…” What was he doing in New York? And what was this woman doing giving out his number? “Can you tell me how long he’ll be gone?”
“Oh yes…let’s see. He left here last…Tuesday. And he’ll be back…the twenty-ninth. Two weeks from today.”
“Two weeks,” Megan repeated.
“That’s right. He’s arriving at National Airport at 8:04 A.M.”
Megan suppressed a laugh. It was no wonder the Tattler always knew where to find him.
“Well, uh, I guess I’ll try him back after that, then,” she said. “Thank you. Oh, wait!” She nearly shouted, remembering how fast the woman had hung up last time.
But she didn’t want voicemail this time. She had to talk to him in person about this, and there was no sense leaving him a message he couldn’t act on until he got home.
No, this time she wanted to know, “Do you have any idea what he’s done with Twister? Uh, with his dog, I mean?”
If he’d left Twister in a kennel without asking her to take care of the puppy first she’d kill him. Or worse—he probably left her in the house all alone, depending on his housekeeper or his chef to let her out. Her heart bled just thinking about the poor little thing all alone in that huge place all night…
“Twister, sure!” Arnetta boomed. “I know the dog. He took it with him of course.”
That stopped her. “He—what?”
“He took the dog with him,” Arnetta said more slowly, enunciating each word as if Megan might suddenly have become hard of hearing.
“He took Twister with him. The young retriever mix dog he has,” Megan said, as if he might have had some other kind of dog stashed somewhere.
“I guess, yes. Twister, that’s the one. She comes to the office with him too. He’s real attached to that one. Funny, isn’t it? A rich guy like him having a dog that’s not even pure bred.”
“Yes…funny.” Megan was floored.
“You’d think he’d have one of those weird kind of dogs,” Arnetta continued, “like you see on the television. I watch Animal Planet when they have the dog shows on sometimes. They have some prissy-looking dogs on there. But he’s just got this regular mutt. Cute, though.”
“Yes, she is. And you say he brings her to work with him?”
“That’s right. She just sits there under his desk while he works.”
Megan shook her head. She could hardly believe it.
After a few minutes of silence, Arnetta asked, “Will there be anything else, ma’am?”
Megan shook her head again, dazed. “No. No, thank you.”
“You’re welcome! And thank you for calling SFSolutions!”
Megan expelled a long breath. He’d taken the dog with him. He even took the dog to work! Her plan had worked, and she’d had no idea.
She didn’t know the man at all.
And she was carrying his child.
Megan realized she was still holding the phone receiver and gently placed it back in the cradle.
She took a deep breath.
Sutter was in New York for two more weeks. A reprieve. She had two weeks to figure out what to say to him, how to break the news. Two weeks to make a plan for her life and stick to it.
First things first, however. While she had a little bit of money to spare, she had to get a few things for the future. She wasn’t sure if she was imagining it or not, but some of her clothes were starting to feel a bit snug around the waist. She was glad the weather was still warm enough for her to wear loose-fitting sundresses, but fall was coming and she would need something bigger soon.
It was time to buy some maternity clothes.
Seventeen
Saturday afternoon Megan set off. She closed the animal hospital at noon, as usual—after a day of no appointments, as was becoming usual again—and went to the mall.
The problem with buying maternity clothes, she discovered, was that you had to go to a maternity shop. And being seen in a maternity shop in a small town was a dicey proposition. She thought up several excuses—like that she was going to a friend’s baby shower or was helping out a (fictional) sister—in case someone happened to ask. But the sad fact was that no one would ask, they’d just see her and leap to conclusions.
Correct conclusions, as it happened, or it wouldn’t matter.
After skulking around outside a shop called Mommy ’N Me for the better part of fifteen minutes, eyeing every passerby for signs of recognition or familiarity, she decided the best tactic was to look completely confident and walk right in.
With her best I’m-Buying-A-Gift face she entered the store and headed straight for the back. She poked around the sale racks for a while, concentrating on the items farthest from the front and most concealed from the outside world. She plucked a couple of tops from a rack, trying to imagine herself getting big enough to actually wear them, when a saleswoman appeared at her elbow.
“Can I set up a fitting room for you?” the woman smiled. She looked to be in her forties and had a kindly, sympathetic look about her. And she cleary had no idea who Megan was.
“I doubt I’ll have any trouble with the fit,” Megan said. “Not yet anyway.”
The woman laughed. “I know. But trust me, it helps to try them on. You can tell a lot about how the style and color work for you even at this stage. Besides, they have false bellies in the dressing room.”
“False bellies?” Megan snickered. “That’s really funny.”
“Just practical. So can I take those to a room?”
“Okay. Sure.” Megan handed her the clothes.
“Is this your first?” the woman asked.
Ridiculously, Megan felt herself blush, as if the pregnancy were something she made up and was now tricking others into believing. “Yes, actually. I’m only about three months, but I could swear my clothes feel tight.”
“Could be. Some people notice the changes quickly, others it takes longer. It’s different for everyone. Besides, it makes the pregnancy feel a little more tangible when you start to buy the clothes.” She winked.
Megan smiled warmly. There was such a sisterhood to pregnancy, she thought. Embarking on the path of reproduction felt like the first truly selfless thing she’d ever done, even though at the same time she felt as if she’d had very little to do with it
occurring. It was a miracle, was all she could think. Alucky, joyous phenomenon that had simply happened.
“You should check out those stretch jeans over there,” the woman added. “They look just like regular jeans from the back, but they’ve got a wonderful soft elastic belly that’ll get you almost all the way through the ninth month.”
“Oh, okay, thanks,” Megan said, drifting toward the jeans.
As the woman disappeared toward the fitting rooms, Megan turned and her eye was caught by a display of baby overalls in fabrics from denim to corduroy, and in prints from boats to trains to teddy bears. They were so tiny and so cute, she could picture a baby boy with green eyes and blond hair tottering around in them amongst a sea of Christmas presents in Sutter’s glorious but oh-so-homey living room. She could even imagine the tree, set up in that lovely bay window, of course.
Was there a chance Sutter would be at all excited about the prospect of fatherhood? she wondered. How could he not dote on the sight of his very own son or daughter? She could picture it so easily. As easily as she could picture him telling her he loved her…as he lay her down on the kitchen table…don’t you look delicious…
“Megan?”
Megan jumped, dropping the autumn-leaf patterned overalls she held, and turned guiltily toward the voice.
“Oh Penelope, thank God!” she gushed, heat searing her face.
Her mind spun frantically to come up with something that would explain her presence in this store, even while she praised the heavens for making this intruder Penelope and not someone else.
“What are you doing here?” Penelope peered with concern into Megan’s face. “Are you all right? You look as if I scared you to death.”
Megan swallowed and put a hand to her fluttering heart. She bent to pick up the overalls. “You did, actually. I guess that National Tattler thing has me paranoid that I’m being followed. Though I know I’m only interesting to them when I’m with Sutter.”
“No doubt,” Pen said, studying the overalls Megan held. “Those are cute.”
“Aren’t they? I just love looking at these tiny things.” Megan hoped it sounded as if she did it all the time. “What are you doing here?” The best defense was a good offense.
Penelope blushed. “Oh…I…I guess I just like coming in to this store,” she said, shrugging. “Just to fantasize, you know?” She glanced at the overalls in Megan’s hand again and laughed. “I guess you do know.”
“Well…” Megan hung the overalls back up, unsure what to say. She didn’t want to lie outright, but she wasn’t sure how to get off the subject of children, especially considering they were surrounded by nothing but baby clothes and maternity wear.
“Oh, honey,” Penelope said, surprising Megan by putting an arm around her shoulders and squeezing briefly. “I know just how you feel. I just didn’t realize you felt as strongly about it as I do.”
“I…I didn’t always,” Megan said. It was tough, sticking to the truth.
“You could always adopt, you know,” Penelope said kindly. “It would be just as fun buying those little overalls for a baby you were entrusted with as one you gave birth to yourself. And I think the agencies have gotten fairly liberal about even single women adopting these days. I have a friend who adopted the most beautiful little Guatemalan boy.”
Megan swallowed. “I don’t know…”
“Just think about it,” Penelope advised, as they moved away from the overalls. “When we talked about it before you sounded so resigned and balanced about not having children. I never dreamed I’d find you someplace like this.”
Megan stopped at a rack of clothes and flipped through them, unseeing. “I know. I was,” she said. “I really was. I thought fate was telling me I had a different path to take, but then…” She couldn’t finish the thought.
“I know. Then it hits you that it’s forever. And you wish you could tell fate a thing or two about how you want your life to go instead of just going along with whatever happens.” Penelope shook her head, looking troubled.
“You could, you know,” Megan said, feeling like a jerk for allowing Penelope to think they were talking about the same thing. “Fate hasn’t told you anything hopeless, Pen. And even if it did, you just don’t know. Sometimes our interpretations are wrong. I just know you’re going to have children someday, and I know you’ll be a great mother.”
Penelope laughed again and waved the words away. “Oh sure, sure.” She sighed and looked around the store. “I just wish it could happen right now. And here I thought I was the only one who took dreaming to this level of reality.” She spread an arm out to encompass the wealth of mommy merchandise around them.
Megan laughed and pulled a white shirt from the rack, taking in its oversize cut around the middle. This kind of thing might work for her at the animal hospital, she thought. It looked like a normal shirt until you got to the center. She pictured herself wearing it to work, then remembered the damn pink uniform shirts she’d bought everyone. Did they make those in maternity sizes, she wondered. If they did she’d end up looking like a giant marshmallow Easter Peep.
“But Megan…” Penelope’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “Even if you adopt you’re never going to need that kind of thing.”
Too late, Megan realized the kind of fantasizing Penelope was talking about didn’t include the actual pregnancy. And for sure you didn’t need big shirts to adopt a child.
She dropped the maternity shirt.
“Ma’am?” The saleswoman was back. “I’ve got you set up in fitting room number two.”
Megan froze. “Uh, thanks.”
Her eyes darted to Penelope.
“A fitting room?” Penelope said, looking confused.
The saleswoman floated inconspicuously away.
Finally Penelope’s eyes widened. “Megan!” she nearly hissed, leaning toward her intently. “Are you—?”
Megan stopped breathing. She had to tell someone sometime. Was now the right time? And was Penelope the right person? She was becoming a dear friend, but she wanted a baby herself so badly…
Hesitantly, Megan nodded. Once.
Penelope straightened, looking at her in shock. “And it’s…is it…?” She leaned forward again and whispered, “Does Sutter know?”
Megan shook her head. She felt unreal. As if this were some kind of weird dream. Never had the pregnancy seemed so unbelievable as it did at that moment, transitioning from concept to reality as the news was absorbed by someone she knew.
She swallowed, feeling sick, and put her hands on her abdomen as if she could shield the baby from the world discovering its secret presence.
Penelope was clearly stupefied. “But…I thought…”
“I know,” Megan said, low. “I did too. I thought it was impossible. But it’s not. That’s what I meant about interpreting fate. It’s…real.” She made a face between a smile and a grimace, so afraid the news must be killing Penelope. Penelope, who wanted children more than anything else in the world…
Penelope reached out and grabbed Megan’s arm. “Come on,” she said, then turned and nodded toward the white shirt Megan had dropped. “Bring that.”
“Where are we going?” Megan asked.
Penelope gave her a look. “To fitting room two, of course!”
In the end Penelope had been excited for her. Megan had bought three shirts and a pair of jeans, and Penelope had purchased the little autumn-leaf overalls for the baby—just for fun.
Megan had never been so glad to have a friend as she was at that moment. Penelope had been up-beat and fun, and reassured Megan at every opportunity that she would not want for help or company or solace whenever she needed it during her pregnancy and beyond. Megan had even cried at one point, so grateful for Pen’s warmth and acceptance she could hardly believe it was real.
Once or twice she thought she’d caught a wistful look on Penelope’s face, but it disappeared quickly and was replaced by enthusiasm every time. The outing had ended up being tremend
ous fun.
On the way to the parking lot, Penelope brought up the issue that Megan had been holding at bay the entire day.
“So when are you going to tell Sutter?” Penelope asked.
Megan shifted her Mommy ’N Me shopping bag from her right hand to her left and fished around in her purse for her car keys.
“At least not for the next couple of weeks. He’s out of town. After that…I’m not sure.”
“I know you’re nervous, honey, but you know, he could really be excited,” Penelope said, injecting her earlier enthusiasm back into her voice.
Megan eyed her skeptically. “Come on, Pen. We’re talking about The Vault here. Even if he was excited, chances are we’d never know it.”
Penelope laughed. “I know, but The Vault has already surprised me a couple of times when it comes to you. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
That was taking optimism to new heights.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Megan said. “You didn’t see him that night at the concert, when he reacted to me talking to that tabloid. He was furious.”
“But he apologized! Once you explained to him what happened, everything was fine.”
“Sure, but this is a little bigger than that,” Megan said, touching her hand to her abdomen again. “I’m just…I’m so afraid he’s going to think I did this on purpose.”
Penelope gave her a reproachful look. “You didn’t do this alone, you know.”
“I know. But he asked about contraception and I told him I couldn’t have children. What if he thinks I lied? I’m so afraid he’ll think I…I don’t know, trapped him or something.”
“Trapped him! That’s ridiculous. But even if he did, you’d tell him the truth and he’d have to understand. In either case, ultimately I don’t think you’ll have anything to worry about with Sutter.” She nodded her head and added, “He’ll do the right thing.”
Megan threw a glance at Penelope sideways as she opened the trunk of her car. “And the right thing would be…?”