by BS Murthy
Sanjay: Cool dear. [Sanjay goes up to Navya and gently nudges her into the chair.] If it's hard this way, I'll make it soft another way [Lightly brushes her breast and she recoils] but there is nothing really soft about ball games barring the handball that is if it's not about throwing the ball against the wall. Why, in golf, it gets clubbed before it is nudged into the hole. What a tame
end, but hockey is different. It is taken into the D before it is slammed it into the goal, something manly, isn't it? But how piteous is the ping-pong, at least in tennis, the balls are bigger and get respite. And savage is the squash, what do you say?
Navya: Oh, stop it Sir.
[Navya tries to get up and Sanjay nudges her back into the chair.]
Sanjay: I'm glad you want the balls are handled better than that. Why, volleyball is a via media. A dozen men get to handle the ball and scores of them voyeur. If the dames are at it, two dozen balls get agitated as well. What with those bikinis, won't the sight get better in the beach volleyball? But it's the rough and tough rugby that is true to life as it allows men to hug the ball. Wonder how in football it's a foul to handle the ball. But it's cricket that is sexy with its field placements like say, no cover, no extra cover while there is a deep gully between two fine legs.
Navya: It's all foul Sir.
Sanjay: Talk about foul and nothing to beat caroms at it. Why, with four holes to fill, there is no peg on board.
Navya: Stop it M ister. [She gets up]
Sanjay: Well, Sir to M ister is one step closer, isn't it? Call me Sanjay and we would leap frog to it, won't we?
Navya: After all, there is a limit. [She goes back to her seat in a huff.]
[Sanjay picks up a note book and begins to sketch Navya and having finished the drawing, he calls heron the intercom (mime). Navya goes back to into Sanjay's chamber.]
Navya: Yes.
Sanjay: Is Her Ladyship an artist?
Navya: So, if not harassment it should be mocking then.
Sanjay: Given your lovely fingers, I guess you could be one.
Navya: I am not, is it okay?
Sanjay: Still you could be an art lover. [He gives her the sketch book] Judge this one.
Navya: [Holding the sketch book] I take objection to this.
Sanjay: I don't blame you for that but you won't be complaining if only you model in nude. How else can I do justice to your figure?
[Navya slowly but deliberately begins to slide her pallu. Sanjay looks at her bulging blouse in heightened anticipation and she holds it back coquettishly. Sanjay goes nearer to her and Navya, feigning to protect her self, puts her hand into her blouse. [She presses the button to stop the recording and then another to start rewinding the tape in the audience view], Sanjay looks in wonderment as Navya drops her pallu exposing her valley to him.]
Sanjay: What a valley!
Navya: Of your fall.
[Navya pulls out a pocket tape recorder from within her blouse. As Sanjay stands stunned, Navya pulls her pallu back over her blouse. Recovering himself, Sanajy tries to grab the tape recorder from her hand. Navya pushes Sanjay with all her strength and he falls on the floor. Navya plays the tape recorder. Sanjay gets up from the floor and attempts to grab it from her. She runs out of the place leaving him stunned and worried. Curtains down.]
Scene - 9
[Curtains up: Split setting of the office of Skins & Hides Ltd. Cabin of the Finance Manager on the left and the Finance Department on the right. Diwakar is in the cabin with Rachana. Kumar sits in the office portion. Rachana comes out of the cabin and takes her seat at the adjacent table to Kumar's. The clock (not in the scene) strikes four.
Rachana: How I wish every boss is like our boss.
Kumar: M ay I know what you saw in him that we failed to see all these years.
Rachana: He doesn't misbehave with women.
Kumar: What a simpleton you are.
Rachana: It's no flattering.
Kumar: I think its early days for that [He smiles.]
Rachana: [Though pleased, she tries to hide her feelings.]
Kumar: Once I overheard a conversation between an old woman and a young girl. Well, they were egg vendors at our hostel mess. When the young thing said that boys misbehave with her, the oldie averred they were all nice to her. [Laughs]
Rachana: It's insulting.
Kumar: What if I say you are terrific.
Rachana: Won't I complain of harassment?
Kumar: That's what Deepti did when the boss lost his eyes for her. But the only difference was she carried the complaint to his wife and that was that. Well, he acquired the look of a castrated bull after that. Deepti resigned having had her last laugh but his wife got a couple of surveillance cameras installed in his cabin. I suppose to be doubly sure.
Rachana: Don't joke.
Kumar: It's no joke that it pays to report on man's womanizing ways to his wife. Wonder why women won’t realize that.
Rachana: Give me your wife's number, just in case.
Kumar: She's going to welcome your call.
Rachana: But why, if it's not a joke.
Kumar: You will know when we get close.
Rachana: How clever, incite a woman's curiosity to induce her to come closer
Kumar: It's for the woman to choose to be or not to be. But why should I open my life to someone not closer to me.
Rachana: Looks like you are a seasoned hand.
Kumar: I can vouch that I'm thirty-five and no less.
Rachana: I thinkthere is lot that one can learn from you.
Kumar: One needn't come close to me for that.
[Diwakar talks to Kumar on intercom (mime). Kumar takes the file to Diwakar. Rachana watches Kumar as Diwakar pulls him up [mime] Kumar goes back to his seat.]
Rachana: I could see that boss is annoyed with you.
Kumar: Of what avail being a boss if he won't pull subordinates for his shortcomings.
Rachana: Maybe he's jealous.
Kumar: You give me cause to complain.
Rachana: Why do you think so?
Kumar: Is it not inducing womanizing.
Rachana: Jokes apart, what it is all about.
Kumar: Take men as sperms and women as eggs, as you should, and it's the Sperm-egg Syndrome that governs the male female attitudes. Like hordes of sperms seek a single egg, scores of men chase a desirable woman. As with eggs, so with women, having taken one, they
would ignore others. But like an odd egg that lets in multiple sperms, some women revel in multiple partners.
Rachana: What are you suggesting?
Kumar: It’ natural for men to besiege a desirable dame and it's for her to let the superfluous suitors pass by.
Rachana: Why it's but shifting the onus on women.
[Diwakarwith some files in hand reaches them.]
Diwakar: Kumar hold the fort till I come back. .
Kumar: Yes Sir.
[Exit: Diwakar.]
Kumar: Picking up the threads from where we left them, there was an episode which proves that men are far too ill-equipped to guard against scheming women.
Rachana: What is that?
Kumar: There was a lady clerk in the marketing department who was a past master of soft sell. It was her tactic to let the targeted man know that she was short of money. What with the man perceiving her as vulnerable, she starts flirting with him to begin fleecing him in time. Weil, all the while keeping him at an arms length. But were he to tighten his purse strings in frustration, she invites him home insinuating her willingness.
Rachana: What next?
Kumar: When he goes to her in heightened anticipation, she would introduce her mother-inlaw who supposedly came on an unscheduled visit. Having proved her intent to grant him, she would fleece him before a couple of repeats give her game away to him. When she picks up a new prey, the wounded keeps mum for fear of being ridiculed. It went on for a year before she was exposed. But before that, she induced Diwakar's predecessor to sanction a departmental loan of two
lakhs and stand guarantee for her. And the matter is in the court now.
Rachana: But who belled the cat.
Kumar: I don't believe in being boastful.
Rachana: I thought you are a gentleman.
Kumar: What if I’m a ladies man.
Rachana: It's shameful being a married man.
Kumar: How women bemoan if marriage turns man into half a man.
Rachana: There is no winning an argument with you.
Kumar: Why, you are a wonderful conversationalist.
Rachana: What's her name?
Kumar: Who's name, my wife's or the one I crave.
Kumar: M ind the tense, M r.?
Kumar: She is ever evocative.
Rachana: Oh, you are impossible.
Kumar: But I do see possibilities.
Rachana: [Smiles.] Won’t the soft-pedaling be harder on women than the hard sell?
Kumar: How am I to know?
Rachana: Wait till I figure it out.
[The clock (not in the scene) strikes five and they get ready to go.]
[Enter: Diwakar and he talks to Kumar and Rachana (mime). He goes into his chamber, picks up his briefcase and lunch box and comes out. Kumar too picks up his briefcase and lunch box while Rachana keeps her lunch boxes in her handbag.]
[Exit: The three of them. Curtains down.]
Scene -10
[Curtains up: Split setting of the office of Bricks & Bats. In the conference room [right portion] Naveen, Manager, Materials, is deposing before the Complaints Committee on the sexual harassment at the workplace [mime]. In the left portion is Divya.]
[Enter: Navya and goes to the reception desk.]
Navya: M iss, I'm Navya from M AW AH. I would like to meet your M anaging Director.
Divya: Well he is out of station and is expected only the next week..
Navya: [Hands over her business card.] I am from a NGO dealing with sexual harassment at the workplace. M aybe I can see the Personnel manager.
Divya: [Divya glances at Navya's business card.] What a coincidence! Right now the Complaints Committee is hearing a case.
Navya: Oh, really. Is there anyone from a NGO?
Divya: I don't think so.
Navya: Then why not send my card to the concerned person.
Divya: Let me see if she would like to see you now.
[As Navya is seated in the visitors' sofa, Divya goes into the conference room with Navya's business card. When Divya gives the card to the lady heading the complaints committee, she is seen talking to the others [mime] A perplexed Naveen comes out of the conference hall and goes up to Navya.]
Naveen: Believe me, it was all false.
Navya: [surprised.] What is it about?
Naveen: I thought you got wind of M ithuna's complaint against me.
Navya: So you lead a double life.
Naveen: I'll explain everything.
Navya: You should have done that before.
Naveen: I didn't want to upset you dear.
Navya: Now you made it worse for me.
Naveen: Bear with me, I'll tell them and come.
[As Naveen goes into the conference room, Divya comes out of it. As Naveen explains things to his colleagues [mime] they wear a surprised look. At the same time, Navya is seen talking to Divya [mine]. Even as Naveen comes out of the chamber, Navya storms out of the office. A stunned Naveen follows her. [Curtains down.]
Scene -11
[Curtains up: In her drawing room that evening, Rekha in serious discussion with Rachana (mime). The clock (not in the scene) strikes six.]
[Enter: Navya (with a suitcase in each hand) with Ranjan and Nrupa]
Rekha: Is it miya bibi jhagada or what?
Navya: It's no mere jhagada, its jeopardy.
Rachana: Why what happened?
Rekha: Naveen has thrown me into a dilemma.
Rekha: So has Kumar our Rachana.
Navya: Who is that?
Rekha: The Cupid at her office
Navya: Why is it an unrequited love?
Rekha: He's already married.
Navya: Oh how men mislead women
Rekha: Is Naveen cheating on you or what?
Navya: If that's the case, I would have been sulking at home hoping that man always comes back to his wife.
Rachana: What then?
Navya: He was harassing a woman at his office.
Rachana: Oh God, I can understand your dilemma. But what's his version?
Navya: I think his was a partial confession. As coincidences go, he met Mithuna that is her name, on the very day we met. He did admit that he coveted her bowled over by her charms. When he realized she was a flirt, he says that his ardour for her evaporated. But when she shifted gear and began flirting with one and all he saw it was telling upon their performance. Well, the complaints committee upheld his stance that she fixed him as he tried to discipline her and the management fired her.
Rachana: What's the dilemma then?
Navya: After Nritya affair, I'm not going to believe the verdict of any committee. Why, he would have complained against her when she didn't yield to his advances. Besides, having put Sanjay on the mat if I let Naveen off the hook, won’t I have to answer to my conscience?
Rekha: Even if he was guilty, what can be done now?
Navya: Why can't I divorce him to make men realize that womanizing at workplace could be hazardous at home?
Rachana: Don't be crazy.
Rekha: Why become more Christian than the Christ to ruin your children's lives. [She takes the nonplussed Ranjan and Nrupa into her arms.]
Navya: Won’t the double jeopardy be doubly deterring for the hopefuls.
Rekha: Don’t be silly and make me feel guilty for radicalizing you.
Navya: Well, after that experience with Sanjay, I am obsessed about fighting against the errant men.
Rekha: I don’t think you have any grounds for divorce at all.
Navya: M aybe but can't I desert him?
Rekha: What about the children?
Navya: If I can keep them it's fine. If not I would find meaning to my meaningless life by dedicating myself to the MAW AW.
Rekha: Why not I take you to Lawyer Bhagawan? Rachana also needs to understand the implications of bigamy.
Rachana: I don'tthinkthere is any law againsta live-in relationship.
Rekha: What a shame that you want to disturb a woman's married life.
Rachana: Well everything is fair in love and war.
Navya Why not get acquainted with his wife and take her to a couple of movies of the fifties and sixties. Bet if not you, she would imbibe the spirit of self-sacrifice to make it easy for him
Rekha: Jokes apart, why build castles in the air when you have neither declared your love to him nor he indicated his to you.
Rachana: Madam might recall that love manifests itself in looks much before it gets expressed in words.
Rekha: Let Bhagawan (Looks up to the heavens) judge after Lawyer Bhagawan appraises Him about the law of our land.
[Rekha gets up from her seat followed by Rachana and Navya.]
[Enter: Naveen. Navya instinctively takes hold of Ranjan and Nrupa.]
Naveen: Spoil your life if you must. [He moves towards Ranjan and Nrupa as Navya hugs them closer to her.] I don't want your stupidity to ruin their lives.
[Naveen tries to take hold of Ranjan and Nrupa and Navya resists him as Rekha and Rachana watch in dismay. A tug of war ensues between Naveen and Navya for the possession of the bewildered Ranjan and Nrupa who alternately cry 'mummy' and 'daddy'. Naveen prevails in the end and takes hold of the crying Ranjan and Nrupa and drags them towards the exit.]
Navya: I swear I'll drag you to the court.
Naveen: Leaving your home, you've become lame.
Navya: Wait, I'll show you what I am
Naveen: What a sight it makes, a lame woman dragging her man to the court.
[Exit: Naveen with Ranjan and Nrupa yelling 'mummy'.]
Rekha: I think you
must bend for your children's sake.
Navya: Well, I'm more focused than ever. Let's go to Lawyer Bhagawan.
[Exit: Navya, Rachana and Rekha. Curtains down.]
Scene -12
[Curtains up: Lawyer Bhagawan's Office. Bhagawan is at his desk poring over some papers. The clock (not in the scene) strikes seven.]
[Enter: Rekha, Rachana and Navya.]
Bhagawan: Hi Rekha. I’ve read about your MAW AW in The Hindu and wanted to compliment you. Why, work may not kill man but surely it kills his social life.
[Bhagawan asks them to take their seats and as they sit his mobile rings. He checks the caller number and answers the call.]
Bhagawan: I've some clients with me. You can come and collect the decree.
[Bhagawan switches off his mobile.]
Rekha: Sorry for barging in with my battalion.
Bhagawan: You know you're always welcome.
Rekha: Thank you and let me introduce the co-activists of M AW AW. This is Navya [Bhagawan and Navya greet each other] and this is Rachana [Bhagawan and Rachana greet each other],
Bhagawan: Is it about a legal dilemma ora liberal donation. [Bhagawan laughs heartily.]
Rekha: You've put an idea into my head. Be MAWAW's honorary legal advisor.
Bhagawan: Done, I deem it an honour.
Rekha: Thanks a lot. Now we have a twin dilemma, one is about bigamy and another is about divorce.
Bhagawan: Why not we deal with the prosaic before we go to the poetic. Which of these two ladies seeks divorce?
Rekha: M en are men whatever be their calling.
Bhagawan: If not, where's the charm for women.
[Rekha briefs Bhagawan about Navya's case (mime)]
Bhagawan: I thinkyou should give him the benefit of doubt.
Navya: I've no doubt about his guilt
Bhagawan: What if M ithuna is a questionable character?
Navya: Lawyer saab, this is no argument in the court.
[Bhagawan pulls out three case files and places before them. Navya reads one and her colour changes. Rekha and Rachana too peruse one each.]
Rachana: [Exclaims.] Oh, it's our company's suit against M ithuna. Without taking her name, Kumar told me about her.