Revelations
Page 2
that had led her into the room and to the diary.
Like Joe had done before, she wanted to try to feel close to Diane again. She opened the book and peered at the first of the dog-eared pages. Sitting on the plain white bedspread, she read the words, written in neat and precise handwriting:
‘Diane Green.’
The two words were separated by scrawled ink that crossed out another word. It took a second look for Rebecca to recognise that the word was Fitzgerald.
She allowed her thin fingers to turn to the next page. It was filled with the same handwriting and provided the perfect reminder of what Diane had been like when she was thirteen. Along with some lyrics to songs by The Smiths, it was funny, silly, childish, self-important and sweet all at the same time. Rebecca smiled for three whole pages until she read the first mention of her own name:
‘Poor Becky, she must miss Dan so much already. I miss him and I never knew him the way she did. It's all so sad.’
Conflicting types of guilt swept through Rebecca's body and she remembered what had happened to Dan. For a few moments her skin flushed and her thoughts made her forget about Diane.
She tore her heart away from her past and that was when something changed. The words in the diary came to a stop and white lined pages were all that remained. Rebecca skipped ahead and the words returned. They were different. The handwriting had become scruffy, the entries more sporadic, and what she read was somehow uglier. The shock was that only a year had passed from the first entry. And yet, the more she read the more uneasy she felt. There were strange references to 'him' and 'he'; it was almost as if Diane didn’t dare to refer to whoever it was by their name.
Then Rebecca found out why. Teardrops formed and fell from the corners of her eyes as she read the impatient scrawl:
‘I know he did things to me. I never wanted to.’
More words followed and Rebecca struggled to digest that the abuse had gone further. Her heart was beating hard and fast in her throat. She read on; sickness rising from her stomach and falling away again. She realised then that she was only scanning the pages looking for a name.
All she found among the horrible details was Diane’s doubt. She’d known what happened but still forced herself to question if it might have only been in her head. Rebecca could finally see why her cousin had been such a mess. More tears fell onto the pages.
She reached the end and immediately went back to the start; desperate to find anything she might have missed. She turned each page until she reached the blank section that separated the neatness from the mess. Going through it much more carefully, she found words she hadn’t seen before. They were still written in neat handwriting and that somehow made them more horrific. The only distortion to the ink came from teardrops that had dried years earlier when Diane had written:
‘I don't know why Dad came into my room. He told me it was a secret and I couldn't ever tell. He told me I was beautiful. He told me I was beautiful.’
The diary slipped from Rebecca's hands and she realised she couldn’t read any more. Knowing the truth was almost unbearable but she knew there was worse that she had to do. She had to tell Lily.
The room seemed to shrink down to the size of only her and the diary on her lap, while the ache in the depth of her stomach grew. She realised she couldn’t make herself find and tell her aunt. She didn’t have the strength or the willpower. If it had to happen, and she knew that it did, she wanted it to be because she couldn’t avoid it.
So, she just sat and cried until the only thing she had left to hope for actually happened. Lily saw the open door and discovered her in tears. There was no choice for Rebecca then. She had to explain.
“I’m so sorry,” Rebecca said, the dryness of her mouth barely allowing the words to escape.
She handed Lily the diary, and showed her the pages that made everything clear. As she did so, the silent, sickening sight of guilt appeared on Lily’s face. Somehow, she remained on her feet but revenge was in her heart; reflected as the purest hatred in her eyes. Angry tears fell from them and she moved towards the door. Rebecca held her back.
“Not like this,” she spluttered to her aunt.
“Then how?” Lily asked, “You read what he did... He should burn in hell...”
Rebecca led her back to Diane’s bed and they both sat down. Lily wept quietly, while the dampness on Rebecca’s cheeks started to dry. The younger woman took a deep breath and spoke again. Each word spilling unexpectedly from somewhere within her:
“It’s all too late but we can destroy him… We are going to destroy him.”
They needed a trial by media. Destroying his public image was the best way Rebecca could see to hit Harry Fitzgerald where it would hurt him most. The danger in just going to the police was that he might find an expensive lawyer to manipulate facts and distort the truth.
Offering Diane’s words from beyond the grave to every newspaper outlet in the country would allow him no escape. He would be hung out to dry and that was the least he deserved.
“It’ll be Diane’s words that nail the bastard,” Rebecca told Lily.
In the days that followed, the two of them set about their task. They photocopied the most damning elements of the diary and Rebecca wrote what was virtually a press release for the story. Then she simply passed on the hastily compiled portfolio to every contact or friend she had in the media. After that, Lily only had to confirm to the assembled hordes that the diary and published content was genuine.
That was when the feeding frenzy truly began. Every lie and fabrication that Harry Fitzgerald had used to create his image was stripped away. The sickness within was laid bare.
He didn’t last long after that, even though he never admitted the truth. He still managed to provide a final headline for himself by retreating to his mansion and putting a bullet in his brain.
The news of his death left Lily rather cold. She couldn’t take any real pleasure in it, although she wasn’t sad to know he was gone.
She felt some relief but it wasn’t enough. She still carried around too much guilt because she blamed herself for everything that had happened to Diane. Months went by and the sadness that stemmed from that remained unmoved, even by the love that was still left in her life. And through it all, the diary that had already shared so much had one final truth left to reveal.
The day that Lily looked at it again was almost a year after Diane's death. It was a deliberate act. Her only reason for going into the room was to make herself feel bad; to pick at the scab because it was all she thought she deserved. She took the diary from Diane’s bedside table and sat down on the bedspread. This time though, the book opened at the last page; on the final entry that Lily hadn’t read before. She read each word slowly and something inside her changed. Her guilt began to disperse, floating up into the atmosphere like cigarette smoke in the open air.
Tears formed in her eyes but this time they did not fall, as she read the final words of her beloved daughter:
‘Mum puts up with so much and she still knows what’s best. I’m proud to be her daughter. She deserves nothing but happiness because she believes. I don’t really know how but she does. In me, in John, in love. And that’s the most important part because if SHE can believe in love then I know I can too.’
Lily closed the diary and read no further. There wasn’t any need. She finally believed and knew that her daughter had loved her and even though she was gone that was all that mattered.
Learn About The Author
A writer of multiple genres, James Eddy began writing film and television scripts before moving into Short Stories, Novels and Novellas. ‘Revelations’ is the ninth part of his short story collection, ‘Diamonds’. For more information, please visit www.jameseddy.co.uk or feel free to contact him via Twitter or Facebook
ABOUT YOUNGBLOOD BOOKS
Founded in 2012, Youngblood Books is owned and operated by James Eddy. We publish a diverse range of genres, including Comedy, Drama, Children's Stories, Ro
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