Four girls sat there, each keeping to herself. One of them was Ellie. She was reading what looked like a newspaper, and seemed to be oblivious to the chaos around her. His heart skipped a beat.
What was that he felt? Fear? Was he actually afraid of her? A twinge of embarrassment shot through him. Maybe she really was a challenge, even to someone like him. Or could it be that he wasn’t as good at making friends as he thought? He forcibly slammed the door on the creeping tentacles of doubt and self-loathing that were trying to force their way into his mind. He would have to give it another try. After all, he’d told B.J. he wasn’t one to give up easily.
He would make good on that boast. He would see this thing through with Ellie Thompson, come what may! Caleb grabbed B.J., who was in the middle of an animated debate with Jenny Bristol over who had the better movie resume, Tom Hanks or Denzel Washington.
“I’ll see you in class B.J. There’s something I have to do before fifth period.”
B.J. stopped talking. “What do you hafta do before class?”
“Nothing important. Just gotta talk to somebody, that’s all.” He stood up and grabbed his tray.
“Okay. See ya!” B.J. turned back to Jenny and picked up the debate right where he’d left off.
Kelli Anderson, who had been sitting across from Caleb, looked up quizzically. “Anything wrong, Caleb? You seem pretty quiet today.”
A hot flush spread across his face, and he hoped it didn’t show. Leave it to Kelli to notice his introspection. “Nothing’s wrong. Just thinking about . . . things, I guess.”
He hastily retreated from the group and headed toward the far corner of the cafeteria. Two of the other three girls at Ellie’s table had already left. He took a deep breath. For the first time, he noticed that she wasn’t dressed quite as nicely as most of the other girls in school. Not that it mattered to him. What a person was on the inside was far more important that what they wore, or how they looked.
Ellie didn’t notice him standing across the table from her. She was buried in her newspaper.
“Mind if I sit here?” Caleb’s mouth suddenly felt dry.
Ellie glanced up, and a look of recognition crept across her face. She shrugged. “Be my guest. It’s a free country.” She smiled ever so slightly, as if worried her tone had been too harsh. Then she dove back into the paper.
“Thanks.” Leaving an empty chair between them, he sat down, and cautioned himself, Take it easy, Caleb. Give her some space. Be patient.
He sipped his Coke, hoping the carbonation would alleviate the dryness in his mouth. After shooting a sideways glance at the other girl across the table, he took a bite of his sandwich and silently watched Ellie for a minute. She was looking at the job listings.
“Looking for a job?” He had to start somewhere, and that was as good an opening as he could come up with at the moment. When she glanced up at him, he was reminded of how beautiful she was.
“Yes.”
“How’s it going?”
“I’m not having any luck.” She returned to her paper.
Apparently she was going to give him only the bare minimum reply to his questions. Nothing more.
Undaunted, he continued. “I guess there just aren’t very many jobs in a small town like Baxter.”
A hint of resentment crept into her voice. “It’s not that. All the other kids grabbed them before I got here.” She looked down again.
“Yeah, I see what you mean. I never thought about that before. Must be hard being in a new school and a new town. I mean, I’ve never had to deal with anything like that. I’ve always lived here. Got my job when I was a sophomore.” He stopped and grinned, “I guess that makes me part of the problem, huh!” He detected a slight smile from her. Not much of one, but it was enough to keep him going. “Have you tried any of the stores at the mall?”
“I’ve looked everywhere.” The other girl at the table got up to leave.
Caleb thought about his dad’s insurance agency. While he knew his dad didn’t have anything, the other businesses might. “What about the businesses downtown?”
Exasperation filled her brown eyes. “I’ve tried there. I’ve tried the grocery stores, the restaurants, the drug stores. Even the gas stations!”
Still trying to be helpful, he added, “What about Cairo? Have you looked over there? Of course, that would mean going over to the enemy.”
This time, he was sure of the smile. But it quickly disappeared. She hesitated, as if embarrassed. “I don’t have any way of getting there.”
Caleb was running out of ideas. “Couldn’t your mom or dad take you to work?”
Ellie stiffened noticeably, and began collecting her things. “I . . . I have to go.” She looked uncomfortable. “I have some things to do before fifth period.”
As he scrambled for what to do next, a still small voice seemed to whisper in his ear. She pushed back her chair and stood up. He had to talk fast. “If I hear of anything, I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks.” She managed a nervous smile.
“I’ll be praying that God will give you the perfect job.”
She stopped and stared at him, eyes wide.
“Why would you even do that?” she asked suspiciously. “You don’t know anything about me!”
Taken aback, he wasn’t sure how to respond. “Well . . . you’re right. I don’t know anything about you.” He paused. A shot of boldness flowed through him. “But God does. He knows all about you, and He knows what you need.”
Her eyes narrowed and grew cold. The wall he thought he’d been tearing down brick by brick was suddenly back up again, and higher than ever. “Well I don’t believe that!” She spat out the words loudly.
Kids at the surrounding tables turned and looked at them. Embarrassed by the unwanted attention, Ellie quickly sat down next to him and lowered her voice. “Listen, if God knows what I need, then why did He let my father abandon us soon after I was born?” He could see pain in her eyes. “And why would He allow my mother to die when I was only seven? Seven! Do you have any idea what that did to me?”
Caleb stared back at her in stunned silence. This time, he was at a loss for words. “I . . . I’m really sorry you had to go through that.” He fumbled for anything comforting. “It must be awfully hard for you to—”
“I don’t want your sympathy!” Ellie cut him off sharply.
She leaned forward so no one else could hear. “All I want is for people to leave me alone. Just leave me alone!” Tears welled up in her eyes. She got up hastily and grabbed her backpack.
Then she rushed out of the cafeteria, leaving her tray and Caleb behind.
CHAPTER TWO
TWO COATS AND ONE HORSE
WEEKDAYS WERE PRETTY BUSY FOR Caleb. Especially Wednesdays. After a full day of classes, it was two hours of football practice, home for a quick shower and supper, and then off to church youth group from seven o’clock to eight-thirty. The youth meetings were great. About twenty-five or thirty kids came each week. They’d play ping-pong or Foosball for a while, and then sing a few songs and listen to a talk from the youth pastor before breaking into smaller discussion groups. Each week he’d leave early enough to pick up some of the other kids who didn’t have rides, including B.J., Kelli Anderson, and her younger sister Krystal. While a ten-year old Hyundai sedan with over a hundred thousand miles, hail damage, and one different colored door wasn’t exactly a teenage boy’s pride and joy, it was a blessing his parents were able to provide for him.
Following the youth meeting, and after dropping off his friends, he drove home, passed on his usual evening snack, and went straight up to his room. He did a backwards flop onto his bed—one that might have set a school record had it been in the high jump pit—completely forgetting his promise not to do that. It was because of that exact maneuver that his previous box spring had been forced into an early retirement.
But tonight, Caleb didn’t think about eating snacks or keeping promises. His latest encounter with Ellie consum
ed his thoughts. Lying on his back, fingers laced behind his head, he stared absentmindedly at the nearly invisible crack in the bedroom ceiling. It had been difficult explaining to B.J. in fifth period what had taken place between him and Ellie in the cafeteria. How many other kids had witnessed the awkward exchange? He didn’t relish the idea of having to explain it to anyone else. What had he learned from her so far?
That she was desperate for a job.
That her dad had abandoned her and her mother had died when she was seven.
That she was hurting, and isolated, and angry at God.
But why did she need a job so badly? Who was she living with now? Where did she move from? And why did she move here just before her last year in high school? Replaying the events over and over in his mind, he sought to discover where he had gone wrong. He was certain the Holy Spirit had prompted him to tell Ellie that he would pray for her and that God cared about her. But he had been unprepared for her response. The flash of anger followed by the hurt in her beautiful brown eyes haunted him. It seemed he had touched on the reason why she kept to herself, why she wanted to keep everyone at a distance. It was obvious she was deeply wounded.
Who wouldn’t be? To never know one parent, and then to lose the other one at such a young age would be devastating to anyone. He even understood why she might want to blame God. Despite her not wanting his, or anyone else’s sympathy, he felt sorry for her. She was blaming and rejecting the only One who could offer her the hope and healing she truly needed.
He prayed softly, “Lord, please be with Ellie. She’s had a tough time, losing her dad and mom. Show her how much You love her. And show me how I can help her find You.” He started drifting off to sleep. “And please provide a job for her . . . one right here in Baxter.”
Caleb didn’t see Ellie all day Thursday. While he didn’t have any classes with her, he usually caught a glimpse of her in the hallway between periods, or at lunch. Could she be sick? No. Most likely she was intentionally avoiding him. On Friday, instead of eating lunch in the cafeteria, he carried his tray outside to the “Senior Suite.”
A dozen or so students dotted the eight picnic tables that were scattered randomly around the grassy courtyard reserved for the upperclassmen. Caleb selected an unoccupied one farthest from the others and sat down. Today he didn’t feel much like eating with his friends in the cafeteria. Or even being around anyone for that matter. He wanted to be alone to think. And to pray. He had no idea how long he’d been sitting there when someone called his name.
“Caleb?”
He looked up. Ellie stood at the far end of the table. His heart pounded in his ears. “Uh . . . hi.”
She glanced around uncomfortably, as if to make sure no one was within earshot, before speaking hesitantly. “I didn’t mean to . . . to lose it the other day,” she apologized.
For some reason, her terse statement sent his spirits soaring. “That’s okay.”
“I mean, I wasn’t really angry with you. I know you were just trying to be nice.”
Some of the self-assurance that had fled him returned. “You’d be surprised how many nice kids there are here at school.” He thought of B.J. “You just need to give them a chance, that’s all.”
The pain flickered in her eyes again.
With a sheepish grin, he added hastily, “Of course, of all the nice kids here at school, I’m the nicest!”
She arched her brow skeptically. “Oh, really?”
“Sure. Just ask anybody!” For the first time he heard her laugh. It was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard, and he would never forget it.
She shook her head. “I’ll take your word for it.” Then she grew serious again. “Look, I’m really not as bad a person as everyone thinks I am.”
“I don’t think you’re a bad person at all,” he reassured her, desperately wanting her to sit down so he could talk with her. “Care to join me for a minute?”
Recalling her opening comment from their last meeting, he motioned to the empty bench across the table. “Be my guest. After all, I recently heard somewhere that it is a free country!”
Ellie rolled her eyes. A faint smile threatened to reveal itself. “Well . . . ” she hesitated. “Okay. But only for a minute.”
She placed her backpack on the table between them and sat opposite him. “Look, here’s how I see things: I’m stuck in Baxter for a year, okay? After graduation, I’m out of here! I really don’t have time to make friends.”
“A lot can happen in a year, you know!” He tried to be encouraging, but she didn’t take the bait.
“Most of you have grown up together here. I’m the outsider. The new kid on the block. Anyway, I need to focus on my grades. And working all I can.”
He fished around in his brain for something to say. “Still no luck with the job search?”
“Not yet. But I’m not going to give up. I can’t afford to.” She paused. “Where do you work?”
It was the first time she had actually asked him a question. Maybe the wall was beginning to come down again. “At the Pet Palace near the mall. I work there only a couple of nights and on Saturdays, though. Because of football. My parents bought me a car last year, but I have to pay for gas and repairs and stuff. It’s not much of a car, but it gets me where I need to go, you know? Plus, I’m saving a little money for college expenses. That’s why the job. What about you?”
“Well, I’m uh . . . I’m saving for college, too.” She offered no further details.
“Where are you going?”
“University of Georgia, I hope.” She looked around as if she wanted to leave.
“Me too! My parents are covering my tuition and room and board, but I have to pay for everything else. I applied in August, but I haven’t heard anything yet. When did you apply?”
She hesitated long enough that he began to fear he’d said the wrong thing again.
“I um . . . I haven’t yet.” She stared at the table for a moment, then looked up directly at him. The hurt had returned to her eyes. “You’re so lucky to have parents who are able to pay for college.”
A million questions raced through his mind, but he checked himself.
Remembering how guarded she could be, he resisted the urge to ask who she now lived with. He was grateful for the little she had already shared.
Before he could figure out how to respond, she announced, “Hey, I really need to go.” Ellie stood up and grabbed her backpack. “But I appreciate the chance to clear the air.”
“No problem.” A thought occurred to him. “Hey, listen. Some of us hang out at Edwards Drive-In on Saturday nights. If you don’t have anything to do, maybe you could join us.” Then, in case she might need more convincing, he added, “They’ve got really good food!”
“I doubt if I’ll be able to make it. Once I find a job, I’ll be working all the time.” She started to walk away, but turned around. “Thanks for the offer, though.”
Her smile, and the bounce of her auburn hair as she walked away warmed him in a way he had never known before.
Another week went by. Uneventful compared to the previous one. Caleb saw Ellie only in passing in the hallway on several occasions. They had exchanged a polite “Hi,” but nothing more. He constantly thought about their interaction at the table in the Senior Suite. She had approached him! And she’d actually sat down and engaged in a brief conversation. That was the furthest anyone in school had been able to get with her—a fact about which he couldn’t help feeling a little bit of pride.
During Wednesday night youth group, he shared the details with B.J, who seemed genuinely impressed.
“Just be careful, Caleb,” he cautioned. “It’s easy to let someone like her change you. You gotta admit, you’ve been pretty preoccupied with her lately. And that challenge thing? You know you don’t have to prove anything to me.”
“Yeah, I know, I know. But thanks for the warning, anyway.” He grinned sheepishly. “I promise I’ll try to control myself in the future.”
>
Sitting through economics class and listening to Mr. Grossman drone on and on in his monotone voice had never been a particularly enjoyable exercise for Caleb, but one required for graduation. As he absentmindedly doodled in the margins of his class notes, he allowed his mind to wander to Ellie Thompson.
What was so mesmerizing about her?
Was it her looks? Her eyes? Her hair?
She was very attractive.
Or was it that she was a bit of an unknown, and therefore mysterious?
Perhaps it was the cold, hard fact that she was a real challenge, one which he had been so eager to tackle. Or could it be that he was actually falling for her?
No, he couldn’t allow himself to go there.
Since giving his life to Christ back in the eighth grade, he had committed to putting Jesus first in everything he did. That included his social life. Two years ago, Tony Sonnenberg, his youth pastor, had spoken to the group about honoring God in their relationships. Caleb had been one of many who had voluntarily signed a pledge, based on the “unequal yoke” principle of Second Corinthians, to not only remain sexually pure until marriage, but to only date other Christians who were seeking to obey the Lord in their daily lives. While that commitment had narrowed the field considerably, he was determined to keep his promise. He had dated a number of girls since, but none steadily or too seriously.
No, he couldn’t let himself fall for Ellie. But he wished he could somehow convince her to join his group of friends. They were all decent kids, and he was sure she’d fit in. If she’d only open up and give them a chance.
He began piecing together the threads of information he had extracted from her in their two brief conversations. She was hurting from the loss of her parents, and wanted to be left alone for the most part. She wasn’t here by choice, and couldn’t wait to graduate and get away from Baxter. Didn’t want to make friends. Didn’t have time. She wanted to go to Georgia, but hadn’t applied yet.
A Future and a Hope Page 2